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I need a reality check re: daycare
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Anonymous
| I had to pick up DC early from daycare today. He is an older infant who just started daycare. The daycare he attends has a great reputation and the infant/teacher ratio is excellent. Anyway, I was really shocked today because there was this little boy sitting on the floor and crying. All the teachers were ignoring him. I went over to him and asked him in a sweet voice, "why are you crying baby" to try to get the staff to notice him. The lead teacher turned to me and explained, "he is just hungry." I know that at the time all of this was going on, the children had just had stroller rides and the staff was busy getting their lunches ready. I just found it strange that they chose to ignore him instead of one of them picking him up and holding him until his lunch was ready. DH & my mom do not find this to be as worrisome. Does anyone have a reality check for me? Thanks. |
Anonymous
| I haven't visited a daycare where I didn't see this kind of behavior, even the very reputable centers with good ratios. It's the reality of one caregiver for 3 infants. Someone is always crying. I think they become desensitized to it and, what really troubled me, was when someone could have done something, could have shared some soothing words, but chose to ignore. It's a hard job, I know. I can't imagine caring for 3 infants. And crying isn't going to kill anyone. But I couldn't stomach it and we changed our minds at the last minute at the one center that we were trying to transition into the infant room with an older infant. |
Anonymous
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I don't know what to think. There are a couple of scenarios beyond neglect:
1) This is normal behavior for this boy at this time of day so they are not concerned. 2) They were actively doing something else and could not attend to him and, since they knew he was hungry, were not at all concerned. My assumption is that they knew he was hungry. I will leave my daughter crying at times when I know she's hungry and I am getting her food. Honestly, I don't know what else to do than let her cry while I make food. She'll be playing totally happily and then all of a sudden start screaming for food. There is no warning that she's hungry. Maybe that's what this kid was doing. As long as they were around him and he was safe and clean I wouldn't worry about it. On the other hand, if it really concerns you maybe it is not the right setting for you. |
Anonymous
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It is easy to walk in the middle of a parenting or childcare situation and misjudge it.
Tears pull at us, but we know that rushing to each and every one of a child's crying episodes will not help a child in the long run. |
Anonymous
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As a previous infant "teacher", I just rolled my eyes when I read this. They know the baby is crying!!!!!!! They can hear him. They can't attend to him at that moment. It happens. It will happen to your child. It happened to my child. Also, some babies cry all.the.time.
We had one little girl that cried if she was not being held but she also cried when she was being held so we couldn't win. Once she came to the kitchen door (it was a half size with plexiglass), I was holding a baby and she was screaming and trying to pull up on the door. I was too short to reach over the door to grab her, my asst was changing a diaper and I am sure if anyone walked in they would have been shocked bc it would have appeared I was just standing there watching her scream. Trust me I used the nicest voice I could but babies don't get "can you pls, pls move away from the door so I can get out and pick you up!" And after about the 10th time I gave up and had to wait it out. |
Anonymous
| OP here- thanks for the responses. It makes me realize that perhaps I am overreacting. |
Anonymous
| I don't think you're overreacting per se. I think seeing that would be upsetting to any mother, especially with the realization that the same will likely happen with your baby. It is the reality of daycare, however, and like the PPs have said it certainly won't hurt in any sort of a lasting way. It's just something you have to get used to and you're early in the adjustment process. It will certainly get easier, best wishes! |
Anonymous
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Honestly, you sound like a horrible daycare teacher who just doesn't care. You are part of the problem. Sorry, there is NO baby that cries ALL the time.
As a previous infant "teacher", I just rolled my eyes when I read this. They know the baby is crying!!!!!!! They can hear him. They can't attend to him at that moment. It happens. It will happen to your child. It happened to my child. Also, some babies cry all.the.time. We had one little girl that cried if she was not being held but she also cried when she was being held so we couldn't win. Once she came to the kitchen door (it was a half size with plexiglass), I was holding a baby and she was screaming and trying to pull up on the door. I was too short to reach over the door to grab her, my asst was changing a diaper and I am sure if anyone walked in they would have been shocked bc it would have appeared I was just standing there watching her scream. Trust me I used the nicest voice I could but babies don't get "can you pls, pls move away from the door so I can get out and pick you up!" And after about the 10th time I gave up and had to wait it out. |
Anonymous
| Clearly overreacting. Any parent at home (working parent or not) will not be able to attend to a crying child 100% of the time. geez. |
Anonymous
Huh? Of course you can. You just stop what you're doing and hold/comfort him of her. Are you kidding? |
Anonymous
I think the PP probably meant not able to "immediately" attend to the crying child. Or if you have more than 1 child to attend to at the same time |
Anonymous
Are YOU kidding? if the child is hungry and crying, how is stopping the effort to get his/her food ready going to help??? it seems the proper sequence is finish making bottle, calm child, feed bottle. get real. |
Anonymous
You have one baby so you have the experience of one baby. Being a infant "teacher", I had the experience of many babies and all babies are different and yes some cry all the time. The only time she didn't cry for sure was when she was napping. She even cried through eating! She had no documented medical or physical problems. Be grateful you didn't have one that cried all the time. She cried at home also - unless they were holding her and even then she would still cry. This continued until she went into the toddler room and got better around 18mths. We tried to suggest politely and then almost beg the parents to consider a nanny for her or a small home daycare but they wouldn't even consider it bc the daycare center was so close to their office. Once in a while the dad would visit but he eventually stopped and then they started dropping her off at 8am as soon as we opened and picking her up a 6pm when we closed. Should I have just labeled them as "horrible parents who just didn't care?" |
Anonymous
WOULD HATE TO BE IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD -- NOTHING WOULD GET DONE. JUST A BUNCH OF CODEPENDANT PEOPLE COMFORTING EACH OTHER ALL DAY LONG. |
Anonymous
Our center prohibited us from asking parents or allowing parents to attend to a child. They were not supposed to have physical contact with someone else's child unless for safety or health issue as in the child was going to run out the door, they could physical prevent the child from doing that but they couldn't just come in and pick up a crying baby that wasn't their own. |