I need a reality check re: daycare

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, you sound like a horrible daycare teacher who just doesn't care. You are part of the problem. Sorry, there is NO baby that cries ALL the time.

Actually mine did when he was teething. You sound like a horrible judgemental clueless person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Clearly overreacting. Any parent at home (working parent or not) will not be able to attend to a crying child 100% of the time. geez.

Huh? Of course you can. You just stop what you're doing and hold/comfort him of her. Are you kidding?

WOULD HATE TO BE IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD -- NOTHING WOULD GET DONE. JUST A BUNCH OF CODEPENDANT PEOPLE COMFORTING EACH OTHER ALL DAY LONG.

Yeah, sounds pretty lovey-dovey but at least they can spell and use the shift key.

[Anonymous]

Some babies DO cry all day... mine did for 5-6 months due to reflux and it was incredibly difficult.

[Anonymous]

Ouch ouch ouch.

As usual, this thread has turned venemous, but if you read between the barbs, I think it will give you a certain understanding of the "reality" of day care centers. Even with a "good" ratio (what is that? 2-1? 3-1?) a day care person working in an infant room is, at best, like a mother with twins, or triplets.... There are some WONDERFUL women who do this job, (there are also some hardened and "uncaring" women). But the reality is, you CAN'T always stop to attend to a crying infant, because sometimes your best bet is to continue getting everyone's bottles ready so that you don't end up with THREE crying infants.

So, while I don't think the scene you witnessed relects a lack of care (necessarily), I would be (and was) bothered by it if I was going to send my infant there. I did send my infant to a day care center for the first month. This scene is pretty common. I was bothered enough by it (and felt my son was really having a very hard time adjusting from a one-on-one situation with me (where I could juggle him and get his bottle ready), to a 4-1 situation at the daycare. I switched him to an in-home care where he was the only baby, and for me it made a huge difference.

I'm not "judging" day care centers, as I think they have a lot of positives too. But from my standpoint, this is one of the primary negatives, and it is part of the "reality".

[Anonymous]

choosing what kind of daycare (if any at all) is such a tough thing to do. i, for instance, wouldn't be comfortable with in-home care (as opposed to a center), b/c i need more accountability--more eyes, more structure, etc....my son is thriving in daycare. when we got there back in feb., he was one of just a few babies in the infant room who wasn't sitting up. most of the babies were more mobile and less needy. it was great. he was so tiny and cute (at 5 months) that the teachers clamored to hold him. i visit frequently so can see that no baby is left to cry for very long. think about it: who wants to listen to a crying baby?

[Anonymous]

OP, what you saw is a snapshot. I am very lucky that my daycare has 2:1 ratio...the infants range from 4-10 months and although they are generally on the same eating/nap schedule, the caregivers stagger this so that one is fed and happily playing on the floor while the other gets fed. Somehow they manage this juggling act well and I know b/c I pick up my baby at random times a lot. Only occasionally has an infant been crying and it is usually the same one, so I will chalk it up to his temperament. I am sure my baby has cried at least once! I'd rather not know about it since I feel that she is getting good care and I am confident that they responded to her as soon as possible. It is a leap of faith, one that is easier to make if you are generally satisfied with the daycare. If you are not, you might want to investigate others. There are good ones out there.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I'm not sure what you can expect when kids are all thrown in a room together and outnumber their caregiver(s)--of course some will get ignored, even when crying.

[Anonymous]

I can relate to the OPs concerns. When a mom is at home and the baby is crying, she knows the full story: the baby is hungry, I will hurry up and make his meal or pick him up and soothe him first; the baby just fell down - I need to pick him up immediately, etc. Walking in on this type of situation - you don't know the full story and it is easy to think the worst since your child is "at risk" too.

OP-if possible, try and stop in periodically to try and see the bigger picture. It is a tough job to deal with so many children with different needs and temperaments at the same time, so inevitably, some of the children won't get attention all the time (as they probably wouldn't at home).

I'd be concerned, too, but before making unfair judgements, I'd keep my eye on the situation. Parents need to be proactive when it comes to overseeing the care of their children and there is nothing wrong with feeling uneasy about a situation. Chances are that it was just a matter of you walking in during a busy time, with busy caretakers and hungry children, which is par for the course and not horrible in and of itself. But I still think it is a good idea, ALWAYS, to check in once in awhile.

[Anonymous]

OP you should say something immediately to the Director. Do you mind sharing which daycare you are using? We love our two lead teachers but this summer they have a less than stellar sub covering vacation time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I'm not sure what you can expect when kids are all thrown in a room together and outnumber their caregiver(s)--of course some will get ignored, even when crying.

I will never understand why people who are so anti-daycare (many of whom have probably never set foot in one) feel the need to post on daycare threads. But anyway. It's not just a matter of being outnumbered. Even when I was a SAHM with only one child, I couldn't possibly attend to his every need and prevent him from crying at all times. Hunger is actually the #1 reason (IMO) when it is acceptable to let them cry--assuming you are in the process of getting food ready. Picking them up only makes the process of getting food ready take longer, and is probably less safe if you try to multitask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I'm not sure what you can expect when kids are all thrown in a room together and outnumber their caregiver(s)--of course some will get ignored, even when crying.

I will never understand why people who are so anti-daycare (many of whom have probably never set foot in one) feel the need to post on daycare threads. But anyway. It's not just a matter of being outnumbered. Even when I was a SAHM with only one child, I couldn't possibly attend to his every need and prevent him from crying at all times. Hunger is actually the #1 reason (IMO) when it is acceptable to let them cry--assuming you are in the process of getting food ready. Picking them up only makes the process of getting food ready take longer, and is probably less safe if you try to multitask.

Why is that comment anti-daycare? Do children not outnumber their caregivers in daycare?

[Anonymous]

Transitions are hard for children - they may be tired from being outside, especially now that it's hot, and hungry/thirsty. Babies in particular will cry, though my 2 year old sometimes cries (at school and at home) because they can't articulate how they are feeling with words and they are uncomfortable. I wouldn't worry too much - I would definitely worry more if it seems that your child isn't being changed or fed.

That being said, if you are concerned, if it's possible, you might just drop in during your lunch (go early or later than their feeding/transition) so you can observe the teachers at work. It might set your mind at ease.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I'm not sure what you can expect when kids are all thrown in a room together and outnumber their caregiver(s)--of course some will get ignored, even when crying.

I will never understand why people who are so anti-daycare (many of whom have probably never set foot in one) feel the need to post on daycare threads. But anyway. It's not just a matter of being outnumbered. Even when I was a SAHM with only one child, I couldn't possibly attend to his every need and prevent him from crying at all times. Hunger is actually the #1 reason (IMO) when it is acceptable to let them cry--assuming you are in the process of getting food ready. Picking them up only makes the process of getting food ready take longer, and is probably less safe if you try to multitask.

Why is that comment anti-daycare? Do children not outnumber their caregivers in daycare?

It's not the outnumber part; it's the "I'm not sure what you can expect when kids are all thrown in a room" part. That set the tone of the post. If s/he had just said "when kids outnumber their caregivers, some will get ignored, even when crying" then it wouldn't have sounded anti-daycare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I'm not sure what you can expect when kids are all thrown in a room together and outnumber their caregiver(s)--of course some will get ignored, even when crying.

I will never understand why people who are so anti-daycare (many of whom have probably never set foot in one) feel the need to post on daycare threads. But anyway. It's not just a matter of being outnumbered. Even when I was a SAHM with only one child, I couldn't possibly attend to his every need and prevent him from crying at all times. Hunger is actually the #1 reason (IMO) when it is acceptable to let them cry--assuming you are in the process of getting food ready. Picking them up only makes the process of getting food ready take longer, and is probably less safe if you try to multitask.

Why is that comment anti-daycare? Do children not outnumber their caregivers in daycare?

children often outnumber their caregivers (parents) at home too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I'm not sure what you can expect when kids are all thrown in a room together and outnumber their caregiver(s)--of course some will get ignored, even when crying.

I will never understand why people who are so anti-daycare (many of whom have probably never set foot in one) feel the need to post on daycare threads. But anyway. It's not just a matter of being outnumbered. Even when I was a SAHM with only one child, I couldn't possibly attend to his every need and prevent him from crying at all times. Hunger is actually the #1 reason (IMO) when it is acceptable to let them cry--assuming you are in the process of getting food ready. Picking them up only makes the process of getting food ready take longer, and is probably less safe if you try to multitask.

Why is that comment anti-daycare? Do children not outnumber their caregivers in daycare?

Because she chose to use the loaded word - "ignore."