Feedback from uptown all girls for K?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of the specific pathologies are different, but this thread makes it sound like Brearley is undergoing a process very similar to Fieldston’s downfall in the early ‘10s.

This "thread" seems to be all from the same person. And she shouted down and belittled the perspective of the one other parent who pushed back such that we never heard from them again. One piece of advice I will take from her, though, is to ask questions and make the decision for myself. If tomorrow goes well, of course! Good luck everyone!

[Anonymous]

It is only me, hi! The other person called me a racist and an idiot and told me I needed some humility, and I responded calmly talking about my thoughts on books and learning, mentioning some real problems. I wished his daughter well, and we continued to chat until he had a good memory about an English class in college. Someone else called me racist, not realizing the writers I was talking about were all Black writers who had been taken out of the curriculum, but they lost interest. I am glad he had that memory. Teaching such as that is such a gift.

I’d love if these changes were being made to diversity, as a financial aid kid at private school, the new policy on aid is pretty brilliant, but I think they are admin donors and the people they are making room for is the bigger money donors. None of them are being made for the sake of the girls who aren’t stupidly wealthy.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, the wokeness is what people focus on, but it’s mainly a smoke screen. It’s just a standard corporate takeover, people knifing each other in the back. I focus on it because the curriculum was the reason for my season at the school. Pretty sure a lot of this was the old head taking our grudges on her way out the door and hiring consultants to make her look not racist because of an insta account.

Anonymous wrote:Some of the specific pathologies are different, but this thread makes it sound like Brearley is undergoing a process very similar to Fieldston’s downfall in the early ‘10s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is only me, hi! The other person called me a racist and an idiot and told me I needed some humility, and I responded calmly talking about my thoughts on books and learning, mentioning some real problems. I wished his daughter well, and we continued to chat until he had a good memory about an English class in college. Someone else called me racist, not realizing the writers I was talking about were all Black writers who had been taken out of the curriculum, but they lost interest. I am glad he had that memory. Teaching such as that is such a gift.

I’d love if these changes were being made to diversity, as a financial aid kid at private school, the new policy on aid is pretty brilliant, but I think they are admin donors and the people they are making room for is the bigger money donors. None of them are being made for the sake of the girls who aren’t stupidly wealthy.

I’m afraid you’re conflating several people here, I brought up the English class memory but I was not the person who called you a racist/idiot/etc.

[Anonymous]

I’d love to bring this back to the original topic of feedback from girls schools. We had positive feedback from 3 and meh feedback from Spence. We really loved two, first choiced one of them and am really hoping for good news tomorrow — especially because we loved the second choice almost as much as the first. How’s everyone else feeling?

[Anonymous]

We joined Brearley upper school from another private. Teachers are overall great with a few odd ones here and there, though not significantly better than at her previous school. The peers are amazing! Very talented and driven, great inspiration for each other. My daughter has many good friends there and they have lots of fun learning together. She loves going to school everyday. No the school didn’t pay me to post this lol.

Parents are expected to join one diversity/community event a year I believe, but the ones we went to were not particularly woke, more like just another school event. Nothing my daughter mentioned about school sounded particularly progressive or DEI driven. There is a lot of diversity in upper school student body and more financial aid students who are just excellent. Funny thing is that my daughter’s previous school was far more progressive, yet whiter and there is more flaunt of wealth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:. There is a lot of diversity in upper school student body and more financial aid students who are just excellent.

On this point - do they have more fin aid spots in the upper school than in the earlier grades? Or is it specifically for prep-for-prep students? And how do you know who the financial aid kids are?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:. There is a lot of diversity in upper school student body and more financial aid students who are just excellent.

On this point - do they have more fin aid spots in the upper school than in the earlier grades? Or is it specifically for prep-for-prep students? And how do you know who the financial aid kids are?

The girls know and talk about the fin aid students in lower and middle, mainly because they themselves are so obsessed with katie j and stanley’s and who goes to what camp and who goes to what resort. It’s just in the culture.

There is a weird upper east side world of supper clubs and country clubs I had never heard of and won’t hear about after we leave. I think the older are more academic superstar types. I am not sure the ones who have been at the school have been as well educated and will do well against them. I don’t quite get the point of a program that doesn’t prep the kind of kids you say you want to succeed for later success in your own program.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:. There is a lot of diversity in upper school student body and more financial aid students who are just excellent.

On this point - do they have more fin aid spots in the upper school than in the earlier grades? Or is it specifically for prep-for-prep students? And how do you know who the financial aid kids are?

The girls know and talk about the fin aid students in lower and middle, mainly because they themselves are so obsessed with katie j and stanley’s and who goes to what camp and who goes to what resort. It’s just in the culture.

There is a weird upper east side world of supper clubs and country clubs I had never heard of and won’t hear about after we leave. I think the older are more academic superstar types. I am not sure the ones who have been at the school have been as well educated and will do well against them. I don’t quite get the point of a program that doesn’t prep the kind of kids you say you want to succeed for later success in your own program.

My DD only went to SS for high school, but her friends’ tales of what middle school was like at the UES girls schools are fairly wild. Brutal stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:. There is a lot of diversity in upper school student body and more financial aid students who are just excellent.

On this point - do they have more fin aid spots in the upper school than in the earlier grades? Or is it specifically for prep-for-prep students? And how do you know who the financial aid kids are?

The girls know and talk about the fin aid students in lower and middle, mainly because they themselves are so obsessed with katie j and stanley’s and who goes to what camp and who goes to what resort. It’s just in the culture.

There is a weird upper east side world of supper clubs and country clubs I had never heard of and won’t hear about after we leave. I think the older are more academic superstar types. I am not sure the ones who have been at the school have been as well educated and will do well against them. I don’t quite get the point of a program that doesn’t prep the kind of kids you say you want to succeed for later success in your own program.

My DD only went to SS for high school, but her friends’ tales of what middle school was like at the UES girls schools are fairly wild. Brutal stuff.

Like what?

[Anonymous]

What are some of the schools that exmit to brearley for upper school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:. There is a lot of diversity in upper school student body and more financial aid students who are just excellent.

On this point - do they have more fin aid spots in the upper school than in the earlier grades? Or is it specifically for prep-for-prep students? And how do you know who the financial aid kids are?

Some of the financial aid students went through prep-for-prep but not all. Some of them talk about it openly and they are very comfortable about it. Some I guessed based on what the parents said about their background. They are confident and fit in just fine. I feel my daughter benefited from being around them.

Yes there are students who are interested in designer stuff (not Stanley Lululemon…), but overall much less than at our previous school. After all this school is academically vigorous so kids who stayed or kids who got in at middle/upper school have to be pretty good. The kids are genuinely interested in learning and have fun doing it, not just for grades.

We’ve done our research over the years and are glad we switched in upper school. We had multiple choices but felt Brearley fits our daughter the best. I chat with her about school almost every day and think the school is doing a good job teaching the kids how to learn and encouraging intellectual curiosity. My daughter reads a lot outside of school so I don’t feel strongly about what they read and the reading list looks fine to me.

To the parents who are nervous about K admissions, good luck but relax, as much as you are able. I was the kind that checked email continuously on decision day so I can relate. How your daughter grows up depends largely on how you engage with them, so school doesn’t determine everything. If you try to be open minded, keep your intellectual curiosity, and have decent social skills kids will learn from that.

K is really just the beginning. As your kids grow you will figure out what kind of school fit them better. We know many families who switched schools. Public to private, SS to co-ed, private to boarding school, private to private, and the other way around too. It’s not as hard as you think now.

Back to uptown girls school… Spence is actually more DEI heavy in my opinion. I value diversity but felt the way they talk about it is just so 5 years ago and not authentic or open, although they have strong research programs in upper school. Loved some of the teachers we met but not a fan of the new head or the DEI director. We also loved Chaplin a lot, the admin, teachers are all great and really care about the girls.

Your kids will do great if you support their learning and growth. If the school turns out not to be a good fit anymore you can always switch. We have excellent choices in NYC and the NE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kids will do great if you support their learning and growth. If the school turns out not to be a good fit anymore you can always switch. We have excellent choices in NYC and the NE.

1000x this. Also, don't discount the possibility of filling in gaps with tutoring and extracurriculars - even a really amazing school has a LOT of filler in the average day, you can learn a whole lot of math very quickly 1-on-1.

[Anonymous]

If you really love the high school, I’d suggest waiting until 8th. They aren’t doing a good job prepping the kids for success there K-8, and your kid will be happier and better adjusted in the meantime. Also, by then, whatever the new admin is going to be will be much more apparent and you can see if it has effected college placements. Right now, if you like the high school, Inthink waiting is the best bet. It might be a different place in 9 years, the middle school is so different from the school we applied into. The girls in my daugher’s class are the most materialistic kid I have ever met. It was very unexpected. It may even be because it’s a different generation of parents coming in (more millennials, less Gen X) who have different priorities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you really love the high school, I’d suggest waiting until 8th. They aren’t doing a good job prepping the kids for success there K-8, and your kid will be happier and better adjusted in the meantime. Also, by then, whatever the new admin is going to be will be much more apparent and you can see if it has effected college placements. Right now, if you like the high school, Inthink waiting is the best bet. It might be a different place in 9 years, the middle school is so different from the school we applied into. The girls in my daugher’s class are the most materialistic kid I have ever met. It was very unexpected. It may even be because it’s a different generation of parents coming in (more millennials, less Gen X) who have different priorities.

I think you should stop ragging on children on the internet. Even if you're mostly making a point about their parents, it's not a great look. In addition to your critiques about materialism, focus on stanleys and makeup, etc. (all of which may be true, but are about real kids, some of whom you know personally), you also referred to some as "superhuman snots or anxiety filled wrecks crippled with low self esteem by the end." Not great.