Is this annoying? Daughter’s bf always orders so much!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone seems to be missing what's rude here. They are in college, so he's an adult. How has this man eaten multiple restaurant meals at OP's house and not once offered to pay? High school I'd give him a pass. But college?

Why would he pay for the whole family ? College students are poor. what parent would even accept this offer?

[Anonymous]

I don't personally see anything wrong with his orders, but if he's eating over your house a lot, I think he should be bringing you something equivalent to a hostess gift every once in awhile. Or coming over to help shovel the ice and snow. Clearing your car. Somehow showing some reciprocity for your generosity.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it's rude. And you can set a boundary before ordering - I will buy entrees but if you guys want appetizers or desserts you are on your own for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, answer the question:

Why are you still gossiping about him when you have been given advice and even scripts about how to handle this, directly, once and for all?

Why are you still reading? OP was answering questions; you, on the other hand, have no such excuse.

No, actually,mOP has failed to answer this very simple question. Which is VERY telling.

Wait what question- why am I gossiping? Ummm I’m not? (Please google definition of gossip before replying thx)

You allegedly asked for a solution for him ordering out of bounds of what you deem acceptable.

The solutions and even scripts have been provided to you. Yet you do not acknowledge those solutions; you simply bash this young man, and seem to want everyone to join you in saying he is rude and clueless.

My question is: why? You have a solution. Why are you not simply implementing it, and moving on?

This.

I...didn’t ask for a solution. I asked if people thought it was rude. I followed up by posting actual examples to get more info. Why are you so invested in this? Do your kids do this when other people are buying?

[Anonymous]

OP is a combo between the witchy stepmother and the 2 asparagus spears per person nut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was camp OP first but now I have a question.
Is her DS happy about having to share his pizza with mom?
And what is a cinnamon pull apartment?!

Who eats an ENTIRE pizza by themselves?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also I noticed that with the pizza example DD started it (can we have appetizer etc etc)
Maybe he follows her cues and doesn’t realize that unlike her he is only tolerated there?

Bingo. Nailed it. If I was at a friends house, and parents were buying- I wouldn’t think - ok my bf is ordered an appetizer, so I’m going to get one too. I’d restrain myself bc I’m spending someone else’s money and he’s spending his family’s money. Do you and your children lack this self awareness?

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't personally see anything wrong with his orders, but if he's eating over your house a lot, I think he should be bringing you something equivalent to a hostess gift every once in awhile. Or coming over to help shovel the ice and snow. Clearing your car. Somehow showing some reciprocity for your generosity.

I agree with this. Unless you put parameters in place for the order, he is ordering what he wants. However he also should be thanking you in some way beyond just saying "thank you."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was camp OP first but now I have a question.
Is her DS happy about having to share his pizza with mom?
And what is a cinnamon pull apartment?!

Who eats an ENTIRE pizza by themselves?

Seriously. It’s evident from this thread why Americans are so fat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was camp OP first but now I have a question.
Is her DS happy about having to share his pizza with mom?
And what is a cinnamon pull apartment?!

Who eats an ENTIRE pizza by themselves?

OP's DD does, according to OP. So I assume these are not extra-large Pizza Hut Stuffed Crust pizzas.

[Anonymous]

Ok I’ll answer your question. It’s a bit rude but not nearly as rude in a young person as you seem to think and I think your ungracious hosting is more problematic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, answer the question:

Why are you still gossiping about him when you have been given advice and even scripts about how to handle this, directly, once and for all?

Why are you still reading? OP was answering questions; you, on the other hand, have no such excuse.

No, actually,mOP has failed to answer this very simple question. Which is VERY telling.

Wait what question- why am I gossiping? Ummm I’m not? (Please google definition of gossip before replying thx)

You allegedly asked for a solution for him ordering out of bounds of what you deem acceptable.

The solutions and even scripts have been provided to you. Yet you do not acknowledge those solutions; you simply bash this young man, and seem to want everyone to join you in saying he is rude and clueless.

My question is: why? You have a solution. Why are you not simply implementing it, and moving on?

This.

I...didn’t ask for a solution. I asked if people thought it was rude. I followed up by posting actual examples to get more info. Why are you so invested in this? Do your kids do this when other people are buying?

My kids are 7 and 5...so nope.

Solutions abound. You clearly just want to spend your time criticizing and gossiping about a young man. I hope you feel better and get a life of your own soon.

Maybe a weight loss and diet overhaul would better occupy your time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone seems to be missing what's rude here. They are in college, so he's an adult. How has this man eaten multiple restaurant meals at OP's house and not once offered to pay? High school I'd give him a pass. But college?

I wouldn't expect a college student to pay for their own meals nor my kids but he should know better at that age.

I wouldn't accept it, but I can afford it...and I still think it would be pretty rude not to offer. When we were dating, DH always offered to contribute to meals even though we were grad student who could barely afford rice and beans and my parents are UMC wealthy. They didn't accept, but it's good manners.

And I assume he hasn't offered to pay, because it would be a huge oversight on OP's part not to mention that. That being said, I think OP should address this with her DD. If the BF is hungrier than what they want to buy from a restaurant, the college-aged kids are capable of making pasta, salad, etc. I don't think it's fair for OP to have to do this, since it sounds like they are ordering takeout because they are busy and don't want to cook everyday.

[Anonymous]

OP, why not.talk to yout daughter ahead of time. Tell her what you told us. Tell her what you are willing to order.

[Anonymous]

Taco Bell, Pizza Hut, Chick-fil-a, Thai takeout...this is how you feed your family?