Families who can afford private but go public, why?

[Anonymous]

BTW, if anyone is interested in the general topic of whether the school reputation drives student success or whether more successful students simply select more reputable schools, this article in QJE (a great journal in economics) examined similar students who ended up attending more vs. less selective colleges to show that basically the effects of a high caliber college appear to be mostly attributable to the students in the college, not the college itself. I see no reason why this wouldn't be true for private or higher caliber high schools as well:

https://www.jstor.org/stable/4132484?seq=1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I personally feel that education is completely worth throwing money at.

So DC didn’t go to private I would probably be driving a Tesla.
But I feel the education is more important. So I drive a Honda.

Like someone wrote here previously, it’s about values and priorities.

Again, thread not about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:BTW, if anyone is interested in the general topic of whether the school reputation drives student success or whether more successful students simply select more reputable schools, this article in QJE (a great journal in economics) examined similar students who ended up attending more vs. less selective colleges to show that basically the effects of a high caliber college appear to be mostly attributable to the students in the college, not the college itself. I see no reason why this wouldn't be true for private or higher caliber high schools as well:

https://www.jstor.org/stable/4132484?seq=1

I agree with this. I've always thought that the TJ students would be just as smart at their base schools. Smart is smart. They do get opportunities at TJ they might not get at base school--but, they also miss opportunities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It makes people feel bad that they can’t give their children the best. That’s why they lash out.
Whatever. Most kids are fine in public.

This is the attitude that is repugnant and may be why you experiencing "lashing out"--the idea that there is a universal "best" in these options. And this thread is about people who can afford private but don't choose to, so obviously it's not about the case of whether they can give their kids a private school education, but rather whether they think it's the better option. We came to a view that public is "the best" for us--not on the basis of finances-- but wouldn't impose that view on others.

And some people value education above all else. Some think it’s a waste of money.
Everyone is different.

And some don’t agree that valuing education = private school. Including many of us who went to them.

So don’t send your kid to your old school. I suppose you don’t paint everything with the same brush?
Look, I think public school can be great, but let’s not pretend this isn’t about a tit for tat amongst the 1%.
It’s more than a little rich to read posts smugly mentioning their GS10 school zone, and all the travel and enrichment they can provide. Nothing irks those posters more than the neighbors that also bought in the same (or nicer) neighborhood, do all of the travel and enrichment, AND easily throw down another 40k for private school.
Ya gotta spend your money on something. Some people can just spend on everything.

DP. This thread is about the people who CAN afford to send them wherever they want, and still choose public. Money is not a variable in this discussion.

Except it is. Upthread a poster is talking about choosing between travel and private. It just seems to never really boil down to being able to easily do it and choosing not.
Those that truly don’t have to make any sort of sacrifice, don’t seem to choose public.

Yeah and that same poster says they make 850k. Pretty sure that means they can afford both.

She seems to think only special needs kids need private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It makes people feel bad that they can’t give their children the best. That’s why they lash out.
Whatever. Most kids are fine in public.

This is the attitude that is repugnant and may be why you experiencing "lashing out"--the idea that there is a universal "best" in these options. And this thread is about people who can afford private but don't choose to, so obviously it's not about the case of whether they can give their kids a private school education, but rather whether they think it's the better option. We came to a view that public is "the best" for us--not on the basis of finances-- but wouldn't impose that view on others.

And some people value education above all else. Some think it’s a waste of money.
Everyone is different.

Well, as long as you are not implying that choosing private means you value education above else, whereas someone who chooses public doesn't share that priority. We choose public and I would say I value education very highly. I have a PhD so I've clearly invested time, money and effort in my own education. I spend considerable thought and energy on my children's education. We could easily afford private. Additionally, I have relatives that would happily and easily fully fund a private education for our kids (and have done so for my siblings' kids who prefer private). I have decided--with care and deep value for education and ample resources to choose--that public is a better educational environment for my children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BTW, if anyone is interested in the general topic of whether the school reputation drives student success or whether more successful students simply select more reputable schools, this article in QJE (a great journal in economics) examined similar students who ended up attending more vs. less selective colleges to show that basically the effects of a high caliber college appear to be mostly attributable to the students in the college, not the college itself. I see no reason why this wouldn't be true for private or higher caliber high schools as well:

https://www.jstor.org/stable/4132484?seq=1

I agree with this. I've always thought that the TJ students would be just as smart at their base schools. Smart is smart. They do get opportunities at TJ they might not get at base school--but, they also miss opportunities.

Very true. Just like there are tons of kids at home schools as smart as TJ kids. They for many reasons have decided not go go the TJ route. I had two that got in both choose to not go. Graduated from Ivies , graduate school as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It makes people feel bad that they can’t give their children the best. That’s why they lash out.
Whatever. Most kids are fine in public.

This is the attitude that is repugnant and may be why you experiencing "lashing out"--the idea that there is a universal "best" in these options. And this thread is about people who can afford private but don't choose to, so obviously it's not about the case of whether they can give their kids a private school education, but rather whether they think it's the better option. We came to a view that public is "the best" for us--not on the basis of finances-- but wouldn't impose that view on others.

And some people value education above all else. Some think it’s a waste of money.
Everyone is different.

Well, as long as you are not implying that choosing private means you value education above else, whereas someone who chooses public doesn't share that priority. We choose public and I would say I value education very highly. I have a PhD so I've clearly invested time, money and effort in my own education. I spend considerable thought and energy on my children's education. We could easily afford private. Additionally, I have relatives that would happily and easily fully fund a private education for our kids (and have done so for my siblings' kids who prefer private). I have decided--with care and deep value for education and ample resources to choose--that public is a better educational environment for my children.

I’m going to take a wild guess - GS10 school full of kids whose parents also can afford private but chose that high school. I would guess if the choice was between an average public school with a 30-40 percent FRL rate and a private school you’d have chosen the latter. What I’m getting at is that the public vs private distinction, at least as discussed in this thread, is meaningless. The “choice” here is between the best public high schools in the area, and privates. It makes wealthy people feel good and normal to say they support public education but really they only a certain kind of public school, the “good enough” kind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It makes people feel bad that they can’t give their children the best. That’s why they lash out.
Whatever. Most kids are fine in public.

This is the attitude that is repugnant and may be why you experiencing "lashing out"--the idea that there is a universal "best" in these options. And this thread is about people who can afford private but don't choose to, so obviously it's not about the case of whether they can give their kids a private school education, but rather whether they think it's the better option. We came to a view that public is "the best" for us--not on the basis of finances-- but wouldn't impose that view on others.

And some people value education above all else. Some think it’s a waste of money.
Everyone is different.

And some don’t agree that valuing education = private school. Including many of us who went to them.

So don’t send your kid to your old school. I suppose you don’t paint everything with the same brush?
Look, I think public school can be great, but let’s not pretend this isn’t about a tit for tat amongst the 1%.
It’s more than a little rich to read posts smugly mentioning their GS10 school zone, and all the travel and enrichment they can provide. Nothing irks those posters more than the neighbors that also bought in the same (or nicer) neighborhood, do all of the travel and enrichment, AND easily throw down another 40k for private school.
Ya gotta spend your money on something. Some people can just spend on everything.

DP. This thread is about the people who CAN afford to send them wherever they want, and still choose public. Money is not a variable in this discussion.

The answer to it seems to be, “because we can afford the best public school district, and we think it’s superior to any private.” It is about money. No one has said, “we can afford Sidwell but figured, nah, let’s send the kids to a 60% FRL high school.”

Nah, it's not about being the best public school district. Some people may be, but I'm not. It's just that school doesn't really affect life outcomes very much. My parents actually did send me to a 50% FRL (assuming that means subsidized lunch folks) high school even though they could have afforded the equivalent of sidwell (different state) and I still ended up with an ivy league phd. I don't know that I'd be comfortable with THAT level of discrepancy simply because poor kids create more violence and disruptions in the school, as I have experienced first hand. But to say that this is merely a choice between the tippy top publics and private is false. I'm fine with an above average public because I don't believe there is a meaningful benefit to private over an above average public. And that's assuming we are talking about a top private. If it's an average private, there's not even a point in talking about it.

I had the same feeling about many private schools. But I'm still curious, why in the world are people paying 20-40k per child, or even more for their kids to attend an average private? What drove them to that type of decision? Is it just those amounts of money are so little to them that they don't mind handing it over in this area? Or is that those schools do such a good job selling their services that they've got it figured out to a science as to how to get well off people to (in many cases unnecessarily) pay that much for a school nobody has even heard of? What could make it worth it? With that much yearly cash on hand, someone could hire multiple high end private tutors to come and teach any subject or art that a kid would possibly want to learn in the comfort of their own home..

So--I'll bite. My husband and I are public school products that did very well. Our kids have been (and will be) public school products K-8. What was the tipping point was how our County has gotten worse and worse and more crowded since our oldest started K way back in 2007. We saw a difference when the elementary;/MS started using iPads for almost everything, when the SOLS became the barometer for what the children were learning--and if it wasn't on the SOLs it wasn't important. We saw a decline in the number of essays or papers are youngest children have to write in comparison to our oldest. Teachers do not have the time to grade the written word and there was less attention to grammar. I got increasingly fed up with all of the focus groups and info sessions with ZERO action as our kids sat in trailers. As an area public school kid I am not as highly impressed as people that come from other areas and rave on and on about ''the schools". My children get straight As, in the highest level courses--HS in MS and, frankly, I have never seen them work or even study. Add in, we never raised our kids in religion or our faith and we would like them to have a deeper understanding of religion (whether they practice it or not) because, to me, that is part of a well-rounded education. I am sick of the bureaucracy of the County.

We can afford private. It was something I used to swear I would ever spend $ on because I thought it was unnecessary. I changed my mind over the past few years. My kids do very well in all subjects---STEM as well as liberal arts, etc. They test very high. I have no idea what they will want to do or major in down the road. I do know that they better by able to write well, no matter the field. I am a STEM professional that spends 95% of my time writing. I decided not to go into the lab/research.

So that, in a nutshell (and not paying attention to grammar/punctuation as I write this), is how I ended up here when I thought I would never pay for private. Also, we bought in a very good school pyramid--but we bought more for the location/walkability and amenities more than just the public schools. They were part of the package. I think in the deep recesses of my mind--private HS was always a possibility because it was something neither of our parents could afford, but we can without sacrificing other things. I think a very good education is possible at our HS, but I want more focus on certain elements lacking and a smaller environment.

Fair and valid reasons. I’m fed up with APS too, not sure if I want to foot the bill for private. Maybe by the time my kids get to HS I’ll have had my share. Maybe that’s how APS plans to manage the HS seat crisis—attrition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It makes people feel bad that they can’t give their children the best. That’s why they lash out.
Whatever. Most kids are fine in public.

This is the attitude that is repugnant and may be why you experiencing "lashing out"--the idea that there is a universal "best" in these options. And this thread is about people who can afford private but don't choose to, so obviously it's not about the case of whether they can give their kids a private school education, but rather whether they think it's the better option. We came to a view that public is "the best" for us--not on the basis of finances-- but wouldn't impose that view on others.

And some people value education above all else. Some think it’s a waste of money.
Everyone is different.

And some don’t agree that valuing education = private school. Including many of us who went to them.

So don’t send your kid to your old school. I suppose you don’t paint everything with the same brush?
Look, I think public school can be great, but let’s not pretend this isn’t about a tit for tat amongst the 1%.
It’s more than a little rich to read posts smugly mentioning their GS10 school zone, and all the travel and enrichment they can provide. Nothing irks those posters more than the neighbors that also bought in the same (or nicer) neighborhood, do all of the travel and enrichment, AND easily throw down another 40k for private school.
Ya gotta spend your money on something. Some people can just spend on everything.

DP. This thread is about the people who CAN afford to send them wherever they want, and still choose public. Money is not a variable in this discussion.

The answer to it seems to be, “because we can afford the best public school district, and we think it’s superior to any private.” It is about money. No one has said, “we can afford Sidwell but figured, nah, let’s send the kids to a 60% FRL high school.”

Nah, it's not about being the best public school district. Some people may be, but I'm not. It's just that school doesn't really affect life outcomes very much. My parents actually did send me to a 50% FRL (assuming that means subsidized lunch folks) high school even though they could have afforded the equivalent of sidwell (different state) and I still ended up with an ivy league phd. I don't know that I'd be comfortable with THAT level of discrepancy simply because poor kids create more violence and disruptions in the school, as I have experienced first hand. But to say that this is merely a choice between the tippy top publics and private is false. I'm fine with an above average public because I don't believe there is a meaningful benefit to private over an above average public. And that's assuming we are talking about a top private. If it's an average private, there's not even a point in talking about it.

I had the same feeling about many private schools. But I'm still curious, why in the world are people paying 20-40k per child, or even more for their kids to attend an average private? What drove them to that type of decision? Is it just those amounts of money are so little to them that they don't mind handing it over in this area? Or is that those schools do such a good job selling their services that they've got it figured out to a science as to how to get well off people to (in many cases unnecessarily) pay that much for a school nobody has even heard of? What could make it worth it? With that much yearly cash on hand, someone could hire multiple high end private tutors to come and teach any subject or art that a kid would possibly want to learn in the comfort of their own home..

So--I'll bite. My husband and I are public school products that did very well. Our kids have been (and will be) public school products K-8. What was the tipping point was how our County has gotten worse and worse and more crowded since our oldest started K way back in 2007. We saw a difference when the elementary;/MS started using iPads for almost everything, when the SOLS became the barometer for what the children were learning--and if it wasn't on the SOLs it wasn't important. We saw a decline in the number of essays or papers are youngest children have to write in comparison to our oldest. Teachers do not have the time to grade the written word and there was less attention to grammar. I got increasingly fed up with all of the focus groups and info sessions with ZERO action as our kids sat in trailers. As an area public school kid I am not as highly impressed as people that come from other areas and rave on and on about ''the schools". My children get straight As, in the highest level courses--HS in MS and, frankly, I have never seen them work or even study. Add in, we never raised our kids in religion or our faith and we would like them to have a deeper understanding of religion (whether they practice it or not) because, to me, that is part of a well-rounded education. I am sick of the bureaucracy of the County.

We can afford private. It was something I used to swear I would ever spend $ on because I thought it was unnecessary. I changed my mind over the past few years. My kids do very well in all subjects---STEM as well as liberal arts, etc. They test very high. I have no idea what they will want to do or major in down the road. I do know that they better by able to write well, no matter the field. I am a STEM professional that spends 95% of my time writing. I decided not to go into the lab/research.

So that, in a nutshell (and not paying attention to grammar/punctuation as I write this), is how I ended up here when I thought I would never pay for private. Also, we bought in a very good school pyramid--but we bought more for the location/walkability and amenities more than just the public schools. They were part of the package. I think in the deep recesses of my mind--private HS was always a possibility because it was something neither of our parents could afford, but we can without sacrificing other things. I think a very good education is possible at our HS, but I want more focus on certain elements lacking and a smaller environment.

Fair and valid reasons. I’m fed up with APS too, not sure if I want to foot the bill for private. Maybe by the time my kids get to HS I’ll have had my share. Maybe that’s how APS plans to manage the HS seat crisis—attrition.

Yup, once they announce split shifts for high school, private will suddenly look a lot better

[Anonymous]

^ they were also seriously contemplating online HS classes in addition to the split shifts to deal with the looming population crisis. No way in hell for either of those.

My oldest is getting out next year and younger sibling will follow in 2 years. I didn’t want to be left with zero options so we are doing private HS.

[Anonymous]

It’s just not worth it. We are wealthy enough to be able to afford it without any significant sacrifice, but not so rich that spending $1M+ on education would be meaningless to us financially.

In my view, any marginal benefit to private just isn’t worth the tremendous cost. In my view, there are pros and cons to public and private and, although we strongly value education, I don’t believe that means we should entirely disregard the value proposition when deciding whether to do private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s just not worth it. We are wealthy enough to be able to afford it without any significant sacrifice, but not so rich that spending $1M+ on education would be meaningless to us financially.

In my view, any marginal benefit to private just isn’t worth the tremendous cost. In my view, there are pros and cons to public and private and, although we strongly value education, I don’t believe that means we should entirely disregard the value proposition when deciding whether to do private.

Is it “tremendous”? What kind of money are we talking here, since people will drop 1.3 to live in a “good” zone but could spend half that to live in an “average” one. Is private school tuition really half a mil?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s just not worth it. We are wealthy enough to be able to afford it without any significant sacrifice, but not so rich that spending $1M+ on education would be meaningless to us financially.

In my view, any marginal benefit to private just isn’t worth the tremendous cost. In my view, there are pros and cons to public and private and, although we strongly value education, I don’t believe that means we should entirely disregard the value proposition when deciding whether to do private.

Avoiding split HS shifts and having to take online classes from your top-rated public HS is definitely worth private HS tuition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s just not worth it. We are wealthy enough to be able to afford it without any significant sacrifice, but not so rich that spending $1M+ on education would be meaningless to us financially.

In my view, any marginal benefit to private just isn’t worth the tremendous cost. In my view, there are pros and cons to public and private and, although we strongly value education, I don’t believe that means we should entirely disregard the value proposition when deciding whether to do private.

Is it “tremendous”? What kind of money are we talking here, since people will drop 1.3 to live in a “good” zone but could spend half that to live in an “average” one. Is private school tuition really half a mil?

Those numbers are off. More importantly, you ignore that you get a house to live in and have an asset you can then sell. You don’t get that with private school. $1M+ v free (zero marginal cost given taxes) is a tremendous expense.

[Anonymous]

I’m a big advocate of public schools when they’re good, like the Montgomery County schools. Public schools are typically more diverse and expose kids to richer learning environments and ideas that may challenge their worldview. But every child is different and some undoubtedly thrive better in smaller classes and schools with certain philosophies.