Is admiring the vibe of private students a shallow motivation for sending our children to private?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know exactly what you are taking about, OP. Its not coolness though. It is a trait that you know when you see it. And yes, its real and it does last into adulthood. Public school kids, no matter how rich or how worldly or privileged, never quite have it. Its a trait that is obvious to people who know what it but its almost impossible to put into words. I went to a small wealthy public for high school and a small private for college. I have observed it my whole life.

nailed it

This is such a gross DC thread. I’m from DC, grew up in DC, left for the west coast years ago.
This attitude you have is so provincial and particular to DC, and the South probably as well. It feels so outdated in 2019 but I guess some things never change in DC!

I grew up wealthy in DC, went to private HS, small private college, grew up with and now own a beach house where we "summer" and the posters on this thread sound like a bunch of nouveau riche wannabes. There is a whole world out there that wants nothing to do with uninteresting losers like yourselves.

You haven’t noticed that private school in DC is all about new money these days? Half of my class from SFS is going public.

This. You have to be dumb or new money to spend $50k a year on elementary school. If you attended private school you realize even more how it’s not worth it.

This is absolutely true.
- another SFS alum

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Entitlement.

I went to a fancy private school. While I don't think it's exactly "entitlement", that's the best word I can come up with. A critical component of my education was being told that I could do anything, and I belonged everywhere. The education itself was great, but the idea that I was "good enough" for anything was the most valuable thing my schooling imparted to me. I have never once wondered whether I belonged in a room or a meeting. Even when, literally, meeting the POTUS. Personally, I think everyone should be taught that they are as worthy as anyone else. I don't think private school kids or rich people are anything special. But most people are taught to "know their place". And the best gift I've ever been given was the knowledge that my "place" was anywhere I wanted it to be.

thanks for expressing it this way. this is what i hope my kids feel. I don't think private is the only way to achieve it, but this is it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Entitlement.

I went to a fancy private school. While I don't think it's exactly "entitlement", that's the best word I can come up with. A critical component of my education was being told that I could do anything, and I belonged everywhere. The education itself was great, but the idea that I was "good enough" for anything was the most valuable thing my schooling imparted to me. I have never once wondered whether I belonged in a room or a meeting. Even when, literally, meeting the POTUS. Personally, I think everyone should be taught that they are as worthy as anyone else. I don't think private school kids or rich people are anything special. But most people are taught to "know their place". And the best gift I've ever been given was the knowledge that my "place" was anywhere I wanted it to be.

thanks for expressing it this way. this is what i hope my kids feel. I don't think private is the only way to achieve it, but this is it.

We as parents can also teach this feeling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you state out loud what others think.

Whether it’s their basic social graces (firm handshake, look in the eye when talking to you), preppier manner of dress, confidence without arrogance, an easy smile with a natural warmth, yes, there is something to your observation.

So I can save $500k by teaching my kid to shake hands and look you in the eye, while sending him to public? Good to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know exactly what you are taking about, OP. Its not coolness though. It is a trait that you know when you see it. And yes, its real and it does last into adulthood. Public school kids, no matter how rich or how worldly or privileged, never quite have it. Its a trait that is obvious to people who know what it but its almost impossible to put into words. I went to a small wealthy public for high school and a small private for college. I have observed it my whole life.

nailed it

This is such a gross DC thread. I’m from DC, grew up in DC, left for the west coast years ago.
This attitude you have is so provincial and particular to DC, and the South probably as well. It feels so outdated in 2019 but I guess some things never change in DC!

I grew up wealthy in DC, went to private HS, small private college, grew up with and now own a beach house where we "summer" and the posters on this thread sound like a bunch of nouveau riche wannabes. There is a whole world out there that wants nothing to do with uninteresting losers like yourselves.

You haven’t noticed that private school in DC is all about new money these days? Half of my class from SFS is going public.

This. You have to be dumb or new money to spend $50k a year on elementary school. If you attended private school you realize even more how it’s not worth it.

This is absolutely true.
- another SFS alum

This is so entitled. It must be easy to judge how worthless your ridiculously privileged education was when you didn't have to spend 13 years of your life at a crappy school. There are a lot of wonderful public schools, but acting like you have this superior knowledge about the worth of one of the best private schools in the country is so gross. Take a few minutes to consider that you have no idea what it is like to sit like a zombie through your classes, to never have any homework, to grade your peers' tests because the teacher is too lazy, to show up for college woefully unprepared. Criticizing "new money" parents (code:earned it themselves) for wanting something different for their own children is the height of obnoxious superiority. The prospect of my children growing up to be ungrateful know-it-alls is the ONLY hesitation I ever have about sending my kids to private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know exactly what you are taking about, OP. Its not coolness though. It is a trait that you know when you see it. And yes, its real and it does last into adulthood. Public school kids, no matter how rich or how worldly or privileged, never quite have it. Its a trait that is obvious to people who know what it but its almost impossible to put into words. I went to a small wealthy public for high school and a small private for college. I have observed it my whole life.

nailed it

This is such a gross DC thread. I’m from DC, grew up in DC, left for the west coast years ago.
This attitude you have is so provincial and particular to DC, and the South probably as well. It feels so outdated in 2019 but I guess some things never change in DC!

I grew up wealthy in DC, went to private HS, small private college, grew up with and now own a beach house where we "summer" and the posters on this thread sound like a bunch of nouveau riche wannabes. There is a whole world out there that wants nothing to do with uninteresting losers like yourselves.

You haven’t noticed that private school in DC is all about new money these days? Half of my class from SFS is going public.

This. You have to be dumb or new money to spend $50k a year on elementary school. If you attended private school you realize even more how it’s not worth it.

This is absolutely true.
- another SFS alum

This is so entitled. It must be easy to judge how worthless your ridiculously privileged education was when you didn't have to spend 13 years of your life at a crappy school. There are a lot of wonderful public schools, but acting like you have this superior knowledge about the worth of one of the best private schools in the country is so gross. Take a few minutes to consider that you have no idea what it is like to sit like a zombie through your classes, to never have any homework, to grade your peers' tests because the teacher is too lazy, to show up for college woefully unprepared. Criticizing "new money" parents (code:earned it themselves) for wanting something different for their own children is the height of obnoxious superiority. The prospect of my children growing up to be ungrateful know-it-alls is the ONLY hesitation I ever have about sending my kids to private.

+1.

“I’m so special to have graduated from sidwell and think it was totally overrated. Sorry you lower-rung people who worked hard can’t see how *over it* you should be.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know exactly what you are taking about, OP. Its not coolness though. It is a trait that you know when you see it. And yes, its real and it does last into adulthood. Public school kids, no matter how rich or how worldly or privileged, never quite have it. Its a trait that is obvious to people who know what it but its almost impossible to put into words. I went to a small wealthy public for high school and a small private for college. I have observed it my whole life.

nailed it

This is such a gross DC thread. I’m from DC, grew up in DC, left for the west coast years ago.
This attitude you have is so provincial and particular to DC, and the South probably as well. It feels so outdated in 2019 but I guess some things never change in DC!

I grew up wealthy in DC, went to private HS, small private college, grew up with and now own a beach house where we "summer" and the posters on this thread sound like a bunch of nouveau riche wannabes. There is a whole world out there that wants nothing to do with uninteresting losers like yourselves.

You haven’t noticed that private school in DC is all about new money these days? Half of my class from SFS is going public.

This. You have to be dumb or new money to spend $50k a year on elementary school. If you attended private school you realize even more how it’s not worth it.

This is absolutely true.
- another SFS alum

This is so entitled. It must be easy to judge how worthless your ridiculously privileged education was when you didn't have to spend 13 years of your life at a crappy school. There are a lot of wonderful public schools, but acting like you have this superior knowledge about the worth of one of the best private schools in the country is so gross. Take a few minutes to consider that you have no idea what it is like to sit like a zombie through your classes, to never have any homework, to grade your peers' tests because the teacher is too lazy, to show up for college woefully unprepared. Criticizing "new money" parents (code:earned it themselves) for wanting something different for their own children is the height of obnoxious superiority. The prospect of my children growing up to be ungrateful know-it-alls is the ONLY hesitation I ever have about sending my kids to private.

Disagree that it’s entitled. If OP has life experience in both - attending a private and then maybe sending their own kid elsewhere - wouldn’t that put them in a reasonable position to have an opinion on how different (or not) the school experiences are?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know exactly what you are taking about, OP. Its not coolness though. It is a trait that you know when you see it. And yes, its real and it does last into adulthood. Public school kids, no matter how rich or how worldly or privileged, never quite have it. Its a trait that is obvious to people who know what it but its almost impossible to put into words. I went to a small wealthy public for high school and a small private for college. I have observed it my whole life.

nailed it

This is such a gross DC thread. I’m from DC, grew up in DC, left for the west coast years ago.
This attitude you have is so provincial and particular to DC, and the South probably as well. It feels so outdated in 2019 but I guess some things never change in DC!

I grew up wealthy in DC, went to private HS, small private college, grew up with and now own a beach house where we "summer" and the posters on this thread sound like a bunch of nouveau riche wannabes. There is a whole world out there that wants nothing to do with uninteresting losers like yourselves.

You haven’t noticed that private school in DC is all about new money these days? Half of my class from SFS is going public.

This. You have to be dumb or new money to spend $50k a year on elementary school. If you attended private school you realize even more how it’s not worth it.

This is absolutely true.
- another SFS alum

This is so entitled. It must be easy to judge how worthless your ridiculously privileged education was when you didn't have to spend 13 years of your life at a crappy school. There are a lot of wonderful public schools, but acting like you have this superior knowledge about the worth of one of the best private schools in the country is so gross. Take a few minutes to consider that you have no idea what it is like to sit like a zombie through your classes, to never have any homework, to grade your peers' tests because the teacher is too lazy, to show up for college woefully unprepared. Criticizing "new money" parents (code:earned it themselves) for wanting something different for their own children is the height of obnoxious superiority. The prospect of my children growing up to be ungrateful know-it-alls is the ONLY hesitation I ever have about sending my kids to private.

Disagree that it’s entitled. If OP has life experience in both - attending a private and then maybe sending their own kid elsewhere - wouldn’t that put them in a reasonable position to have an opinion on how different (or not) the school experiences are?

I attended private and sent my kids public, and I totally agree that the PP comes across as an entitled douchebag. I agree that I would never, ever want my kids to turn out like that poster. Ugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know exactly what you are taking about, OP. Its not coolness though. It is a trait that you know when you see it. And yes, its real and it does last into adulthood. Public school kids, no matter how rich or how worldly or privileged, never quite have it. Its a trait that is obvious to people who know what it but its almost impossible to put into words. I went to a small wealthy public for high school and a small private for college. I have observed it my whole life.

nailed it

This is such a gross DC thread. I’m from DC, grew up in DC, left for the west coast years ago.
This attitude you have is so provincial and particular to DC, and the South probably as well. It feels so outdated in 2019 but I guess some things never change in DC!

I grew up wealthy in DC, went to private HS, small private college, grew up with and now own a beach house where we "summer" and the posters on this thread sound like a bunch of nouveau riche wannabes. There is a whole world out there that wants nothing to do with uninteresting losers like yourselves.

You haven’t noticed that private school in DC is all about new money these days? Half of my class from SFS is going public.

This. You have to be dumb or new money to spend $50k a year on elementary school. If you attended private school you realize even more how it’s not worth it.

This is absolutely true.
- another SFS alum

This is so entitled. It must be easy to judge how worthless your ridiculously privileged education was when you didn't have to spend 13 years of your life at a crappy school. There are a lot of wonderful public schools, but acting like you have this superior knowledge about the worth of one of the best private schools in the country is so gross. Take a few minutes to consider that you have no idea what it is like to sit like a zombie through your classes, to never have any homework, to grade your peers' tests because the teacher is too lazy, to show up for college woefully unprepared. Criticizing "new money" parents (code:earned it themselves) for wanting something different for their own children is the height of obnoxious superiority. The prospect of my children growing up to be ungrateful know-it-alls is the ONLY hesitation I ever have about sending my kids to private.

+1.

“I’m so special to have graduated from sidwell and think it was totally overrated. Sorry you lower-rung people who worked hard can’t see how *over it* you should be.”

So true! I went to private in NYC and no one I knew there would talk like this. Not everyone loved the school but we knew how privileged we were and the school itself made sure we didn’t take it for granted. FWIW our kids, who moved to private from public for HS, also how privileged they are because we give them that message at home plus they can make the comparison themselves. I don’t get a sense that the school makes a point of it, though.

[Anonymous]

^ I should add that our kids’ public MS was really not great so the differences were more significant than they would have been elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

DH has 3 siblings and lots of nephews and nieces. It’s pretty obvious at family gatherings who went to a school in red neck woods and who grew up in professor’s family. DD is in private and she stands out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH has 3 siblings and lots of nephews and nieces. It’s pretty obvious at family gatherings who went to a school in red neck woods and who grew up in professor’s family. DD is in private and she stands out.

That would be obvious whether your dd went to private or not. Much of the behavior is because of family enforcement / reinforcement, not the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Entitlement.

I went to a fancy private school. While I don't think it's exactly "entitlement", that's the best word I can come up with. A critical component of my education was being told that I could do anything, and I belonged everywhere. The education itself was great, but the idea that I was "good enough" for anything was the most valuable thing my schooling imparted to me. I have never once wondered whether I belonged in a room or a meeting. Even when, literally, meeting the POTUS. Personally, I think everyone should be taught that they are as worthy as anyone else. I don't think private school kids or rich people are anything special. But most people are taught to "know their place". And the best gift I've ever been given was the knowledge that my "place" was anywhere I wanted it to be.

I want my kid to feel like this, except wth common sense. Where do I send him to school for that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know exactly what you are taking about, OP. Its not coolness though. It is a trait that you know when you see it. And yes, its real and it does last into adulthood. Public school kids, no matter how rich or how worldly or privileged, never quite have it. Its a trait that is obvious to people who know what it but its almost impossible to put into words. I went to a small wealthy public for high school and a small private for college. I have observed it my whole life.

nailed it

This is such a gross DC thread. I’m from DC, grew up in DC, left for the west coast years ago.
This attitude you have is so provincial and particular to DC, and the South probably as well. It feels so outdated in 2019 but I guess some things never change in DC!

I grew up wealthy in DC, went to private HS, small private college, grew up with and now own a beach house where we "summer" and the posters on this thread sound like a bunch of nouveau riche wannabes. There is a whole world out there that wants nothing to do with uninteresting losers like yourselves.

You haven’t noticed that private school in DC is all about new money these days? Half of my class from SFS is going public.

This. You have to be dumb or new money to spend $50k a year on elementary school. If you attended private school you realize even more how it’s not worth it.

This is absolutely true.
- another SFS alum

This is so entitled. It must be easy to judge how worthless your ridiculously privileged education was when you didn't have to spend 13 years of your life at a crappy school. There are a lot of wonderful public schools, but acting like you have this superior knowledge about the worth of one of the best private schools in the country is so gross. Take a few minutes to consider that you have no idea what it is like to sit like a zombie through your classes, to never have any homework, to grade your peers' tests because the teacher is too lazy, to show up for college woefully unprepared. Criticizing "new money" parents (code:earned it themselves) for wanting something different for their own children is the height of obnoxious superiority. The prospect of my children growing up to be ungrateful know-it-alls is the ONLY hesitation I ever have about sending my kids to private.

+1.

“I’m so special to have graduated from sidwell and think it was totally overrated. Sorry you lower-rung people who worked hard can’t see how *over it* you should be.”

So true! I went to private in NYC and no one I knew there would talk like this. Not everyone loved the school but we knew how privileged we were and the school itself made sure we didn’t take it for granted. FWIW our kids, who moved to private from public for HS, also how privileged they are because we give them that message at home plus they can make the comparison themselves. I don’t get a sense that the school makes a point of it, though.

It’s doubly gross because the person also seems to forget that their private school education led to better opportunities and what amounts to public privates for their own children.

[Anonymous]

It seems public school parents are very defensive.