No one eats in this house

[Anonymous]

I don't usually sneak the food to my IL, but I always bring a bag of fresh apples, pears, oranges (or whatever berries in season). IL usually do have food in the fridge, but they don't cook and I don't feel comfortable cooking in their house all the time. I would get up and make a pot of oatmeal or omelette for the entire crowd in the morning, but would not cook three meals every day. So having fresh fruits on the counter helped us a lot with snacks or lunch substitutes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

So today.

No breakfast offered or made and again you can't just help yourself. Ok fine, at least there was coffee. We go out to lunch at 1pm and DH said something just now about dinner and mil an chime in "oh no, we don't need any food after that lunch. We will all be fine".

So guess there isn't any dinner tonight. At least I have a heads up today

So at 6 or 7 or whenever you and DH normally eat, you get up and say "we're headed out to grab some dinner. I know you both said you're fine without dinner bc you ate lunch, but we eat 3 meals a day. See you later." Go out. And bring back leftovers and/or order another entrée to bring home -- that way if you want a snack or there's no lunch tomorrow bc you ate lunch AND dinner today, you at least have a meal on hand. And how many days are you staying with your ILs??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

So today.

No breakfast offered or made and again you can't just help yourself. Ok fine, at least there was coffee. We go out to lunch at 1pm and DH said something just now about dinner and mil an chime in "oh no, we don't need any food after that lunch. We will all be fine".

So guess there isn't any dinner tonight. At least I have a heads up today

What is your DH's relationship with his parents like? Why does he put up with this unreasonable behavior?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I learned to take non-noisy food after my first visit to his parent's house. He even warned me that "my parents are kind of weird about food" but I was NOT prepared. What he should have said was "since both parents are huge marathoners and health nuts, they either eat air & water or tons of pasta with butter, depending on the day."

The first full day there, breakfast was black coffee (no cream or sugar in the house) and two very soft boiled eggs. I'm allergic to eggs and can only eat 100% hard boiled or else I break out in hives. I explained this to my future FIL who then proceeded to lecture me about how food allergies weren't real and the best cure to bombard my body with the offending food until it accepted it. Like, for real. Peanut allergy? Blasphemy! Eat this tub of peanut butter until you can't breathe and you'll be cured!

Lunch that day was a wedge salad, but not the yummy kind with bacon and blue cheese. No, it was a head of iceberg lettuce cut into 4 wedges and then sprinkled with oil & vinegar and salt & pepper. Dinner was a chicken breast each, 1c of steamed broccoli each, and a 1/2c brown rice each. Like, literally, portioned out. There were no seconds or leftovers.

I told my fiance that we needed to borrow his parent's car and run a fake errand because I had passed the hangry mark 2 hours prior. We hit up McDonald's and then I grabbed a bunch of snacks from the grocery store.

Unfortunately, I didn't factor in the "noise" associated with the food items I bought and was quickly found out. "I heard a crunching sound from your room. Do you have chips in there? We don't allow chips in our home or food in the bedrooms." I felt like a scolded child and my chips were confiscated. I cried. It was bad.

Now I buy my snacks before we arrive and take them out of their noisy wrappers and put them in ziploc bags. No more chips, though. Last time I was there, I had a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter in my suitcase and would eat illegal sandwiches in my room.

What complete a**holes. I have never typed that before on DCUM. Are you married yet? Did your fiancee stand up to his parents for treating you so poorly? I would never visit them again. I might not even invite them to our wedding. What truly selfish people, to not consider that you don't eat exactly like them and most importantly have a severe food allergy. Why did your fiancee not insist on a hotel?

Yes, we're married. I've learned their being "weird about food" is basically a cover up for two people with disordered eating finding each other. I have no idea how he survived growing up with them, that's for sure. He said to him it was normal, so he didn't realize other kids got sugar cereal for breakfast or got to have cake other than on their birthday until he was a teen and by then he was able to sneak and buy his own food when out and away from them. I still think it's a sad way to grow up.

Unfortunately, they live way, waaaaaay out in the country where the nearest hotel is around 45 mins. away. Even the nearest town is 30 mins. away and it's so small that there's no hotel or B&B in it.

Do you all have kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

So today.

No breakfast offered or made and again you can't just help yourself. Ok fine, at least there was coffee. We go out to lunch at 1pm and DH said something just now about dinner and mil an chime in "oh no, we don't need any food after that lunch. We will all be fine".

So guess there isn't any dinner tonight. At least I have a heads up today

What is your DH's relationship with his parents like? Why does he put up with this unreasonable behavior?

If he's anything like my DH, he doesn't notice, hear or just ignores the crazy. Every car ride after seeing my MIL is me quizzing him about her anxiety and he claims he didn't hear or notice what she said. Thank God for my niece (DH's side) she's 8 and calls out the crazy like no other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dinner time -- how's it going? Did everyone get a nice big Christmas dinner? Or were you fed a Christmas lunch that the hosts thought was so big at 2 pm that no one should need to eat again until Monday morning?

I served light appetizers for lunch and then a big dinner at 3 followed by dessert. After that, no more food - nada, zip. I'm still not that hungry this morning and my feet are sore from standing in the kitchen making that nice meal yesterday, so I'm not making breakfast this morning. Burger King is only a short 5 mile walk away.

Signed,

The Host

Wow. You do not have to eat. You do not have to cook. But let others in your kitchen. You may have stuffed yourself silly, but others may have not. And How hard is it to put out some bagels and cereal?

Yikes. Do you warn your guests in advance? If you can only host if your guests stuff themselves beyond comfort (so they can last 20 hours) you should just stop hosting.

I just cleaned the kitchen and would like the morning off after having just treated everyone to a wonderful holiday meal. Lunch is not that far away. If you must eat before that - Burger King is open 24/7. Be there.

Honestly if hosting family is such a chore for you don’t do it.

Expecting others to eat Burger King (which is gross) because you want to close your kitchen for 20 hours is bizarre. Would it be so hard to have some clementines and bagels/ cream cheese for your guests? Taking a break from cooking is one thing, expecting your guests to starve or eat fast food on Christmas is another.

I made a lovely, abundant meal on Christmas Day. The morning after Christmas I brew coffee and take the the morning off. If someone did not eat enough at the big meal, that is hardly my doing.

Kitchen reopens at lunchtime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dinner time -- how's it going? Did everyone get a nice big Christmas dinner? Or were you fed a Christmas lunch that the hosts thought was so big at 2 pm that no one should need to eat again until Monday morning?

I served light appetizers for lunch and then a big dinner at 3 followed by dessert. After that, no more food - nada, zip. I'm still not that hungry this morning and my feet are sore from standing in the kitchen making that nice meal yesterday, so I'm not making breakfast this morning. Burger King is only a short 5 mile walk away.

Signed,

The Host

Wow. You do not have to eat. You do not have to cook. But let others in your kitchen. You may have stuffed yourself silly, but others may have not. And How hard is it to put out some bagels and cereal?

Yikes. Do you warn your guests in advance? If you can only host if your guests stuff themselves beyond comfort (so they can last 20 hours) you should just stop hosting.

I just cleaned the kitchen and would like the morning off after having just treated everyone to a wonderful holiday meal. Lunch is not that far away. If you must eat before that - Burger King is open 24/7. Be there.

Honestly if hosting family is such a chore for you don’t do it.

Expecting others to eat Burger King (which is gross) because you want to close your kitchen for 20 hours is bizarre. Would it be so hard to have some clementines and bagels/ cream cheese for your guests? Taking a break from cooking is one thing, expecting your guests to starve or eat fast food on Christmas is another.

I made a lovely, abundant meal on Christmas Day. The morning after Christmas I brew coffee and take the the morning off. If someone did not eat enough at the big meal, that is hardly my doing.

Kitchen reopens at lunchtime.

Yikes. Do you warn your guests in advance? If you can only host if your guests stuff themselves beyond comfort (so they can last 20 hours) you should just stop hosting.

[Anonymous]

Almost as bad here. There's food here, yes, if you want ham for breakfast, lunch and dinner. It's ginormous. So we did an adult thing of going to the store and purchasing food we like and extras for the house. Mom is livid. Can't win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dinner time -- how's it going? Did everyone get a nice big Christmas dinner? Or were you fed a Christmas lunch that the hosts thought was so big at 2 pm that no one should need to eat again until Monday morning?

I served light appetizers for lunch and then a big dinner at 3 followed by dessert. After that, no more food - nada, zip. I'm still not that hungry this morning and my feet are sore from standing in the kitchen making that nice meal yesterday, so I'm not making breakfast this morning. Burger King is only a short 5 mile walk away.

Signed,

The Host

Wow. You do not have to eat. You do not have to cook. But let others in your kitchen. You may have stuffed yourself silly, but others may have not. And How hard is it to put out some bagels and cereal?

Yikes. Do you warn your guests in advance? If you can only host if your guests stuff themselves beyond comfort (so they can last 20 hours) you should just stop hosting.

I just cleaned the kitchen and would like the morning off after having just treated everyone to a wonderful holiday meal. Lunch is not that far away. If you must eat before that - Burger King is open 24/7. Be there.

Honestly if hosting family is such a chore for you don’t do it.

Expecting others to eat Burger King (which is gross) because you want to close your kitchen for 20 hours is bizarre. Would it be so hard to have some clementines and bagels/ cream cheese for your guests? Taking a break from cooking is one thing, expecting your guests to starve or eat fast food on Christmas is another.

I made a lovely, abundant meal on Christmas Day. The morning after Christmas I brew coffee and take the the morning off. If someone did not eat enough at the big meal, that is hardly my doing.

Kitchen reopens at lunchtime.

You know you are a lunatic, right? Telling people they can't eat in your home for 18+ hours is certifiably crazy. I mean...saying you aren't cooking is COMPLETELY different than saying do not touch any of the food in my kitchen. Yuck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dinner time -- how's it going? Did everyone get a nice big Christmas dinner? Or were you fed a Christmas lunch that the hosts thought was so big at 2 pm that no one should need to eat again until Monday morning?

I served light appetizers for lunch and then a big dinner at 3 followed by dessert. After that, no more food - nada, zip. I'm still not that hungry this morning and my feet are sore from standing in the kitchen making that nice meal yesterday, so I'm not making breakfast this morning. Burger King is only a short 5 mile walk away.

Signed,

The Host

Wow. You do not have to eat. You do not have to cook. But let others in your kitchen. You may have stuffed yourself silly, but others may have not. And How hard is it to put out some bagels and cereal?

Yikes. Do you warn your guests in advance? If you can only host if your guests stuff themselves beyond comfort (so they can last 20 hours) you should just stop hosting.

I just cleaned the kitchen and would like the morning off after having just treated everyone to a wonderful holiday meal. Lunch is not that far away. If you must eat before that - Burger King is open 24/7. Be there.

Honestly if hosting family is such a chore for you don’t do it.

Expecting others to eat Burger King (which is gross) because you want to close your kitchen for 20 hours is bizarre. Would it be so hard to have some clementines and bagels/ cream cheese for your guests? Taking a break from cooking is one thing, expecting your guests to starve or eat fast food on Christmas is another.

I made a lovely, abundant meal on Christmas Day. The morning after Christmas I brew coffee and take the the morning off. If someone did not eat enough at the big meal, that is hardly my doing.

Kitchen reopens at lunchtime.

You know you are a lunatic, right? Telling people they can't eat in your home for 18+ hours is certifiably crazy. I mean...saying you aren't cooking is COMPLETELY different than saying do not touch any of the food in my kitchen. Yuck.

How hard is it to have some boxes of cereal and some fruit around? That's not cooking for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dinner time -- how's it going? Did everyone get a nice big Christmas dinner? Or were you fed a Christmas lunch that the hosts thought was so big at 2 pm that no one should need to eat again until Monday morning?

I served light appetizers for lunch and then a big dinner at 3 followed by dessert. After that, no more food - nada, zip. I'm still not that hungry this morning and my feet are sore from standing in the kitchen making that nice meal yesterday, so I'm not making breakfast this morning. Burger King is only a short 5 mile walk away.

Signed,

The Host

Wow. You do not have to eat. You do not have to cook. But let others in your kitchen. You may have stuffed yourself silly, but others may have not. And How hard is it to put out some bagels and cereal?

Yikes. Do you warn your guests in advance? If you can only host if your guests stuff themselves beyond comfort (so they can last 20 hours) you should just stop hosting.

I just cleaned the kitchen and would like the morning off after having just treated everyone to a wonderful holiday meal. Lunch is not that far away. If you must eat before that - Burger King is open 24/7. Be there.

Honestly if hosting family is such a chore for you don’t do it.

Expecting others to eat Burger King (which is gross) because you want to close your kitchen for 20 hours is bizarre. Would it be so hard to have some clementines and bagels/ cream cheese for your guests? Taking a break from cooking is one thing, expecting your guests to starve or eat fast food on Christmas is another.

I made a lovely, abundant meal on Christmas Day. The morning after Christmas I brew coffee and take the the morning off. If someone did not eat enough at the big meal, that is hardly my doing.

Kitchen reopens at lunchtime.

You know you are a lunatic, right? Telling people they can't eat in your home for 18+ hours is certifiably crazy. I mean...saying you aren't cooking is COMPLETELY different than saying do not touch any of the food in my kitchen. Yuck.

How hard is it to have some boxes of cereal and some fruit around? That's not cooking for you.

But but but someone might get a CRUMB in her kitchen!!!!! *insert delicate fainting here*

[Anonymous]

I haven't read through all 14 pages, but did anyone ask if OP or her DH are overweight? Is there some passive aggressive suggestion going on here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven't read through all 14 pages, but did anyone ask if OP or her DH are overweight? Is there some passive aggressive suggestion going on here?

Nah, there's too many different examples of it from lots of families. Sounds more like a generational thing than a weight thing? Though I just cannot get past how rude it all is.

[Anonymous]

OP here


We tried the oh we're going to go eat,do you guys want anything blah blah blah plan. Mil looked like I had slapped her in the face. She started stomping around the kitchen and threw *literally threw a jar of pb, sandwich bread , cream cheese and two cans of progresso soup on the counter. Handed me a paper plate and said here.

We are here until after the new year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here


We tried the oh we're going to go eat,do you guys want anything blah blah blah plan. Mil looked like I had slapped her in the face. She started stomping around the kitchen and threw *literally threw a jar of pb, sandwich bread , cream cheese and two cans of progresso soup on the counter. Handed me a paper plate and said here.

We are here until after the new year.

Just pack up and leave, seriously. Why do you let people treat you this way? I wouldn't let a stranger treat me so rudely, never mind family. Just pack up and get the hell out. You will breathe a sigh of relief as you are driving away.