holding boys back?

[Anonymous]

Believe me, if you're already helicoptering so intensely that you're planning lawsuits a decade or more from now all because some kid entering K a few months late, you won't need lawyers to keep kids away from your daughter! The leash will be evident to everyone!

Seriously, folks, get a grip. It's kindergarten for pete's sake. Or maybe this whole thread is being sustained by one seriously neurotic mother?? There can't actually be multiple women this hysterical over this issue, can there?

[Anonymous]

Google the issue, it is fairly widespread and isn't isolated ti a single neurotic mother in the DC region.

When schools set up a situation where there are 19 year old men in school with 14 year old girls, it is a problem. It isn't just about kindergarten.

Do you want your 8th graders being driven by a classmate?

[Anonymous]

The age difference of 19 and 14 is NOT caused by redshirting kindergarten boys. Nor is that practice a slippery slope that leads to such an age differential. You are all barking in the wrong place. Take your concerns to the administration of the schools that allow excessive redshirting ... not an anonymous web site. All three of you need to get a grip. Learn to adapt and quit pushing a string.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Google the issue, it is fairly widespread and isn't isolated ti a single neurotic mother in the DC region.

When schools set up a situation where there are 19 year old men in school with 14 year old girls, it is a problem. It isn't just about kindergarten.

Do you want your 8th graders being driven by a classmate?

Agree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Google the issue, it is fairly widespread and isn't isolated ti a single neurotic mother in the DC region.

When schools set up a situation where there are 19 year old men in school with 14 year old girls, it is a problem. It isn't just about kindergarten.

Do you want your 8th graders being driven by a classmate?

This is pretty alarmist. I was 14 my freshman year of high school (had just turned 14 when it started) and most seniors there were 18. What's the difference? And how would an 8th grader be driven by a classmate? You seem to be envisioning this weird predatory situation for when your daughter (I assume from this post) is in high school one day. It may be time to take some cleansing breaths...

[Anonymous]

The only hysterical poster seems to be the one continually asserting her right to do anything, including red-shirting her kid, simply because she isn't legally prohibited to do it. The strong reactions are toward this entitled, rude attitude to do whatever you please and disregard others.

IMO red-shirting is pretty pathetic and up there with overly involved parents screaming at soccer matches and harassing teachers if junior doesn't get an A even when his work only warranted a B. Red shirting when there are no developmental delays is a prime example of helicopter parenting.

DH and I have both taught at top level universities. The kids who had to work to overcome challenges and have a strong work ethic do better in upper level classes than the kids who had it easier or too much parental involvement regardless of IQ. The kid who didn't need to study as much to get the "A" eventually hits a place where it isn't so easy. These kids are shocked and can really struggle to learn how to work through challenges. My point is that if your overall goal is achievement focus more on giving your child the skills to work through challenges than game the system to give them a temporary leg up.

18 months is a pretty big difference at the K level. I suspect these teachers must really struggle to balance the curriculum. The kids at the ends of the spectrum will most likely have the worst experience either being bored, not developing the skills to work through difficult problems since everything is easier, or not receive enough time. There will always be variance in capabilities, especially across subject areas. The larger the age span and developmental span, driven by red-shirting, the more variance will occur.

Yes, kids are resilent but should the other kids in the class have an experience that is less rich and engaging simply because a few self centered parents decided to game the system? Yes, life is full of jerks and unfairness but is that really who you want to be as a parent? Perhaps.

[Anonymous]

Actually anti-redshirting PP, you do sound hysterical. The doomsday scenarios about suing prospective statutory rapists, conspiracy theories about rich mommies "gaming the system" and inflicting "an experience that is less rich and engaging" upon your precious child... seriously listen to yourself. We're talking about kindergarten, where kids learn not to eat glue; it's not the Olympic trials.

Presumably most redshirting parents genuinely believe that this is the developmentally-appropriate solution for their child, but I'll take your word for it that maybe there are a few, or even many, craven lunatics who are all about the future SAT scores of their 5yos. So what? Honestly, money can buy lots of advantages so you may as well come to terms with that now or else you're going spontaneously combust with righteous indignation.

And if you can prove that the difference between a 12month age span in the classroom vs. an 18month age span is so incredibly detrimental to the kiddos' life prospects, show us the evidence. I'm not a redshirter, and my son is among the youngest in his class, so I should be sympathetic to your argument, but despite your "top-level" academic background you haven't made much of a case. Forget about this board, if you have real evidence, use that to get your school to change its policy. But bashing parents who - for the most part - are just trying to do what they think is right for their child is really pretty pointless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually anti-redshirting PP, you do sound hysterical. The doomsday scenarios about suing prospective statutory rapists, conspiracy theories about rich mommies "gaming the system" and inflicting "an experience that is less rich and engaging" upon your precious child... seriously listen to yourself. We're talking about kindergarten, where kids learn not to eat glue; it's not the Olympic trials.

Presumably most redshirting parents genuinely believe that this is the developmentally-appropriate solution for their child, but I'll take your word for it that maybe there are a few, or even many, craven lunatics who are all about the future SAT scores of their 5yos. So what? Honestly, money can buy lots of advantages so you may as well come to terms with that now or else you're going spontaneously combust with righteous indignation.

And if you can prove that the difference between a 12month age span in the classroom vs. an 18month age span is so incredibly detrimental to the kiddos' life prospects, show us the evidence. I'm not a redshirter, and my son is among the youngest in his class, so I should be sympathetic to your argument, but despite your "top-level" academic background you haven't made much of a case. Forget about this board, if you have real evidence, use that to get your school to change its policy. But bashing parents who - for the most part - are just trying to do what they think is right for their child is really pretty pointless.

I'm the 10:21 poster and I totally agree with you. Thanks for the voice of reason. And thanks also for the laugh about kindergarten - I actually snorted my coffee out of my nose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Believe me, if you're already helicoptering so intensely that you're planning lawsuits a decade or more from now all because some kid entering K a few months late, you won't need lawyers to keep kids away from your daughter! The leash will be evident to everyone!

Seriously, folks, get a grip. It's kindergarten for pete's sake. Or maybe this whole thread is being sustained by one seriously neurotic mother?? There can't actually be multiple women this hysterical over this issue, can there?

And I would suggest that gaming the system to make an otherwise normal child the "old one" in the class is even more helicopter parenting.

[Anonymous]

Wow! So people are sending 6.5 year olds to start K and the issue is not why are the schools not meeting needs of 5 year old boys but na na na I have a right to red shirt so I will? How can anyone not see a 18 month age difference between 5 and 6.5 making a difference? If it doesn't make a difference why are they holding the kids back?

This is so strange and just can't be good. Is this more common in public or private schools? Either there is something seriously wrong with the school approach if a normal 5 year old boy born in the spring needs to be held back to keep up or there are crazy parents out there.

[Anonymous]

For those parents worried about other parents red-shirting their children, honestly -- and not to be ugly -- is there anything you can do about it? Best to spend your time on an issue that you actually have some control over and can affect change. This is not such an issue, and I'm afraid you're just spinning your wheels getting worked up about it.

[Anonymous]

poster 11:31 hit the nail on the head. WELL DONE!

[Anonymous]

11:31 and 15:43 are probably the same person. Check out the Barbie mom thread if you doubt me.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, feel free to ask the moderator, I'm 11:31 posting from home now but certainly did not post kudos for my own post. I guess that just shows how little we understand one another's perspective... I posted here because I just don't understand the level of outrage. But obviously you find it hard to believe that there is more than 1 mom who isn't ready to call the police over 6yos in K.

Honestly, I'm trying to see your point, but as I said previously I have a son on the young side of his classroom and haven't found that having kids a few months older than the cutoff date is really a problem. In an ideal world, yes, he would be in a classroom with only kids at his precise level of development and maturity. But that's not the case, irrespective of redshirting, and honestly I just haven't seen a huge correlation between the older kids and the troublemakers. Maybe we're lucky, or not so lucky - since we have troublemakers, but they're just within the normal age bounds. I sense some of the outrage is socioeconomic - eg, frustration that there are folks who can afford to give their kids an extra year to get ready for school. Again, I'm sympathetic - we couldn't afford another year of daycare (I actually tried to plan #2 around the cutoff dates to avoid having to pay a whole extra year.) But I guess I've already accepted that these disparities exist and there's not much I can do except do the best for my kid. I also just genuinely believe (maybe naively) that most of the parents who redshirt do so because they genuinely believe it's the best thing for their kids -- eg., the kid may not have a specifically diagnosed "developmental delay" but for cognitive or emotional reasons just isn't ready. That's been my experience so far.

Note that we're also in a public school district - a good one, FWIW, but we're not talking the crazy competitiveness of the DC private school scene. Perhaps that's a different story.

[Anonymous]

19:29 here. My apologies to you, PP. My comment was on the nasty side, which was completely uncalled for, even had you been the same person. And for what it's worth, I agree with you regarding this particular thread. There are so many things to get stressed about as a parent ... I do not see this particular issue as that significant. I honestly believe that redshirting is more rare than indicated here, and moreover, is a function of parents looking out for their kids rather than being aggressively competitive on the kids' behalf. Sorry again to have been rude.