Can I highlight my baby's hair this summer?
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Anonymous
Seriously, are you a troll? Therapy is about you learning to eat a normal diet. The fact that you think a healthy weight is fat is one of the things you need to deal with in therapy. And it would be a million times better for your daughter to have a "fat" mom who loved herself than a skinny mom full of body hatred. But honestly, I think you don't want to get well. It's sad that not only is your own health not enough of a motivator, but your daughter's well being isn't, either. She's going to grow up absorbing your toxic attitudes about food and looks, unless you start cleaning yourself up. I feel sorry for her. |
Anonymous
Are you for real??? Wow. How about just be glad that your baby wasn't born with serious mental or physical abnormalities. This has got to be the shallowest post I've seen in a loooong time. |
Anonymous
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OP, since you have absolutely no willingness do anything to better yourself for you or your daughter, there's nothing that anyone here can obviously say to help.
Honest question, where is the baby's father with all of this dysfunction going on? He has simply got to be aware of the things that are messed up in your life, and he should be taking a more active roll in helping for the sake of his daughter. She really needs to have people with better body image and self esteem in her life. She needs a role model who's going to let her realize she's beautiful. Right now, and for years to come, she's going to be learning through watching and observing how the adults around her treat themselves. |
Anonymous
| I think we should stop piling on the OP and really encourage her to find help. OP, you seem to realize you have a problem, but aren't sure exactly how to fix it or if you really want to. Please change for your daughter, if not for yourself. If any of the PPs who have struggled with anorexia in a similar circumstance could post good therapist leads, OP, can you commit to calling one of them? |
Anonymous
I am so grateful that she is healthy and beautiful. I knew she had brown hair for three hours of pushing. If I were pathologically shallow, she wouldn't be here. I am talking about LEMON JUICE FFS. |
Anonymous
| Fair enough to stop piling on her, she clearly doesn't need that (no one does), but there's so much to be concerned about, and there have been good suggestions that have been answered in a way to lead me to believe that she really doesn't want/isn't ready to accept help yet. This is why I was asking about the baby's father, or some kind of support system, both for her, and her child. I think especially the child as she gets older is going to need additional role models, particularly as she gets older if OP is unwilling or unable to overcome this issue. |
Anonymous
I read a study once that women who didn't consume enough calories while pregnant had babies with brown hair. More calories/weight gain contributed to blond babies. Sounds like that may have been your issue!! Doh!!!! |
Anonymous
Seriously? |
Anonymous
Yeah, sometimes if enough calories are consumed after the baby is born and breastfeeding, it can change the tide but eating too few calories while breastfeeding would definitely lock in the brown hair. |
Anonymous
| So there is still something I could do about this? There is some blonde in her hair, but it's mostly light brown. It's definitely not all brown, though. |
Anonymous
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There was really no need for 14 pages on this.
OP - if you wanna squeeze a lemon on your kids head in the summer, by all means go ahead. |
Anonymous
OP, I dont want to pile on, but I want you to think about this for a minute and it may help. You say, "I don't want her to feel the pain of being perceived as less than perfect by others. I want to shield her from all of that and I want her to love herself because she is wonderful." Your solution to that is to change something about her. This time, it's her hair. If you really think about it, there are millions of people - well let's say thousands of people that will meet your dd and they'll have thousands of different preferences. Some will like stick-like boy figures, some will like the buxom curvy girls. Some will like a "cute" or "pixie" look (think Michelle Williams) while others will like a more sexual look (think Pamela Anderson) (note I picked two blondes with completely differnt looks). Others want a tall svelte model type while others like the short cute tomboy look. If you begin to show your daughter that to avoid feeling the pain of being perceived less than perfect by others is to change your look to appease others, then your daughter will always - ALWAYS - feel that pain because she can never be everything to everyone. If you are truly telling us truthfully that YOU think your daughter is gorgeous the way she is, than you need to teach her that her opinion is the only one that counts. And that you need to show her that she IS perfect the way she is - FOR HERSELF. That being healthy, active, taking care of her hygiene, keeping herself groomed, being nice, having a good character and being as smart as she can be and as kind as she can be are all the things she can do to be the best she can be. And most importantly. You have to (have to, have to, have to) teach her that everyone has a different opinion of what is beautiful. There is no one standard of beauty. And if she strives to please everyone, she'll end up pleasing no one. Please take this as sincere. If you are for real, please just sit with this information and remember it. please. |
Anonymous
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OMG - even the hilarious responses (caloric intake determining hair color) are being taken seriously?
SERIOUSLY?! At this point the clinical issues here are just too immense for this forum. God help the children. |
Anonymous
I'm hoping that the responses are also in jest but who knows! |
Anonymous
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My hair has gotten darker as I've gotten older and fatter. I wonder if it isn't strictly calories but the quality of the calories.
Pass the lemons. |