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[quote=Anonymous][quote]I don't see her as flawed at all. I just dont want her to feel about herself what I feel about myself, I guess, and I dont want her to feel the pain of being perceived as less than perfect by others. I want to shield her from all of that, and I want her to love herself because she really is wonderful.[/quote]

OP, I dont want to pile on, but I want you to think about this for a minute and it may help. You say,

"I don't want her to feel the pain of being perceived as less than perfect by others.  I want to shield her from all of that and I want her to love herself because she is wonderful."

Your solution to that is to change something about her.  This time, it's her hair.  
If you really think about it, there are millions of people - well let's say thousands of people that will meet your dd and they'll have thousands of different preferences.  Some will like stick-like boy figures, some will like the buxom curvy girls.  Some will like a "cute" or "pixie" look (think Michelle Williams) while others will like a more sexual look  (think Pamela Anderson)  (note I picked two blondes with completely differnt looks).  Others want a tall svelte model type while others like the short cute tomboy look.

If you begin to show your daughter that to avoid feeling the pain of being perceived less than perfect by others is to change your look to appease others, then your daughter will always - ALWAYS - feel that pain because she can never be everything to everyone.

If you are truly telling us truthfully that YOU think your daughter is gorgeous the way she is, than you need to teach her that her opinion is the only one that counts.  And that you need to show her that she IS perfect the way she is - FOR HERSELF.  That being healthy, active, taking care of her hygiene, keeping herself groomed, being nice, having a good character and being as smart as she can be and as kind as she can be are all the things she can do to be the best she can be.  And most importantly.  You have to (have to, have to, have to) teach her that everyone has a different opinion of what is beautiful.  There is no one standard of beauty.   And if she strives to please everyone, she'll end up pleasing no one.

Please take this as sincere.  If you are for real, please just sit with this information and remember it.  please.[/quote]

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