Is the obsession with private schools justified?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Yes, I want my kid to attend the best possible school. So far, so good. But my experience in DC has felt a bit off compared to my experience overseas: paying $40,000 for childcare at NCRC partly to get access to top private schools, hiring consultants to prepare children for admissions, dealing with opaque selection processes that seem influenced by connections, and seeing schools treated as symbols of social status.

And then, when you finally get into a top private school, you realize that the college admissions numbers may be distorted by athletes and legacy admissions, and that the actual curriculum is not necessarily stronger than what good public schools offer. So at some point you have to ask: is it really worth obsessing over something that may offer such poor value?

Just skip the NCRC routes. Go to a neighborhood public schools for grades for K-4 or K-6 or k-8 and try independent schools that fits your child for middle or even high school. You can hire a consultant or two then. This saves 200K or so and let your child know the kids in neighborhood.

+1 This is the way. Our kids did public for elementary and moved to private for middle school. No regrets!

Sounds like a more balanced approach. Even without considering the money, I don’t see any clear benefit in our current private school.

Is that why you’re leaving?

[Anonymous]

Firstly, I suspect op is a troll. Just send your kid to public, no one really cares.

As someone who actually had my kids in public before private, more than happy to pay for an experience that has been better in every respect, including college matriculation.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:That makes no sense. I thought the whole point of hooked kids is that they don't necessarily have to fit the right mold because the hook (they have a sibling who attends or a parent who works at the school) is what gets them admitted.

In-demand private schools intentionally select for hooked kids to boost their own college admission stats. It's an easy win for them.

How would admitting students whose parent work at the school or siblings of current students materially improve their college admissions stats, especially when they are 3 or 4 years old and you have no idea whether they will even be remotely strong enough academically to have a realistic chance at top colleges?

It's all a statistics game, and the odds are simply better for those kids than for others of a similar age without that potential leg-up.

I get that admitting certain kids with parents who attended HYPS may marginally improve certain odds, but you haven't explained how admitting those whose parents work at the school or siblings of non-legacies help at all.

Different hooks matter to different colleges, and the private schools know which to look for. Eg. parents who went to Harvard matter, not so much parents who went to MIT. https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1123241.page

And what is specifically appealing to a top college about the admissions hook that a student's parent works at their private school?

No clue, maybe someone who works in college admissions can speak to that. The point is that the same kids who get into top colleges from privates would probably also get in if they were coming from public schools. So be careful about selecting a private school because it says it sends a lot of kids to any one or more of the Ivies.

[Anonymous]

Abandoning your "in-demand private schools intentionally select for hooked kids to boost their own college admission stats" claim when pressed for evidence, I see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Abandoning your "in-demand private schools intentionally select for hooked kids to boost their own college admission stats" claim when pressed for evidence, I see.

The question was why do colleges do this, not a request for evidence that they do it. Evidence is easy, I myself happen to be evidence that they do it - I was the child of professors at a highly selective school who got into that school early, with infinitely better-qualified students in my own high school class waitlisted or outright rejected. That's why I'm so jaded about private schools' claims that they can give anyone a real leg up based on other students' college matriculation success.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Firstly, I suspect op is a troll. Just send your kid to public, no one really cares.

As someone who actually had my kids in public before private, more than happy to pay for an experience that has been better in every respect, including college matriculation.

This is what you are saying : no body cares what OP is saying, but obviously everyone is interested in what I am about to post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Firstly, I suspect op is a troll. Just send your kid to public, no one really cares.

As someone who actually had my kids in public before private, more than happy to pay for an experience that has been better in every respect, including college matriculation.

This is what you are saying : no body cares what OP is saying, but obviously everyone is interested in what I am about to post.

Missed the point, no reason for this thread to exist, but since it does . . .
Honestly I’d be fine if it disappeared entirely but there would just be another pubic school parent asking the same question in two weeks. That seems to be the cycle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Firstly, I suspect op is a troll. Just send your kid to public, no one really cares.

As someone who actually had my kids in public before private, more than happy to pay for an experience that has been better in every respect, including college matriculation.

This is what you are saying : no body cares what OP is saying, but obviously everyone is interested in what I am about to post.

Missed the point, no reason for this thread to exist, but since it does . . .
Honestly I’d be fine if it disappeared entirely but there would just be another pubic school parent asking the same question in two weeks. That seems to be the cycle.

No reason for this thread to exist, but I still find useful that everyone listens to what I have to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Abandoning your "in-demand private schools intentionally select for hooked kids to boost their own college admission stats" claim when pressed for evidence, I see.

The question was why do colleges do this, not a request for evidence that they do it. Evidence is easy, I myself happen to be evidence that they do it - I was the child of professors at a highly selective school who got into that school early, with infinitely better-qualified students in my own high school class waitlisted or outright rejected. That's why I'm so jaded about private schools' claims that they can give anyone a real leg up based on other students' college matriculation success.

Now you're shifting the goalposts. We were talking about hooks for private school admissions, not college admissions. Two completely different things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Abandoning your "in-demand private schools intentionally select for hooked kids to boost their own college admission stats" claim when pressed for evidence, I see.

The question was why do colleges do this, not a request for evidence that they do it. Evidence is easy, I myself happen to be evidence that they do it - I was the child of professors at a highly selective school who got into that school early, with infinitely better-qualified students in my own high school class waitlisted or outright rejected. That's why I'm so jaded about private schools' claims that they can give anyone a real leg up based on other students' college matriculation success.

Now you're shifting the goalposts. We were talking about hooks for private school admissions, not college admissions. Two completely different things.

In that case, we were always talking about two different things. I was talking about how private schools aren't really justified from a college matriculation standpoint, since they are motivated to admit kids themselves who they know will have a higher chance of getting into excellent colleges at the end, thereby improving their own college matriculation stats. I'm not super interested in private school hooks, because the overall question of this thread is whether it's worth sending a child to a private school, not the mechanics of getting a child into one.

[Anonymous]

Then you haven't been reading carefully. I challenged the "they are motivated to admit kids themselves who they know will have a higher chance of getting into excellent colleges at the end" statement by noting that private schools admit children of staff and siblings, neither of which are an inherent hook for college admissions. And you haven't been able to provide any counterargument to that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Firstly, I suspect op is a troll. Just send your kid to public, no one really cares.

As someone who actually had my kids in public before private, more than happy to pay for an experience that has been better in every respect, including college matriculation.

This! Do your thing OP + I will do mine.

[Anonymous]

I find it odd that every “Is private school worth it?” thread focuses on college admissions outcomes. I attended public and private schools, and so has my kid, but IMO schools - esp at elementary/middle levels - are for character formation, instilling civic duty and pride, building foundations for lifelong learning. I want my kid to learn how to read, write, and think.

I found my small liberal arts private to be an amazing experience and I wanted the same kind of learning environment for my kid. I expect and want my young elementary aged kids to be reading Stuart Little and The Boxcar Children at school, not Dog Man and Junie B Jones. So for us, private is worth it. It might not be for your family, and that is ok. I know many families still in public who are very happy with their schools. I know that public systems often offer higher levels of math, which is not my priority. As long as AP Calc I and II/AP Stat are offered in high school, I think that is good enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Then you haven't been reading carefully. I challenged the "they are motivated to admit kids themselves who they know will have a higher chance of getting into excellent colleges at the end" statement by noting that private schools admit children of staff and siblings, neither of which are an inherent hook for college admissions. And you haven't been able to provide any counterargument to that.

Sure, privates don't only admit kids who have a hook for college admissions. Just enough to keep their college matriculation stats looking competitive. Doesn't change the fact that it's highly unlikely that sending your child to a private school boosts that child's chances of getting into a competitive college.

I agree with the prior poster that there are other reasons to send a child to private school, which is why I send my kids to one. All I'm pointing out is that anyone who thinks they're doing so to boost their child's college applications is kidding themselves. It does enter every conversation about privates, and it really shouldn't.

[Anonymous]

Many of the parents here seemed to be very reasonable. Private school fit their particular needs. At the same time, you have those that look down on kids from less prestigious schools. That last part I don't think it's necessary. College admissions are distributed between public and private schools. Not sure one has the lead over another, specially in the DC Area. I don't care about Sidwell vs TJ BTW, both have a lot of issues.