Is the obsession with private schools justified?

[Anonymous]

See your problem is that you are “destination“ oriented.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s the thing….

People who can actually afford these schools and belong there don’t care about prestige, rigor or college admissions.

Your the rube trying to place yourself adjacent to them… which is why people will call you a striver,

The rest don’t care about those sophomoric concerns.

Do they end up with the end goal you sweat and toil over, yes but not why and how you hope it’s happening.

Inside the bubble it’s not opaque… it’s only opaque from the outside looking in.

You are a good example of what I am describing: people tying a school to their social status (“Inside the bubble, it’s not opaque.”)

My only metric is the quality of the education. And by that metric, the top private school my child attends is failing.

So why are you there? Serious question! If I were naming the top high school in the area as far as quality of education, by reputation I think it would be TJ. That’s a public school.

I also feel like if you really want to be “elite” in this country, you don’t stay in DC. This is the backwoods.

If TJ is so great, then why do multiple grads end of up JMU or GMU? What happened there? Could have gotten to that same destination with a lot less effort.

Money is one reason and they go to JMU for free.

Many are ecstatic to go to JMU engineering for free.

Mental health is the other. Many at TJ crash and burn mentally because they don’t want an “elite” education but their parents put all their delusions onto their kids.

Like parents of stressed out kids in privates.

[Anonymous]

Once you’re in it’s hard not to be influenced (or obsessed as you put it) by what the other parents are talking about. And they talk a lot about what’s next - the next school, summer camp, Colorado ski trip etc. Hopefully you have some friends around who are less obsessed with the best of everything.

[Anonymous]

Help me understand the private schools. The teachers make half of public school teachers. How many private school parents would take a job for a much lower salary?? Private schools have wonderful sales people!

[Anonymous]

Yawn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s the thing….

People who can actually afford these schools and belong there don’t care about prestige, rigor or college admissions.

Your the rube trying to place yourself adjacent to them… which is why people will call you a striver,

The rest don’t care about those sophomoric concerns.

Do they end up with the end goal you sweat and toil over, yes but not why and how you hope it’s happening.

Inside the bubble it’s not opaque… it’s only opaque from the outside looking in.

You are a good example of what I am describing: people tying a school to their social status (“Inside the bubble, it’s not opaque.”)

My only metric is the quality of the education. And by that metric, the top private school my child attends is failing.

So why are you there? Serious question! If I were naming the top high school in the area as far as quality of education, by reputation I think it would be TJ. That’s a public school.

I also feel like if you really want to be “elite” in this country, you don’t stay in DC. This is the backwoods.

If TJ is so great, then why do multiple grads end of up JMU or GMU? What happened there? Could have gotten to that same destination with a lot less effort.

Money is one reason and they go to JMU for free.

Many are ecstatic to go to JMU engineering for free.

Mental health is the other. Many at TJ crash and burn mentally because they don’t want an “elite” education but their parents put all their delusions onto their kids.

Like parents of stressed out kids in privates.

Yes there are stressed out parents in private because they went for the wrong reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Help me understand the private schools. The teachers make half of public school teachers. How many private school parents would take a job for a much lower salary?? Private schools have wonderful sales people!

Not all teachers make less.

Many have money so it doesn’t matter.

[Anonymous]

In any case, we are leaving this year. Not so much for the money, it’s just that the educational experience is very poor.

No, I am not looking for my kid getting into MIT. Just that they learn the same level of math or writing skills you can learn in any good school around the world, not less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Help me understand the private schools. The teachers make half of public school teachers. How many private school parents would take a job for a much lower salary?? Private schools have wonderful sales people!

Not all teachers make less.

Many have money so it doesn’t matter.

Yes, they make less per hour. They might be married to a richer partner, but private school teachers are underpaid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I want my kid to attend the best possible school. So far, so good. But my experience in DC has felt a bit off compared to my experience overseas: paying $40,000 for childcare at NCRC partly to get access to top private schools, hiring consultants to prepare children for admissions, dealing with opaque selection processes that seem influenced by connections, and seeing schools treated as symbols of social status.

And then, when you finally get into a top private school, you realize that the college admissions numbers may be distorted by athletes and legacy admissions, and that the actual curriculum is not necessarily stronger than what good public schools offer. So at some point you have to ask: is it really worth obsessing over something that may offer such poor value?

Getting back to the original question (and stopping with the name calling and finger pointing). If you want your kid to attend the best possible school, it may not be a private school. Each kid's journey will be different, and you have to make a collective family decision about what you want to get out of your child's education. We have anecdotal evidence that shows our daughter thrives in private schools. Our daughter started out in public school. She ended up needed more structure and one-on-one direction than public school was able to provide so we moved her to a private school. Her grades immediately improved and she blossomed socially. During COVID we returned to public school (couldn't justify the cost for virtual schooling so we took a hiatus). Her grades immediately plummeted upon returning to public school as the classes were larger and the teachers were teaching to a curriculum rather than to the students. After COVID we returned to a private school and, once again, she thrived with the academic rigor and a more tailored learning experience.

Our journey does not mean private school is better, only that it provided us what we needed at the time. In some cases - strongly dependent on the child - public schools could be much better. The kids are growing up in areas around their friends (our daughter's friends were many miles away so hanging out after school wasn't an option for many years); the public schools in our area can be very good if your child is a self-starter and disciplined; and you can save a lot of money (which can be reinvested into other things that may help your child perform better such as a tutors or test preparations).

On the other hand, there have been other positives with private schools. You child(ren) goes to school with other kids whose parents place an importance on education, for example. It's not a bad thing for your kids to be surrounded by others who make education a priority as it sort of rubs off in a positive way. Also, private schools do seem to have better connections with both colleges and alumni. It is true that 'who' you know can be more important than 'what' you know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People obsess over private schools for the same reason they obsess over travel sports — they’re trying to compensate for their own failures and projecting on to their kids. And wasting a ton of time and money in the process.

They’d be better off paying for a therapist.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Help me understand the private schools. The teachers make half of public school teachers. How many private school parents would take a job for a much lower salary?? Private schools have wonderful sales people!

You're weird and your claims hyperbolic. Private schools, in an effort to remain competitive, will generally ensure they're not paying less than 15% what public schools pay, but that doesn't mean they pay less. Our family is in education and know definitively that some of our positions pay more than equivalent public school positions. It really depends on the type of private school, location, attendance, etc. For some private schools (religious, for example), there is more of a calling for people to teach there, so it's not about chasing the higher salaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Help me understand the private schools. The teachers make half of public school teachers. How many private school parents would take a job for a much lower salary?? Private schools have wonderful sales people!

You're weird and your claims hyperbolic. Private schools, in an effort to remain competitive, will generally ensure they're not paying less than 15% what public schools pay, but that doesn't mean they pay less. Our family is in education and know definitively that some of our positions pay more than equivalent public school positions. It really depends on the type of private school, location, attendance, etc. For some private schools (religious, for example), there is more of a calling for people to teach there, so it's not about chasing the higher salaries.

Factor in the pension and healthcare plans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People obsess over private schools for the same reason they obsess over travel sports — they’re trying to compensate for their own failures and projecting on to their kids. And wasting a ton of time and money in the process.

They’d be better off paying for a therapist.

+1

I love how you '+1' your own post, you troll.

[Anonymous]

This reads like FOMO. You can just opt out if it's not for you.