Breaking up with my toxic mom group (Ashley Tisdale essay)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Tisdale’s article appeared on my newsfeed today right next to the headlines about Tatiana schlossberg’s funeral and untimely death from aggressive cancer. A stark contrast and a reminder of how completely asinine and unimportant this entire topic is. It’s pedantic that cliques exist amongst grown adults and attention and validation seeking that tisdale would write an article about it. People lack perspective on what’s important in life.

Of course it seems unimportant compared to someone dying at a young age from cancer. 99% of this website is unimportant compared to that.

But friendships, finding support as a mom, and just generally having community are actually very important.

Which you can do without the friend “group” angle. Your own mom, or other women who have raised kids and share their wisdom and advice, coworkers, one-on-one friends. There’s so many ways to have the support and community, without the “group” part of it.

Many, many women find themselves in Mom groups. They want to know other moms in the neighborhood with babies the same age. This isn't remotely weird or odd.

The “group” idea is odd. Most people find 1-2 people they like in a group.

In a class of people you find 1-2 friends.
On a sports team you find 1-2 friends.
At work you find 1-2 friends.

The idea you will find a group where every single person is close friends is not real life.

Ok? But in that group are people pointedly excluding you, being weird and sitting you far away from the rest of the group, making plans in front of you? We don't all have to be friends but some of these women went out of their way to be jerks. It's not that hard to be nice at a kid's birthday party and not you know, invite all the other girlies for something like a brunch the next day in front of the hostess and not include her.

In a class we break into groups and yes I’m not part of every group. In school at lunch the lunch tables are harder to join than sororities. I’m not invited to every study group. In sports I’m not always invited to get food after practice, I don’t sit with certain people at pre-game dinners.

I go to birthday parties and don’t talk to every parent.

Your taking this not talk about something too far. It reminds me of the movie Booksmart where nobody’s allowed to talk about what school they got into because it might hurt somebody’s feelings.

Here’s the reality people are doing things without you. Some people have more money than you. Some people go on vacation vacations with friends and you’re not invited. You’re not invited to every brunch.

Find your one or two friends and do something with them.

Oh please. This is about what Ashley wrote. If you want to talk about your own personal groups do that elsewhere. What she described sucks.

We are in the relationship forum not the entertainment forum. This is talking about women groups in general.

Ashley, just needs to relax. People are mean I could write 20 articles about mean women I’ve met in the DC area.

Really? It’s not new. It’s not interesting.

Exactly. She wrote this article like she was me too’d. The mom group sounds like a cult. Just make a few friends and stop referring to yourself as a group.

One of my kids had a small preschool pod that was together for a few years. Us mom in the group bonded. We love seeing each other and some of our kids do some activities together, we have a what’s app group and sometimes get dinner. But some individuals are closer to each other than others and we all have other friends. What tisdale is whining about seems so immature. She’s 40 years old and doesn’t need her friend group to be everything in life, and even weirder to use her kids as a vehicle for it.

Sounds a bit hypocritical coming from someone with a group based around preschoolers. Find your own friends and leave the kids out if it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hilary Duff's husband just responded lol

https://www.reddit.com/r/Fauxmoi/comments/1q61jgw/matthew_koma_hilary_duffs_husband_getting_in_on/

That's even weirder, IMO. She never mentioned Hilary Duff by name, so why is he chiming in.

It's almost like all of these C-list former teen starlets, some of whom have projects/albums coming out are competing to see who can get the most facetime in tabloids.

The husband sounds like a petty loser. Looks like Ashley had their number.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hilary Duff's husband just responded lol

https://www.reddit.com/r/Fauxmoi/comments/1q61jgw/matthew_koma_hilary_duffs_husband_getting_in_on/

That's even weirder, IMO. She never mentioned Hilary Duff by name, so why is he chiming in.

It's almost like all of these C-list former teen starlets, some of whom have projects/albums coming out are competing to see who can get the most facetime in tabloids.

The husband sounds like a petty loser. Looks like Ashley had their number.

Hilary and Megan both have albums coming out this year, Mandy has a new show and Gaby's opening a restaurant.

It's super weird of Hilary's husband to respond to an article widely presumed to be about his wife but never explicitly mentioning her. Like, you literally just confirmed it was her. But no one even knows who he is and as the breadwinner Hilary quite literally has to sing for their suppers, so I can see why he'd try to keep the spotlight on her in advance of the album.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hilary Duff's husband just responded lol

https://www.reddit.com/r/Fauxmoi/comments/1q61jgw/matthew_koma_hilary_duffs_husband_getting_in_on/

That's even weirder, IMO. She never mentioned Hilary Duff by name, so why is he chiming in.

It's almost like all of these C-list former teen starlets, some of whom have projects/albums coming out are competing to see who can get the most facetime in tabloids.

The husband sounds like a petty loser. Looks like Ashley had their number.

Hilary and Megan both have albums coming out this year, Mandy has a new show and Gaby's opening a restaurant.

It's super weird of Hilary's husband to respond to an article widely presumed to be about his wife but never explicitly mentioning her. Like, you literally just confirmed it was her. But no one even knows who he is and as the breadwinner Hilary quite literally has to sing for their suppers, so I can see why he'd try to keep the spotlight on her in advance of the album.

It basically confirms everything Ashley alleged. What a sad sack of a man wading into his wife's "immature" mommy group drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hilary Duff's husband just responded lol

https://www.reddit.com/r/Fauxmoi/comments/1q61jgw/matthew_koma_hilary_duffs_husband_getting_in_on/

That's even weirder, IMO. She never mentioned Hilary Duff by name, so why is he chiming in.

It's almost like all of these C-list former teen starlets, some of whom have projects/albums coming out are competing to see who can get the most facetime in tabloids.

The husband sounds like a petty loser. Looks like Ashley had their number.

Hilary and Megan both have albums coming out this year, Mandy has a new show and Gaby's opening a restaurant.

It's super weird of Hilary's husband to respond to an article widely presumed to be about his wife but never explicitly mentioning her. Like, you literally just confirmed it was her. But no one even knows who he is and as the breadwinner Hilary quite literally has to sing for their suppers, so I can see why he'd try to keep the spotlight on her in advance of the album.

It basically confirms everything Ashley alleged. What a sad sack of a man wading into his wife's "immature" mommy group drama.

Yeah, I'd be mortified if my DH inserted himself into mommy group drama but again, when you're reliant on your wife, you're gonna do what you can to keep her name out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hilary Duff's husband just responded lol

https://www.reddit.com/r/Fauxmoi/comments/1q61jgw/matthew_koma_hilary_duffs_husband_getting_in_on/

That's even weirder, IMO. She never mentioned Hilary Duff by name, so why is he chiming in.

It's almost like all of these C-list former teen starlets, some of whom have projects/albums coming out are competing to see who can get the most facetime in tabloids.

The husband sounds like a petty loser. Looks like Ashley had their number.

Hilary and Megan both have albums coming out this year, Mandy has a new show and Gaby's opening a restaurant.

It's super weird of Hilary's husband to respond to an article widely presumed to be about his wife but never explicitly mentioning her. Like, you literally just confirmed it was her. But no one even knows who he is and as the breadwinner Hilary quite literally has to sing for their suppers, so I can see why he'd try to keep the spotlight on her in advance of the album.

It basically confirms everything Ashley alleged. What a sad sack of a man wading into his wife's "immature" mommy group drama.

Yeah, I'd be mortified if my DH inserted himself into mommy group drama but again, when you're reliant on your wife, you're gonna do what you can to keep her name out there.

Not sure it helps. Hilary might be a mean girl? Better check out her new album.

[Anonymous]

Hilary Duff, Mandy Moore, Meghan Trainor, and Ashley Tisdale in a toxic mommy group really sounds like the C-list premise for a Mean Girls reboot.

[Anonymous]

I admit I didn't real this article, but I also am totally disinterested in female drama. I can't really imagine being part of a "friend group" and worrying about where I'm sat, or who invited who. I either am friends with people because I feel good about our relationship, or I'm not. What is the difference between people who really really care about female relationships to the point that they analyze them for fault and make issues about it, and people who just...don't?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hilary Duff's husband just responded lol

https://www.reddit.com/r/Fauxmoi/comments/1q61jgw/matthew_koma_hilary_duffs_husband_getting_in_on/

Oh, this is how you know Tisdale is spot on in diagnosing this group as toxic. Look how *invested* Hilary's loser husband is in some petty ass drama. Huge red flag.

The biggest Queen B I've ever encountered, through a hobby I was involved in, had an attack dog, er, *husband* like this. He'd spread rumors about the women in the hobby that his wife viewed as threats or didn't like for whatever reason. Like he'd talk $hit about some woman he barely knew while having drinks with this group, just because his wife had told him privately that said woman was "jealous" of her. It was so deeply immature.

I abandoned that group for a whole host of reasons but one of them was that my DH very quickly recognized how toxic they were and was like "uh, I do not want to hang out with these people." He's a very stand up guy and a good judge of character, and could see the writing on the wall well before I could. So glad I'm not married to a messy b***h who loves drama instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I admit I didn't real this article, but I also am totally disinterested in female drama. I can't really imagine being part of a "friend group" and worrying about where I'm sat, or who invited who. I either am friends with people because I feel good about our relationship, or I'm not. What is the difference between people who really really care about female relationships to the point that they analyze them for fault and make issues about it, and people who just...don't?

A secure sense of self.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hilary Duff's husband just responded lol

https://www.reddit.com/r/Fauxmoi/comments/1q61jgw/matthew_koma_hilary_duffs_husband_getting_in_on/

LOL, what a loser. Ashley was right to cut ties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hilary Duff's husband just responded lol

https://www.reddit.com/r/Fauxmoi/comments/1q61jgw/matthew_koma_hilary_duffs_husband_getting_in_on/

LOL, what a loser. Ashley was right to cut ties.

+1 I read the headlines about this essay yesterday so I knew it existed, but not the essay itself (or this thread), and then when I saw another headline about his post my immediate reaction was "whatever Ashley Tisdale wrote about *definitely* happened, and I guess Hilary Duff sucks which is a bummer."

/Never seen High School Musical, and didn't grow up with cable so I don't have any sense of childlike loyalty to any of these heaux.

[Anonymous]

He literally photoshopped his head onto the picture of Ashley on her essay. That is just... wow.

It also shows you what Hillary Duff is like that her husband feels comfortable doing this in such a public way. I can't imagine my husband doing anything like this. If this is what her husband is like, I can only assume that Hillary is worse, that's usually how it goes.

I don't really have feelings about Ashley Tisdale one way or the other but she is definitely not wrong that this group is/was toxic AF.

[Anonymous]

Per Reddit “ I follow Ashley, Hilary, and Mandy on IG. I noticed a shift around the time of the fires in California last year. Mandy’s family was affected by the fires. Her, her husband and their children all lived with Hilary for a couple of months due to the fire damage in their home. Other members of Mandy’s family completely lost their homes. I remember Ashley being super tone deaf around this time posting about how grateful she was that she wasn’t affected by the fires and continued talking about plans to build her vacation home. She wasn’t pictured with the mom group again after this. I have a feeling that that affected her relationship within the mom group.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Per Reddit “ I follow Ashley, Hilary, and Mandy on IG. I noticed a shift around the time of the fires in California last year. Mandy’s family was affected by the fires. Her, her husband and their children all lived with Hilary for a couple of months due to the fire damage in their home. Other members of Mandy’s family completely lost their homes. I remember Ashley being super tone deaf around this time posting about how grateful she was that she wasn’t affected by the fires and continued talking about plans to build her vacation home. She wasn’t pictured with the mom group again after this. I have a feeling that that affected her relationship within the mom group.”

And the correct response to this (if even remotely true) is doing what Mr Hilary Duff did? No. Talk about being petty, immature, and not needing to post things for public consumption.