Women lying/ gate keeping around where clothes are from

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God DCUM is so weird.
I don’t mind if someone asks where something is from and assuming I remember I will tell them.
Why wouldn’t I? No one I know is going to copy my whole wardrobe and I’m not insecure. If I got something cute from Anthro, Amazon, or spent $4k on a dress from a boutique I’m an open book.

+1. And seriously, who the F cares if they do decide to “copy” you?

I do. I care. I put a lot of effort into my style, which is distinctive, and I don't like having a woman in my social circle copying exact items from my wardrobe. If you want to do it, I can't stop you, but I'm not going to *help* you by providing you an itemized list of everything I'm wearing and where I bought it.

Why so insecure?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God DCUM is so weird.
I don’t mind if someone asks where something is from and assuming I remember I will tell them.
Why wouldn’t I? No one I know is going to copy my whole wardrobe and I’m not insecure. If I got something cute from Anthro, Amazon, or spent $4k on a dress from a boutique I’m an open book.

+1. And seriously, who the F cares if they do decide to “copy” you?

I do. I care. I put a lot of effort into my style, which is distinctive, and I don't like having a woman in my social circle copying exact items from my wardrobe. If you want to do it, I can't stop you, but I'm not going to *help* you by providing you an itemized list of everything I'm wearing and where I bought it.

Why so insecure?

+1
Plus they didn’t just make one of everything you own 🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God DCUM is so weird.
I don’t mind if someone asks where something is from and assuming I remember I will tell them.
Why wouldn’t I? No one I know is going to copy my whole wardrobe and I’m not insecure. If I got something cute from Anthro, Amazon, or spent $4k on a dress from a boutique I’m an open book.

I'm sure that's not the only thing that's open.

Geezzzz. 😟

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God DCUM is so weird.
I don’t mind if someone asks where something is from and assuming I remember I will tell them.
Why wouldn’t I? No one I know is going to copy my whole wardrobe and I’m not insecure. If I got something cute from Anthro, Amazon, or spent $4k on a dress from a boutique I’m an open book.

+1. And seriously, who the F cares if they do decide to “copy” you?

I do. I care. I put a lot of effort into my style, which is distinctive, and I don't like having a woman in my social circle copying exact items from my wardrobe. If you want to do it, I can't stop you, but I'm not going to *help* you by providing you an itemized list of everything I'm wearing and where I bought it.

Why so insecure?

+1
Plus they didn’t just make one of everything you own 🙄

This only applies to distinctive items. No one cares about basics and neutrals.

Also, who is more insecure: the woman who politely declines to share where she bought something by saying "oh I can't remember," of the woman walking around parties asking multiple women where their clothes came from and then rushing home to google the items to find out where they are from and how much they cost?

I think it's weird to want to dress like someone else. Dress like yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God DCUM is so weird.
I don’t mind if someone asks where something is from and assuming I remember I will tell them.
Why wouldn’t I? No one I know is going to copy my whole wardrobe and I’m not insecure. If I got something cute from Anthro, Amazon, or spent $4k on a dress from a boutique I’m an open book.

+1. And seriously, who the F cares if they do decide to “copy” you?

I do. I care. I put a lot of effort into my style, which is distinctive, and I don't like having a woman in my social circle copying exact items from my wardrobe. If you want to do it, I can't stop you, but I'm not going to *help* you by providing you an itemized list of everything I'm wearing and where I bought it.

Why so insecure?

+1
Plus they didn’t just make one of everything you own 🙄

This only applies to distinctive items. No one cares about basics and neutrals.

Also, who is more insecure: the woman who politely declines to share where she bought something by saying "oh I can't remember," of the woman walking around parties asking multiple women where their clothes came from and then rushing home to google the items to find out where they are from and how much they cost?

I think it's weird to want to dress like someone else. Dress like yourself.

I hear ya’
However, I simply choose to be kind.

If I’m asked I share. Always.

I can’t be concerned with how others may look or what they do with the info I’ve shared.

[Anonymous]

Ask me! I will happily tell you I got it from Target, TJMaxx or Costco.

[Anonymous]

These days, with strangers anyway, I just take a picture of them and do a Google image search. I used to tap people on the shoulder, compliment an item, and ask where they got it, but these days Google does the work for me.

If you're in conversation with someone and they refuse to tell me? I don't know - I'd think that was weird and off-putting. I'm from the Midwest though, and will tell people where I got it and whether it was a good deal. I have a little story about it, basically. haha.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God DCUM is so weird.
I don’t mind if someone asks where something is from and assuming I remember I will tell them.
Why wouldn’t I? No one I know is going to copy my whole wardrobe and I’m not insecure. If I got something cute from Anthro, Amazon, or spent $4k on a dress from a boutique I’m an open book.

+1. And seriously, who the F cares if they do decide to “copy” you?

I do. I care. I put a lot of effort into my style, which is distinctive, and I don't like having a woman in my social circle copying exact items from my wardrobe. If you want to do it, I can't stop you, but I'm not going to *help* you by providing you an itemized list of everything I'm wearing and where I bought it.

Why so insecure?

+1
Plus they didn’t just make one of everything you own 🙄

This only applies to distinctive items. No one cares about basics and neutrals.

Also, who is more insecure: the woman who politely declines to share where she bought something by saying "oh I can't remember," of the woman walking around parties asking multiple women where their clothes came from and then rushing home to google the items to find out where they are from and how much they cost?

I think it's weird to want to dress like someone else. Dress like yourself.

Lying isn't "politely declining." That would be saying, "I'd rather not say." It's the disingenuousness that's the issue. You DO know, but you're not comfortable telling people outright that you don't want them to copy you - assuming they do - so you give a BS reply.

It's not weird at all to admire something someone else is wearing, especially if you think it would look good on you. Copying someone's entire wardrobe, yes, that's weird. But an article of clothing here or there? Totally normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:According to this thread I’m too poor and basic to take issue with sharing where my clothes are from

Right that’s what I’m thinking. My friends and I don’t care at all, but the highest it ever goes is Nordstrom or Lulu lemon or something (not that you need to ask since the logo is everywhere). And people are happy to get a compliment on a Target or Old Navy dress. I think it does go to body type as a PP mentioned - some people look amazing in cheap clothes. I have tried on the same and it just doesn’t work for me.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had no idea so many women are so triggered by another woman asking where their dress is from. Is this an east coast thing? I guess some women are really competitive with other women instead of helpful and open. That is so unfortunate. This may be a really good way to test who is a good friend or not. Ask where their dress is from and if they answer, you have a genuine, caring person. If they don’t, you have a pretentious, competitive weirdo. Choose which type of friend you prefer.

Sorry you just found out how rude and obnoxious your nosy questions are.

Can you please explain why this is thought of as rude and obnoxious?

Serious question.

Is it just because you don’t want someone copy? Or do you feel it reveals how much money you spend on clothes (which of course doesn’t necessarily correlate to how much money you have)?
Other?

Because there can be a wrong answer. Maybe I don’t shop at a cool store, or maybe I spent too much or too little and now you’re judging for it. And the askers are definitely judging as demonstrated here. It’s a party, just relax and make polite conversation with people you don’t know.

It's because she's insecure and likely very judgmental since she assumes everyone else is judging her, when in reality they don't care enough about her to bother and are just making conversation.

Ok. If that’s your best attempt at making conversation you should probably practice more. Do you often social anxiety?

You should stop day drinking as a hobby and try something more productive.

Multiple people have said it’s weird, don’t do it, yet there’s you missing social cues thinking everyone else is the problem.

And multiple people have said it's not weird. It's really not that big of a deal either way.

Ok so don’t be like op and get hurt if people blow off your question because now you know.

I actually don't ask questions like this but have no issue if someone asked about what I am wearing.

You might be in the wrong if you ask, but you won't ever be wrong if you don't ask at all. And what's the point? Are people running out to Anthropologie to buy that dress they just heard about? What if you run into the person again wearing that dress? Awkward.

Funny how running into the person wearing the same LV bag is never awkward.

It is if the bag is distinctive in some way. Among people who can afford them, no one is going to blink at two women with the same Neverfull, but also no one is going to run up and ask where you got it either because it's obvious.

But yes showing up to an event wearing the same distinctive designer dress or bag would be awkward. And if someone asked where you bought something distinctive and then you went out and bought it and showed up wearing it later, this would be viewed as tacky and rude. That doesn't mean women don't share tips about where to shop or what designers they like -- they do this all the time. But they don't shop each other's wardrobes at social events because it's considered impolite and weird.

The thread started with an Anthropologie dress, right? Not a Met gala outfit?

Just checking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God DCUM is so weird.
I don’t mind if someone asks where something is from and assuming I remember I will tell them.
Why wouldn’t I? No one I know is going to copy my whole wardrobe and I’m not insecure. If I got something cute from Anthro, Amazon, or spent $4k on a dress from a boutique I’m an open book.

+1. And seriously, who the F cares if they do decide to “copy” you?

I do. I care. I put a lot of effort into my style, which is distinctive, and I don't like having a woman in my social circle copying exact items from my wardrobe. If you want to do it, I can't stop you, but I'm not going to *help* you by providing you an itemized list of everything I'm wearing and where I bought it.

Why so insecure?

+1
Plus they didn’t just make one of everything you own 🙄

This only applies to distinctive items. No one cares about basics and neutrals.

Also, who is more insecure: the woman who politely declines to share where she bought something by saying "oh I can't remember," of the woman walking around parties asking multiple women where their clothes came from and then rushing home to google the items to find out where they are from and how much they cost?

I think it's weird to want to dress like someone else. Dress like yourself.

Lying isn't "politely declining." That would be saying, "I'd rather not say." It's the disingenuousness that's the issue. You DO know, but you're not comfortable telling people outright that you don't want them to copy you - assuming they do - so you give a BS reply.

It's not weird at all to admire something someone else is wearing, especially if you think it would look good on you. Copying someone's entire wardrobe, yes, that's weird. But an article of clothing here or there? Totally normal.

No, in this case the white lie is more polite because it raises fewer questions. If you said "Is rather not say," people are more likely to be hurt by it.

I don't think it's weird to ask after an item you really like once in a blue moon, but OP describes a situation where she asked 3 women she didn't know about their clothes at the same party. That's way too much and I would find it weird and say "oh I can't remember" in that situation as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God DCUM is so weird.
I don’t mind if someone asks where something is from and assuming I remember I will tell them.
Why wouldn’t I? No one I know is going to copy my whole wardrobe and I’m not insecure. If I got something cute from Anthro, Amazon, or spent $4k on a dress from a boutique I’m an open book.

+1. And seriously, who the F cares if they do decide to “copy” you?

I do. I care. I put a lot of effort into my style, which is distinctive, and I don't like having a woman in my social circle copying exact items from my wardrobe. If you want to do it, I can't stop you, but I'm not going to *help* you by providing you an itemized list of everything I'm wearing and where I bought it.

Why so insecure?

+1
Plus they didn’t just make one of everything you own 🙄

This only applies to distinctive items. No one cares about basics and neutrals.

Also, who is more insecure: the woman who politely declines to share where she bought something by saying "oh I can't remember," of the woman walking around parties asking multiple women where their clothes came from and then rushing home to google the items to find out where they are from and how much they cost?

I think it's weird to want to dress like someone else. Dress like yourself.

Lying isn't "politely declining." That would be saying, "I'd rather not say." It's the disingenuousness that's the issue. You DO know, but you're not comfortable telling people outright that you don't want them to copy you - assuming they do - so you give a BS reply.

It's not weird at all to admire something someone else is wearing, especially if you think it would look good on you. Copying someone's entire wardrobe, yes, that's weird. But an article of clothing here or there? Totally normal.

No, in this case the white lie is more polite because it raises fewer questions. If you said "Is rather not say," people are more likely to be hurt by it.

I don't think it's weird to ask after an item you really like once in a blue moon, but OP describes a situation where she asked 3 women she didn't know about their clothes at the same party. That's way too much and I would find it weird and say "oh I can't remember" in that situation as well.

No, she's describing a situation in which she asked once and then saw two other people ask the same woman and get the same response. Different scenario.

We can agree to disagree about lying and politeness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God DCUM is so weird.
I don’t mind if someone asks where something is from and assuming I remember I will tell them.
Why wouldn’t I? No one I know is going to copy my whole wardrobe and I’m not insecure. If I got something cute from Anthro, Amazon, or spent $4k on a dress from a boutique I’m an open book.

+1. And seriously, who the F cares if they do decide to “copy” you?

I do. I care. I put a lot of effort into my style, which is distinctive, and I don't like having a woman in my social circle copying exact items from my wardrobe. If you want to do it, I can't stop you, but I'm not going to *help* you by providing you an itemized list of everything I'm wearing and where I bought it.

Why so insecure?

+1
Plus they didn’t just make one of everything you own 🙄

This only applies to distinctive items. No one cares about basics and neutrals.

Also, who is more insecure: the woman who politely declines to share where she bought something by saying "oh I can't remember," of the woman walking around parties asking multiple women where their clothes came from and then rushing home to google the items to find out where they are from and how much they cost?

I think it's weird to want to dress like someone else. Dress like yourself.

I hear ya’
However, I simply choose to be kind.

If I’m asked I share. Always.

I can’t be concerned with how others may look or what they do with the info I’ve shared.

The word "kind" is not defined by your values so this proclamation is meaningless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God DCUM is so weird.
I don’t mind if someone asks where something is from and assuming I remember I will tell them.
Why wouldn’t I? No one I know is going to copy my whole wardrobe and I’m not insecure. If I got something cute from Anthro, Amazon, or spent $4k on a dress from a boutique I’m an open book.

+1. And seriously, who the F cares if they do decide to “copy” you?

I do. I care. I put a lot of effort into my style, which is distinctive, and I don't like having a woman in my social circle copying exact items from my wardrobe. If you want to do it, I can't stop you, but I'm not going to *help* you by providing you an itemized list of everything I'm wearing and where I bought it.

Why so insecure?

+1
Plus they didn’t just make one of everything you own 🙄

This only applies to distinctive items. No one cares about basics and neutrals.

Also, who is more insecure: the woman who politely declines to share where she bought something by saying "oh I can't remember," of the woman walking around parties asking multiple women where their clothes came from and then rushing home to google the items to find out where they are from and how much they cost?

I think it's weird to want to dress like someone else. Dress like yourself.

Lying isn't "politely declining." That would be saying, "I'd rather not say." It's the disingenuousness that's the issue. You DO know, but you're not comfortable telling people outright that you don't want them to copy you - assuming they do - so you give a BS reply.

It's not weird at all to admire something someone else is wearing, especially if you think it would look good on you. Copying someone's entire wardrobe, yes, that's weird. But an article of clothing here or there? Totally normal.

No, in this case the white lie is more polite because it raises fewer questions. If you said "Is rather not say," people are more likely to be hurt by it.

I don't think it's weird to ask after an item you really like once in a blue moon, but OP describes a situation where she asked 3 women she didn't know about their clothes at the same party. That's way too much and I would find it weird and say "oh I can't remember" in that situation as well.

No, she's describing a situation in which she asked once and then saw two other people ask the same woman and get the same response. Different scenario.

We can agree to disagree about lying and politeness.

If you agree to disagree, then why offer your correction, starting with "No.."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God DCUM is so weird.
I don’t mind if someone asks where something is from and assuming I remember I will tell them.
Why wouldn’t I? No one I know is going to copy my whole wardrobe and I’m not insecure. If I got something cute from Anthro, Amazon, or spent $4k on a dress from a boutique I’m an open book.

+1. And seriously, who the F cares if they do decide to “copy” you?

Women aren't thrilled to be wearing the same sweater as someone else. Where are you from that you love matching your friends and wearing the same things? If the only place you can all shop is Walmart then I guess you have no choice. Just shop where you like and buy what you want.