I cannot believe there are still people out there spanking their children...

[Anonymous]

Where my "I'll give you something to cry about!" generation kids at?

My friend and I were talking this weekend about how kids today would not have survived our upbringing in the 90s...no sunscreen, no helmets, never drank water, and were expected to behave in public or face the consequences later (or if your mom was among friends, get spanked and humiliated right in front of 'em).

It might not have been the best to spank, but let's call it like it is: we didn't have droves of teachers quitting back then because of the terrible student behavior. The most scandalous thing a peer of mine ever said to a teacher was something like "can we crack the window? your sweater smells funny." I have friends who are teachers who have been physically assaulted by students more than once. Why do they do it? Because there are no consequences. When a kid acted so badly that they were disruptive, they were put in a self-contained classroom. The good of the masses was greater than the good of the one. Now it's all about keeping things equal. That's fine and dandy in theory but sh!t in practice. My kid's 3rd grade classroom was evacuated at least once a week because of a disruptive student. And what did the student's peers learn? If you trashed a classroom and acted like a fool, you got to go see the principal where you were given cookies to calm down...while your good peers cleaned up and restored their classroom back to normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP: Clearly, you are all using different definitions for the word "spanking." Some of you say they were like swats, or stings. Others say their spankings were abusive beatings, causing pain, terror, and mental anguish. Those are two very different things. They will have very different effects on a child.

Did the spankings not hurt much? Were they infrequent? Delivered with love rather than anger? Did they leave marks?Were you sobbing in pain, laying in a puddle on the floor afterwards? Did you no longer feel safe in your own home? Did you know inside you that you deserved the abuse?

Yea. Different things.

I have had some spankings delivered with love….but not from my parents.

I am shocked how many people jump to assuming kids who aren’t spanked are poorly behaved. Just because you are a lazy and bad parent doesn’t mean the rest of us are too. I have never spanked my child and they are very well behaved.

Great. So your one and only is well behaved and did not require spanking as a form of discipline. All children are not alike, even those raised in the same home with the same parents and same rules. One child may require a stern look. Another child may require a sit down and conversation regarding actions and consequences. The third child may require the first two options plus removal of pleasurable activities. And the fourth child may require all of the previous actions with no success. One of those children may require a good swat before s/he becomes that well-behaved child. Different strokes for different personalities.

No children require spankings. Sorry you had more kids than you could handle.

[Anonymous]

I have a very difficult child (adoption trauma after spending time in an orphanage), and some of her behaviors were extreme, albeit understandable for an adopted child. I had a former friend MAIL me the book "How to Train Up a Child" and try to convince me to use this method on my "willful, disobedient child". I felt physically ill getting the book in the mail since I knew what it espoused, and tore it to shreds before putting it into the garbage.

When I watched the recent documentary on the Duggars, I had to turn it off when they were showing the spanking. It's grotesque

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP: Clearly, you are all using different definitions for the word "spanking." Some of you say they were like swats, or stings. Others say their spankings were abusive beatings, causing pain, terror, and mental anguish. Those are two very different things. They will have very different effects on a child.

Did the spankings not hurt much? Were they infrequent? Delivered with love rather than anger? Did they leave marks?Were you sobbing in pain, laying in a puddle on the floor afterwards? Did you no longer feel safe in your own home? Did you know inside you that you deserved the abuse?

Yea. Different things.

I have had some spankings delivered with love….but not from my parents.

I am shocked how many people jump to assuming kids who aren’t spanked are poorly behaved. Just because you are a lazy and bad parent doesn’t mean the rest of us are too. I have never spanked my child and they are very well behaved.

Great. So your one and only is well behaved and did not require spanking as a form of discipline. All children are not alike, even those raised in the same home with the same parents and same rules. One child may require a stern look. Another child may require a sit down and conversation regarding actions and consequences. The third child may require the first two options plus removal of pleasurable activities. And the fourth child may require all of the previous actions with no success. One of those children may require a good swat before s/he becomes that well-behaved child. Different strokes for different personalities.

No children require spankings. Sorry you had more kids than you could handle.

+1. That was my take away as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP: Clearly, you are all using different definitions for the word "spanking." Some of you say they were like swats, or stings. Others say their spankings were abusive beatings, causing pain, terror, and mental anguish. Those are two very different things. They will have very different effects on a child.

Did the spankings not hurt much? Were they infrequent? Delivered with love rather than anger? Did they leave marks?Were you sobbing in pain, laying in a puddle on the floor afterwards? Did you no longer feel safe in your own home? Did you know inside you that you deserved the abuse?

Yea. Different things.

I have had some spankings delivered with love….but not from my parents.

I am shocked how many people jump to assuming kids who aren’t spanked are poorly behaved. Just because you are a lazy and bad parent doesn’t mean the rest of us are too. I have never spanked my child and they are very well behaved.

Great. So your one and only is well behaved and did not require spanking as a form of discipline. All children are not alike, even those raised in the same home with the same parents and same rules. One child may require a stern look. Another child may require a sit down and conversation regarding actions and consequences. The third child may require the first two options plus removal of pleasurable activities. And the fourth child may require all of the previous actions with no success. One of those children may require a good swat before s/he becomes that well-behaved child. Different strokes for different personalities.

No children require spankings. Sorry you had more kids than you could handle.

Listen dumbass, whether someone has one kid or ten kids, all kids are not alike. They respond to different things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP: Clearly, you are all using different definitions for the word "spanking." Some of you say they were like swats, or stings. Others say their spankings were abusive beatings, causing pain, terror, and mental anguish. Those are two very different things. They will have very different effects on a child.

Did the spankings not hurt much? Were they infrequent? Delivered with love rather than anger? Did they leave marks?Were you sobbing in pain, laying in a puddle on the floor afterwards? Did you no longer feel safe in your own home? Did you know inside you that you deserved the abuse?

Yea. Different things.

I have had some spankings delivered with love….but not from my parents.

I am shocked how many people jump to assuming kids who aren’t spanked are poorly behaved. Just because you are a lazy and bad parent doesn’t mean the rest of us are too. I have never spanked my child and they are very well behaved.

Great. So your one and only is well behaved and did not require spanking as a form of discipline. All children are not alike, even those raised in the same home with the same parents and same rules. One child may require a stern look. Another child may require a sit down and conversation regarding actions and consequences. The third child may require the first two options plus removal of pleasurable activities. And the fourth child may require all of the previous actions with no success. One of those children may require a good swat before s/he becomes that well-behaved child. Different strokes for different personalities.

No children require spankings. Sorry you had more kids than you could handle.

+1. That was my take away as well.

Dumbo number two^

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP: Clearly, you are all using different definitions for the word "spanking." Some of you say they were like swats, or stings. Others say their spankings were abusive beatings, causing pain, terror, and mental anguish. Those are two very different things. They will have very different effects on a child.

Did the spankings not hurt much? Were they infrequent? Delivered with love rather than anger? Did they leave marks?Were you sobbing in pain, laying in a puddle on the floor afterwards? Did you no longer feel safe in your own home? Did you know inside you that you deserved the abuse?

Yea. Different things.

I have had some spankings delivered with love….but not from my parents.

I am shocked how many people jump to assuming kids who aren’t spanked are poorly behaved. Just because you are a lazy and bad parent doesn’t mean the rest of us are too. I have never spanked my child and they are very well behaved.

Great. So your one and only is well behaved and did not require spanking as a form of discipline. All children are not alike, even those raised in the same home with the same parents and same rules. One child may require a stern look. Another child may require a sit down and conversation regarding actions and consequences. The third child may require the first two options plus removal of pleasurable activities. And the fourth child may require all of the previous actions with no success. One of those children may require a good swat before s/he becomes that well-behaved child. Different strokes for different personalities.

No children require spankings. Sorry you had more kids than you could handle.

I have one child. Yes he was spanked. Yes, his college is fully funded. No he will not need it for undergrad because he received merit aid. I think he turned out pretty damn good, spankings and all. It is too bad you do not understand logic.

[Anonymous]

I was spanked when I was a child, at home and at school. It didn't do me any harm at all.

[Anonymous]

What a depressing thread. Seriously how are you people not ashamed? The American Academy of Pediatrics has taken a strong stand against spanking, for good reason. I can’t believe so many people are on here advocating against medical advice, because they want to hit their kids. Disgusting. It isn’t an effective form of discipline in the long run and yes maybe you can scare the crap out of your kid in the short term but at what cost. It also used to be fine for men to hit their wives. Now we know better so we do better (hopefully). When will you guys catch up with regard to your kids?

And all you idiots claiming to never spank in anger are full of crap. My parents were generally really calm disciplinarians who belonged to a church that believed in spanking. The vast majority of the time they were calm and collected about it. But the one time I saw my mom hit my brother angrily is still with me to this day. I know she regrets it and has to live with it. It should be a red line you never cross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP: Clearly, you are all using different definitions for the word "spanking." Some of you say they were like swats, or stings. Others say their spankings were abusive beatings, causing pain, terror, and mental anguish. Those are two very different things. They will have very different effects on a child.

Did the spankings not hurt much? Were they infrequent? Delivered with love rather than anger? Did they leave marks?Were you sobbing in pain, laying in a puddle on the floor afterwards? Did you no longer feel safe in your own home? Did you know inside you that you deserved the abuse?

Yea. Different things.

I have had some spankings delivered with love….but not from my parents.

I am shocked how many people jump to assuming kids who aren’t spanked are poorly behaved. Just because you are a lazy and bad parent doesn’t mean the rest of us are too. I have never spanked my child and they are very well behaved.

Great. So your one and only is well behaved and did not require spanking as a form of discipline. All children are not alike, even those raised in the same home with the same parents and same rules. One child may require a stern look. Another child may require a sit down and conversation regarding actions and consequences. The third child may require the first two options plus removal of pleasurable activities. And the fourth child may require all of the previous actions with no success. One of those children may require a good swat before s/he becomes that well-behaved child. Different strokes for different personalities.

No children require spankings. Sorry you had more kids than you could handle.

I have one child. Yes he was spanked. Yes, his college is fully funded. No he will not need it for undergrad because he received merit aid. I think he turned out pretty damn good, spankings and all. It is too bad you do not understand logic.

Sorry parent, but you just don’t get it.

Abused children are often high and over achieving perfectionists who do incredibly well professionally. And their mad spanking parents love to take all the credit for it. When the same kids are falling apart in middle age as their own parenting journey triggers all their internalized anger from how their parents mistreated them, suddenly mad spanking parents don’t have any responsibility. If you visit the forums for parents whose kids have estranged from them, you’ll find lots of folks just like yourself who know absolutely nothing about how their children really feel about years of spanking and shaming humiliation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a depressing thread. Seriously how are you people not ashamed? The American Academy of Pediatrics has taken a strong stand against spanking, for good reason. I can’t believe so many people are on here advocating against medical advice, because they want to hit their kids. Disgusting. It isn’t an effective form of discipline in the long run and yes maybe you can scare the crap out of your kid in the short term but at what cost. It also used to be fine for men to hit their wives. Now we know better so we do better (hopefully). When will you guys catch up with regard to your kids?

And all you idiots claiming to never spank in anger are full of crap. My parents were generally really calm disciplinarians who belonged to a church that believed in spanking. The vast majority of the time they were calm and collected about it. But the one time I saw my mom hit my brother angrily is still with me to this day. I know she regrets it and has to live with it. It should be a red line you never cross.

I wish AAP would get out of some of this politicized social science stuff. It undermines their credibility on actual medical issues and it's important that they are viewed as an impartial trustworthy organization.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP: Clearly, you are all using different definitions for the word "spanking." Some of you say they were like swats, or stings. Others say their spankings were abusive beatings, causing pain, terror, and mental anguish. Those are two very different things. They will have very different effects on a child.

Did the spankings not hurt much? Were they infrequent? Delivered with love rather than anger? Did they leave marks?Were you sobbing in pain, laying in a puddle on the floor afterwards? Did you no longer feel safe in your own home? Did you know inside you that you deserved the abuse?

Yea. Different things.

I have had some spankings delivered with love….but not from my parents.

I am shocked how many people jump to assuming kids who aren’t spanked are poorly behaved. Just because you are a lazy and bad parent doesn’t mean the rest of us are too. I have never spanked my child and they are very well behaved.

Great. So your one and only is well behaved and did not require spanking as a form of discipline. All children are not alike, even those raised in the same home with the same parents and same rules. One child may require a stern look. Another child may require a sit down and conversation regarding actions and consequences. The third child may require the first two options plus removal of pleasurable activities. And the fourth child may require all of the previous actions with no success. One of those children may require a good swat before s/he becomes that well-behaved child. Different strokes for different personalities.

No children require spankings. Sorry you had more kids than you could handle.

I have one child. Yes he was spanked. Yes, his college is fully funded. No he will not need it for undergrad because he received merit aid. I think he turned out pretty damn good, spankings and all. It is too bad you do not understand logic.

Sorry parent, but you just don’t get it.

Abused children are often high and over achieving perfectionists who do incredibly well professionally. And their mad spanking parents love to take all the credit for it. When the same kids are falling apart in middle age as their own parenting journey triggers all their internalized anger from how their parents mistreated them, suddenly mad spanking parents don’t have any responsibility. If you visit the forums for parents whose kids have estranged from them, you’ll find lots of folks just like yourself who know absolutely nothing about how their children really feel about years of spanking and shaming humiliation.

DP. Statistically, the vast majority of adults were spanked as children. Some are successful, some unsuccessful. Some are perfectionists, some are not. Some hate their parents, some don't. Some are estranged, some are close.

Statistically, spanking doesn't raise or lower IQ, sexuality, or anything, since virtually every child was spanked as a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a depressing thread. Seriously how are you people not ashamed? The American Academy of Pediatrics has taken a strong stand against spanking, for good reason. I can’t believe so many people are on here advocating against medical advice, because they want to hit their kids. Disgusting. It isn’t an effective form of discipline in the long run and yes maybe you can scare the crap out of your kid in the short term but at what cost. It also used to be fine for men to hit their wives. Now we know better so we do better (hopefully). When will you guys catch up with regard to your kids?

And all you idiots claiming to never spank in anger are full of crap. My parents were generally really calm disciplinarians who belonged to a church that believed in spanking. The vast majority of the time they were calm and collected about it. But the one time I saw my mom hit my brother angrily is still with me to this day. I know she regrets it and has to live with it. It should be a red line you never cross.

I wish AAP would get out of some of this politicized social science stuff. It undermines their credibility on actual medical issues and it's important that they are viewed as an impartial trustworthy organization.

It's not politicized simply because you don't like what the evidence shows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP: Clearly, you are all using different definitions for the word "spanking." Some of you say they were like swats, or stings. Others say their spankings were abusive beatings, causing pain, terror, and mental anguish. Those are two very different things. They will have very different effects on a child.

Did the spankings not hurt much? Were they infrequent? Delivered with love rather than anger? Did they leave marks?Were you sobbing in pain, laying in a puddle on the floor afterwards? Did you no longer feel safe in your own home? Did you know inside you that you deserved the abuse?

Yea. Different things.

I have had some spankings delivered with love….but not from my parents.

I am shocked how many people jump to assuming kids who aren’t spanked are poorly behaved. Just because you are a lazy and bad parent doesn’t mean the rest of us are too. I have never spanked my child and they are very well behaved.

Great. So your one and only is well behaved and did not require spanking as a form of discipline. All children are not alike, even those raised in the same home with the same parents and same rules. One child may require a stern look. Another child may require a sit down and conversation regarding actions and consequences. The third child may require the first two options plus removal of pleasurable activities. And the fourth child may require all of the previous actions with no success. One of those children may require a good swat before s/he becomes that well-behaved child. Different strokes for different personalities.

No children require spankings. Sorry you had more kids than you could handle.

I have one child. Yes he was spanked. Yes, his college is fully funded. No he will not need it for undergrad because he received merit aid. I think he turned out pretty damn good, spankings and all. It is too bad you do not understand logic.

you do realize that the decision to spank or not to spank isnt about 'will they then get into college'.
i assume my kids will go to college regardless. I dont consider that an achievement of mine. separate issue: i have no interest in hitting children bc I'm not a psychopath.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP: Clearly, you are all using different definitions for the word "spanking." Some of you say they were like swats, or stings. Others say their spankings were abusive beatings, causing pain, terror, and mental anguish. Those are two very different things. They will have very different effects on a child.

Did the spankings not hurt much? Were they infrequent? Delivered with love rather than anger? Did they leave marks?Were you sobbing in pain, laying in a puddle on the floor afterwards? Did you no longer feel safe in your own home? Did you know inside you that you deserved the abuse?

Yea. Different things.

I have had some spankings delivered with love….but not from my parents.

I am shocked how many people jump to assuming kids who aren’t spanked are poorly behaved. Just because you are a lazy and bad parent doesn’t mean the rest of us are too. I have never spanked my child and they are very well behaved.

Great. So your one and only is well behaved and did not require spanking as a form of discipline. All children are not alike, even those raised in the same home with the same parents and same rules. One child may require a stern look. Another child may require a sit down and conversation regarding actions and consequences. The third child may require the first two options plus removal of pleasurable activities. And the fourth child may require all of the previous actions with no success. One of those children may require a good swat before s/he becomes that well-behaved child. Different strokes for different personalities.

No children require spankings. Sorry you had more kids than you could handle.

I have one child. Yes he was spanked. Yes, his college is fully funded. No he will not need it for undergrad because he received merit aid. I think he turned out pretty damn good, spankings and all. It is too bad you do not understand logic.

Sorry parent, but you just don’t get it.

Abused children are often high and over achieving perfectionists who do incredibly well professionally. And their mad spanking parents love to take all the credit for it. When the same kids are falling apart in middle age as their own parenting journey triggers all their internalized anger from how their parents mistreated them, suddenly mad spanking parents don’t have any responsibility. If you visit the forums for parents whose kids have estranged from them, you’ll find lots of folks just like yourself who know absolutely nothing about how their children really feel about years of spanking and shaming humiliation.

DP. Statistically, the vast majority of adults were spanked as children. Some are successful, some unsuccessful. Some are perfectionists, some are not. Some hate their parents, some don't. Some are estranged, some are close.

Statistically, spanking doesn't raise or lower IQ, sexuality, or anything, since virtually every child was spanked as a child.

I grew up in england in the 80s. I remember even as a child, occasionally being at friends houses and they were spanked and I thought (child version of) 'what the actual f'.
It's just so lazy and ill informed and ignorant and so so so gross for an adult to hit a child. like - it's your job to do better and find a million other ways to teach them how to be rather than hitting them. there are SO MANY.
- take a minute
- removal of thing
- no ipad
- no tv
- make amends
- 'boring time' in room or other place
- chores

I could go on. ALL these things suck for kids. hitting is for parents too lazy to consider the myriad other alternatives. DO BETTER.