The Golden Bachelor

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They both have talked about hoping to travel...Ok,
so maybe they have realistically maybe eight to ten/twelve years to do that if all goes well. Statistically, traveling after he's 85 is unlikely. And then the odds are she will become his caregiver at some point. So, I just don't see the romance here and I'm not a cynic. There are also adult children to "blend" (all daughters which have been very involved with their widowed parent...so also likely to be complicated). And there's likely a lot of money involved (see Theresa's house in Shrewsbury which I'm sure is only one part of an extensive baby boomer portfolio!). I hope she's smart enough to protect herself.

Do you have details about her home?

Her house in Shrewsbury IS TINY and only woth 568k. What are you talking about. My house is worth 6 times that and I'm a nobody.

You are either uninformed or purposely feigning ignorance.

If you own a multimillion dollar home, you are far from the average American. (Who will never own even a million dollars in assets)

I realize that. But people are acting like she is rich because she has a 500k home. That is laughable.

She paid 300something for it, about the same price Gerry paid for his. Leslie's condo was 250k. They're all roughly the same in terms of living standard.

+1. Plus if it’s paid off, and if she also has, say, a $1m investment portfolio, maybe even a pension from her own or her husband’s work, she’s doing just fine. Not DCUM rich, but definitely comfortable.

Theresa is 72. She doesn’t need her assets to last for 50 more years. She probably doesn’t want the upkeep on a larger house—I don’t now my kids have fledged, and I have house cleaners and a lawn crew. Plus she (currently) lives really close to her kids and grandkids, so she doesn’t need a lot of guest bedrooms.

Check in here when you’re 72 and tell us if you’re still ok with hiring lawn crews and house cleaners for a huge house you don’t use. Plus downsizing is a gift to your kids—my mom downsized after spending months cleaning out my grandparents’ huge house.

You people insisting a 72-year-old needs to pay DMV prices for a large house have the wrong end of the stick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They both have talked about hoping to travel...Ok,
so maybe they have realistically maybe eight to ten/twelve years to do that if all goes well. Statistically, traveling after he's 85 is unlikely. And then the odds are she will become his caregiver at some point. So, I just don't see the romance here and I'm not a cynic. There are also adult children to "blend" (all daughters which have been very involved with their widowed parent...so also likely to be complicated). And there's likely a lot of money involved (see Theresa's house in Shrewsbury which I'm sure is only one part of an extensive baby boomer portfolio!). I hope she's smart enough to protect herself.

Do you have details about her home?

Her house in Shrewsbury IS TINY and only woth 568k. What are you talking about. My house is worth 6 times that and I'm a nobody.

You are either uninformed or purposely feigning ignorance.

If you own a multimillion dollar home, you are far from the average American. (Who will never own even a million dollars in assets)

I realize that. But people are acting like she is rich because she has a 500k home. That is laughable.

She paid 300something for it, about the same price Gerry paid for his. Leslie's condo was 250k. They're all roughly the same in terms of living standard.

+1. Plus if it’s paid off, and if she also has, say, a $1m investment portfolio, maybe even a pension from her own or her husband’s work, she’s doing just fine. Not DCUM rich, but definitely comfortable.

Theresa is 72. She doesn’t need her assets to last for 50 more years. She probably doesn’t want the upkeep on a larger house—I don’t now my kids have fledged, and I have house cleaners and a lawn crew. Plus she (currently) lives really close to her kids and grandkids, so she doesn’t need a lot of guest bedrooms.

Check in here when you’re 72 and tell us if you’re still ok with hiring lawn crews and house cleaners for a huge house you don’t use. Plus downsizing is a gift to your kids—my mom downsized after spending months cleaning out my grandparents’ huge house.

You people insisting a 72-year-old needs to pay DMV prices for a large house have the wrong end of the stick.

Yes, my guess is her net worth is along these lines. Better off than Gerry, but probably not massively so. Toni had a steady income in a modest job and he, as we know, had a series of random, increasingly menial jobs over the years. The question is whether they were able to save much. She worked steadily until she was 68, so maybe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My favorite Gerry spin is when he said his post-retirement gigs were not due to financial need but rather were "service to the community." Lol, maintenance man.

A paid maintenance man job to serve the community LOL. He could have volunteered. He is a liar.

I hope not, for Theresa’s sake, but it would be fascinating if he’s just a total con artist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My favorite Gerry spin is when he said his post-retirement gigs were not due to financial need but rather were "service to the community." Lol, maintenance man.

A paid maintenance man job to serve the community LOL. He could have volunteered. He is a liar.

I hope not, for Theresa’s sake, but it would be fascinating if he’s just a total con artist.

He's an odd one, hard to know. My guess is that he bought into his own hype, and became invested in his new persona. Just denies anything that doesn't fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They both have talked about hoping to travel...Ok,
so maybe they have realistically maybe eight to ten/twelve years to do that if all goes well. Statistically, traveling after he's 85 is unlikely. And then the odds are she will become his caregiver at some point. So, I just don't see the romance here and I'm not a cynic. There are also adult children to "blend" (all daughters which have been very involved with their widowed parent...so also likely to be complicated). And there's likely a lot of money involved (see Theresa's house in Shrewsbury which I'm sure is only one part of an extensive baby boomer portfolio!). I hope she's smart enough to protect herself.

Do you have details about her home?

Her house in Shrewsbury IS TINY and only woth 568k. What are you talking about. My house is worth 6 times that and I'm a nobody.

Maybe she and her DH downsized once the kids were out of the house. He had kidney disease and may have been on disability for a while. He asked her to start working so that they wouldn't continue paying out of pocket for health insurance, which suggests he didn't have a corporate job. His obituary was beautiful, sounds like a very special man. No mention of his profession. Apparently Theresa got her love of gardening from him.

Yes maybe they downsized. But a 500k home doesn't make her rich....which was my point.

Of course not, but at her age in terms of years working as well as financial savvy, she likely has a large portfolio that she accrued over decades no? And she may have had a large windfall from her husband's life insurance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They both have talked about hoping to travel...Ok,
so maybe they have realistically maybe eight to ten/twelve years to do that if all goes well. Statistically, traveling after he's 85 is unlikely. And then the odds are she will become his caregiver at some point. So, I just don't see the romance here and I'm not a cynic. There are also adult children to "blend" (all daughters which have been very involved with their widowed parent...so also likely to be complicated). And there's likely a lot of money involved (see Theresa's house in Shrewsbury which I'm sure is only one part of an extensive baby boomer portfolio!). I hope she's smart enough to protect herself.

Do you have details about her home?

Her house in Shrewsbury IS TINY and only woth 568k. What are you talking about. My house is worth 6 times that and I'm a nobody.

Maybe she and her DH downsized once the kids were out of the house. He had kidney disease and may have been on disability for a while. He asked her to start working so that they wouldn't continue paying out of pocket for health insurance, which suggests he didn't have a corporate job. His obituary was beautiful, sounds like a very special man. No mention of his profession. Apparently Theresa got her love of gardening from him.

Yes maybe they downsized. But a 500k home doesn't make her rich....which was my point.

Of course not, but at her age in terms of years working as well as financial savvy, she likely has a large portfolio that she accrued over decades no? And she may have had a large windfall from her husband's life insurance.

Agree. She may not have a huge house (which she doesn't need) but I think she may have sizable investment portfolio, certainly as compared to Gerry, based on her profession/financial acumen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They both have talked about hoping to travel...Ok,
so maybe they have realistically maybe eight to ten/twelve years to do that if all goes well. Statistically, traveling after he's 85 is unlikely. And then the odds are she will become his caregiver at some point. So, I just don't see the romance here and I'm not a cynic. There are also adult children to "blend" (all daughters which have been very involved with their widowed parent...so also likely to be complicated). And there's likely a lot of money involved (see Theresa's house in Shrewsbury which I'm sure is only one part of an extensive baby boomer portfolio!). I hope she's smart enough to protect herself.

Do you have details about her home?

Her house in Shrewsbury IS TINY and only woth 568k. What are you talking about. My house is worth 6 times that and I'm a nobody.

Maybe she and her DH downsized once the kids were out of the house. He had kidney disease and may have been on disability for a while. He asked her to start working so that they wouldn't continue paying out of pocket for health insurance, which suggests he didn't have a corporate job. His obituary was beautiful, sounds like a very special man. No mention of his profession. Apparently Theresa got her love of gardening from him.

Yes maybe they downsized. But a 500k home doesn't make her rich....which was my point.

Of course not, but at her age in terms of years working as well as financial savvy, she likely has a large portfolio that she accrued over decades no? And she may have had a large windfall from her husband's life insurance.

Agree. She may not have a huge house (which she doesn't need) but I think she may have sizable investment portfolio, certainly as compared to Gerry, based on her profession/financial acumen.

This could work out quite well since they both have or will come in to a sizable paycheck (him for GB and both of them for the wedding payout). Theresa can manage the funds!

I saw on some interview clip that Theresa said she taught him how to say her name correctly. (not tree-sa, but Ter-EE-sa. )She also said that when she watches herself back on the shows, she can see that she was so uncomfortable in front of the cameras, and that she came out of her stilted shell when the cameras were gone in the overnight dates. And that's when Gerry said he really got to know her and knew she was the one.

You may recall that Lauren (from Arie's season) also had a very hard time being "normal" in front of the camera-people. But, ultimately, Arie and Lauren have made it work long term.

What we see on camera is not always a true representation of who someone is. I'm sure many of us would be very awkward trying to date someone with three camera-people dressed in black and putting the spotlight on us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok this made me lol. From reddit:

I think everyone will end up happy!

I'm envisioning it playing out something like this:

Gerry desperately tries to rush the wedding BEFORE a complete picture of him emerges. Consequently, he isolates Theresa in a rural Italian village and away from mainstream American media until Jan 4th.

Once The GB perks are gone, Gerry will convince Theresa to stay in a "quaint" hostel until Jan 4 and take on a gig as a vineyard farm laborer to cover any leftover expenses. Theresa will have her moment of clarity while crying and stomping grapes, Lucy Ricardo-style. She runs away in the middle of the night.

Meanwhile, Leslie is killing it on DWTS! Sexy AF and burning the candle at both ends after rehearsals with Pete Davidson and his BDE, she nails that mirrorball trophy!

Back in Italy, penniless Theresa is desperately roaming the Italian countryside--Gerry has confiscated her credit cards, so HE gets to pay for their cheapo dinners. Theresa eventually stows away on a Greek freightliner. Once back in the states, she trauma bonds with Leslie, who sets her up with Machine Gun Kelly. Theresa takes the DWTS trophy the following year.

It all ends with a lavish double wedding for our beautiful cougars and their cubs! Addicted to the Italian tipping standard of 0%, Gerry refuses to ever leave.

This is HILARIOUS.

Omg. I am dying of laughter. Thanks for this PP!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok this made me lol. From reddit:

I think everyone will end up happy!

I'm envisioning it playing out something like this:

Gerry desperately tries to rush the wedding BEFORE a complete picture of him emerges. Consequently, he isolates Theresa in a rural Italian village and away from mainstream American media until Jan 4th.

Once The GB perks are gone, Gerry will convince Theresa to stay in a "quaint" hostel until Jan 4 and take on a gig as a vineyard farm laborer to cover any leftover expenses. Theresa will have her moment of clarity while crying and stomping grapes, Lucy Ricardo-style. She runs away in the middle of the night.

Meanwhile, Leslie is killing it on DWTS! Sexy AF and burning the candle at both ends after rehearsals with Pete Davidson and his BDE, she nails that mirrorball trophy!

Back in Italy, penniless Theresa is desperately roaming the Italian countryside--Gerry has confiscated her credit cards, so HE gets to pay for their cheapo dinners. Theresa eventually stows away on a Greek freightliner. Once back in the states, she trauma bonds with Leslie, who sets her up with Machine Gun Kelly. Theresa takes the DWTS trophy the following year.

It all ends with a lavish double wedding for our beautiful cougars and their cubs! Addicted to the Italian tipping standard of 0%, Gerry refuses to ever leave.

This is HILARIOUS.

Omg. I am dying of laughter. Thanks for this PP!!!!!

Love it.

I think Leslie really would be great on DWTS and it would be way healthier for her than being the Golden Bachelorette. She’s got a dance background. Maybe she can leverage this into something more lucrative than posting stuff on Instagram.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gerry and Theresa had a good, long virtual interview with Katie Couric. He addressed some of the criticisms, but basically with his usual scripted answers. So, I think you either accept his response or you don't. Theresa seemed tired and a little deflated, but generally ok.

Katie posted beforehand to ask what questions she should ask. I and a lot of other women asked her to ask him about the Hollywood Reporter article. (I need to use synonyms for ask!) Anyway, does anyone have a link to that interview? I can’t find it.

It's a pretty long interview, nearly 30 mins:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RY2NDYbYAPU

He essentially said the HR article ex wasn't a long relationship like she said, then changed the subject. This is the second time he hasn't denied any of her specific assertions. Katie should have pressed him on that. He'd better be careful because my guess is his ex has the receipts. Theresa nods and smiles at everything he says. She's a little too agreeable imo, clearly accepts his side on all things and is just so happy to have been chosen. At times, Katie had to address Theresa directly to give her a chance to speak. Otherwise, Gerry would have talked the whole time.

I'm struck from the very beginning how unsettled Theresa is. Her chin is quivering a bit, and she's breathing fast. Not being a jerk -- I really hope she is okay. She never looked camera shy or nervous about that before, and I wonder what she's dealing with behind the scenes.

She’s got to be exhausted which leads to emotional vulnerability. If I were her (which I’m glad I’m not) I would be traumatized by it all. Who knows what Gerry is like off camera now. She may be seeing things she does not like about him (highly likely) and is too far in to back out—or so she thinks. The glitter may be starting to tarnish.

The latter is totally possible — from the Hollywood Reporter article, it sounded like he was all charm until he got the girlfriend to change jobs and move in with him, and then dropped the need to pay half the costs, etc on her (despite the fact that he wanted to pretend he was paying when he went out. My guess from reading the article was that he was so demanding about her moving in because he was looking for someone to share expenses with him. It’s also telling that he hasn’t denied any of her allegations, as far as I’ve heard. The Hollywood Reporter article said she showed them texts and they interviewed friends she talked to at the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok this made me lol. From reddit:

I think everyone will end up happy!

I'm envisioning it playing out something like this:

Gerry desperately tries to rush the wedding BEFORE a complete picture of him emerges. Consequently, he isolates Theresa in a rural Italian village and away from mainstream American media until Jan 4th.

Once The GB perks are gone, Gerry will convince Theresa to stay in a "quaint" hostel until Jan 4 and take on a gig as a vineyard farm laborer to cover any leftover expenses. Theresa will have her moment of clarity while crying and stomping grapes, Lucy Ricardo-style. She runs away in the middle of the night.

Meanwhile, Leslie is killing it on DWTS! Sexy AF and burning the candle at both ends after rehearsals with Pete Davidson and his BDE, she nails that mirrorball trophy!

Back in Italy, penniless Theresa is desperately roaming the Italian countryside--Gerry has confiscated her credit cards, so HE gets to pay for their cheapo dinners. Theresa eventually stows away on a Greek freightliner. Once back in the states, she trauma bonds with Leslie, who sets her up with Machine Gun Kelly. Theresa takes the DWTS trophy the following year.

It all ends with a lavish double wedding for our beautiful cougars and their cubs! Addicted to the Italian tipping standard of 0%, Gerry refuses to ever leave.

This is HILARIOUS.

Omg. I am dying of laughter. Thanks for this PP!!!!!

Love it.

I think Leslie really would be great on DWTS and it would be way healthier for her than being the Golden Bachelorette. She’s got a dance background. Maybe she can leverage this into something more lucrative than posting stuff on Instagram.

Would love to see her on DWTS, but would also like to see her as the Golden Bachelorette. Being empowered to be the "picker" rather than "pickee" would work better for her. Her sweetness, fun, and energy with a group of bachelors would be really fun to watch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok this made me lol. From reddit:

I think everyone will end up happy!

I'm envisioning it playing out something like this:

Gerry desperately tries to rush the wedding BEFORE a complete picture of him emerges. Consequently, he isolates Theresa in a rural Italian village and away from mainstream American media until Jan 4th.

Once The GB perks are gone, Gerry will convince Theresa to stay in a "quaint" hostel until Jan 4 and take on a gig as a vineyard farm laborer to cover any leftover expenses. Theresa will have her moment of clarity while crying and stomping grapes, Lucy Ricardo-style. She runs away in the middle of the night.

Meanwhile, Leslie is killing it on DWTS! Sexy AF and burning the candle at both ends after rehearsals with Pete Davidson and his BDE, she nails that mirrorball trophy!

Back in Italy, penniless Theresa is desperately roaming the Italian countryside--Gerry has confiscated her credit cards, so HE gets to pay for their cheapo dinners. Theresa eventually stows away on a Greek freightliner. Once back in the states, she trauma bonds with Leslie, who sets her up with Machine Gun Kelly. Theresa takes the DWTS trophy the following year.

It all ends with a lavish double wedding for our beautiful cougars and their cubs! Addicted to the Italian tipping standard of 0%, Gerry refuses to ever leave.

This is HILARIOUS.

Omg. I am dying of laughter. Thanks for this PP!!!!!

Love it.

I think Leslie really would be great on DWTS and it would be way healthier for her than being the Golden Bachelorette. She’s got a dance background. Maybe she can leverage this into something more lucrative than posting stuff on Instagram.

Would love to see her on DWTS, but would also like to see her as the Golden Bachelorette. Being empowered to be the "picker" rather than "pickee" would work better for her. Her sweetness, fun, and energy with a group of bachelors would be really fun to watch.

She's my choice for GB, too. I just feel that Ellen, Joan, or Faith would be more boring to watch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok this made me lol. From reddit:

I think everyone will end up happy!

I'm envisioning it playing out something like this:

Gerry desperately tries to rush the wedding BEFORE a complete picture of him emerges. Consequently, he isolates Theresa in a rural Italian village and away from mainstream American media until Jan 4th.

Once The GB perks are gone, Gerry will convince Theresa to stay in a "quaint" hostel until Jan 4 and take on a gig as a vineyard farm laborer to cover any leftover expenses. Theresa will have her moment of clarity while crying and stomping grapes, Lucy Ricardo-style. She runs away in the middle of the night.

Meanwhile, Leslie is killing it on DWTS! Sexy AF and burning the candle at both ends after rehearsals with Pete Davidson and his BDE, she nails that mirrorball trophy!

Back in Italy, penniless Theresa is desperately roaming the Italian countryside--Gerry has confiscated her credit cards, so HE gets to pay for their cheapo dinners. Theresa eventually stows away on a Greek freightliner. Once back in the states, she trauma bonds with Leslie, who sets her up with Machine Gun Kelly. Theresa takes the DWTS trophy the following year.

It all ends with a lavish double wedding for our beautiful cougars and their cubs! Addicted to the Italian tipping standard of 0%, Gerry refuses to ever leave.

This is HILARIOUS.

Omg. I am dying of laughter. Thanks for this PP!!!!!

Love it.

I think Leslie really would be great on DWTS and it would be way healthier for her than being the Golden Bachelorette. She’s got a dance background. Maybe she can leverage this into something more lucrative than posting stuff on Instagram.

Would love to see her on DWTS, but would also like to see her as the Golden Bachelorette. Being empowered to be the "picker" rather than "pickee" would work better for her. Her sweetness, fun, and energy with a group of bachelors would be really fun to watch.

She's my choice for GB, too. I just feel that Ellen, Joan, or Faith would be more boring to watch.

Joan and Faith would be terribly boring.

Ellen is sweet but I think casting would be too hard given her age. (Plus there’s the accent, which doesn’t bother me personally but is a turn off).

Susan and Sandra are amazing and hilarious but I think both are too niche.

Edith is gorgeous and seems likeable but I haven’t seen enough of her personality to say if it would work.

April has the personality and looks to pull it off more than these others.

Leslie would be my pick as well, but if I had to pick whether to watch her on DWTS or GB I think I’d pick the former.

I’d love to see a Golden Bachelorette around 50. They could cast between 35 and 65, maybe even 30 to 70 for lols.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok this made me lol. From reddit:

I think everyone will end up happy!

I'm envisioning it playing out something like this:

Gerry desperately tries to rush the wedding BEFORE a complete picture of him emerges. Consequently, he isolates Theresa in a rural Italian village and away from mainstream American media until Jan 4th.

Once The GB perks are gone, Gerry will convince Theresa to stay in a "quaint" hostel until Jan 4 and take on a gig as a vineyard farm laborer to cover any leftover expenses. Theresa will have her moment of clarity while crying and stomping grapes, Lucy Ricardo-style. She runs away in the middle of the night.

Meanwhile, Leslie is killing it on DWTS! Sexy AF and burning the candle at both ends after rehearsals with Pete Davidson and his BDE, she nails that mirrorball trophy!

Back in Italy, penniless Theresa is desperately roaming the Italian countryside--Gerry has confiscated her credit cards, so HE gets to pay for their cheapo dinners. Theresa eventually stows away on a Greek freightliner. Once back in the states, she trauma bonds with Leslie, who sets her up with Machine Gun Kelly. Theresa takes the DWTS trophy the following year.

It all ends with a lavish double wedding for our beautiful cougars and their cubs! Addicted to the Italian tipping standard of 0%, Gerry refuses to ever leave.

This is HILARIOUS.

Omg. I am dying of laughter. Thanks for this PP!!!!!

Love it.

I think Leslie really would be great on DWTS and it would be way healthier for her than being the Golden Bachelorette. She’s got a dance background. Maybe she can leverage this into something more lucrative than posting stuff on Instagram.

Would love to see her on DWTS, but would also like to see her as the Golden Bachelorette. Being empowered to be the "picker" rather than "pickee" would work better for her. Her sweetness, fun, and energy with a group of bachelors would be really fun to watch.

She's my choice for GB, too. I just feel that Ellen, Joan, or Faith would be more boring to watch.

Joan and Faith would be terribly boring.

Ellen is sweet but I think casting would be too hard given her age. (Plus there’s the accent, which doesn’t bother me personally but is a turn off).

Susan and Sandra are amazing and hilarious but I think both are too niche.

Edith is gorgeous and seems likeable but I haven’t seen enough of her personality to say if it would work.

April has the personality and looks to pull it off more than these others.

Leslie would be my pick as well, but if I had to pick whether to watch her on DWTS or GB I think I’d pick the former.

I’d love to see a Golden Bachelorette around 50. They could cast between 35 and 65, maybe even 30 to 70 for lols.

Feel bad for saying this, but Ellen's accent is a real turnoff for me. Nails on a chalkboard. April is way too eccentric. Her talent show performance is bizarre. And, like Joan, she has that awful non-moving face thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok this made me lol. From reddit:

I think everyone will end up happy!

I'm envisioning it playing out something like this:

Gerry desperately tries to rush the wedding BEFORE a complete picture of him emerges. Consequently, he isolates Theresa in a rural Italian village and away from mainstream American media until Jan 4th.

Once The GB perks are gone, Gerry will convince Theresa to stay in a "quaint" hostel until Jan 4 and take on a gig as a vineyard farm laborer to cover any leftover expenses. Theresa will have her moment of clarity while crying and stomping grapes, Lucy Ricardo-style. She runs away in the middle of the night.

Meanwhile, Leslie is killing it on DWTS! Sexy AF and burning the candle at both ends after rehearsals with Pete Davidson and his BDE, she nails that mirrorball trophy!

Back in Italy, penniless Theresa is desperately roaming the Italian countryside--Gerry has confiscated her credit cards, so HE gets to pay for their cheapo dinners. Theresa eventually stows away on a Greek freightliner. Once back in the states, she trauma bonds with Leslie, who sets her up with Machine Gun Kelly. Theresa takes the DWTS trophy the following year.

It all ends with a lavish double wedding for our beautiful cougars and their cubs! Addicted to the Italian tipping standard of 0%, Gerry refuses to ever leave.

This is HILARIOUS.

Omg. I am dying of laughter. Thanks for this PP!!!!!

Love it.

I think Leslie really would be great on DWTS and it would be way healthier for her than being the Golden Bachelorette. She’s got a dance background. Maybe she can leverage this into something more lucrative than posting stuff on Instagram.

Would love to see her on DWTS, but would also like to see her as the Golden Bachelorette. Being empowered to be the "picker" rather than "pickee" would work better for her. Her sweetness, fun, and energy with a group of bachelors would be really fun to watch.

She's my choice for GB, too. I just feel that Ellen, Joan, or Faith would be more boring to watch.

Joan and Faith would be terribly boring.

Ellen is sweet but I think casting would be too hard given her age. (Plus there’s the accent, which doesn’t bother me personally but is a turn off).

Susan and Sandra are amazing and hilarious but I think both are too niche.

Edith is gorgeous and seems likeable but I haven’t seen enough of her personality to say if it would work.

April has the personality and looks to pull it off more than these others.

Leslie would be my pick as well, but if I had to pick whether to watch her on DWTS or GB I think I’d pick the former.

I’d love to see a Golden Bachelorette around 50. They could cast between 35 and 65, maybe even 30 to 70 for lols.

No reason Leslie couldn't do both, right? A la Kaitlyn Bristowe.