Annoying Things My Mother says...

[Anonymous]

I know my mother could die and I would miss her. But I love/hate her. Sometimes the annoyance is funny. Sometimes it is spittle-flecked hatred.

Why does she call air conditioning: air-COHN-Deesh? She will say: "I have a stiff neck because of deh air-cohn-DEESH".

Why is she an anti-semite?

Why does she care if I am wearing an un-ironed shirt?

.

[Anonymous]

Whenever my husband goes out of town: "I hope you locked the doors and checked all of the windows so you don't get murdered when you go to bed." Who says that???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whenever my husband goes out of town: "I hope you locked the doors and checked all of the windows so you don't get murdered when you go to bed." Who says that???

ROTFLMAO!

[Anonymous]

I believe my mother really thinks that it is a moral failing to not have a military-style haircut or wear white during the winter. Sometimes I want to get up from wherever I am talking to her and briskly walk away and leave her sitting in the restaurant or doctor's appointment or whatever I've been dragged to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whenever my husband goes out of town: "I hope you locked the doors and checked all of the windows so you don't get murdered when you go to bed." Who says that???

ROTFLMAO!

I'm glad it gave you a chuckle. I'm able to laugh at the things she says after I get over the "who says that???" aspect.

[Anonymous]

While driving me to my second sonogram, my mother made repeated reference to miscarriage. Who does that?

[Anonymous]

She damns my children with faint praise: "I see that Jacob is the one with the strongest opinions"....or "Sara doesn't like to be second place in anything does she?" No Mom she doesn't. No one really likes second place. Should they?

And she says: "You sleep without underwear? What if there was a fire, there you'd be in the street with no underwear on." Unbelievable. Her main occupation seems to be planting seeds of doubt in my mind.

[Anonymous]

My mother dies this crap all the time, her favorite thing is to make me second guess myself, then later she can say "why? Why don't you believe in your decisions?"
We went to a baby shower for my cousin, the second I walk in the door she looks at me and says, wow? Didn't feel like dressing up for the party? I was wearing exactly what everyone else was wearing, and I thought it looked cute, but apparently it didn't.
Either way, the entire party I just felt self conscious about what I was wearing.
Thanks mom!

[Anonymous]

As they get older it gets worse. It's like the toddler who says, "why is that lady fat?" with the volume on 10. Both DD and I are always prepared to slink down like we don't know my mom when we are in public with her. It's actually pretty hilarious after a while, but not if her comments are racial or hypercritical of people around her, including us!

[Anonymous]

When I get busy and dont call my mom till the end of the day - she always says....Where have you been all day??? It annoys the SH#@ out of me bc she is quite capable of calling me herself if she is worried.
Or when I call her in the morning on my way to work and tell her about my plans after work and she makes commments like - So am I going to see you all today? Mom....were you listening to any of our conversation??

[Anonymous]

"You'd better start restricting what DD eats, she's going to be fat."
(DD is 15 months old and 25% percentile for weight)

"DS seems totally fine to me."
(After a diagnosis of severe speech and fine motor delays and my struggles to find appropriate therapy and implement it at home)

"What do you mean, he's not reading yet?" (when DS was 5, after aforementioned diagnosis)

And my favorite, reiterated a billion times since DD was 3 months old:
"So when will you stop breastfeeding? Aren't you done nursing? DD really should be getting more nutritious food by now."
(After I explained the length and breadth of the benefits of breastmilk, and the importance of personal choice. Yes, personal choice, Mom!)

I have many, many, others. And yet, I adore my mother.

[Anonymous]

My very southern mother's solution to any life crisis, small or enormous:

"Just put a little lipstick on, sweetie. You'll feel better"

The really scary thing is that she is usually right.

[Anonymous]

More and more my mother comment are racial and anti semitic--and I am married to a Jewish man. She talks about hardball politics in front of the kids since they were toddlers--now they are 10 , 12--It like she is a German version of Helen Thomas. I almost cannot stand it.

[Anonymous]

Every ailment I ever complained about was "probably because of your period." It could be a headache, a bruise, strep throat, etc. If I said "I just finished my period," or "I am on my period," or "I haven't gotten my period yet," her reply was always "exactly."

[Anonymous]

I am PP, with the Helen Thomas mother. I also adore my my mother and would willingly do almost anything for her, except give up my sanity. She has slowly wrested that away from me over the years.