Tuition--not uber-wealthy but no FA

[Anonymous]

I figured it would cost about one million dollars to pay for two kids to go to one of these $30,000 plus schools from PK-12. How many families are paying for this who receive no FA and for whom this is not a drop in the bucket (ie. not very wealthy)? How do you justify the cost when you have college and retirement etc ahead? Or are there just not many families from this "middle" group at these schools until perhaps HS?

[Anonymous]

My parents put three kids through private school. It was Catholic school, so not as expensive as the "big 3", but HS was still about $10k, even 20 years ago. Mom was a nurse and dad worked for the Fed. They made education a priority. We didn't do a week at the beach, we went for a long weekend in September. They bought used cars and drove them until they died. They sacrificed a lot for us. They let us take loans and work in the summer to pay for college. Their house in a close in suburb that they owned for 30+ years is their retirement. It can be done.

[Anonymous]

We've got 1 in private right now with 2 more joining him in 2 years. We can't afford all tuitions and save for college and retirement. For different reasons, 1 of our 3 needs private (SN w/no public accomodation that really does what DD needs), 1 is much better in smaller classes, and 1 is a twin so hard not to send as well. For better ans worse, we've decided to pre-pay college tuition through our state's plan, which we don't love, but it's essentially the cost of a year's private tuition/kid, and gives us some safety net. We also don't do vacations, my husband's car is 16 years old, mine is 11, etc. But we do love our schools.

[Anonymous]

I think you just have to go with your heart/gut. My hubby and I only have 1, but we want to give her a private school education because we believe that having a good experience in school is important. We believe that smaller classroom sizes and a smaller school setting is the type of environment that will make her feel secure and comfortable. She enjoys knowing everyone in the school and likes being known. And on top of all of that the stellar education makes it all worth while. To pay for this we scrimp where we can...no Starbucks, fancy vacations, new cars, etc. I think we have it pretty good. We haven't really thought about how to pay for college. We'll tackle that when we really need to. We've decided not to go with the 529 for now.
Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Depends what you call middle class. People saying their parents did it are comparing apples and oranges. Housing market was a whole different deal when I was growing up. We have ancient cars, no fancy vacations and have paid off our college loans. Our house is small, old and eats at least a third of our income. We pay for one kid. We could not possibly do two. Fewer and fewer middle class kids in private school.

[Anonymous]

We are in the demographic OP describes. "DC middle class" with no FA. We do save for retirement via 401K only; we do put $ in 529 plan. But minimally.

We don't spend money on anything ELSE though -- and that's the hard part.

I will observe here that the other families similarly situated to ours in our school are 1. far and few between and 2. getting help from Grandma/Grandpa in many cases. ie, the tuition bill goes -straight- to Grandma in Florida, not even a DC address.

[Anonymous]

There are some monies available (like 3k or 5k) that FA may help with. That said, I find there are plenty of 2 income, 2+ kids in independent schools who make sacrifices in other ways.

As others noted, it is a choice and you have to go with your head and heart.

Note also, it is tough for the schools. They want a variety of diversities in the schools, which includes economic. At the same time, they only have so much FA money to go around.

[Anonymous]

I think you have to be pretty darn positive that private school is going to be a) a great personal experience and b) a stepping stone to a great college in order to say that you are going to pay for private but then ask your kid to take college loans. And private schools are not always both a and b for every person.

[Anonymous]

We are doing it ourselves. We have HHI of $150,000. So take home is (after we fully fund the 401K) about $8500 a month. Mortgage is $1500 (we are lucky, we bought in the down years in DC in an up and coming neighborhood). So we spend $2500 a month on tuition. We are able to do that because we have a low mortgage and no other debt (two crappy cars have been paid off for years). We live right at our means. We could do better if we had lower dental/medical bills. We don't have a lot of new "stuff" -- no flat screens, for example, and our vacations are to family mostly, with airline tix often paid for with miles.

I should mention that we saved for years during elementary with an eye toward possible private middle school, so we have something to fall back on should we get strapped month to month.

We are only doing this for middle school and then going back to public for HS. Total bill will be about $90K-- something we feel is worth 3 pleasant middle school years for DD.

[Anonymous]

We just figure education is more important to us than the other stuff we'd spend our money on - vacations, clothes, eating out, a new car, and we want our money to follow our values. So, we spend what we have on the education that is best suited to our kid. That said, if our public were an even decent option, we'd send him, because good public education is a part of our values, too. But the school isn't good.

We do fully fund retirement, and save some for college.

Seems others at my kid's school are in the same boat, which feels nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are doing it ourselves. We have HHI of $150,000. So take home is (after we fully fund the 401K) about $8500 a month. Mortgage is $1500 (we are lucky, we bought in the down years in DC in an up and coming neighborhood). So we spend $2500 a month on tuition. We are able to do that because we have a low mortgage and no other debt (two crappy cars have been paid off for years). We live right at our means. We could do better if we had lower dental/medical bills. We don't have a lot of new "stuff" -- no flat screens, for example, and our vacations are to family mostly, with airline tix often paid for with miles.

I should mention that we saved for years during elementary with an eye toward possible private middle school, so we have something to fall back on should we get strapped month to month.

We are only doing this for middle school and then going back to public for HS. Total bill will be about $90K-- something we feel is worth 3 pleasant middle school years for DD.

You have a very solid plan and you seem to be very smart to know middle school is the make or break years for most students. Your DD is a very lucky little girl to have such smart parents that realize the importance of sacrifice and living within their means.

[Anonymous]

What are your priorities?

For us, we live in a smaller home with a lower mortgage, drive a Honda (one car only), and have chosen careers that are in the public sector (DH left BigLaw for the fed). We can afford private school tuition for our only child even after maxing out 401Ks, having a safety net, and saving about $12k/year for college. Our vacations thus far have been to visit family (fortunately, they live in cities considered "destinations," so it seems like a real vacation). We don't scrimp on quality food, and can afford extra-curricular activities. Our kitchen is workable, but we don't have high-end appliances and custom cabinetry.

OTOH, I see families that probably have take-home incomes close to ours, but they have multiple/luxury cars, expensive homes or sink a lot of money into pricey renos and take expensive vacations. For them, obviously, home and cars are more important than private school.

BTW, if we couldn't maintain our lifestyle within our means, we would definitely consider moving out of the district for NoVa or MontCo for public schools. I do think that a handful or private schools are better than most public schools in the area, but I don't think that they are the holy grail.

If the financial sacrifices will cause your family undue stress, I wouldn't go private--and I'm saying this as a mother who thinks that her kid's school is fantastic. It's far more important to preserve your family's sanity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We just figure education is more important to us than the other stuff we'd spend our money on - vacations, clothes, eating out, a new car, and we want our money to follow our values. So, we spend what we have on the education that is best suited to our kid. That said, if our public were an even decent option, we'd send him, because good public education is a part of our values, too. But the school isn't good.

We do fully fund retirement, and save some for college.

Seems others at my kid's school are in the same boat, which feels nice.

Education is, of course, more important than "stuff" you could buy... but it is not more important than your financial security. There are many fine schools in the DC metro are that do not require normal, middle class (and upper middle class!) families to spend $1mm!!! on k-12.
The fact that other families at your school are jeopardizing their future economic security in the same way shouldn't make you feel better. Perhaps you should wonder how you have been sold a bill of goods leading you to be so reckless with your child's future economic security. The loans your child will have to take out to pay for college (b/c you are tapped out by then) will cripple him financially for years (b/c of the exploding cost of college). I envision you being unable to be secure enough to retire comfortably and your child unable to help you or get on his feet b/c of debt. That is a realistic picture when you are making foolish choices with your money (no matter how worthy a cause you think that education might be).

[Anonymous]

I work mainly to pay our DC's tuition and we live on DH's salary. We only have 1 child, don't plan on having any more and I was a SAHM until DC was school age. I don't mind at all and have a flexible schedule.

DH and I planned on this before DC was born so we still have the life-style we had pre-child but now with child in private school. College is fully funded so I can retire once DC goes to college but we plan on sending DC to private schools including boarding for high school so it's going to be awhile.

I agree with the previous posters that it really depends on your priorities and not so much income but how much one spends. My brother is a physician and make 3x what my DH and I make combined, but even he says private school tuition is a burden when one has a huge mortgage, luxury cars, etc. It really depends on how much going to a private school is a priority for your family. It's important to us so we make do.

[Anonymous]

I grew up with 3 siblings - we all went to Catholic school from K - 12 - mom stayed at home, dad worked. I can remember one family vacation, we never had money for anything and my money was constantly stressed about money so never wanted to do anything on the weekends or go anywhere. We grew up in Farifax county and the public schools were great. By the time I graduated from college, my mom finally admitted that it had been a big waste of money and we didn't realize any true gains of attending Catholic school vs the neighbor kids who went to public and attended CCD on Monday nights. Sadly, I also have very few fun memories of my family or anything we did together because we never did. I remember huge blowouts between my parents over money though.