Why is redshirting so rare if it's so advantageous?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's probably been discussed in these 12 pages, but I definitely feel like boys have a tougher time being young for their grade than girls. We just followed our school's recommended cut off dates, but those ended up with our son's fall birthday making him old for his grade and our daughter's late summer birthday making him young for her grade.

Academics were never going to be an issue for either of them. But socially and physically, I think my son would have faced challenges if he'd been on the young end where my daughter never had many problems.

I've got three boys with summer birthdays, and they all started on time. And it's been fine (youngest graduates next year, so I suppose it's still possible that something could go wrong, but I doubt it)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never suggest redshirting being wrong for a child who physically or mentally needs the extra time. If that is your child, then ignore below because it does not apply to you.

But in general, for people who redshirt to give their kids a “leg up,” I think it is just another example of how a group of well-off, predominantly white people are able to exert their privilege to hoard opportunity for their children. For families who are middle class or poor, paying for another year of daycare is just not possible. Their kids must go as soon as possible. More than likely, children from well off families would be academically ahead of those children regardless of whether they were redshirted or not. Privilege in the early years will have already impacted their development. And so adding one more year for privileged children, who already have every advantage in the world, will just make the gap wider.

At some point it just feels like people need to stop taking advantage of the system to give their children these “little legs up.” And for me at least, redshirting feels like an example of taking things too far. I am sure, for many other people, redshirting isn’t the line too far- but something else might be. Or, for some, the line is probably long before redshirting takes place. I get that. My kids have a ton of privilege and I am not voluntarily giving up much of it. But for whatever reason, to me, redshirting is where I say “enough.” It is my breaking point.

Well everyone will make the decision for their own children, as you have.

I agree with PP. Unless your kid has some sort of challenging situation where holding back is merited, redshirting goes beyond trying to maximize your kids' chances/opportunities on a level playing field... it's just straight up trying to tilt the playing field to your kids' advantage.

There is no consensus on this. There are actually posters here arguing the opposite that it’s harmful to redshirt. If nobody can say for sure one way or the other why is this such a hot button issue?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never suggest redshirting being wrong for a child who physically or mentally needs the extra time. If that is your child, then ignore below because it does not apply to you.

But in general, for people who redshirt to give their kids a “leg up,” I think it is just another example of how a group of well-off, predominantly white people are able to exert their privilege to hoard opportunity for their children. For families who are middle class or poor, paying for another year of daycare is just not possible. Their kids must go as soon as possible. More than likely, children from well off families would be academically ahead of those children regardless of whether they were redshirted or not. Privilege in the early years will have already impacted their development. And so adding one more year for privileged children, who already have every advantage in the world, will just make the gap wider.

At some point it just feels like people need to stop taking advantage of the system to give their children these “little legs up.” And for me at least, redshirting feels like an example of taking things too far. I am sure, for many other people, redshirting isn’t the line too far- but something else might be. Or, for some, the line is probably long before redshirting takes place. I get that. My kids have a ton of privilege and I am not voluntarily giving up much of it. But for whatever reason, to me, redshirting is where I say “enough.” It is my breaking point.

Well everyone will make the decision for their own children, as you have.

I agree with PP. Unless your kid has some sort of challenging situation where holding back is merited, redshirting goes beyond trying to maximize your kids' chances/opportunities on a level playing field... it's just straight up trying to tilt the playing field to your kids' advantage.

There is no consensus on this. There are actually posters here arguing the opposite that it’s harmful to redshirt. If nobody can say for sure one way or the other why is this such a hot button issue?

Because parents worry desperately over whether they're doing the right thing. A lot of people deal with that anxiety by pretending certainty when they've made a decision. The reality is that it's hard to know. Life is filled with uncertainty and a lot of things you can't control -- particularly when it comes to your kids. In all likelihood, if you stay engaged with your kids, raise them with love and respect, and keep your expectations flexible -- things will probably turn out o.k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never suggest redshirting being wrong for a child who physically or mentally needs the extra time. If that is your child, then ignore below because it does not apply to you.

But in general, for people who redshirt to give their kids a “leg up,” I think it is just another example of how a group of well-off, predominantly white people are able to exert their privilege to hoard opportunity for their children. For families who are middle class or poor, paying for another year of daycare is just not possible. Their kids must go as soon as possible. More than likely, children from well off families would be academically ahead of those children regardless of whether they were redshirted or not. Privilege in the early years will have already impacted their development. And so adding one more year for privileged children, who already have every advantage in the world, will just make the gap wider.

At some point it just feels like people need to stop taking advantage of the system to give their children these “little legs up.” And for me at least, redshirting feels like an example of taking things too far. I am sure, for many other people, redshirting isn’t the line too far- but something else might be. Or, for some, the line is probably long before redshirting takes place. I get that. My kids have a ton of privilege and I am not voluntarily giving up much of it. But for whatever reason, to me, redshirting is where I say “enough.” It is my breaking point.

Well everyone will make the decision for their own children, as you have.

I agree with PP. Unless your kid has some sort of challenging situation where holding back is merited, redshirting goes beyond trying to maximize your kids' chances/opportunities on a level playing field... it's just straight up trying to tilt the playing field to your kids' advantage.

There is no consensus on this. There are actually posters here arguing the opposite that it’s harmful to redshirt. If nobody can say for sure one way or the other why is this such a hot button issue?

Because parents worry desperately over whether they're doing the right thing. A lot of people deal with that anxiety by pretending certainty when they've made a decision. The reality is that it's hard to know. Life is filled with uncertainty and a lot of things you can't control -- particularly when it comes to your kids. In all likelihood, if you stay engaged with your kids, raise them with love and respect, and keep your expectations flexible -- things will probably turn out o.k.

I meant it as a hot button issue that parents debate in places like this. I have 2 kids who started on time and 1 I redshirted and the vitriol directed at parents who make different choices is weird. Why do other parents care so much if some parents redshirt when it's not even clear it gives an advantage?

[Anonymous]

I honestly don’t care what other people do but I do have an opinion. I don’t share my opinions regularly, unless a close friend asks. But when asked on an anonymous forum- sure, I will share my opinion. Doesn’t mean I care what you do. Just adding my 2cents to the conversation.

[Anonymous]

Because it is only advantageous to kids who are slow. Not normal average kids. Certainly not bright kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because it is only advantageous to kids who are slow. Not normal average kids. Certainly not bright kids.

If that is what you believe, then I would think you'd be giving the parents the benefit of the doubt that they are making the right decision for their kids instead of bashing them and telling them they are selfish cheaters and coaching your kids to tell them they are dummies for being "too old" for the grade. Because that's what some people in here seem to be saying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it is only advantageous to kids who are slow. Not normal average kids. Certainly not bright kids.

If that is what you believe, then I would think you'd be giving the parents the benefit of the doubt that they are making the right decision for their kids instead of bashing them and telling them they are selfish cheaters and coaching your kids to tell them they are dummies for being "too old" for the grade. Because that's what some people in here seem to be saying.

+1

The decision to redshirt is up to the parents, not their child. It's not fair to judge kids based on something they had no control over. I know that if it had been up to me, I would've started school on time. Any rational person should realize that it's wrong to label a kid as "slow" or "dumb" because of something that wasn't their fault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it is only advantageous to kids who are slow. Not normal average kids. Certainly not bright kids.

If that is what you believe, then I would think you'd be giving the parents the benefit of the doubt that they are making the right decision for their kids instead of bashing them and telling them they are selfish cheaters and coaching your kids to tell them they are dummies for being "too old" for the grade. Because that's what some people in here seem to be saying.

+1

The decision to redshirt is up to the parents, not their child. It's not fair to judge kids based on something they had no control over. I know that if it had been up to me, I would've started school on time. Any rational person should realize that it's wrong to label a kid as "slow" or "dumb" because of something that wasn't their fault.

Kids should not be blamed and parents often do what is easy for them, not best for the kids. However, a smart kid is not served well by holding them back and that was our experience and our child had to skip a grade to make up for our mistake (though technically child missed the cut off). A child who struggles academically may be better off academically, but they will be stunted socially with younger kids as that is the example they have so they will always act younger than their true peers as they will copy the behavior of the peers they are with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it is only advantageous to kids who are slow. Not normal average kids. Certainly not bright kids.

If that is what you believe, then I would think you'd be giving the parents the benefit of the doubt that they are making the right decision for their kids instead of bashing them and telling them they are selfish cheaters and coaching your kids to tell them they are dummies for being "too old" for the grade. Because that's what some people in here seem to be saying.

+1

I know that if it had been up to me, I would've started school on time.

Why? Do you realize how much your parents boosted your chances of success by paying for an extra year of daycare for you and allowing you to be the oldest?

[Anonymous]

Where did the OP get the idea that redshirting was uncommon? Half the boys in our ES in MxLwN were red-shirted

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it is only advantageous to kids who are slow. Not normal average kids. Certainly not bright kids.

If that is what you believe, then I would think you'd be giving the parents the benefit of the doubt that they are making the right decision for their kids instead of bashing them and telling them they are selfish cheaters and coaching your kids to tell them they are dummies for being "too old" for the grade. Because that's what some people in here seem to be saying.

+1

The decision to redshirt is up to the parents, not their child. It's not fair to judge kids based on something they had no control over. I know that if it had been up to me, I would've started school on time. Any rational person should realize that it's wrong to label a kid as "slow" or "dumb" because of something that wasn't their fault.

Well, if someone is slow or dumb, that's not really their own fault either.

[Anonymous]

I think most kids would feel insulted if they were redshirted; like their parents thought they weren't smart enough to be on a normal schedule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think most kids would feel insulted if they were redshirted; like their parents thought they weren't smart enough to be on a normal schedule.

But they don’t in reality. Why do yo think that is?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think most kids would feel insulted if they were redshirted; like their parents thought they weren't smart enough to be on a normal schedule.

I know my son would. He'd be embarrassed to tell other people how old he was turning.