I am done - literally don’t care anymore

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t even know how it’s physically possible to take care of a 3yo, 5yo, and newborn with 0 help. What do you do when you are nursing the baby or putting him down for a nap? The other kids watch TV? This seems like a terrible lifestyle. You need help, like 2 months ago. Don’t get a random - ask a close friend or relative who’s been social distancing to help you.

People do this all the time who don't have a high-paying job, as others have suggested a schedule! In some counties kids don't go to school until 6.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I honestly don’t get how lawyers can get away with working 100 hours a week when there is no court in session.

I wonder if your dh is avoiding childcare by making it seem like he has 100 hours a week of work. If he were in the office he would have commuting time and chatting at the water cooler time. There are less people committing crimes right now, no court in session. What the heck is he doing?

He needs to help you. Even if he comes down for 30 minutes at lunch time to take over the kids so you can take a walk. If he can’t do that then there’s something wrong.

Op here - he is not doing criminal law. He does government litigation therefore is extremely busy. Protests on top of protests for government contracts. I don’t doubt he is actually busy. He is constantly writing and on calls and doing briefs and depositions. It is exhausting for him. I get it. But what I am doing is equally exhausting. It’s not the pain Olympics. It sucks for everybody. I just don’t get any sleep since I am breastfeeding a baby along with it.

OP, the courts are closed. I get not wanting to backlog everything, but what's the rush in doing a virtual deposition when there won't be a trial any time soon? If you're doing depositions it seems like you'd be more likely to have to try the issue rather than have a judge rule on the papers.

The Federal Courts are not closed, courts have not halted deadlines, courts continue to issue rulings on motions and are holding virtual hearings (and in-person for criminal matters). My guess is OP’s DH is a mid to senior level associate who can either shine during this time and make partner or not. Lawyers in many fields are slammed and dealing with remote issues that make their days longer (having to do their own scanning/copying /editing). It’s unfortunate that there are 3 small children at home for OP to handle but her DH could not have predicted a pandemic. OP is the primary caregiver and just as her DH’s workload has increased during this pandemic so has hers. TV and Cheetos are fine.

Really?

All civil and criminal in-person proceedings in the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of Virginia, including court appearances, trials, hearings, settlement conferences, and naturalization ceremonies scheduled to occur through June 10, 2020, with the exception of critical or emergency proceedings, are POSTPONED, subject to the conditions set forth in this General Order.

Yes ...really? In-person is postponed not telephonic or other deadlines.

NP. Also, many lawyers in this area have nation-wide practices, meaning they have cases pending in different state or federal courts, each of which have enacted different orders. Not sure why so many PPs are insisting that there must be no work to do because "courts are closed" when many of us have repeatedly said that's not true.

I don’t care how busy the Dad is. He doesn’t get to just abdicate all parental duties in the name of work. He got his wife pregnant three times - he bears some responsibility for the children. I don’t care what his profession is. (And I’m married to a lawyer that spent many years in big law.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don’t get how lawyers can get away with working 100 hours a week when there is no court in session.

I wonder if your dh is avoiding childcare by making it seem like he has 100 hours a week of work. If he were in the office he would have commuting time and chatting at the water cooler time. There are less people committing crimes right now, no court in session. What the heck is he doing?

He needs to help you. Even if he comes down for 30 minutes at lunch time to take over the kids so you can take a walk. If he can’t do that then there’s something wrong.

Op here - he is not doing criminal law. He does government litigation therefore is extremely busy. Protests on top of protests for government contracts. I don’t doubt he is actually busy. He is constantly writing and on calls and doing briefs and depositions. It is exhausting for him. I get it. But what I am doing is equally exhausting. It’s not the pain Olympics. It sucks for everybody. I just don’t get any sleep since I am breastfeeding a baby along with it.

OP, the courts are closed. I get not wanting to backlog everything, but what's the rush in doing a virtual deposition when there won't be a trial any time soon? If you're doing depositions it seems like you'd be more likely to have to try the issue rather than have a judge rule on the papers.

The Federal Courts are not closed, courts have not halted deadlines, courts continue to issue rulings on motions and are holding virtual hearings (and in-person for criminal matters). My guess is OP’s DH is a mid to senior level associate who can either shine during this time and make partner or not. Lawyers in many fields are slammed and dealing with remote issues that make their days longer (having to do their own scanning/copying /editing). It’s unfortunate that there are 3 small children at home for OP to handle but her DH could not have predicted a pandemic. OP is the primary caregiver and just as her DH’s workload has increased during this pandemic so has hers. TV and Cheetos are fine.

Really?

All civil and criminal in-person proceedings in the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of Virginia, including court appearances, trials, hearings, settlement conferences, and naturalization ceremonies scheduled to occur through June 10, 2020, with the exception of critical or emergency proceedings, are POSTPONED, subject to the conditions set forth in this General Order.

Yes ...really? In-person is postponed not telephonic or other deadlines.

NP. Also, many lawyers in this area have nation-wide practices, meaning they have cases pending in different state or federal courts, each of which have enacted different orders. Not sure why so many PPs are insisting that there must be no work to do because "courts are closed" when many of us have repeatedly said that's not true.

I don’t care how busy the Dad is. He doesn’t get to just abdicate all parental duties in the name of work. He got his wife pregnant three times - he bears some responsibility for the children. I don’t care what his profession is. (And I’m married to a lawyer that spent many years in big law.)

This.

- A biglaw lawyer working from home without childcare right now.