Why is abortion such a personal issue for most women?

[Anonymous]

Sorry for typos

[Anonymous]

I had an abortion when I was 18. At the time I had started college and paid my tuition with student loans. Then I realized I was pregnant. 

I tried to tell my boyfriend. Before I even considered aborting. I phoned him. He was in a bar with another woman. They were flirting and laughing and he was drunk. It was before dinner. I said goodbye and hung up.

In the days that followed I decided to abort. I faced the thought of quitting school and paying back the loans while living in a shelter, since I had no money. My parents had always told me that if I ever came home pregnant I was out of the house and they weren't supporting me. I couldn't bear the thought of raising a baby alone and in a shelter.

I never told anyone. I asked that the medical records be sealed. I went by myself. It was horrible.  It felt like I could feel the baby being ripped apart from me. A student doctor watched. I'll never forget his face. It was the first procedure he observed.

Prior to the procedure I had to get an ultrasound to confirm fetal age. The technician asked me if I wanted to see the monitor, and in tears I shook my head no. I couldn't look. It was already so hard.

I kept dating the loser boyfriend. My therapist says it was probably traumatic bonding. I think I dissociated from my life. I told my boyfriend a year or so after.

I'm mostly in a better place now. I worked through a recovery program. I think I've accepted myself.

I still hate the pro life people. Everytime I see their signs or hear their crap I feel like if they only knew. If they only knew how awful it is to be alone and young; pregnant, immature and scared. How awful it is to have no one to talk to. No support. How awful it is to live with my choice everyday after. Wondering if people would still accept you if they knew. Growing up to have kids that I love dearly but knowing one child is missing.

All of your propaganda... who do you think really sees and notices it? Who do you think you're affecting? You're hurting people who are already hurting. There's women who 100% feel that abortion is their only option. It's a hellish option. Stop making it so much worse. 

It was the only choice I could see. I don't regret my choice. I'm sad that I made it. That I felt like I had to make it. That I didn't have other options and that I was all alone.

Your slogans and pictures are helping how? Please have some compassion for humanity. I wasn't careless. The pregnancy still happened. The decision was an awful one to make. Stop feeling like you can judge people who's shoes you haven't walked in. Whatever the reasons women have abortions, there is always a cost.

Someone's abortion or choice to abort is not my business or yours either. You don't know people's lives and their circumstances.

[Anonymous]

OP -- it's complicated. Women are meant to feel inferior about all of their choices in life. Men try to keep women down. Let them have a baby and see how they like it.

I respect other people's decisions. I feel if I'm not willing to raise all of the unwanted kids in the world, then I have no business telling some other woman what to do with her body.

I'm Catholic but when I see men leading the right to life marches, I go nuts. Their lives will never be impacted by abortion. They can have all of the sex they want w/o worrying about a possible pregnancy. They can just walk away from a pregnant gf/wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I totally agree with you- I think it should be available in cases of abnormalities, rape of a young child etc. . I think it is personal b/c

a) its been marketed to women that they carry and bring life so they should be at the forefront of protecting children born and unborn b) Most importantly a lot of people believe that a child within the womb is just as much a person as one outside the womb and it is murder to end that life in the same way that it is murder to throw an hours old infant in a trash dumpster. Logically they are completely correct and it is gross that abortion of a 4 month fetus is used as birth control to the extent that it is.

I also belong to a faith that says that the soul enters the fetus, not the embryo , so at the beginning of the 2nd trimester and that an embryo as well as an egg or sperm carry the potential for life but are not human. We also don't permit artificial insemination by a man other than one's husband or surrugacy so each faith has its own guidelines and these are very strong. I think that its good that women who begin life begins at conception follow through on that but I think that there has to be just as a push for the welfare of those children and mothers after birth as well and also universal coverage and access, in fact a push, for birth control for couples who will not be be able raise their children independently.

So what, if you are over a certain age and you are raped and end up preganant, you should be forced to carry that pregnancy? If you believe that you are a sick and immoral person IMO.

[Anonymous]

"I do not believe that just because you're opposed to abortion, that that makes you pro-life. In fact, I think in many cases, your morality is deeply lacking if all you want is a child born but not a child fed, not a child educated, not a child housed. And why would I think that you don't? Because you don't want any tax money to go there. That's not pro-life. That's pro-birth. We need a much broader conversation on what the morality of pro-life is."
Sister Joan Chittister

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I do not believe that just because you're opposed to abortion, that that makes you pro-life. In fact, I think in many cases, your morality is deeply lacking if all you want is a child born but not a child fed, not a child educated, not a child housed. And why would I think that you don't? Because you don't want any tax money to go there. That's not pro-life. That's pro-birth. We need a much broader conversation on what the morality of pro-life is."
Sister Joan Chittister

The whole pro-birth argument is stupid. There are laws protecting a child from the minute it is born. There are no laws protecting them from their "mothers" before that. That's why people are pro-life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I do not believe that just because you're opposed to abortion, that that makes you pro-life. In fact, I think in many cases, your morality is deeply lacking if all you want is a child born but not a child fed, not a child educated, not a child housed. And why would I think that you don't? Because you don't want any tax money to go there. That's not pro-life. That's pro-birth. We need a much broader conversation on what the morality of pro-life is."
Sister Joan Chittister

The whole pro-birth argument is stupid. There are laws protecting a child from the minute it is born. There are no laws protecting them from their "mothers" before that. That's why people are pro-life.

Your arguement is stupid if you think all we need to effect real action is laws. There's actually a name for legal protections without the funding to enforce - an 'unfounded mandates'. Laws are necessary but not sufficient for actual protections. We spend money on children after they are born, but not enough if you actually want to truly support and care for them.

You know what actually works to help prevent abortions? Preventing unwanted pregnancies by supplying low cost, long acting birth control and making sure women can access it. It's also a fiscally smart move as the upfront costs of supplying the birth control are more than offset by the costs that aren't spent on the prevented pregnancies. But for some reason the focus is on making sure women pay for their irresponsible actions rather than taking the step that both prevents abortions and saves us money over all.

And the biggest irony is that the people who are generally all for punishing women for mistakes claim to be Christians, even though Christ's fundamental purpose is to provide forgiveness and redemption from sin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I totally agree with you- I think it should be available in cases of abnormalities, rape of a young child etc. . I think it is personal b/c

a) its been marketed to women that they carry and bring life so they should be at the forefront of protecting children born and unborn b) Most importantly a lot of people believe that a child within the womb is just as much a person as one outside the womb and it is murder to end that life in the same way that it is murder to throw an hours old infant in a trash dumpster. Logically they are completely correct and it is gross that abortion of a 4 month fetus is used as birth control to the extent that it is.

I also belong to a faith that says that the soul enters the fetus, not the embryo , so at the beginning of the 2nd trimester and that an embryo as well as an egg or sperm carry the potential for life but are not human. We also don't permit artificial insemination by a man other than one's husband or surrugacy so each faith has its own guidelines and these are very strong. I think that its good that women who begin life begins at conception follow through on that but I think that there has to be just as a push for the welfare of those children and mothers after birth as well and also universal coverage and access, in fact a push, for birth control for couples who will not be be able raise their children independently.

I just think abortion is a serious medical procedure that should be only used as a last resort in horrible unfathomable circumstances and not as a "Oh shit! I forgot my birth control again!" plan B.

Woman hate to hear this but pregnancy and sex is a big deal. Couples should have sex carefully with the knowledge that there is a very real chance of getting pregnant. Do not punish a poor unborn child because of your bad choices.

And whose bad choice should be "punished" in the case of a rape that results in pregnancy?

[Anonymous]

Bc I got pregnant at 19 while in an abusive relationship and am thankful that PP was around so I was not tied to that awful guy forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a wide variety of reasons why someone may choose abortion. That is a serious decision for that person and her doctor to make. Not me. And certainly not the government.

The thing that I don't get is why pro-lifers stop caring about that life after it's born.

Why do you think they don't care?

Also I said that I am okay with abortion for extremely unfortunate circumstances. If a pregnancy is not viable or a danger to the mother, that is okay and should be legal everywhere. My issue is with frivolous abortions.

What is frivolous to you in your life may not be frivolous to someone else in their life. Why is this so complicated for you to understand? It's my body. It's my damn choice. Not yours. You worry about what you do, and I'll worry about what I do. I hate that anyone else thinks they know my life or can dictate what I should / shouldn't be able to do with my body. And yes, I do hate pro-lifers because for the life of me, I cannot understand why you can't keep your business out of the lives of others.

+1

+2
Legislating other people's bodies is beyond freaky and weird to me. Why do you CARE if a woman who, lets be honest you wouldn't lift a finger to help, gets an abortion? If these women who shouldn't have babies had them you'd then crap all over their bad mothering and claim to feel sorry for their kids and say some people shouldn't be parents.

It doesn't hurt you or affect you in any way if another woman aborts a pregnancy. You know tons of women who have had one but you don't even know you know because it didn't affect you in the slightest. You are no worse off for it happening. But she might be much BETTER off. You might personally think it's wrong because your hoodoo book told you so but too bad. Luckily for you it's not your body or your baby so it's not your problem.

Yes. The above was a really good post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a wide variety of reasons why someone may choose abortion. That is a serious decision for that person and her doctor to make. Not me. And certainly not the government.

The thing that I don't get is why pro-lifers stop caring about that life after it's born.

Why do you think they don't care?

Also I said that I am okay with abortion for extremely unfortunate circumstances. If a pregnancy is not viable or a danger to the mother, that is okay and should be legal everywhere. My issue is with frivolous abortions.

What is frivolous to you in your life may not be frivolous to someone else in their life. Why is this so complicated for you to understand? It's my body. It's my damn choice. Not yours. You worry about what you do, and I'll worry about what I do. I hate that anyone else thinks they know my life or can dictate what I should / shouldn't be able to do with my body. And yes, I do hate pro-lifers because for the life of me, I cannot understand why you can't keep your business out of the lives of others.

+1

+2
Legislating other people's bodies is beyond freaky and weird to me. Why do you CARE if a woman who, lets be honest you wouldn't lift a finger to help, gets an abortion? If these women who shouldn't have babies had them you'd then crap all over their bad mothering and claim to feel sorry for their kids and say some people shouldn't be parents.

It doesn't hurt you or affect you in any way if another woman aborts a pregnancy. You know tons of women who have had one but you don't even know you know because it didn't affect you in the slightest. You are no worse off for it happening. But she might be much BETTER off. You might personally think it's wrong because your hoodoo book told you so but too bad. Luckily for you it's not your body or your baby so it's not your problem.

Yes. The above was a really good post.

+1000.

And I really have an issue with folks like this. https://thinkprogress.org/why-this-lawmaker-opposes-abortion-for-everyone-except-his-own-wife-and-mistress-97bbed7ee304#.kc7syz4cy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Help me understand.

I am a middle class 30 year old married woman. I am pro-life but believe in abortion for extreme circumstances such as rape, health of the mother being in danger and possibly fetus abnormalities. I pray and wish to never have to make this horrible decision in my life.

As such, I do not understand why this is such a widespread issue. For most everyday people...they will not have to hopefully deal with it. We don;t all want to abort as a plan B now do we?[/quote]

"Hey, if my BC fails, no bigs, I'll just pop in for an abortion . . ." To be clear -NO ONE- wants this. It's not like people look forward to abortions. It isn't pleasant on any front.

If you're pro-life and want to prevent abortion, free or very low cost access to BC and family planning clinics should be high on your priority. That is effective. Banning abortion is not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bc I got pregnant at 19 while in an abusive relationship and am thankful that PP was around so I was not tied to that awful guy forever.

+1,000,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bc I got pregnant at 19 while in an abusive relationship and am thankful that PP was around so I was not tied to that awful guy forever.

This is me almost exactly, except it wasn't PP but at a private clinic instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I do not believe that just because you're opposed to abortion, that that makes you pro-life. In fact, I think in many cases, your morality is deeply lacking if all you want is a child born but not a child fed, not a child educated, not a child housed. And why would I think that you don't? Because you don't want any tax money to go there. That's not pro-life. That's pro-birth. We need a much broader conversation on what the morality of pro-life is."
Sister Joan Chittister

The whole pro-birth argument is stupid. There are laws protecting a child from the minute it is born. There are no laws protecting them from their "mothers" before that. That's why people are pro-life.

You make zero sense PP. These anti-choice/pro-birth people are disgusting.