Wondering if DW is part of some kind of fight club...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Have to admit. It's just another one of my fake stories to keep the community on their toes. It worked.

Happy Holidays

This was great! A troll thread can be a really enjoyable diversion. Good one.

Agree! I couldn't help but follow it.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Last post as not me. I'm find it confusing why people insist on calling my situation fake. If you feel that way, then please don't bother commenting. I posted to sort of double check my thinking on the situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Last post as not me. I'm find it confusing why people insist on calling my situation fake. If you feel that way, then please don't bother commenting. I posted to sort of double check my thinking on the situation.

Wait, what?

[Anonymous]

12:40 is posing as OP

[Anonymous]

I think 12:40 meant to say: "OP here. Last post was not me."

[Anonymous]

OP here. What I'm saying is that whoever posted that this thread is fake is posing as me (real OP). Hard to tell when everyone is anonymous. I don't know why anyone would want to do that. If they don't believe me,!then don't respond. There's obviously no way for me to prove it anonymously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Roller Derby was a good thought. I'm going to add in American Ninja Warrior training. Tough Mudder is crazy, like they tase you. Is the 6 hours including driving time. I could somewhat believe that she is trying to climb walls, crawl around, etc. and get some bruises. I'm just not sure why she wouldn't be talking about it more, and it's definitely not a triathlon.

Roller derbyist here. I am gone for six hours on nights we have three hour practices an hour away. That said, it's a strange thing to not come clean about.

[Anonymous]

...I'm gone for five, five an a half hours...math is hard. But I do sometimes get home at about midnight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I wish my story was fake. That would save me a lot of grief.

I do have some updates.

-I revisited the issue with the DW when I came back in town this weekend from work. DW is training for a Warrior Dash with a group (mostly all women). From looking at the flyer she sent me, it appears to be one the the extreme races someone noted earlier. Its suppose to take place in Spring 2016 in MD. I also finally did get a call back from her instructor (trainer?), and he verified this and acknowledged my DH's participation in his class/training.

-DH definitely misused the word "triathlon."

-DH paid for the sessions via check a week ago. The check hasn't been cashed yet.

Her trainer noted the sessions are only one hour. Its takes 30-40 minutes for DH to get there and back. Lets say it takes her 1.5 hours to complete her training and clean up. I don't see how shes gone more than 3 hours max. Shes gone 5-6 hours. DH says she stays and talks to friends she met at the training. This makes sense, but what are they talking about for 2-3 hours? Her response to this was essentially that its none of my business.

Quite honestly, she is right. 9/10 I usually wouldn't care about this. Its her night out, she can do what she wants and stay out as long as she wants. I can do these on my nights as well. Still though, I find her response odd because its uncharacteristic of her. Shes never really been secretive with me before. I don't see what the big deal is. I tell her what I'm doing all the time. Mainly because we need to communicate well to handle our little gang. And to keep our marriage afloat.

I feel better about the bruises now that I understand the training. But I don't know why shes being weird about her time after the training. I never probe into her life, and we have never had trust issues regarding cheating, lying, etc. I still plan on hiring a sitter and going towards the latter part of the session.

OP, I'm spitballing here, but maybe she is feeling secretive because as much as she needs this ("this" including the post-workout hangouts with her friends) for her sanity, she probably also feels conflicted about it as a mother.

[Anonymous]

FWIW in the feedback thread, Jeff confirms 9:42 posts from a Philadelphia IP address and OP is from a DC institution.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/0/519445.page#8028141

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PPs need to lay off the OP. This isn't really about trust; he's concerned for his wife. The woman is gone for 6 hours every week and coming home with bruises on her face and hands. She's offered "workout" and "going out with friends" as the only explanation. So yes, he is absolutely in the right to follow her and see where she's going. She could be doing something dangerous to herself.

OP has confirmed with the gym that she is there for at least 1 hour, but that doesn't explain the other 5 hours or the bruising.

When your spouse has physical injuries and can't explain it, it's time to do some investigating.

I agree with this in theory but I still don't get why he can't just ask her. That speaks to a deeper problems in the relationship. If my husband were coming home at midnight during the week, that would be weird, even more so if he were all bruised. I agree to something is up and OP has the right to be concerned. That said, the relationships off.

I DID talk to her. She gave me a BS answer, which I called out. When pressed she said kind of played the don't worry about me/monitor me card. In a sense, my wife may feel like my current actions are a form of controlling her. Maybe she's right in this instance.

DW sometimes turns inward when something is bothering her. Usually this translates to her being more moody/snarky. Not secretive and weird. We go to marriage counseling as a healthy practice. Have been doing so for 10 years. Never any issues regarding me being controlling. There are many other areas where I can be a douche though. Maybe thats whats sparking her "rebellion." I plan to bring it up at our next appointment.

Ohhhh, there you go! You already have a process through which you can tell her that her explanation is inadequate and ask her why she is withholding information. If she won't tell you there, well, then you know you have a larger problem regardless of what she is doing. Good luck, OP. Hope you guys sort things out.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PPs need to lay off the OP. This isn't really about trust; he's concerned for his wife. The woman is gone for 6 hours every week and coming home with bruises on her face and hands. She's offered "workout" and "going out with friends" as the only explanation. So yes, he is absolutely in the right to follow her and see where she's going. She could be doing something dangerous to herself.

OP has confirmed with the gym that she is there for at least 1 hour, but that doesn't explain the other 5 hours or the bruising.

When your spouse has physical injuries and can't explain it, it's time to do some investigating.

I agree with this in theory but I still don't get why he can't just ask her. That speaks to a deeper problems in the relationship. If my husband were coming home at midnight during the week, that would be weird, even more so if he were all bruised. I agree to something is up and OP has the right to be concerned. That said, the relationships off.

I DID talk to her. She gave me a BS answer, which I called out. When pressed she said kind of played the don't worry about me/monitor me card. In a sense, my wife may feel like my current actions are a form of controlling her. Maybe she's right in this instance.

DW sometimes turns inward when something is bothering her. Usually this translates to her being more moody/snarky. Not secretive and weird. We go to marriage counseling as a healthy practice. Have been doing so for 10 years. Never any issues regarding me being controlling. There are many other areas where I can be a douche though. Maybe thats whats sparking her "rebellion." I plan to bring it up at our next appointment.

Ohhhh, there you go! You already have a process through which you can tell her that her explanation is inadequate and ask her why she is withholding information. If she won't tell you there, well, then you know you have a larger problem regardless of what she is doing. Good luck, OP. Hope you guys sort things out.

+1

I heart you! 10 years of marriage counseling as a healthy practice! That's awesome. Also, I think it's cool that you know you are a douche sometimes. Now, just change your douchey behavior. I hope you two can clear things up.

[Anonymous]

OP, we need you to figure this out!!! The suspense is killing me! Come on!!!

- Mother of three young kids who can barely work out much less disappear for a whole evening!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, we need you to figure this out!!! The suspense is killing me! Come on!!!

- Mother of three young kids who can barely work out much less disappear for a whole evening!

Me too.
Much less be gone for 6 hours and act all coy about where I was.
With 4 kids under 5? That presumably wake up early?

It's not odd to me that she goes out, as some PP's have said there are reasonable explanations, but the fact that she won't just say "oh Susan lives nearby so we have been going to her house for drinks after. She has a great patio" or whatever is the weird part.
My husband is not interested in a play by play but I do check in when I'm gone more than a few hours to see how the kids are (even if sleeping) and can't see why I wouldn't write a quick "had a great class! I feel great. Heading to McAllisters with the crew, see you later". That's normal behavior IMO for a married couple with 4 young kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Have to admit. It's just another one of my fake stories to keep the community on their toes. It worked.

Happy Holidays

Really lame, OP, but I'm sure my opinion won't do anything to diminish your smugness. But at least the rest of us don't have to make up stories to make ourselves feel better.