How much should a man spend on an engagement ring?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Hmm well, i am the one that originally said the ring is a gift. I sadi nothing abotu wedding etc. I actually paid for most of the wedding because it mattered to me and he would have been happy with JOP. I pay the cost to the boss. I want a wedding? I pay for anything extra above and beyong what he can afford. What have I done for him? he is able to live in a much nicer house than if he just worked on his own to buy a house. He gets to have a family that he wouldnt have without me. If his car breaks down, I am Johhny on the spot. I can either pick hiom, help shoulder the car repair bill if needed ( he is a grown man and can take care of it on his own for routine things but emergencies? yeah sure we're both all in). I don;t need to deman total equality in marriage. I get it because he knows I pull my weight.

Glad you see the wedding as a shared cost. But I still do not see your "reciprocity" for him buying you an expensive ring.
All the things you "do for him" that is all great stuff, good for you, but doesn't he do all that same stuff for you (if not, why not)?
Also I'm glad you have an equal marriage without any demands. You are missing my point:

Where was your initial "gift" to him that would compare to an expensive ring?
And if you didn't purchase him a Harley-Davidson or something equally expensive, then I would say your marriage did not start off "equal" so why are you OK with that?

A gift is just that, a gift. People can spend what they want and can afford for a gift. When I buy Christmas or birthday gifts for friends and family, I don't expect to get back gifts that cost the same amount. It is not about money spent, but about what has meaning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I proposed to my fiancé on valentines day. The ring was around $22,000. It's a 3 carat Asscher cut ring.

I believe it's two months salary. I own a very lucrative business and wanted to buy her the best ring I knew she would love. I would be much more practical if I did not have a high-earning income.

If $22,000 is two months salary, your definition of very lucrative is very different than mine.

You are misreading what I wrote. I reiterated that I believe it is 2 months salary. I bought my fiance a $22,000 ring because it was perfect for her, not based on my salary. My annual income exceeds $1mil, making my business very lucrative.

So she DESERVED a $167,000 ring. Does she know she married a cheapskate?

She deserves the world but she is not one of those women who are materialistic. I wanted to buy her a more expensive one but I know she wouldn't wear it. I'm far from a cheapskate. Paying for two years of grad tuition, a brand new car, her living with me while covering expenses, me surprising her with fncy vacations, expensive jewelry, and paying for our 200k + wedding. Yeah I'm real cheap lol.

[Anonymous]

I think women who demand expensive rings are just positioning themselves as very high class hookers.

[Anonymous]

Don't go into debt. I didn't really know people did that.

If you have a good 6 figure household income, go ahead and buy the $15,000 to $25,000 ring that many on here seem to want. You should have the cash for it. If you have a more normal household income - like $50,000 - then buy a $1000 to $2000 ring like so many others on here bought. You should have the cash for it. If you don't have the cash for either of those thresholds, that alone is a huge sign that you shouldn't be taking out debt to buy a ring -- because you have already demonstrated your financial illiteracy.

I was in law school and my husband was in a crappy paying job when we got engaged. We knew high incomes were on the horizon, but we're not into wasting money. We used my mom's diamond (which she never liked wearing) and got it reset. Now 15 years later we make close to $1m hhi.

Engagement rings are the fancy of young girls in the throws of wedding planning. Within 3 years, you will no longer care about your ring or think about. Nor will those around you. When i see someone with a super big flashy ring, I usually assume she is quite young. Because in another 5 years, there were be bigger, flashier and more recent trend rings than yours, and now yours will start to look old.

PS in our world, the most expensive rings all correspond to the worst marriages and most likely divorces. That is with 10 years of hindsight.