Being lower middle class and living well

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I paid $186/week at a nice church daycare in 2012 for my 2 year old. The most I paid for infant care was $300/week and at NAEYC center. Ex and I split daycare. DD went into free PreK3 thereafter. Her school provided free aftercare. I took home $3000 when she was born. Mortgage and condo fees plus utilities were $1400. I breastfed exclusively and opted to use cloth diapers (until we switched to a cheaper center that only used disposable). I saved 10-15% for retirement the entire time.

We still ate out, travelled, and I went out with friends and dates. I am not as extreme as OP, but I agree that living on well under 100k can be done. I am probably not much older than OP.

I think the big kicker for a lot of people is the cost of childcare. I am so glad to hear people have found affordable, safe and reliable childcare options, but I think most people can agree thwt is not the norm, they are very hard to find and if you do find one it must have a space available and work for your work hours. I searched from the day I found out I was pregnant, at 6 weeks, and couldn't find an in home daycare that seemed remotely safe to me, or a center that even had a space available when I calculated I would go back to work. It was insane. I mean I searched near where I lived, near my job, in between, and beyond. No churches in my area had daycare, they had MMO programs but that's not Fulltime care. I had to go with a center, it was $1200 a month for my baby in 2008.

Now that baby is in 1st grade, so he needs aftercare at school, and camps during break. Sure it's cheaper thnan 52 weeks of Fulltime daycare, but it isn't nothing either. And don't get me started on the emergencies, like all the snow days from last year, many of them for hardly any snow. Having to juggle snow days, sick days, random days off from school. Having a kid is expensive, and then there are the random emergencies thwt put you in jeopardy of losing your job or getting passed over for that promotion. Once you have a kid, you can't be working super late, or over the weekends, etc. it's life, and it's a juggle with money, time and sanity.

totally agree on the childcare. I paid through the nose for a nanny share because it was the only reasonable option in my area. Now we are paying what I consider a reasonable amount ($340/week) for a high quality center with a low ratio for my toddler. We tried a much cheaper place, but he was visibly unhappy there every time I picked him up. It's worth it to me to skip savings so that my baby has a safe, happy place to stay while I am working. If we hadn't completely lucked out and found a spot in the good center, I would have had to tap my 401k to pay for a nanny until we (hopefully) got free PK3.

[Anonymous]

MarleySkye840 wrote:I don't think OP is necessarily being smug. I think she is just saying, you don't need 100's of thousands to live "comfortably"- even in this area. I think OP is really just challenging what we generally view as "necessary" or important.

So yes, as she gets older and has more responsibilities, she will have to roll with the punches, but I think knowing that money doesn't always help the situation is key. We all know that money will help with bills and wants, but I think it is important to know *how* to get by on less so that if you need to, it isn't a huge shock.

The point all of us working parents are making is that having a reasonably comfortable and safe living space; safe, loving childcare; decent public schools; and a commute that doesn't take up all of our family time ... not to mention the other costs of raising a child like food and health care ... are in fact things that require money. They are not really in the category of wants for most of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And frankly I don't think OP mischaracterized some of the arguments on here. She may not be speaking for you PP but I've seen plenty of posts where folks state they are living paycheck to paycheck on very high HHI. Or that they feel "poor".

I haven't posted that before but I could have. We're living paycheck to paycheck on $150k+. We have $2500 student loan payments each month, and in a couple years when those are paid off, then that money will go to savings and other debt. But we're happy, living well, and not complaining.

I don't think OP has quite figured out how to afford kids, but she'll do what we all do when that time comes, and figure it out.

OP doesn't have student loan debt like you because she had family help, so she can't empathize with the fact that people with higher incomes than her may have more expenses. But she knows it all and is doing better than you.

+1 Yep, OP knows it all, and anyone who isn't living like her is just doing life wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And frankly I don't think OP mischaracterized some of the arguments on here. She may not be speaking for you PP but I've seen plenty of posts where folks state they are living paycheck to paycheck on very high HHI. Or that they feel "poor".

I haven't posted that before but I could have. We're living paycheck to paycheck on $150k+. We have $2500 student loan payments each month, and in a couple years when those are paid off, then that money will go to savings and other debt. But we're happy, living well, and not complaining.

I don't think OP has quite figured out how to afford kids, but she'll do what we all do when that time comes, and figure it out.

OP doesn't have student loan debt like you because she had family help, so she can't empathize with the fact that people with higher incomes than her may have more expenses. But she knows it all and is doing better than you.

+1 Yep, OP knows it all, and anyone who isn't living like her is just doing life wrong.

You simply can't give OP any credit can you? You have to admit there are tons of people with student loans or people complaining about childcare costs that have iPhones, dine out frequently, live alone or in a fancy apartment, drive to work, etc. I know many myself! Truth is if many lived this way they could pay off their debt much much faster and/or not live paycheck to paycheck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And frankly I don't think OP mischaracterized some of the arguments on here. She may not be speaking for you PP but I've seen plenty of posts where folks state they are living paycheck to paycheck on very high HHI. Or that they feel "poor".

I haven't posted that before but I could have. We're living paycheck to paycheck on $150k+. We have $2500 student loan payments each month, and in a couple years when those are paid off, then that money will go to savings and other debt. But we're happy, living well, and not complaining.

I don't think OP has quite figured out how to afford kids, but she'll do what we all do when that time comes, and figure it out.

OP doesn't have student loan debt like you because she had family help, so she can't empathize with the fact that people with higher incomes than her may have more expenses. But she knows it all and is doing better than you.

You're assuming here. How do you know she didn't turn down fancier colleges so she wouldn't have to take out loans? My parents said they would only pay in state tuition and as a result, I don't have student loans. Has I gone to the school of my choice, NYU, I would have graduated with 150k in debt. I am lucky I had my parents to warn me of the dangers of this. I've done very well profesionally and am thankful I made the choices I did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And frankly I don't think OP mischaracterized some of the arguments on here. She may not be speaking for you PP but I've seen plenty of posts where folks state they are living paycheck to paycheck on very high HHI. Or that they feel "poor".

I haven't posted that before but I could have. We're living paycheck to paycheck on $150k+. We have $2500 student loan payments each month, and in a couple years when those are paid off, then that money will go to savings and other debt. But we're happy, living well, and not complaining.

I don't think OP has quite figured out how to afford kids, but she'll do what we all do when that time comes, and figure it out.

OP doesn't have student loan debt like you because she had family help, so she can't empathize with the fact that people with higher incomes than her may have more expenses. But she knows it all and is doing better than you.

+1 Yep, OP knows it all, and anyone who isn't living like her is just doing life wrong.

You simply can't give OP any credit can you? You have to admit there are tons of people with student loans or people complaining about childcare costs that have iPhones, dine out frequently, live alone or in a fancy apartment, drive to work, etc. I know many myself! Truth is if many lived this way they could pay off their debt much much faster and/or not live paycheck to paycheck.

But you are assuming that paying off debt faster is everyone's priority- it isnt. Many people would prefer a different lifestyle and to pay off debt at a slower rate. That's not any better or worse than the OP's way, so I just can't act like she is Moses bringing word of how people are 'supposed' to live.

[Anonymous]

To PP. Not what she is saying at all. she is saying you can indeed live well, be happy and save money on a lower income at her age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To PP. Not what she is saying at all. she is saying you can indeed live well, be happy and save money on a lower income at her age.

That is assuming you consider her lifestyle living well. I don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To PP. Not what she is saying at all. she is saying you can indeed live well, be happy and save money on a lower income at her age.

Well, sure. We did that in college and grad school and afterward. But the point of going to school, on your parents dime or with loans, is to better yourself, by earning more money, or else by doing something you love that doesn't pay well.

But when you grow up, get married and/or have kids, that is when things change. Or, if they don't, then you complain and vent bitterly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To PP. Not what she is saying at all. she is saying you can indeed live well, be happy and save money on a lower income at her age.

That is assuming you consider her lifestyle living well. I don't.

True. I guess she does but I personally wouldnt be content never going out to eat, living with so many roommates, etc. There is oroba ly a happy medium.

[Anonymous]

Just one question for OP: how much would your monthly student loan payment be if your parents didn't pay for your education?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just one question for OP: how much would your monthly student loan payment be if your parents didn't pay for your education?

Probably not much since her scholly covered 90% of tuition so it would be 10% of tuition plus living expenses not otherwise covered from working during summers.

At any rate, she'd be eligible for IBR or whatever they call it now so a max of 15% of the portion of her AGI above the federal poverty line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just one question for OP: how much would your monthly student loan payment be if your parents didn't pay for your education?

Probably not much since her scholly covered 90% of tuition so it would be 10% of tuition plus living expenses not otherwise covered from working during summers.

At any rate, she'd be eligible for IBR or whatever they call it now so a max of 15% of the portion of her AGI above the federal poverty line.

7 years of living expenses would be what? Around 90K? Let's say 70K if she worked during summers. Plus 10% of tuition for those 7 years. Another 20K? So 90K total. She would be paying it back, even under IBR, for 25 years and then pay taxes on the difference. Or get the interest capitalized if she ever earned too much to qualify. Fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$600/month is exactly what I paid when my son was a baby/toddler (so that was 2005-2008). He is 9 yrs old now. This was a licensed in home daycare. I rent a basement apartment is a nice area in Montgomery County. Don't say it can't be done when people are doing it.

I also paid $150 for my now 9 year old and paid $175 for my now 6 year old. Yes, you can find a lower cost child care option. My in licensed in home care provider was in DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$600/month is exactly what I paid when my son was a baby/toddler (so that was 2005-2008). He is 9 yrs old now. This was a licensed in home daycare. I rent a basement apartment is a nice area in Montgomery County. Don't say it can't be done when people are doing it.

I also paid $150 for my now 9 year old and paid $175 for my now 6 year old. Yes, you can find a lower cost child care option. My in licensed in home care provider was in DC.

btw the cost now is $250 a week and in Takoma DC