To the woman breastfeefing her 4 year old at the table at Wild Tomato...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You should wean her because, at 25 months, she is ready for a different kind of relationship with you. This is evidenced by the fact, frankly, that you seem to be reluctant to even put your foot down about it and establish yourself as the authority. Of course, "she is not ready..." why should she be? She may not be ready to go to pre-school, or to elementary school, or to high school for that matter, either, but I can't imagine that you would maintain this posture on those subjects.

It is not natural for her, or for any child at this age, beyond the point that it is habit and comfort. But as children grow up, they need to receive comfort in a more mature form from their mothers. You not being ready for the fight is a very poor reason to base this decision on. Sorry to be so blunt, but those are the facts...

I beg to differ. You are not an authority on what is or is not natural for every single child aged 25 months. Sorry.

You also assume that b/c I comfort her in one way (nursing) that this is the only way. Wrong.

You know nothing of me or my child(ren) or anything.

These are the types of posts that always surprise me. Let me just be blunt myself. All b/c you do something for your family, that works for you, does not make it the superior choice for MY family. My parenting choices - no matter how different from yours - do not threaten you as a parent or mother. They are simply what works best for my family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You should wean her because, at 25 months, she is ready for a different kind of relationship with you. This is evidenced by the fact, frankly, that you seem to be reluctant to even put your foot down about it and establish yourself as the authority. Of course, "she is not ready..." why should she be? She may not be ready to go to pre-school, or to elementary school, or to high school for that matter, either, but I can't imagine that you would maintain this posture on those subjects.

It is not natural for her, or for any child at this age, beyond the point that it is habit and comfort. But as children grow up, they need to receive comfort in a more mature form from their mothers. You not being ready for the fight is a very poor reason to base this decision on. Sorry to be so blunt, but those are the facts...

Lady. STFU. This is based on NOTHING. There is no biological or developmental basis for this position. You are making it up.

The helpful posters sneering gross, weird, inappropriate, etc. - these are not meaningful words. They refer to your personal issues, not to biologically normal breastfeeding behavior. You, too, are making it up.

When you talk about dependency and infantilizing, I *know* you don't know what you're talking about. My child was remarkably independent, physically and emotionally. She never had a smelly, tattered attachment object, either. Why? Her normal needs were being met, and she felt deeply loved and secure.

For her, and every other ebf child I know, nursing is a blissful memory of feeling completely relaxed, accepted, loved and nurtured. All other comfort measures are a distant second, and preschoolers are doing more and harder mental and emotional work every day than most adults can comprehend. They need and deserve the best comforts we can give the. Why in the hell would you insist they be stripped of them sooner than absolutely necessary? It's not about keeping them babies. It's about giving them the highest launch point.

Sorry, toots, but you're wrong about this. This has nothing to do with personal issues, except in your case, where it is obviuosly a hot button point. Are you always this defensive when you have no facts to stand on?

Not the PP, but how is she wrong about this? Could you provide a link to a reputable, peer-reviewed article regarding the biological or developmental basis PP mentioned (that necessitates weaning at 25 months)? Thanks.

PP again. I am still waiting on the excellent resources you must have to back up your opinion. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I nurse my 2.5 yo, but taught him early on that we don't do this outside the home, unless I tell him otherwise (plane rides and napping not at home, so not too often).
I don't see the point of doing it in public?

Just curious, what is the point at all at 2 1/2?

Comfort, health, bonding.

Hate to tell you, momma, but at 2.5, he should be getting his "comfort, health and bonding" from you in a different way. You need to give it up. Why don't you at least admit that it's for you at this point, and not him?

I'm a new PP who breastfeeds here 2.5 year old and it is DEFINITELY about him. We nurse once a day when he first wakes up (and have worked to skipping days sometimes). I NEVER offer, and he always asks. In fact, he gets really upset and emotional if we don't. As soon as we nurse, he is extremely calm, happy, and excited to start his day. I never planned on nursing this long, but my still very young son has made it extremely clear to me that it is a really huge comfort to him and helps him stabilize. And since you don't actually know what the hell you're talking about (where's your advanced degree in child developmental psych?) then I'd say don't make so many damn assumptions with "You need" and "at least admit" when there is a large myriad of emotional needs and developments out there? Why not say assume that these parents are doing what THEY think is best for THEIR child based on THEIR very intimate experience raising that child?? You know, the experience that YOU DON'T HAVE.

Jesus. Who the fuck cares about nursing these kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not the PP, but I would be interested in seeing sources here too. This is not a hot button issue with me and I don't see the benefits of breastfeeding at that point. I really don't. IMHO, these are women either looking for attention or cannot let go of their "baby" and use the continuance of nursing to keep them in that stage. I think past the age of 2 years old, I would definitely take a double look and wonder why they aren't using a sippy cup with breast milk instead. But that's just me. My two cents. Carry on.

Um, why would I go to the hassle of pumping and storing and carrying around breastmilk when I am already carrying around perfectly functional breasts? Why would I take away the comfort of the breast when my normally developing, intelligent, independent child enjoys it and children of the same age all over the world are receiving the same nurture without the bother of weird biddies harping on strange hangups?

I'd rather just ignore the creepy folk who think it's any of their business.

Boundaries, folks. Get some.


PS: sex - not a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You should wean her because, at 25 months, she is ready for a different kind of relationship with you. This is evidenced by the fact, frankly, that you seem to be reluctant to even put your foot down about it and establish yourself as the authority. Of course, "she is not ready..." why should she be? She may not be ready to go to pre-school, or to elementary school, or to high school for that matter, either, but I can't imagine that you would maintain this posture on those subjects.

It is not natural for her, or for any child at this age, beyond the point that it is habit and comfort. But as children grow up, they need to receive comfort in a more mature form from their mothers. You not being ready for the fight is a very poor reason to base this decision on. Sorry to be so blunt, but those are the facts...

Lady. STFU. This is based on NOTHING. There is no biological or developmental basis for this position. You are making it up.

The helpful posters sneering gross, weird, inappropriate, etc. - these are not meaningful words. They refer to your personal issues, not to biologically normal breastfeeding behavior. You, too, are making it up.

When you talk about dependency and infantilizing, I *know* you don't know what you're talking about. My child was remarkably independent, physically and emotionally. She never had a smelly, tattered attachment object, either. Why? Her normal needs were being met, and she felt deeply loved and secure.

For her, and every other ebf child I know, nursing is a blissful memory of feeling completely relaxed, accepted, loved and nurtured. All other comfort measures are a distant second, and preschoolers are doing more and harder mental and emotional work every day than most adults can comprehend. They need and deserve the best comforts we can give the. Why in the hell would you insist they be stripped of them sooner than absolutely necessary? It's not about keeping them babies. It's about giving them the highest launch point.

Sorry, toots, but you're wrong about this. This has nothing to do with personal issues, except in your case, where it is obviuosly a hot button point. Are you always this defensive when you have no facts to stand on?

Not the PP, but how is she wrong about this? Could you provide a link to a reputable, peer-reviewed article regarding the biological or developmental basis PP mentioned (that necessitates weaning at 25 months)? Thanks.

PP again. I am still waiting on the excellent resources you must have to back up your opinion. Thanks!

Yeah, me too. But first, scroll back earlier in the thread for the AAP statement that says it's totes not a problem. Then stfu! It does a body good.

[Anonymous]

You don't think it's weird that your son needs your boob to stabilize him?

I do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I nurse my 2.5 yo, but taught him early on that we don't do this outside the home, unless I tell him otherwise (plane rides and napping not at home, so not too often).
I don't see the point of doing it in public?

Just curious, what is the point at all at 2 1/2?

Comfort, health, bonding.

Hate to tell you, momma, but at 2.5, he should be getting his "comfort, health and bonding" from you in a different way. You need to give it up. Why don't you at least admit that it's for you at this point, and not him?

I'm a new PP who breastfeeds here 2.5 year old and it is DEFINITELY about him. We nurse once a day when he first wakes up (and have worked to skipping days sometimes). I NEVER offer, and he always asks. In fact, he gets really upset and emotional if we don't. As soon as we nurse, he is extremely calm, happy, and excited to start his day. I never planned on nursing this long, but my still very young son has made it extremely clear to me that it is a really huge comfort to him and helps him stabilize. And since you don't actually know what the hell you're talking about (where's your advanced degree in child developmental psych?) then I'd say don't make so many damn assumptions with "You need" and "at least admit" when there is a large myriad of emotional needs and developments out there? Why not say assume that these parents are doing what THEY think is best for THEIR child based on THEIR very intimate experience raising that child?? You know, the experience that YOU DON'T HAVE.

Jesus. Who the fuck cares about nursing these kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't you just hate it when people are "breastfeefing" preschoolers in public? I just don't care. If you want Johnny hanging from your boob at the restaurant- good for you. For everyone else who is offended..don't watch or ask to move to another table. I remember when the "smoking section violated our rights because of second hand smoke. Ok, I get that. But, second hand breastfeeding? Hmm How are you really violated? I'm sure people see more cleavage at a Miley Cyrus concert. Come on, people. We've all seen breasts before or will someday soon. Get over it.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't you just hate it when people are "breastfeefing" preschoolers in public? I just don't care. If you want Johnny hanging from your boob at the restaurant- good for you. For everyone else who is offended..don't watch or ask to move to another table. I remember when the "smoking section violated our rights because of second hand smoke. Ok, I get that. But, second hand breastfeeding? Hmm How are you really violated? I'm sure people see more cleavage at a Miley Cyrus concert. Come on, people. We've all seen breasts before or will someday soon. Get over it.

+1

- 1. Do that creepy sh*t in the privacy of your own home please and thank you.

[Anonymous]

Lots of parenting books advise parents to stop using the bottle when the child turns 1 yrs old, and to teach them to use a cup to drink. It's better for their oral development, healthier teeth, etc. Shouldn't the same thing apply to breast feeding as well - better for the child's oral development to learn to drink from a cup and not the nipple?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of parenting books advise parents to stop using the bottle when the child turns 1 yrs old, and to teach them to use a cup to drink. It's better for their oral development, healthier teeth, etc. Shouldn't the same thing apply to breast feeding as well - better for the child's oral development to learn to drink from a cup and not the nipple?

Oh, the many, many layers of ignorance.

1) The human nipple is not like a rubber nipple. It co-evolved with the infant's body for ideal oral development. The entire nipple flattens and shapes to the mouth and requires coordinated motion to express milk.

2) breastfed kids also drink from cups. My daughter nursed past age three and never used a bottle.

3) Stop trying to come up with reasons why something obviously normal and natural is not normal and natural.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of parenting books advise parents to stop using the bottle when the child turns 1 yrs old, and to teach them to use a cup to drink. It's better for their oral development, healthier teeth, etc. Shouldn't the same thing apply to breast feeding as well - better for the child's oral development to learn to drink from a cup and not the nipple?

Oh, the many, many layers of ignorance.

1) The human nipple is not like a rubber nipple. It co-evolved with the infant's body for ideal oral development. The entire nipple flattens and shapes to the mouth and requires coordinated motion to express milk.

2) breastfed kids also drink from cups. My daughter nursed past age three and never used a bottle.

3) Stop trying to come up with reasons why something obviously normal and natural is not normal and natural.

Of course she never used a bottle. By three she was chewing up thick pieces of steak WITH HER TEETH.

It's NOT about the child; it's about the women who need this attachment to fill a void, to give them a purpose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of parenting books advise parents to stop using the bottle when the child turns 1 yrs old, and to teach them to use a cup to drink. It's better for their oral development, healthier teeth, etc. Shouldn't the same thing apply to breast feeding as well - better for the child's oral development to learn to drink from a cup and not the nipple?

Oh, the many, many layers of ignorance.

1) The human nipple is not like a rubber nipple. It co-evolved with the infant's body for ideal oral development. The entire nipple flattens and shapes to the mouth and requires coordinated motion to express milk.

2) breastfed kids also drink from cups. My daughter nursed past age three and never used a bottle.

3) Stop trying to come up with reasons why something obviously normal and natural is not normal and natural.

Of course she never used a bottle. By three she was chewing up thick pieces of steak WITH HER TEETH.

It's NOT about the child; it's about the women who need this attachment to fill a void, to give them a purpose.

I actually wonder about the women who force their one-year olds to wean merely because they think society says "it's time". Those moms are constantly trying to push their kids away and avoid deeper attachment, and selfishly focus on their egos rather then their kids. They are so highly influenced by peer pressure that they cannot separate what they assume "other people must think of them" versus what is actually healthiest (or at least biologically normal) for their child. Meanwhile, no one actually cares how long you nurse your baby -- or at least they don't care enough to say something to your face.

The bottom line is it just doesn't matter. Don't nurse your kids at all. Wean them at 3 months. Wean them at three years. It's not actually anyone else's business.

And yes, older nurslings are going to have teeth. Don't some babies get teeth at 4 months? It's just dumb to equate teeth to a need to wean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I nurse my 2.5 yo, but taught him early on that we don't do this outside the home, unless I tell him otherwise (plane rides and napping not at home, so not too often).
I don't see the point of doing it in public?

Just curious, what is the point at all at 2 1/2?

Comfort, health, bonding.

Hate to tell you, momma, but at 2.5, he should be getting his "comfort, health and bonding" from you in a different way. You need to give it up. Why don't you at least admit that it's for you at this point, and not him?

I'm a new PP who breastfeeds here 2.5 year old and it is DEFINITELY about him. We nurse once a day when he first wakes up (and have worked to skipping days sometimes). I NEVER offer, and he always asks. In fact, he gets really upset and emotional if we don't. As soon as we nurse, he is extremely calm, happy, and excited to start his day. I never planned on nursing this long, but my still very young son has made it extremely clear to me that it is a really huge comfort to him and helps him stabilize. And since you don't actually know what the hell you're talking about (where's your advanced degree in child developmental psych?) then I'd say don't make so many damn assumptions with "You need" and "at least admit" when there is a large myriad of emotional needs and developments out there? Why not say assume that these parents are doing what THEY think is best for THEIR child based on THEIR very intimate experience raising that child?? You know, the experience that YOU DON'T HAVE.

Jesus. Who the fuck cares about nursing these kids?

You are ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of parenting books advise parents to stop using the bottle when the child turns 1 yrs old, and to teach them to use a cup to drink. It's better for their oral development, healthier teeth, etc. Shouldn't the same thing apply to breast feeding as well - better for the child's oral development to learn to drink from a cup and not the nipple?

Oh, the many, many layers of ignorance.

1) The human nipple is not like a rubber nipple. It co-evolved with the infant's body for ideal oral development. The entire nipple flattens and shapes to the mouth and requires coordinated motion to express milk.

2) breastfed kids also drink from cups. My daughter nursed past age three and never used a bottle.

3) Stop trying to come up with reasons why something obviously normal and natural is not normal and natural.

Of course she never used a bottle. By three she was chewing up thick pieces of steak WITH HER TEETH.

It's NOT about the child; it's about the women who need this attachment to fill a void, to give them a purpose.

+1

[Anonymous]

Why do people care so much about someone else's breastfeeding or bottle-feeding?