PSA on SSSAS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok. Parent here. What is so hard about finding pants and tops that work? My kid wears a plain sweatshirt 80 percent of the time with shorts. Plan short sleeve or polo. Honestly it is just not that hard to comply with the dress code. I feel like you need something else to spend your energy on.

Maybe the school ought to spend its time on something other than policing what kids wear. Like academics.

I always knew this school values community as much as learning, I just didn’t realize “goodness as well as knowledge” meant teaching kids to look preppy at all times.

All the Episcopalian schools have dress codes (and uniforms in LS). Just like all (or most at least) of the Catholic schools have uniforms. It’s something you know and sign up for going in. If you don’t like that concept, don’t go to one of these schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok. Parent here. What is so hard about finding pants and tops that work? My kid wears a plain sweatshirt 80 percent of the time with shorts. Plan short sleeve or polo. Honestly it is just not that hard to comply with the dress code. I feel like you need something else to spend your energy on.

Maybe the school ought to spend its time on something other than policing what kids wear. Like academics.

I always knew this school values community as much as learning, I just didn’t realize “goodness as well as knowledge” meant teaching kids to look preppy at all times.

All the Episcopalian schools have dress codes (and uniforms in LS). Just like all (or most at least) of the Catholic schools have uniforms. It’s something you know and sign up for going in. If you don’t like that concept, don’t go to one of these schools.

This is simply not true, first of all. NCS barely has any restrictions and they certainly don’t have this insane emphasis on what girls wear. St Pats has more restrictions but still nothing like this weird collar or dress requirement.

But also, many parents don’t take issue with a dress code that restricts athletic clothing or pajamas or torn clothing, as ia found at other episcopal schools. It’s the inspecting the outfits daily and punishing girls for having very borderline items. It’s asking them to write essays on how what they wore “negatively impacted the community.” It’s giving them detention for a shirt that fits differently than it did when they bought it because they grew a quarter of an inch. It’s teaching the boys and girls that it’s acceptable to evaluate others based on their appearance.

[Anonymous]

I’ve never heard of a student having to write an essay about why their dress code violation negatively affected the community. If that’s happening (that “punishment” is not disclosed in the handbook) that is stupid.

Detention only happens after three infractions.

MS is SSSAS’s weak link (which I think is true in many k-12 schools). US is great. Still a hyperfixation this year on dress code, but the dress code is more straightforward and doesn’t have whatever collar weirdness is happening in the MS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never heard of a student having to write an essay about why their dress code violation negatively affected the community. If that’s happening (that “punishment” is not disclosed in the handbook) that is stupid.

Detention only happens after three infractions.

MS is SSSAS’s weak link (which I think is true in many k-12 schools). US is great. Still a hyperfixation this year on dress code, but the dress code is more straightforward and doesn’t have whatever collar weirdness is happening in the MS.

NP but writing that essay is what happens in detention at the MS, and many girls have had detention already this year. I heard some wrote about how their clothing did NOT negatively affect the community but I think most just feel like they’re in trouble and they want to please the adults in the room by writing… I don’t know, that their appearance negatively affects others, I guess.

[Anonymous]

Wow, blaming middle school girls for harming their community based on their clothing is really something else. As a SSSAS parent, I’m horrified.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, blaming middle school girls for harming their community based on their clothing is really something else. As a SSSAS parent, I’m horrified.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, blaming middle school girls for harming their community based on their clothing is really something else. As a SSSAS parent, I’m horrified.

DP, but I assume it’s a general detention requirement that you write a letter addressing your infraction, which is fine for many behaviors that result in detention, but when applied to dress code violations becomes ridiculous, and should definitely be rethought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, blaming middle school girls for harming their community based on their clothing is really something else. As a SSSAS parent, I’m horrified.

DP, but I assume it’s a general detention requirement that you write a letter addressing your infraction, which is fine for many behaviors that result in detention, but when applied to dress code violations becomes ridiculous, and should definitely be rethought.

Ideally it would have been rethought well before they did this to many girls.

I have given up on the school. The lack of leadership on this issue is astonishing. I happen to know parents who did recently bring this issue to Kirsten Adams and she said she didn’t care and she didn’t think any of the things discussed here were a problem, or were harmful to girls. C’est la vie. We are making a change asap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, blaming middle school girls for harming their community based on their clothing is really something else. As a SSSAS parent, I’m horrified.

DP, but I assume it’s a general detention requirement that you write a letter addressing your infraction, which is fine for many behaviors that result in detention, but when applied to dress code violations becomes ridiculous, and should definitely be rethought.

Ideally it would have been rethought well before they did this to many girls.

I have given up on the school. The lack of leadership on this issue is astonishing. I happen to know parents who did recently bring this issue to Kirsten Adams and she said she didn’t care and she didn’t think any of the things discussed here were a problem, or were harmful to girls. C’est la vie. We are making a change asap.

Yikes, that’s a disappointing response. You’d think the school would at least care about some of the reputational damage if not concern for students themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, blaming middle school girls for harming their community based on their clothing is really something else. As a SSSAS parent, I’m horrified.

DP, but I assume it’s a general detention requirement that you write a letter addressing your infraction, which is fine for many behaviors that result in detention, but when applied to dress code violations becomes ridiculous, and should definitely be rethought.

Ideally it would have been rethought well before they did this to many girls.

I have given up on the school. The lack of leadership on this issue is astonishing. I happen to know parents who did recently bring this issue to Kirsten Adams and she said she didn’t care and she didn’t think any of the things discussed here were a problem, or were harmful to girls. C’est la vie. We are making a change asap.

Yikes, that’s a disappointing response. You’d think the school would at least care about some of the reputational damage if not concern for students themselves.

Maybe she cares about the issue but doesn’t want to hear another parent complain when their child broke dress code and got called out for it. Not to be a totally jerk but it is NOT appropriate to show skin on the torso at work almost anywhere other than a nightclub or a pool. No skin at all. Not when you reach up and not when you reach down. So… the school is teaching the kids how the world actually works. They actually had to ban pajamas. So did other schools. Why? Because quite unbelievably wearing pajamas and slippers to school became totally acceptable. So maybe Adams cares about the long view. Maybe she wants SSSAS kids to show up at competitions and interviews in clothes that don’t distract from the amazing abilities and skills the kids actually have. Stop the breathless panic over this. It’s a positive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, blaming middle school girls for harming their community based on their clothing is really something else. As a SSSAS parent, I’m horrified.

DP, but I assume it’s a general detention requirement that you write a letter addressing your infraction, which is fine for many behaviors that result in detention, but when applied to dress code violations becomes ridiculous, and should definitely be rethought.

Ideally it would have been rethought well before they did this to many girls.

I have given up on the school. The lack of leadership on this issue is astonishing. I happen to know parents who did recently bring this issue to Kirsten Adams and she said she didn’t care and she didn’t think any of the things discussed here were a problem, or were harmful to girls. C’est la vie. We are making a change asap.

Yikes, that’s a disappointing response. You’d think the school would at least care about some of the reputational damage if not concern for students themselves.

Maybe she cares about the issue but doesn’t want to hear another parent complain when their child broke dress code and got called out for it. Not to be a totally jerk but it is NOT appropriate to show skin on the torso at work almost anywhere other than a nightclub or a pool. No skin at all. Not when you reach up and not when you reach down. So… the school is teaching the kids how the world actually works. They actually had to ban pajamas. So did other schools. Why? Because quite unbelievably wearing pajamas and slippers to school became totally acceptable. So maybe Adams cares about the long view. Maybe she wants SSSAS kids to show up at competitions and interviews in clothes that don’t distract from the amazing abilities and skills the kids actually have. Stop the breathless panic over this. It’s a positive.

And the best way to teach this valuable life skill is with near-constant inspections of the girls by their educators?

Plenty of other schools in the DC area manage to have less restrictive dress codes AND far more prestigious graduates. Clearly they figure out how to look and behave professionally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, blaming middle school girls for harming their community based on their clothing is really something else. As a SSSAS parent, I’m horrified.

DP, but I assume it’s a general detention requirement that you write a letter addressing your infraction, which is fine for many behaviors that result in detention, but when applied to dress code violations becomes ridiculous, and should definitely be rethought.

Ideally it would have been rethought well before they did this to many girls.

I have given up on the school. The lack of leadership on this issue is astonishing. I happen to know parents who did recently bring this issue to Kirsten Adams and she said she didn’t care and she didn’t think any of the things discussed here were a problem, or were harmful to girls. C’est la vie. We are making a change asap.

Yikes, that’s a disappointing response. You’d think the school would at least care about some of the reputational damage if not concern for students themselves.

Maybe she cares about the issue but doesn’t want to hear another parent complain when their child broke dress code and got called out for it. Not to be a totally jerk but it is NOT appropriate to show skin on the torso at work almost anywhere other than a nightclub or a pool. No skin at all. Not when you reach up and not when you reach down. So… the school is teaching the kids how the world actually works. They actually had to ban pajamas. So did other schools. Why? Because quite unbelievably wearing pajamas and slippers to school became totally acceptable. So maybe Adams cares about the long view. Maybe she wants SSSAS kids to show up at competitions and interviews in clothes that don’t distract from the amazing abilities and skills the kids actually have. Stop the breathless panic over this. It’s a positive.

She isn’t particularly passionate about the issue. She also doesn’t micromanage the LS, MS and US HOSs, so if it’s super important to Mike or Bee, then she’s going to let them and their deans administer this policy. That’s how she operates. And she’s going to stand behind her HOSs whenever there is conflict with a parent. She will always side with them. So it doesn’t matter if plenty of parents complain.

Kids were wearing pajamas because they were allowed to during Covid. It was a carryover. But if you have kids there, you would know that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, blaming middle school girls for harming their community based on their clothing is really something else. As a SSSAS parent, I’m horrified.

DP, but I assume it’s a general detention requirement that you write a letter addressing your infraction, which is fine for many behaviors that result in detention, but when applied to dress code violations becomes ridiculous, and should definitely be rethought.

Ideally it would have been rethought well before they did this to many girls.

I have given up on the school. The lack of leadership on this issue is astonishing. I happen to know parents who did recently bring this issue to Kirsten Adams and she said she didn’t care and she didn’t think any of the things discussed here were a problem, or were harmful to girls. C’est la vie. We are making a change asap.

Yikes, that’s a disappointing response. You’d think the school would at least care about some of the reputational damage if not concern for students themselves.

Maybe she cares about the issue but doesn’t want to hear another parent complain when their child broke dress code and got called out for it. Not to be a totally jerk but it is NOT appropriate to show skin on the torso at work almost anywhere other than a nightclub or a pool. No skin at all. Not when you reach up and not when you reach down. So… the school is teaching the kids how the world actually works. They actually had to ban pajamas. So did other schools. Why? Because quite unbelievably wearing pajamas and slippers to school became totally acceptable. So maybe Adams cares about the long view. Maybe she wants SSSAS kids to show up at competitions and interviews in clothes that don’t distract from the amazing abilities and skills the kids actually have. Stop the breathless panic over this. It’s a positive.

She isn’t particularly passionate about the issue. She also doesn’t micromanage the LS, MS and US HOSs, so if it’s super important to Mike or Bee, then she’s going to let them and their deans administer this policy. That’s how she operates. And she’s going to stand behind her HOSs whenever there is conflict with a parent. She will always side with them. So it doesn’t matter if plenty of parents complain.

Kids were wearing pajamas because they were allowed to during Covid. It was a carryover. But if you have kids there, you would know that.

We are new but the whole pajamas in public wasn’t just at SSSAS. Every school and everywhere kids were wearing PJs. However it started, it got out of hand and schools everywhere had to stop it. Same with short shorts. The aptly named Lululemon Hotty Hot low rise with 2.5 inch inseam were small but then the flutter shorts came along and everything was just out there. Then the midriff tops. As a mom of teen girls, I know what the trends are. But I also work full time and that stuff isn’t ok in any job. Yet it was starting to show up with our interns. And yes, as we looked at hiring decisions, we consider what people wear (and don’t wear) and weigh whether we want to have the awkward conversation with a grown adult about their clothing. We don’t. These kids need to learn to dress appropriately for the situation. Short skirts and skimpy tops aren’t appropriate for school or work or a funeral. And you can disagree but you don’t get to pick SSSAS and then tell it to change its ways. All schools are tightening up on clothes because it got out of hand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, blaming middle school girls for harming their community based on their clothing is really something else. As a SSSAS parent, I’m horrified.

DP, but I assume it’s a general detention requirement that you write a letter addressing your infraction, which is fine for many behaviors that result in detention, but when applied to dress code violations becomes ridiculous, and should definitely be rethought.

Ideally it would have been rethought well before they did this to many girls.

I have given up on the school. The lack of leadership on this issue is astonishing. I happen to know parents who did recently bring this issue to Kirsten Adams and she said she didn’t care and she didn’t think any of the things discussed here were a problem, or were harmful to girls. C’est la vie. We are making a change asap.

Yikes, that’s a disappointing response. You’d think the school would at least care about some of the reputational damage if not concern for students themselves.

Maybe she cares about the issue but doesn’t want to hear another parent complain when their child broke dress code and got called out for it. Not to be a totally jerk but it is NOT appropriate to show skin on the torso at work almost anywhere other than a nightclub or a pool. No skin at all. Not when you reach up and not when you reach down. So… the school is teaching the kids how the world actually works. They actually had to ban pajamas. So did other schools. Why? Because quite unbelievably wearing pajamas and slippers to school became totally acceptable. So maybe Adams cares about the long view. Maybe she wants SSSAS kids to show up at competitions and interviews in clothes that don’t distract from the amazing abilities and skills the kids actually have. Stop the breathless panic over this. It’s a positive.

And the best way to teach this valuable life skill is with near-constant inspections of the girls by their educators?

Plenty of other schools in the DC area manage to have less restrictive dress codes AND far more prestigious graduates. Clearly they figure out how to look and behave professionally.

Graduates can be prestigious and still have no idea what's appropriate in the workplace. The kids coming our of college today are missing a lot of workplace basics, including how to dress properly. There is a disconnect somewhere and something needs to change. Teaching what is and is not appropriate to wear makes sense to me.

Honestly, I wish they had a uniform at the very least through middle school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, blaming middle school girls for harming their community based on their clothing is really something else. As a SSSAS parent, I’m horrified.

DP, but I assume it’s a general detention requirement that you write a letter addressing your infraction, which is fine for many behaviors that result in detention, but when applied to dress code violations becomes ridiculous, and should definitely be rethought.

Ideally it would have been rethought well before they did this to many girls.

I have given up on the school. The lack of leadership on this issue is astonishing. I happen to know parents who did recently bring this issue to Kirsten Adams and she said she didn’t care and she didn’t think any of the things discussed here were a problem, or were harmful to girls. C’est la vie. We are making a change asap.

Yikes, that’s a disappointing response. You’d think the school would at least care about some of the reputational damage if not concern for students themselves.

Maybe she cares about the issue but doesn’t want to hear another parent complain when their child broke dress code and got called out for it. Not to be a totally jerk but it is NOT appropriate to show skin on the torso at work almost anywhere other than a nightclub or a pool. No skin at all. Not when you reach up and not when you reach down. So… the school is teaching the kids how the world actually works. They actually had to ban pajamas. So did other schools. Why? Because quite unbelievably wearing pajamas and slippers to school became totally acceptable. So maybe Adams cares about the long view. Maybe she wants SSSAS kids to show up at competitions and interviews in clothes that don’t distract from the amazing abilities and skills the kids actually have. Stop the breathless panic over this. It’s a positive.

You’re the one who writes as if in a breathless panic!