NYC law partner w/ kids: "$850K gross is not enough to live on"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Main Line and Westchester are not much comparison. Philadelphia is a very poor city. It has so much history and good food but the people are so provincial and often don't leave the state ever. The politics of the state are ridiculous and stuck in the 1800s.

yep. Not at all the density of high-powered legal jobs as NYC. so it’s not really a comparison for most NYC partners, except in that if they believe they are “poor” in NYC then yes, maybe they need to trade some of the prestige and money of NYC for something slower paced. I went to law school in NYC and practiced in Philly at the beginning of my career and the cool thing is that most of my cohort went on to do a broad variety of interesting stuff in/around Philly (small firms, legal aid, DA, AG, opened own non-law businesses) specifically because Philly is so much more affordable and you are not locked into the law firm track the way you are in NYC.

Exactly. No one is arguing Philly is more exciting or even overall better. But it is better not to live in a shoebox and shoehorning three kids into a tiny space so you can brag about being a New Yorker. Go look at Rittenhouse if you want an urban neighborhood in Philly.

+10000. The people who insist on doing this are insufferable.

They also are typically lifelong renters.

Yep. You need to have family money, be in finance, or be an entrepreneur to live the life the redditor wants. Being a non-rainmaker partner doesn’t cut it and their NW will be a fraction of what it would be if they lived in the suburbs or a lower cost of living metro.

Again - the density of law and finance jobs cannot be paralleled in other cities. People move to NYC because they want the NYC lifestyle- which yes, includes less square footage but much much more to do outside of the home and higher power work. If you don’t want that then don’t move there, but don’t delude yourself into thinking New Yorkers are crying themselves to sleep over your McMansion.

This is debatable, especially when you have kids. Whenever I’m in NYC visiting family/friends I’m struck by how the only thing to do is go out to eat or to a playground. If you’re actually wealthy with multiple nannies then maybe you’re living a fabulous NY lifestyle. But the average $800k lawyer is hardly living it up. They aren’t doing anything you can’t do in any metro area in the US. They are just doing it with less square footage and less disposable income.

Correct. They have 2-3 regular neighborhood restaurants (not Le Bernadin) like they would in Scarsdale or Bethesda and they take advantage of NYC's artistic offerings to a similar degree (almost never).

No one is jealous of or impressed by your living in NYC, unless you have a 30+mm net worth, big apartment, weekend house, and place in Florida or Aspen for the winter. Then yes, lord it over us.

lol now I’m positive you have never lived in NYC and don’t know any New Yorkers.

(sarcasm) Yea, real New Yorkers go to Per Se every Wednesday as a family tradition. They bring their 2 year olds to Broadway shows and take in the Frick with their 4th grader after school. They are enjoying NYC to the fullest and use amenities you couldn't find anywhere else in the world besdies London Dubai and Hong Kong.

Yeah I still know you’re not a New Yorker 😂 Do you really think when people talk about great NYC food they mean Per Se?

Keller is one of the world’s most accomplished chefs. No one cares about your newest Tibetan-El Salvadoran fusion in a random pocket of Queens. It is a bad substitute for you being unable to travel in five star style so you feel compelled to knock down high dining.

Ok dude 😂 Have fun in Bethesda.

I don’t live in Bethesda.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What HHI gets you three tuitions and a 4br comfortably in nyc?

Three tuitions is about 180k after tax. As a full pay, the schools will harass you to donate a substantial amount. If you think you can get away with only a couple thousand and still have your child matriculate to a good HS or college, you are mistaken. Keep in mind a plurality (and a majority of the full pays) will have a weekend house, if not in a luxury area then somewhere like the Catskills. You cannot do a staycation in the city, you will have to go to FL or VT (if you're being cheap) for your sanity and so your kids know there is grass that isn't surrounded by tall buildings.

NYC is death by a thousand cuts. Three children you will probably have an oversize car and pay more for parking (15k+ per year, not including the lease or insurance). Hope that they don't get into an expensive sport.

If you have the cash to buy a co-op or condo, the maintenance can easily run 4k+ per month (in nicer pre-wars it can be over 8k). Contractors are more expensive.

Without family support, I don't think a life between 96th Street in Manhattan and Park Slope with three children should be attempted without at least 2mm per year. You can make it work, but your net worth and ability to retire well will be crippled.

I have relatives with an HHI of likely around 800k-1mil doing just fine. The bought a browntstone in a less gentrified area, sent their kids to the less gentrified elementary schools then privates, and have a great life. 2 kids not 3 but with 3 would have just hustled harder to get into the better public or done cheaper Catholic.

So crown heights or bed- stuy. If you make 800k and decide to live somewhere like that you should be examined

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Main Line and Westchester are not much comparison. Philadelphia is a very poor city. It has so much history and good food but the people are so provincial and often don't leave the state ever. The politics of the state are ridiculous and stuck in the 1800s.

yep. Not at all the density of high-powered legal jobs as NYC. so it’s not really a comparison for most NYC partners, except in that if they believe they are “poor” in NYC then yes, maybe they need to trade some of the prestige and money of NYC for something slower paced. I went to law school in NYC and practiced in Philly at the beginning of my career and the cool thing is that most of my cohort went on to do a broad variety of interesting stuff in/around Philly (small firms, legal aid, DA, AG, opened own non-law businesses) specifically because Philly is so much more affordable and you are not locked into the law firm track the way you are in NYC.

Exactly. No one is arguing Philly is more exciting or even overall better. But it is better not to live in a shoebox and shoehorning three kids into a tiny space so you can brag about being a New Yorker. Go look at Rittenhouse if you want an urban neighborhood in Philly.

+10000. The people who insist on doing this are insufferable.

They also are typically lifelong renters.

Yep. You need to have family money, be in finance, or be an entrepreneur to live the life the redditor wants. Being a non-rainmaker partner doesn’t cut it and their NW will be a fraction of what it would be if they lived in the suburbs or a lower cost of living metro.

Again - the density of law and finance jobs cannot be paralleled in other cities. People move to NYC because they want the NYC lifestyle- which yes, includes less square footage but much much more to do outside of the home and higher power work. If you don’t want that then don’t move there, but don’t delude yourself into thinking New Yorkers are crying themselves to sleep over your McMansion.

This is debatable, especially when you have kids. Whenever I’m in NYC visiting family/friends I’m struck by how the only thing to do is go out to eat or to a playground. If you’re actually wealthy with multiple nannies then maybe you’re living a fabulous NY lifestyle. But the average $800k lawyer is hardly living it up. They aren’t doing anything you can’t do in any metro area in the US. They are just doing it with less square footage and less disposable income.

Correct. They have 2-3 regular neighborhood restaurants (not Le Bernadin) like they would in Scarsdale or Bethesda and they take advantage of NYC's artistic offerings to a similar degree (almost never).

No one is jealous of or impressed by your living in NYC, unless you have a 30+mm net worth, big apartment, weekend house, and place in Florida or Aspen for the winter. Then yes, lord it over us.

+1000. For all but the impossibly wealthy, living in NYC with children is exhausting.

Did you live in NYC with children? I’m not so sure what’s exhausting about having your kids’ elementary school two blocks away; multiple playgrounds, parks, libraries and museums within walking distance; delicious (affordable and fast) food options on every block; then when they turn 13 they can get themselves wherever they need to go on the subway?

Totally fine if that is not for you but you just sound like a rube when you make those kinds of statements.

You can say all of this about any major city in the U.S. (trade the subway for the L or an okay bus system). There’s nothing special on this list at all

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are many good NYC publics, however getting a full K-12 education in them requires a bit of luck and hustle. Especially if you can’t afford private as a backup. Many NYers who can’t afford private move to the burbs just so there’s less dice rolling involved in which schools their kids attend.

There aren’t many. There are a handful and they cannot compete with even the third tier privates in Manhattan and BK. The education at Stuyvesant and Bronx Science is solid but few would consider those nurturing or healthy environments.

[Anonymous]

JFC. My best friend lives in NYC. She is a teacher, and her husband is a librarian. They rent and apartment and their two daughters share a room. It's not ideal, but they have enough "to live on," without family money.


Way fewer people than you think are reading "two daughters share a room" while calculating a teacher and librarian salary and think this is palatable. Go on Zillow, look at townhouses under 750k in Logan Circle with 3BR. Then tell us that the sacrifice to call yourself a New Yorker makes any sense here. Your best friend isn't living. She is a wagie and being super selfish trying to live out some weird fantasy.

She is from NYC originally and her elderly parents still live there in a rent stabilized apartment. She's not living out a fantasy, but rather, residing in her city of origin where her parents still reside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Main Line and Westchester are not much comparison. Philadelphia is a very poor city. It has so much history and good food but the people are so provincial and often don't leave the state ever. The politics of the state are ridiculous and stuck in the 1800s.

yep. Not at all the density of high-powered legal jobs as NYC. so it’s not really a comparison for most NYC partners, except in that if they believe they are “poor” in NYC then yes, maybe they need to trade some of the prestige and money of NYC for something slower paced. I went to law school in NYC and practiced in Philly at the beginning of my career and the cool thing is that most of my cohort went on to do a broad variety of interesting stuff in/around Philly (small firms, legal aid, DA, AG, opened own non-law businesses) specifically because Philly is so much more affordable and you are not locked into the law firm track the way you are in NYC.

Exactly. No one is arguing Philly is more exciting or even overall better. But it is better not to live in a shoebox and shoehorning three kids into a tiny space so you can brag about being a New Yorker. Go look at Rittenhouse if you want an urban neighborhood in Philly.

+10000. The people who insist on doing this are insufferable.

They also are typically lifelong renters.

Yep. You need to have family money, be in finance, or be an entrepreneur to live the life the redditor wants. Being a non-rainmaker partner doesn’t cut it and their NW will be a fraction of what it would be if they lived in the suburbs or a lower cost of living metro.

Again - the density of law and finance jobs cannot be paralleled in other cities. People move to NYC because they want the NYC lifestyle- which yes, includes less square footage but much much more to do outside of the home and higher power work. If you don’t want that then don’t move there, but don’t delude yourself into thinking New Yorkers are crying themselves to sleep over your McMansion.

This is debatable, especially when you have kids. Whenever I’m in NYC visiting family/friends I’m struck by how the only thing to do is go out to eat or to a playground. If you’re actually wealthy with multiple nannies then maybe you’re living a fabulous NY lifestyle. But the average $800k lawyer is hardly living it up. They aren’t doing anything you can’t do in any metro area in the US. They are just doing it with less square footage and less disposable income.

Just because your idea of “doing something” is driving to an exurban trampoline park doesn’t mean that’s everyone. NYC has everything and if you don’t want that then yeah, don’t live there.

Most people here don't live in the exurbs. There is a wide gulf between trampoline park and living in HCOL Brooklyn on 800k. The Redditor could make 400k in DC or Chicago and live a far better life with all of the urban amenities she thinks she needs to be fulfilled.

She can literally by a 4 bedroom house right now on Metro North. She doesn’t want to. She thinks she is entitled to 4 bedrooms in the fully gentrified part of Brooklyn for $1 mil.

Agree there are lots of options that would work but they involve trade offs that the Reddit poster doesn’t want TJ make. You can’t live the perfect life in nyc (bedroom for each kid, super short commute, great schools) for $850K. But you can’t make some trade offs and have it all work out just fine.

Hence she is a whiner if she believes that being a law partner entitled her from having to ever make any financial tradeoffs … because of course living in McLean and having a more boring and less lucrative practice is also a tradeoff

If you can afford McLean you can buy a townhouse in Georgetown without a garage or a nice condo in Foggy Bottom. There’s more in life than sterile DC suburbs or living in a ghetto NYC area on 800k because you need four bedrooms. Many examples have been given.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

JFC. My best friend lives in NYC. She is a teacher, and her husband is a librarian. They rent and apartment and their two daughters share a room. It's not ideal, but they have enough "to live on," without family money.


Way fewer people than you think are reading "two daughters share a room" while calculating a teacher and librarian salary and think this is palatable. Go on Zillow, look at townhouses under 750k in Logan Circle with 3BR. Then tell us that the sacrifice to call yourself a New Yorker makes any sense here. Your best friend isn't living. She is a wagie and being super selfish trying to live out some weird fantasy.

She is from NYC originally and her elderly parents still live there in a rent stabilized apartment. She's not living out a fantasy, but rather, residing in her city of origin where her parents still reside.

So her parents are part of a system covering hundreds of thousands of apartments that make NYC unaffordable for most and reduce the housing stock quality. She should buy a house in a cheaper city with an extra bedroom for her parents. There are many areas she can find a reasonable four bedroom house, Chicago is fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Main Line and Westchester are not much comparison. Philadelphia is a very poor city. It has so much history and good food but the people are so provincial and often don't leave the state ever. The politics of the state are ridiculous and stuck in the 1800s.

yep. Not at all the density of high-powered legal jobs as NYC. so it’s not really a comparison for most NYC partners, except in that if they believe they are “poor” in NYC then yes, maybe they need to trade some of the prestige and money of NYC for something slower paced. I went to law school in NYC and practiced in Philly at the beginning of my career and the cool thing is that most of my cohort went on to do a broad variety of interesting stuff in/around Philly (small firms, legal aid, DA, AG, opened own non-law businesses) specifically because Philly is so much more affordable and you are not locked into the law firm track the way you are in NYC.

Exactly. No one is arguing Philly is more exciting or even overall better. But it is better not to live in a shoebox and shoehorning three kids into a tiny space so you can brag about being a New Yorker. Go look at Rittenhouse if you want an urban neighborhood in Philly.

+10000. The people who insist on doing this are insufferable.

They also are typically lifelong renters.

Yep. You need to have family money, be in finance, or be an entrepreneur to live the life the redditor wants. Being a non-rainmaker partner doesn’t cut it and their NW will be a fraction of what it would be if they lived in the suburbs or a lower cost of living metro.

Again - the density of law and finance jobs cannot be paralleled in other cities. People move to NYC because they want the NYC lifestyle- which yes, includes less square footage but much much more to do outside of the home and higher power work. If you don’t want that then don’t move there, but don’t delude yourself into thinking New Yorkers are crying themselves to sleep over your McMansion.

This is debatable, especially when you have kids. Whenever I’m in NYC visiting family/friends I’m struck by how the only thing to do is go out to eat or to a playground. If you’re actually wealthy with multiple nannies then maybe you’re living a fabulous NY lifestyle. But the average $800k lawyer is hardly living it up. They aren’t doing anything you can’t do in any metro area in the US. They are just doing it with less square footage and less disposable income.

Correct. They have 2-3 regular neighborhood restaurants (not Le Bernadin) like they would in Scarsdale or Bethesda and they take advantage of NYC's artistic offerings to a similar degree (almost never).

No one is jealous of or impressed by your living in NYC, unless you have a 30+mm net worth, big apartment, weekend house, and place in Florida or Aspen for the winter. Then yes, lord it over us.

+1000. For all but the impossibly wealthy, living in NYC with children is exhausting.

Did you live in NYC with children? I’m not so sure what’s exhausting about having your kids’ elementary school two blocks away; multiple playgrounds, parks, libraries and museums within walking distance; delicious (affordable and fast) food options on every block; then when they turn 13 they can get themselves wherever they need to go on the subway?

Totally fine if that is not for you but you just sound like a rube when you make those kinds of statements.

Yes I did, and life was much easier when we moved to a major US city where we could still walk to all those things (well, not museums, but those are an easy subway ride away) and kids were using good public transit without adult supervision by 13, but we also could afford a home with a little room to spread out (although still not large) and a yard so that they could play outside without constant supervision, and we could use the car easily when we needed to and get out of the city easily when we wanted to, and so much less traffic noise--I didn't realize how stressful the noise was until I moved to a city with less traffic. (To be clear, traffic where I live is very bad. It's just not NYC bad.)

I love NYC, but I didn't love it with kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What HHI gets you three tuitions and a 4br comfortably in nyc?

Three tuitions is about 180k after tax. As a full pay, the schools will harass you to donate a substantial amount. If you think you can get away with only a couple thousand and still have your child matriculate to a good HS or college, you are mistaken. Keep in mind a plurality (and a majority of the full pays) will have a weekend house, if not in a luxury area then somewhere like the Catskills. You cannot do a staycation in the city, you will have to go to FL or VT (if you're being cheap) for your sanity and so your kids know there is grass that isn't surrounded by tall buildings.

NYC is death by a thousand cuts. Three children you will probably have an oversize car and pay more for parking (15k+ per year, not including the lease or insurance). Hope that they don't get into an expensive sport.

If you have the cash to buy a co-op or condo, the maintenance can easily run 4k+ per month (in nicer pre-wars it can be over 8k). Contractors are more expensive.

Without family support, I don't think a life between 96th Street in Manhattan and Park Slope with three children should be attempted without at least 2mm per year. You can make it work, but your net worth and ability to retire well will be crippled.

I have relatives with an HHI of likely around 800k-1mil doing just fine. The bought a browntstone in a less gentrified area, sent their kids to the less gentrified elementary schools then privates, and have a great life. 2 kids not 3 but with 3 would have just hustled harder to get into the better public or done cheaper Catholic.

So crown heights or bed- stuy. If you make 800k and decide to live somewhere like that you should be examined

Tell me again about how they should just move to Logan Circle and then you will respect them 😂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Main Line and Westchester are not much comparison. Philadelphia is a very poor city. It has so much history and good food but the people are so provincial and often don't leave the state ever. The politics of the state are ridiculous and stuck in the 1800s.

yep. Not at all the density of high-powered legal jobs as NYC. so it’s not really a comparison for most NYC partners, except in that if they believe they are “poor” in NYC then yes, maybe they need to trade some of the prestige and money of NYC for something slower paced. I went to law school in NYC and practiced in Philly at the beginning of my career and the cool thing is that most of my cohort went on to do a broad variety of interesting stuff in/around Philly (small firms, legal aid, DA, AG, opened own non-law businesses) specifically because Philly is so much more affordable and you are not locked into the law firm track the way you are in NYC.

Exactly. No one is arguing Philly is more exciting or even overall better. But it is better not to live in a shoebox and shoehorning three kids into a tiny space so you can brag about being a New Yorker. Go look at Rittenhouse if you want an urban neighborhood in Philly.

+10000. The people who insist on doing this are insufferable.

They also are typically lifelong renters.

Yep. You need to have family money, be in finance, or be an entrepreneur to live the life the redditor wants. Being a non-rainmaker partner doesn’t cut it and their NW will be a fraction of what it would be if they lived in the suburbs or a lower cost of living metro.

Again - the density of law and finance jobs cannot be paralleled in other cities. People move to NYC because they want the NYC lifestyle- which yes, includes less square footage but much much more to do outside of the home and higher power work. If you don’t want that then don’t move there, but don’t delude yourself into thinking New Yorkers are crying themselves to sleep over your McMansion.

This is debatable, especially when you have kids. Whenever I’m in NYC visiting family/friends I’m struck by how the only thing to do is go out to eat or to a playground. If you’re actually wealthy with multiple nannies then maybe you’re living a fabulous NY lifestyle. But the average $800k lawyer is hardly living it up. They aren’t doing anything you can’t do in any metro area in the US. They are just doing it with less square footage and less disposable income.

Correct. They have 2-3 regular neighborhood restaurants (not Le Bernadin) like they would in Scarsdale or Bethesda and they take advantage of NYC's artistic offerings to a similar degree (almost never).

No one is jealous of or impressed by your living in NYC, unless you have a 30+mm net worth, big apartment, weekend house, and place in Florida or Aspen for the winter. Then yes, lord it over us.

+1000. For all but the impossibly wealthy, living in NYC with children is exhausting.

Did you live in NYC with children? I’m not so sure what’s exhausting about having your kids’ elementary school two blocks away; multiple playgrounds, parks, libraries and museums within walking distance; delicious (affordable and fast) food options on every block; then when they turn 13 they can get themselves wherever they need to go on the subway?

Totally fine if that is not for you but you just sound like a rube when you make those kinds of statements.

You can say all of this about any major city in the U.S. (trade the subway for the L or an okay bus system). There’s nothing special on this list at all

NYC actually is much more dense and walkable than any other US city but you knew this. It’s fine if you prefer a quieter life style but dumb to pretend everyone in NYC is miserable and unable to cope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What HHI gets you three tuitions and a 4br comfortably in nyc?

Three tuitions is about 180k after tax. As a full pay, the schools will harass you to donate a substantial amount. If you think you can get away with only a couple thousand and still have your child matriculate to a good HS or college, you are mistaken. Keep in mind a plurality (and a majority of the full pays) will have a weekend house, if not in a luxury area then somewhere like the Catskills. You cannot do a staycation in the city, you will have to go to FL or VT (if you're being cheap) for your sanity and so your kids know there is grass that isn't surrounded by tall buildings.

NYC is death by a thousand cuts. Three children you will probably have an oversize car and pay more for parking (15k+ per year, not including the lease or insurance). Hope that they don't get into an expensive sport.

If you have the cash to buy a co-op or condo, the maintenance can easily run 4k+ per month (in nicer pre-wars it can be over 8k). Contractors are more expensive.

Without family support, I don't think a life between 96th Street in Manhattan and Park Slope with three children should be attempted without at least 2mm per year. You can make it work, but your net worth and ability to retire well will be crippled.

I have relatives with an HHI of likely around 800k-1mil doing just fine. The bought a browntstone in a less gentrified area, sent their kids to the less gentrified elementary schools then privates, and have a great life. 2 kids not 3 but with 3 would have just hustled harder to get into the better public or done cheaper Catholic.

So crown heights or bed- stuy. If you make 800k and decide to live somewhere like that you should be examined

Tell me again about how they should just move to Logan Circle and then you will respect them 😂

That’s not the point of Logan Circle. The question is what the Reddit woman can do that is financially responsible given she wants 4BR on an 800k salary. Buying in a nice part of NYC is not the answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Main Line and Westchester are not much comparison. Philadelphia is a very poor city. It has so much history and good food but the people are so provincial and often don't leave the state ever. The politics of the state are ridiculous and stuck in the 1800s.

yep. Not at all the density of high-powered legal jobs as NYC. so it’s not really a comparison for most NYC partners, except in that if they believe they are “poor” in NYC then yes, maybe they need to trade some of the prestige and money of NYC for something slower paced. I went to law school in NYC and practiced in Philly at the beginning of my career and the cool thing is that most of my cohort went on to do a broad variety of interesting stuff in/around Philly (small firms, legal aid, DA, AG, opened own non-law businesses) specifically because Philly is so much more affordable and you are not locked into the law firm track the way you are in NYC.

Exactly. No one is arguing Philly is more exciting or even overall better. But it is better not to live in a shoebox and shoehorning three kids into a tiny space so you can brag about being a New Yorker. Go look at Rittenhouse if you want an urban neighborhood in Philly.

+10000. The people who insist on doing this are insufferable.

They also are typically lifelong renters.

Yep. You need to have family money, be in finance, or be an entrepreneur to live the life the redditor wants. Being a non-rainmaker partner doesn’t cut it and their NW will be a fraction of what it would be if they lived in the suburbs or a lower cost of living metro.

Again - the density of law and finance jobs cannot be paralleled in other cities. People move to NYC because they want the NYC lifestyle- which yes, includes less square footage but much much more to do outside of the home and higher power work. If you don’t want that then don’t move there, but don’t delude yourself into thinking New Yorkers are crying themselves to sleep over your McMansion.

This is debatable, especially when you have kids. Whenever I’m in NYC visiting family/friends I’m struck by how the only thing to do is go out to eat or to a playground. If you’re actually wealthy with multiple nannies then maybe you’re living a fabulous NY lifestyle. But the average $800k lawyer is hardly living it up. They aren’t doing anything you can’t do in any metro area in the US. They are just doing it with less square footage and less disposable income.

Just because your idea of “doing something” is driving to an exurban trampoline park doesn’t mean that’s everyone. NYC has everything and if you don’t want that then yeah, don’t live there.

Most people here don't live in the exurbs. There is a wide gulf between trampoline park and living in HCOL Brooklyn on 800k. The Redditor could make 400k in DC or Chicago and live a far better life with all of the urban amenities she thinks she needs to be fulfilled.

She can literally by a 4 bedroom house right now on Metro North. She doesn’t want to. She thinks she is entitled to 4 bedrooms in the fully gentrified part of Brooklyn for $1 mil.

Agree there are lots of options that would work but they involve trade offs that the Reddit poster doesn’t want TJ make. You can’t live the perfect life in nyc (bedroom for each kid, super short commute, great schools) for $850K. But you can’t make some trade offs and have it all work out just fine.

Hence she is a whiner if she believes that being a law partner entitled her from having to ever make any financial tradeoffs … because of course living in McLean and having a more boring and less lucrative practice is also a tradeoff

If you can afford McLean you can buy a townhouse in Georgetown without a garage or a nice condo in Foggy Bottom. There’s more in life than sterile DC suburbs or living in a ghetto NYC area on 800k because you need four bedrooms. Many examples have been given.

For the kajillionth time, no other city has the density of finance-related work as NYC. It’s not the same. That is why she is there. Yes she can take a pay/prestige cut and move to a condo in Foggy Bottom but honestly that sounds like the worst of all possible solutions …

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What HHI gets you three tuitions and a 4br comfortably in nyc?

Three tuitions is about 180k after tax. As a full pay, the schools will harass you to donate a substantial amount. If you think you can get away with only a couple thousand and still have your child matriculate to a good HS or college, you are mistaken. Keep in mind a plurality (and a majority of the full pays) will have a weekend house, if not in a luxury area then somewhere like the Catskills. You cannot do a staycation in the city, you will have to go to FL or VT (if you're being cheap) for your sanity and so your kids know there is grass that isn't surrounded by tall buildings.

NYC is death by a thousand cuts. Three children you will probably have an oversize car and pay more for parking (15k+ per year, not including the lease or insurance). Hope that they don't get into an expensive sport.

If you have the cash to buy a co-op or condo, the maintenance can easily run 4k+ per month (in nicer pre-wars it can be over 8k). Contractors are more expensive.

Without family support, I don't think a life between 96th Street in Manhattan and Park Slope with three children should be attempted without at least 2mm per year. You can make it work, but your net worth and ability to retire well will be crippled.

I have relatives with an HHI of likely around 800k-1mil doing just fine. The bought a browntstone in a less gentrified area, sent their kids to the less gentrified elementary schools then privates, and have a great life. 2 kids not 3 but with 3 would have just hustled harder to get into the better public or done cheaper Catholic.

So crown heights or bed- stuy. If you make 800k and decide to live somewhere like that you should be examined

Tell me again about how they should just move to Logan Circle and then you will respect them 😂

That’s not the point of Logan Circle. The question is what the Reddit woman can do that is financially responsible given she wants 4BR on an 800k salary. Buying in a nice part of NYC is not the answer.

Ok … the point is she is not poor and she can survive just fine on her salary in NYC. But she’s whining because she cannot replicate a suburban lifestyle in the densest and richest city in the US. duh. Also she can just buy a house in Westchester and stfu.

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Anonymous wrote:Main Line and Westchester are not much comparison. Philadelphia is a very poor city. It has so much history and good food but the people are so provincial and often don't leave the state ever. The politics of the state are ridiculous and stuck in the 1800s.

yep. Not at all the density of high-powered legal jobs as NYC. so it’s not really a comparison for most NYC partners, except in that if they believe they are “poor” in NYC then yes, maybe they need to trade some of the prestige and money of NYC for something slower paced. I went to law school in NYC and practiced in Philly at the beginning of my career and the cool thing is that most of my cohort went on to do a broad variety of interesting stuff in/around Philly (small firms, legal aid, DA, AG, opened own non-law businesses) specifically because Philly is so much more affordable and you are not locked into the law firm track the way you are in NYC.

Exactly. No one is arguing Philly is more exciting or even overall better. But it is better not to live in a shoebox and shoehorning three kids into a tiny space so you can brag about being a New Yorker. Go look at Rittenhouse if you want an urban neighborhood in Philly.

+10000. The people who insist on doing this are insufferable.

They also are typically lifelong renters.

Yep. You need to have family money, be in finance, or be an entrepreneur to live the life the redditor wants. Being a non-rainmaker partner doesn’t cut it and their NW will be a fraction of what it would be if they lived in the suburbs or a lower cost of living metro.

Again - the density of law and finance jobs cannot be paralleled in other cities. People move to NYC because they want the NYC lifestyle- which yes, includes less square footage but much much more to do outside of the home and higher power work. If you don’t want that then don’t move there, but don’t delude yourself into thinking New Yorkers are crying themselves to sleep over your McMansion.

This is debatable, especially when you have kids. Whenever I’m in NYC visiting family/friends I’m struck by how the only thing to do is go out to eat or to a playground. If you’re actually wealthy with multiple nannies then maybe you’re living a fabulous NY lifestyle. But the average $800k lawyer is hardly living it up. They aren’t doing anything you can’t do in any metro area in the US. They are just doing it with less square footage and less disposable income.

Correct. They have 2-3 regular neighborhood restaurants (not Le Bernadin) like they would in Scarsdale or Bethesda and they take advantage of NYC's artistic offerings to a similar degree (almost never).

No one is jealous of or impressed by your living in NYC, unless you have a 30+mm net worth, big apartment, weekend house, and place in Florida or Aspen for the winter. Then yes, lord it over us.

+1000. For all but the impossibly wealthy, living in NYC with children is exhausting.

Did you live in NYC with children? I’m not so sure what’s exhausting about having your kids’ elementary school two blocks away; multiple playgrounds, parks, libraries and museums within walking distance; delicious (affordable and fast) food options on every block; then when they turn 13 they can get themselves wherever they need to go on the subway?

Totally fine if that is not for you but you just sound like a rube when you make those kinds of statements.

You can say all of this about any major city in the U.S. (trade the subway for the L or an okay bus system). There’s nothing special on this list at all

NYC actually is much more dense and walkable than any other US city but you knew this. It’s fine if you prefer a quieter life style but dumb to pretend everyone in NYC is miserable and unable to cope.

I for one think very rich NYers are having a grand time. Sadly, not everyone is that rich.

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Anonymous wrote:Main Line and Westchester are not much comparison. Philadelphia is a very poor city. It has so much history and good food but the people are so provincial and often don't leave the state ever. The politics of the state are ridiculous and stuck in the 1800s.

yep. Not at all the density of high-powered legal jobs as NYC. so it’s not really a comparison for most NYC partners, except in that if they believe they are “poor” in NYC then yes, maybe they need to trade some of the prestige and money of NYC for something slower paced. I went to law school in NYC and practiced in Philly at the beginning of my career and the cool thing is that most of my cohort went on to do a broad variety of interesting stuff in/around Philly (small firms, legal aid, DA, AG, opened own non-law businesses) specifically because Philly is so much more affordable and you are not locked into the law firm track the way you are in NYC.

Exactly. No one is arguing Philly is more exciting or even overall better. But it is better not to live in a shoebox and shoehorning three kids into a tiny space so you can brag about being a New Yorker. Go look at Rittenhouse if you want an urban neighborhood in Philly.

+10000. The people who insist on doing this are insufferable.

They also are typically lifelong renters.

Yep. You need to have family money, be in finance, or be an entrepreneur to live the life the redditor wants. Being a non-rainmaker partner doesn’t cut it and their NW will be a fraction of what it would be if they lived in the suburbs or a lower cost of living metro.

Again - the density of law and finance jobs cannot be paralleled in other cities. People move to NYC because they want the NYC lifestyle- which yes, includes less square footage but much much more to do outside of the home and higher power work. If you don’t want that then don’t move there, but don’t delude yourself into thinking New Yorkers are crying themselves to sleep over your McMansion.

This is debatable, especially when you have kids. Whenever I’m in NYC visiting family/friends I’m struck by how the only thing to do is go out to eat or to a playground. If you’re actually wealthy with multiple nannies then maybe you’re living a fabulous NY lifestyle. But the average $800k lawyer is hardly living it up. They aren’t doing anything you can’t do in any metro area in the US. They are just doing it with less square footage and less disposable income.

Correct. They have 2-3 regular neighborhood restaurants (not Le Bernadin) like they would in Scarsdale or Bethesda and they take advantage of NYC's artistic offerings to a similar degree (almost never).

No one is jealous of or impressed by your living in NYC, unless you have a 30+mm net worth, big apartment, weekend house, and place in Florida or Aspen for the winter. Then yes, lord it over us.

+1000. For all but the impossibly wealthy, living in NYC with children is exhausting.

Did you live in NYC with children? I’m not so sure what’s exhausting about having your kids’ elementary school two blocks away; multiple playgrounds, parks, libraries and museums within walking distance; delicious (affordable and fast) food options on every block; then when they turn 13 they can get themselves wherever they need to go on the subway?

Totally fine if that is not for you but you just sound like a rube when you make those kinds of statements.

Yes I did, and life was much easier when we moved to a major US city where we could still walk to all those things (well, not museums, but those are an easy subway ride away) and kids were using good public transit without adult supervision by 13, but we also could afford a home with a little room to spread out (although still not large) and a yard so that they could play outside without constant supervision, and we could use the car easily when we needed to and get out of the city easily when we wanted to, and so much less traffic noise--I didn't realize how stressful the noise was until I moved to a city with less traffic. (To be clear, traffic where I live is very bad. It's just not NYC bad.)

I love NYC, but I didn't love it with kids.

Great you made a good choice for yourself instead of whining that you are poor in NYC. Unlike the dumb*ss OP.