NYC law partner w/ kids: "$850K gross is not enough to live on"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also calling Shaw “relative squalor” is just ridiculous.

Yea it’s just squalor and crime and crappy modern floor plans in cheaply built boxy apartment buildings. No “relative” needed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, not in a VHCOL area. What’s difficult to understand about that?

People in finance and tech make that much or more AND they work many fewer hours with much better work/life balance.

I totally get a Big Law Lawyer thinking “is this it????”

Correct. Big law takes the cake for awful somewhat remunerative career path. You’re much better off in tech and finance.

As a big law wife I can vouch for that. We aren’t poor but my husband works like a dog. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

Big law rarely provides life changing liquidity events or those bonuses you can retire on like finance and tech often do.

That's correct, no one time liquidity events that are life changing. But at 48 we have a net worth of $20 million, and I plan to retire in my mid-50s (probably with close to double that net worth). So it has provided an opportunity to retire wealthy at a relatively young age.

You’d have made more in PE and FAANG and been retired by now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just got back from NYC where I was helping my DD move in. We went grocery shopping and the bill came to $260, which is more than I usually spend for our family of 4 for a week! A pound of Starbucks coffee cost $22. Here it is $12.
This morning we went out for breakfast, bill came to $75 for 2 people, we each had eggs. She also had a lemonade.
My point is that absolutely everything in NYC is super expensive. I can totally see where she is coming from. But yes, don’t have 3 kids if you can’t afford to.

The only thing you've proven here is that neither you nor your daughter has any idea where to buy affordable groceries or which restaurants to frequent. I've lived in NYC for over twenty-five years, and my weekly grocery bill has never come anywhere near $260, nor have I ever gone to breakfast with another person and had the bill come to $75.

Not everyone eats low quality fried cheese at bodegas with cats urinating on the stove. Anything better will be PP’s costs.

You obviously know nothing about living in NYC or where to find great food (at grocery stores or in restaurants) for less in its boroughs. To take the Starbucks coffee as an example: I have no idea where the person who helped his/her adult child move to NYC went grocery shopping, but a 1 lb. bag of coffee is $13.95 at an actual Starbucks store.

Why would anyone leave Manhattan or the smell nice part of BK for “boroughs”? Let me take a ferry to buy cheaper groceries on SI….. not!

Have you been to NYC? Manhattan is a mixture of nice neighborhoods and rat/cockroach infested neighborhoods. Queens, Brooklyn specifically have some really nice neighborhoods and some hellholes just like Manhattan. It’s not like in the movies.

Queens does not have really nice neighborhoods. It has one okay place (LIC) that is largely made up of foreign or second generation professionals and is sterile. BK is okay from BK Heights through Carroll Gardens, Fort Greene and Park Slope are wildly overrated.

No one is disputing north of 96th in Manhattan sucks.

What is so nice about Long Island City? And unless you’re a real estate salesperson you don’t know anything about neighborhoods all over the city.

Most successful realtors specialize in 1-2 neighborhoods. If you are a cycler and adventurous you probably explored a lot of the city.

LIC has amenity rich high rises with incredible views of Manhattan and LI. It’s easy to get to midtown from there. You can’t say this about almost any other part of Queens which ranges from middle class suburban (Douglaston) to dumping ground of the world (Jackson heights). There’s lots of ugly brick (not brownstone…) and aluminum siding in the borough.

Realtors who specialize in 1-2 neighborhoods are a small percentage. Long Island City has a lot of brand new high rises that seem to be thrown up wherever there is a tiny space that can be filled. You will have constant loud construction for at least ten years. The nice high rises are surrounded by old warehouses. There are about 100 of the ugliest public housing buildings in LIC. LIC and Astoria are kind of blended. Some neighborhoods will use LIC, some will use Astoria for the same zip code.

Astoria doesn’t have classic brownstones but some sections have really nice row houses and townhomes. Astoria Park is a very calming place to walk around or do activities. Their outdoor pool is as big as a small pond. They also have great views of the skyline but you have choices of brand new buildings or older townhomes. I like that area a lot.

If you live on a decently high floor then noise isn’t an issue. A lot of areas have horrible NYCHA projects, it’s a net negative but we’re talking about Queens neighborhoods, not LIC v UES or Brooklyn Heights.

LIC and Astoria literally have their own addresses And are distinct. No one wants some public pool in Queens, that’s why you pay for a LIC condo with amenities. Please link a single nice Astoria townhouse that is on a street with other nice townhouses, doubtful.

Unless you live or know people who live in certain areas of Astoria you wouldn’t know. In certain neighborhoods people get mail labeled LIC or Astoria with the same zip code. I don’t think they have definitive lines drawn up yet.

I see Long Island City as a big jumbled mess. Projects are located on different areas of NYC but none compared to the LIC projects. It’s the largest in NYC taking up huge space. There’s massive industrial buildings that are not all that attractive.

I think it’s ok if you’re a young single or couple looking for high rise living. I wouldn’t suggest it for families.

I already wrote about Astoria Park. Look it up. Compare the open land on the water to LIC land on the water.

The city literally divides them with official addresses.

The parts of LIC professionals and families live in are far from the projects. Astoria is close to the Bronx, has a lot of aluminum siding, a lot of Greek “townies” who harass outsiders, and it is much more inconvenient to get to Manhattan.

This back and forth is rather pointless. No corporate attorney making 850k and sending 2-3 children to private school would ever consider Astoria. Never.

Discussing parts of NYC is not pointless as long as you know what you’re talking about. When mailing anything to parts of Astoria sometimes it comes out as LIC if you enter he zip code first. It can be confusing.

Someone making $850k and wanting to pay for private schools doesn’t have a lot of choices. Waitresses in high end restaurants make six figures. Where do you think people with family incomes of 850k live in NYC?

Wanting to pay for private school for 1 child has many choices, including post wars on Park Avenue. Two she’d have decent choices. Three is a stretch until you get to dumpster fires like Astoria.

A HHI of 850k can get you a decent 4BR on the UES, UWS, Sutton Place, and what are considered better parts of Brooklyn. Of course, the Redditor probably wasted a lot of money on frivolous expenses out of law school. If she had parked part of her paycheck in the S&P every two weeks (since she is a partner and has been working for some time) she’d have a very large downpayment. Instead she decided to pay for those waitresses incomes.

Since this is a DC forum I’ll translate for them. It’s like a financially stretched couple in Dupont looking to buy with a third on the way and she wants all three at Sidwell or St. Albans. You tell her Bloomingdale, Petworth, even Shaw aren’t that bad. This is after she has spent 15 years grinding in school and the corporate ladder. She’s not a starving artist, yet is encouraged to live in relative squalor compared to her similarly situated peers n

So what? I mean lots of us decided to stop at 1 or 2 kids and finances were certainly part of that discussion.

If your point is that this woman thinks the reqard for law school plus 10 years or work is she should be exempt from ever considering the financial impact of her decisions then all I can say is welcome to the real world.

Being limited to two children at 200k HHI is a very different discussion than being limited to three at 850k HHI because NYC is a uniquely bad deal in terms of cost for quality of life.

No one is saying she should be exempt. What we are saying is that many posters don’t realize an attorney parent in this situation isn’t moving to the ghetto for a 4BR and needs realistic, actionable advice. Telling some partner at Sullivan and Cromwell to move to Astoria is like telling a 5’2 man to dunk a basketball: it’s not going to happen

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, not in a VHCOL area. What’s difficult to understand about that?

People in finance and tech make that much or more AND they work many fewer hours with much better work/life balance.

I totally get a Big Law Lawyer thinking “is this it????”

Correct. Big law takes the cake for awful somewhat remunerative career path. You’re much better off in tech and finance.

As a big law wife I can vouch for that. We aren’t poor but my husband works like a dog. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

Big law rarely provides life changing liquidity events or those bonuses you can retire on like finance and tech often do.

That's correct, no one time liquidity events that are life changing. But at 48 we have a net worth of $20 million, and I plan to retire in my mid-50s (probably with close to double that net worth). So it has provided an opportunity to retire wealthy at a relatively young age.

Do you have kids?

1, just starting high school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, not in a VHCOL area. What’s difficult to understand about that?

People in finance and tech make that much or more AND they work many fewer hours with much better work/life balance.

I totally get a Big Law Lawyer thinking “is this it????”

Correct. Big law takes the cake for awful somewhat remunerative career path. You’re much better off in tech and finance.

As a big law wife I can vouch for that. We aren’t poor but my husband works like a dog. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

Big law rarely provides life changing liquidity events or those bonuses you can retire on like finance and tech often do.

That's correct, no one time liquidity events that are life changing. But at 48 we have a net worth of $20 million, and I plan to retire in my mid-50s (probably with close to double that net worth). So it has provided an opportunity to retire wealthy at a relatively young age.

You’d have made more in PE and FAANG and been retired by now

That may be right. But I had no idea about those kinds of jobs 30 years ago. I grew up in poverty and since I did well in school, I was encouraged to be a doctor or a lawyer. Those were the paths I always thought were the ticket to a better life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just got back from NYC where I was helping my DD move in. We went grocery shopping and the bill came to $260, which is more than I usually spend for our family of 4 for a week! A pound of Starbucks coffee cost $22. Here it is $12.
This morning we went out for breakfast, bill came to $75 for 2 people, we each had eggs. She also had a lemonade.
My point is that absolutely everything in NYC is super expensive. I can totally see where she is coming from. But yes, don’t have 3 kids if you can’t afford to.

The only thing you've proven here is that neither you nor your daughter has any idea where to buy affordable groceries or which restaurants to frequent. I've lived in NYC for over twenty-five years, and my weekly grocery bill has never come anywhere near $260, nor have I ever gone to breakfast with another person and had the bill come to $75.

Not everyone eats low quality fried cheese at bodegas with cats urinating on the stove. Anything better will be PP’s costs.

You obviously know nothing about living in NYC or where to find great food (at grocery stores or in restaurants) for less in its boroughs. To take the Starbucks coffee as an example: I have no idea where the person who helped his/her adult child move to NYC went grocery shopping, but a 1 lb. bag of coffee is $13.95 at an actual Starbucks store.

Why would anyone leave Manhattan or the smell nice part of BK for “boroughs”? Let me take a ferry to buy cheaper groceries on SI….. not!

Have you been to NYC? Manhattan is a mixture of nice neighborhoods and rat/cockroach infested neighborhoods. Queens, Brooklyn specifically have some really nice neighborhoods and some hellholes just like Manhattan. It’s not like in the movies.

Queens does not have really nice neighborhoods. It has one okay place (LIC) that is largely made up of foreign or second generation professionals and is sterile. BK is okay from BK Heights through Carroll Gardens, Fort Greene and Park Slope are wildly overrated.

No one is disputing north of 96th in Manhattan sucks.

What is so nice about Long Island City? And unless you’re a real estate salesperson you don’t know anything about neighborhoods all over the city.

Most successful realtors specialize in 1-2 neighborhoods. If you are a cycler and adventurous you probably explored a lot of the city.

LIC has amenity rich high rises with incredible views of Manhattan and LI. It’s easy to get to midtown from there. You can’t say this about almost any other part of Queens which ranges from middle class suburban (Douglaston) to dumping ground of the world (Jackson heights). There’s lots of ugly brick (not brownstone…) and aluminum siding in the borough.

Realtors who specialize in 1-2 neighborhoods are a small percentage. Long Island City has a lot of brand new high rises that seem to be thrown up wherever there is a tiny space that can be filled. You will have constant loud construction for at least ten years. The nice high rises are surrounded by old warehouses. There are about 100 of the ugliest public housing buildings in LIC. LIC and Astoria are kind of blended. Some neighborhoods will use LIC, some will use Astoria for the same zip code.

Astoria doesn’t have classic brownstones but some sections have really nice row houses and townhomes. Astoria Park is a very calming place to walk around or do activities. Their outdoor pool is as big as a small pond. They also have great views of the skyline but you have choices of brand new buildings or older townhomes. I like that area a lot.

If you live on a decently high floor then noise isn’t an issue. A lot of areas have horrible NYCHA projects, it’s a net negative but we’re talking about Queens neighborhoods, not LIC v UES or Brooklyn Heights.

LIC and Astoria literally have their own addresses And are distinct. No one wants some public pool in Queens, that’s why you pay for a LIC condo with amenities. Please link a single nice Astoria townhouse that is on a street with other nice townhouses, doubtful.

Unless you live or know people who live in certain areas of Astoria you wouldn’t know. In certain neighborhoods people get mail labeled LIC or Astoria with the same zip code. I don’t think they have definitive lines drawn up yet.

I see Long Island City as a big jumbled mess. Projects are located on different areas of NYC but none compared to the LIC projects. It’s the largest in NYC taking up huge space. There’s massive industrial buildings that are not all that attractive.

I think it’s ok if you’re a young single or couple looking for high rise living. I wouldn’t suggest it for families.

I already wrote about Astoria Park. Look it up. Compare the open land on the water to LIC land on the water.

The city literally divides them with official addresses.

The parts of LIC professionals and families live in are far from the projects. Astoria is close to the Bronx, has a lot of aluminum siding, a lot of Greek “townies” who harass outsiders, and it is much more inconvenient to get to Manhattan.

This back and forth is rather pointless. No corporate attorney making 850k and sending 2-3 children to private school would ever consider Astoria. Never.

Discussing parts of NYC is not pointless as long as you know what you’re talking about. When mailing anything to parts of Astoria sometimes it comes out as LIC if you enter he zip code first. It can be confusing.

Someone making $850k and wanting to pay for private schools doesn’t have a lot of choices. Waitresses in high end restaurants make six figures. Where do you think people with family incomes of 850k live in NYC?

Wanting to pay for private school for 1 child has many choices, including post wars on Park Avenue. Two she’d have decent choices. Three is a stretch until you get to dumpster fires like Astoria.

A HHI of 850k can get you a decent 4BR on the UES, UWS, Sutton Place, and what are considered better parts of Brooklyn. Of course, the Redditor probably wasted a lot of money on frivolous expenses out of law school. If she had parked part of her paycheck in the S&P every two weeks (since she is a partner and has been working for some time) she’d have a very large downpayment. Instead she decided to pay for those waitresses incomes.

Since this is a DC forum I’ll translate for them. It’s like a financially stretched couple in Dupont looking to buy with a third on the way and she wants all three at Sidwell or St. Albans. You tell her Bloomingdale, Petworth, even Shaw aren’t that bad. This is after she has spent 15 years grinding in school and the corporate ladder. She’s not a starving artist, yet is encouraged to live in relative squalor compared to her similarly situated peers n

So what? I mean lots of us decided to stop at 1 or 2 kids and finances were certainly part of that discussion.

If your point is that this woman thinks the reqard for law school plus 10 years or work is she should be exempt from ever considering the financial impact of her decisions then all I can say is welcome to the real world.

Being limited to two children at 200k HHI is a very different discussion than being limited to three at 850k HHI because NYC is a uniquely bad deal in terms of cost for quality of life.

No one is saying she should be exempt. What we are saying is that many posters don’t realize an attorney parent in this situation isn’t moving to the ghetto for a 4BR and needs realistic, actionable advice. Telling some partner at Sullivan and Cromwell to move to Astoria is like telling a 5’2 man to dunk a basketball: it’s not going to happen

Who cares is my point. That is her problem and I have zero sympathy for her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just got back from NYC where I was helping my DD move in. We went grocery shopping and the bill came to $260, which is more than I usually spend for our family of 4 for a week! A pound of Starbucks coffee cost $22. Here it is $12.
This morning we went out for breakfast, bill came to $75 for 2 people, we each had eggs. She also had a lemonade.
My point is that absolutely everything in NYC is super expensive. I can totally see where she is coming from. But yes, don’t have 3 kids if you can’t afford to.

The only thing you've proven here is that neither you nor your daughter has any idea where to buy affordable groceries or which restaurants to frequent. I've lived in NYC for over twenty-five years, and my weekly grocery bill has never come anywhere near $260, nor have I ever gone to breakfast with another person and had the bill come to $75.

Not everyone eats low quality fried cheese at bodegas with cats urinating on the stove. Anything better will be PP’s costs.

You obviously know nothing about living in NYC or where to find great food (at grocery stores or in restaurants) for less in its boroughs. To take the Starbucks coffee as an example: I have no idea where the person who helped his/her adult child move to NYC went grocery shopping, but a 1 lb. bag of coffee is $13.95 at an actual Starbucks store.

Why would anyone leave Manhattan or the smell nice part of BK for “boroughs”? Let me take a ferry to buy cheaper groceries on SI….. not!

Have you been to NYC? Manhattan is a mixture of nice neighborhoods and rat/cockroach infested neighborhoods. Queens, Brooklyn specifically have some really nice neighborhoods and some hellholes just like Manhattan. It’s not like in the movies.

Queens does not have really nice neighborhoods. It has one okay place (LIC) that is largely made up of foreign or second generation professionals and is sterile. BK is okay from BK Heights through Carroll Gardens, Fort Greene and Park Slope are wildly overrated.

No one is disputing north of 96th in Manhattan sucks.

What is so nice about Long Island City? And unless you’re a real estate salesperson you don’t know anything about neighborhoods all over the city.

Most successful realtors specialize in 1-2 neighborhoods. If you are a cycler and adventurous you probably explored a lot of the city.

LIC has amenity rich high rises with incredible views of Manhattan and LI. It’s easy to get to midtown from there. You can’t say this about almost any other part of Queens which ranges from middle class suburban (Douglaston) to dumping ground of the world (Jackson heights). There’s lots of ugly brick (not brownstone…) and aluminum siding in the borough.

Realtors who specialize in 1-2 neighborhoods are a small percentage. Long Island City has a lot of brand new high rises that seem to be thrown up wherever there is a tiny space that can be filled. You will have constant loud construction for at least ten years. The nice high rises are surrounded by old warehouses. There are about 100 of the ugliest public housing buildings in LIC. LIC and Astoria are kind of blended. Some neighborhoods will use LIC, some will use Astoria for the same zip code.

Astoria doesn’t have classic brownstones but some sections have really nice row houses and townhomes. Astoria Park is a very calming place to walk around or do activities. Their outdoor pool is as big as a small pond. They also have great views of the skyline but you have choices of brand new buildings or older townhomes. I like that area a lot.

If you live on a decently high floor then noise isn’t an issue. A lot of areas have horrible NYCHA projects, it’s a net negative but we’re talking about Queens neighborhoods, not LIC v UES or Brooklyn Heights.

LIC and Astoria literally have their own addresses And are distinct. No one wants some public pool in Queens, that’s why you pay for a LIC condo with amenities. Please link a single nice Astoria townhouse that is on a street with other nice townhouses, doubtful.

Unless you live or know people who live in certain areas of Astoria you wouldn’t know. In certain neighborhoods people get mail labeled LIC or Astoria with the same zip code. I don’t think they have definitive lines drawn up yet.

I see Long Island City as a big jumbled mess. Projects are located on different areas of NYC but none compared to the LIC projects. It’s the largest in NYC taking up huge space. There’s massive industrial buildings that are not all that attractive.

I think it’s ok if you’re a young single or couple looking for high rise living. I wouldn’t suggest it for families.

I already wrote about Astoria Park. Look it up. Compare the open land on the water to LIC land on the water.

The city literally divides them with official addresses.

The parts of LIC professionals and families live in are far from the projects. Astoria is close to the Bronx, has a lot of aluminum siding, a lot of Greek “townies” who harass outsiders, and it is much more inconvenient to get to Manhattan.

This back and forth is rather pointless. No corporate attorney making 850k and sending 2-3 children to private school would ever consider Astoria. Never.

Discussing parts of NYC is not pointless as long as you know what you’re talking about. When mailing anything to parts of Astoria sometimes it comes out as LIC if you enter he zip code first. It can be confusing.

Someone making $850k and wanting to pay for private schools doesn’t have a lot of choices. Waitresses in high end restaurants make six figures. Where do you think people with family incomes of 850k live in NYC?

Wanting to pay for private school for 1 child has many choices, including post wars on Park Avenue. Two she’d have decent choices. Three is a stretch until you get to dumpster fires like Astoria.

A HHI of 850k can get you a decent 4BR on the UES, UWS, Sutton Place, and what are considered better parts of Brooklyn. Of course, the Redditor probably wasted a lot of money on frivolous expenses out of law school. If she had parked part of her paycheck in the S&P every two weeks (since she is a partner and has been working for some time) she’d have a very large downpayment. Instead she decided to pay for those waitresses incomes.

Since this is a DC forum I’ll translate for them. It’s like a financially stretched couple in Dupont looking to buy with a third on the way and she wants all three at Sidwell or St. Albans. You tell her Bloomingdale, Petworth, even Shaw aren’t that bad. This is after she has spent 15 years grinding in school and the corporate ladder. She’s not a starving artist, yet is encouraged to live in relative squalor compared to her similarly situated peers n

So what? I mean lots of us decided to stop at 1 or 2 kids and finances were certainly part of that discussion.

If your point is that this woman thinks the reqard for law school plus 10 years or work is she should be exempt from ever considering the financial impact of her decisions then all I can say is welcome to the real world.

Being limited to two children at 200k HHI is a very different discussion than being limited to three at 850k HHI because NYC is a uniquely bad deal in terms of cost for quality of life.

No one is saying she should be exempt. What we are saying is that many posters don’t realize an attorney parent in this situation isn’t moving to the ghetto for a 4BR and needs realistic, actionable advice. Telling some partner at Sullivan and Cromwell to move to Astoria is like telling a 5’2 man to dunk a basketball: it’s not going to happen

Who cares is my point. That is her problem and I have zero sympathy for her

Then why do you keep chiming in? Why not come out and say “I don’t care about people above X HHI” or be quiet instead of wasting everyone’s time.

Best of luck in the poor house

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, not in a VHCOL area. What’s difficult to understand about that?

People in finance and tech make that much or more AND they work many fewer hours with much better work/life balance.

I totally get a Big Law Lawyer thinking “is this it????”

Correct. Big law takes the cake for awful somewhat remunerative career path. You’re much better off in tech and finance.

As a big law wife I can vouch for that. We aren’t poor but my husband works like a dog. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

Big law rarely provides life changing liquidity events or those bonuses you can retire on like finance and tech often do.

That's correct, no one time liquidity events that are life changing. But at 48 we have a net worth of $20 million, and I plan to retire in my mid-50s (probably with close to double that net worth). So it has provided an opportunity to retire wealthy at a relatively young age.

You’d have made more in PE and FAANG and been retired by now

That may be right. But I had no idea about those kinds of jobs 30 years ago. I grew up in poverty and since I did well in school, I was encouraged to be a doctor or a lawyer. Those were the paths I always thought were the ticket to a better life.

And I respect that grind. The social backgrounds of big law attorneys tends to be lower than their peers in high finance. That said, I point this out not to be disrespectful but to illustrate for anyone younger to understand their choices. Becoming a big law attorney to live lavishly in nyc is a fools errand. Your only hope, short of inheriting or marrying money, is to start a business or enter high finance or tech and cash out ASAP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, not in a VHCOL area. What’s difficult to understand about that?

People in finance and tech make that much or more AND they work many fewer hours with much better work/life balance.

I totally get a Big Law Lawyer thinking “is this it????”

Correct. Big law takes the cake for awful somewhat remunerative career path. You’re much better off in tech and finance.

As a big law wife I can vouch for that. We aren’t poor but my husband works like a dog. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

Big law rarely provides life changing liquidity events or those bonuses you can retire on like finance and tech often do.

That's correct, no one time liquidity events that are life changing. But at 48 we have a net worth of $20 million, and I plan to retire in my mid-50s (probably with close to double that net worth). So it has provided an opportunity to retire wealthy at a relatively young age.

You’d have made more in PE and FAANG and been retired by now

That may be right. But I had no idea about those kinds of jobs 30 years ago. I grew up in poverty and since I did well in school, I was encouraged to be a doctor or a lawyer. Those were the paths I always thought were the ticket to a better life.

And I respect that grind. The social backgrounds of big law attorneys tends to be lower than their peers in high finance. That said, I point this out not to be disrespectful but to illustrate for anyone younger to understand their choices. Becoming a big law attorney to live lavishly in nyc is a fools errand. Your only hope, short of inheriting or marrying money, is to start a business or enter high finance or tech and cash out ASAP.

In don't necessarily disagree with that. Luckily, my daughter will have a much greater head start than I, and will likely be dating and marrying in a different social circle as well. With the money she'll get from us, she can avoid the same grind and still end up with a nice lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just got back from NYC where I was helping my DD move in. We went grocery shopping and the bill came to $260, which is more than I usually spend for our family of 4 for a week! A pound of Starbucks coffee cost $22. Here it is $12.
This morning we went out for breakfast, bill came to $75 for 2 people, we each had eggs. She also had a lemonade.
My point is that absolutely everything in NYC is super expensive. I can totally see where she is coming from. But yes, don’t have 3 kids if you can’t afford to.

The only thing you've proven here is that neither you nor your daughter has any idea where to buy affordable groceries or which restaurants to frequent. I've lived in NYC for over twenty-five years, and my weekly grocery bill has never come anywhere near $260, nor have I ever gone to breakfast with another person and had the bill come to $75.

Not everyone eats low quality fried cheese at bodegas with cats urinating on the stove. Anything better will be PP’s costs.

You obviously know nothing about living in NYC or where to find great food (at grocery stores or in restaurants) for less in its boroughs. To take the Starbucks coffee as an example: I have no idea where the person who helped his/her adult child move to NYC went grocery shopping, but a 1 lb. bag of coffee is $13.95 at an actual Starbucks store.

Why would anyone leave Manhattan or the smell nice part of BK for “boroughs”? Let me take a ferry to buy cheaper groceries on SI….. not!

Have you been to NYC? Manhattan is a mixture of nice neighborhoods and rat/cockroach infested neighborhoods. Queens, Brooklyn specifically have some really nice neighborhoods and some hellholes just like Manhattan. It’s not like in the movies.

Queens does not have really nice neighborhoods. It has one okay place (LIC) that is largely made up of foreign or second generation professionals and is sterile. BK is okay from BK Heights through Carroll Gardens, Fort Greene and Park Slope are wildly overrated.

No one is disputing north of 96th in Manhattan sucks.

What is so nice about Long Island City? And unless you’re a real estate salesperson you don’t know anything about neighborhoods all over the city.

Most successful realtors specialize in 1-2 neighborhoods. If you are a cycler and adventurous you probably explored a lot of the city.

LIC has amenity rich high rises with incredible views of Manhattan and LI. It’s easy to get to midtown from there. You can’t say this about almost any other part of Queens which ranges from middle class suburban (Douglaston) to dumping ground of the world (Jackson heights). There’s lots of ugly brick (not brownstone…) and aluminum siding in the borough.

Realtors who specialize in 1-2 neighborhoods are a small percentage. Long Island City has a lot of brand new high rises that seem to be thrown up wherever there is a tiny space that can be filled. You will have constant loud construction for at least ten years. The nice high rises are surrounded by old warehouses. There are about 100 of the ugliest public housing buildings in LIC. LIC and Astoria are kind of blended. Some neighborhoods will use LIC, some will use Astoria for the same zip code.

Astoria doesn’t have classic brownstones but some sections have really nice row houses and townhomes. Astoria Park is a very calming place to walk around or do activities. Their outdoor pool is as big as a small pond. They also have great views of the skyline but you have choices of brand new buildings or older townhomes. I like that area a lot.

If you live on a decently high floor then noise isn’t an issue. A lot of areas have horrible NYCHA projects, it’s a net negative but we’re talking about Queens neighborhoods, not LIC v UES or Brooklyn Heights.

LIC and Astoria literally have their own addresses And are distinct. No one wants some public pool in Queens, that’s why you pay for a LIC condo with amenities. Please link a single nice Astoria townhouse that is on a street with other nice townhouses, doubtful.

Unless you live or know people who live in certain areas of Astoria you wouldn’t know. In certain neighborhoods people get mail labeled LIC or Astoria with the same zip code. I don’t think they have definitive lines drawn up yet.

I see Long Island City as a big jumbled mess. Projects are located on different areas of NYC but none compared to the LIC projects. It’s the largest in NYC taking up huge space. There’s massive industrial buildings that are not all that attractive.

I think it’s ok if you’re a young single or couple looking for high rise living. I wouldn’t suggest it for families.

I already wrote about Astoria Park. Look it up. Compare the open land on the water to LIC land on the water.

The city literally divides them with official addresses.

The parts of LIC professionals and families live in are far from the projects. Astoria is close to the Bronx, has a lot of aluminum siding, a lot of Greek “townies” who harass outsiders, and it is much more inconvenient to get to Manhattan.

This back and forth is rather pointless. No corporate attorney making 850k and sending 2-3 children to private school would ever consider Astoria. Never.

Discussing parts of NYC is not pointless as long as you know what you’re talking about. When mailing anything to parts of Astoria sometimes it comes out as LIC if you enter he zip code first. It can be confusing.

Someone making $850k and wanting to pay for private schools doesn’t have a lot of choices. Waitresses in high end restaurants make six figures. Where do you think people with family incomes of 850k live in NYC?

Wanting to pay for private school for 1 child has many choices, including post wars on Park Avenue. Two she’d have decent choices. Three is a stretch until you get to dumpster fires like Astoria.

A HHI of 850k can get you a decent 4BR on the UES, UWS, Sutton Place, and what are considered better parts of Brooklyn. Of course, the Redditor probably wasted a lot of money on frivolous expenses out of law school. If she had parked part of her paycheck in the S&P every two weeks (since she is a partner and has been working for some time) she’d have a very large downpayment. Instead she decided to pay for those waitresses incomes.

Since this is a DC forum I’ll translate for them. It’s like a financially stretched couple in Dupont looking to buy with a third on the way and she wants all three at Sidwell or St. Albans. You tell her Bloomingdale, Petworth, even Shaw aren’t that bad. This is after she has spent 15 years grinding in school and the corporate ladder. She’s not a starving artist, yet is encouraged to live in relative squalor compared to her similarly situated peers n

All she needs to say is she only wants White neighborhoods and she’ll live in a small ugly apartment to achieve that goal.

Where are you getting any of this? She can’t even reasonably afford a single family in Bed-Stuy. The market is crazy. And there are plenty of crappy white areas like Gerritsen Beach or Mill Basin where she could have a mansion, she doesn’t want those either.

I know she can’t afford much. It might not be her, it might be these posters who have claimed no lawyer would live in Astoria. Lawyers live where they can afford to live just like every other job.

Those locations you suggested are too far out if you work in Manhattan. Too many posters can only seem to suggest white neighborhoods, never mind that they are out of her price range.

Again, there are no expensive and prestigious areas of Manhattan that aren’t predominantly white, unlike say Miami which has rich Latinos. The poster would never live in poorer white areas like Marine Park or Middle Village . This has nothing to do with race.

The responses absolutely are racist and trying to be elitist on a NYC middle income. First, she’s not rich so she needs to rule out certain areas like the UES or Tribeca. There are neighborhoods in the LES or Washington Heights that would be affordable for her but no one mentions those. The fact that people are saying the diverse neighborhoods in Astoria or Bay Ridge in Brooklyn are simply not fitting for a lawyer can only be racism.

[Anonymous]

The biggest problem this woman has isn’t mamdami or housing prices. It’s the beta male who she married. I’m sure not a day goes by where she doesn’t think, how did I get stuck with this broke, unambitious m’fr.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just got back from NYC where I was helping my DD move in. We went grocery shopping and the bill came to $260, which is more than I usually spend for our family of 4 for a week! A pound of Starbucks coffee cost $22. Here it is $12.
This morning we went out for breakfast, bill came to $75 for 2 people, we each had eggs. She also had a lemonade.
My point is that absolutely everything in NYC is super expensive. I can totally see where she is coming from. But yes, don’t have 3 kids if you can’t afford to.

The only thing you've proven here is that neither you nor your daughter has any idea where to buy affordable groceries or which restaurants to frequent. I've lived in NYC for over twenty-five years, and my weekly grocery bill has never come anywhere near $260, nor have I ever gone to breakfast with another person and had the bill come to $75.

Not everyone eats low quality fried cheese at bodegas with cats urinating on the stove. Anything better will be PP’s costs.

You obviously know nothing about living in NYC or where to find great food (at grocery stores or in restaurants) for less in its boroughs. To take the Starbucks coffee as an example: I have no idea where the person who helped his/her adult child move to NYC went grocery shopping, but a 1 lb. bag of coffee is $13.95 at an actual Starbucks store.

Why would anyone leave Manhattan or the smell nice part of BK for “boroughs”? Let me take a ferry to buy cheaper groceries on SI….. not!

Have you been to NYC? Manhattan is a mixture of nice neighborhoods and rat/cockroach infested neighborhoods. Queens, Brooklyn specifically have some really nice neighborhoods and some hellholes just like Manhattan. It’s not like in the movies.

Queens does not have really nice neighborhoods. It has one okay place (LIC) that is largely made up of foreign or second generation professionals and is sterile. BK is okay from BK Heights through Carroll Gardens, Fort Greene and Park Slope are wildly overrated.

No one is disputing north of 96th in Manhattan sucks.

What is so nice about Long Island City? And unless you’re a real estate salesperson you don’t know anything about neighborhoods all over the city.

Most successful realtors specialize in 1-2 neighborhoods. If you are a cycler and adventurous you probably explored a lot of the city.

LIC has amenity rich high rises with incredible views of Manhattan and LI. It’s easy to get to midtown from there. You can’t say this about almost any other part of Queens which ranges from middle class suburban (Douglaston) to dumping ground of the world (Jackson heights). There’s lots of ugly brick (not brownstone…) and aluminum siding in the borough.

Realtors who specialize in 1-2 neighborhoods are a small percentage. Long Island City has a lot of brand new high rises that seem to be thrown up wherever there is a tiny space that can be filled. You will have constant loud construction for at least ten years. The nice high rises are surrounded by old warehouses. There are about 100 of the ugliest public housing buildings in LIC. LIC and Astoria are kind of blended. Some neighborhoods will use LIC, some will use Astoria for the same zip code.

Astoria doesn’t have classic brownstones but some sections have really nice row houses and townhomes. Astoria Park is a very calming place to walk around or do activities. Their outdoor pool is as big as a small pond. They also have great views of the skyline but you have choices of brand new buildings or older townhomes. I like that area a lot.

If you live on a decently high floor then noise isn’t an issue. A lot of areas have horrible NYCHA projects, it’s a net negative but we’re talking about Queens neighborhoods, not LIC v UES or Brooklyn Heights.

LIC and Astoria literally have their own addresses And are distinct. No one wants some public pool in Queens, that’s why you pay for a LIC condo with amenities. Please link a single nice Astoria townhouse that is on a street with other nice townhouses, doubtful.

Unless you live or know people who live in certain areas of Astoria you wouldn’t know. In certain neighborhoods people get mail labeled LIC or Astoria with the same zip code. I don’t think they have definitive lines drawn up yet.

I see Long Island City as a big jumbled mess. Projects are located on different areas of NYC but none compared to the LIC projects. It’s the largest in NYC taking up huge space. There’s massive industrial buildings that are not all that attractive.

I think it’s ok if you’re a young single or couple looking for high rise living. I wouldn’t suggest it for families.

I already wrote about Astoria Park. Look it up. Compare the open land on the water to LIC land on the water.

The city literally divides them with official addresses.

The parts of LIC professionals and families live in are far from the projects. Astoria is close to the Bronx, has a lot of aluminum siding, a lot of Greek “townies” who harass outsiders, and it is much more inconvenient to get to Manhattan.

This back and forth is rather pointless. No corporate attorney making 850k and sending 2-3 children to private school would ever consider Astoria. Never.

Discussing parts of NYC is not pointless as long as you know what you’re talking about. When mailing anything to parts of Astoria sometimes it comes out as LIC if you enter he zip code first. It can be confusing.

Someone making $850k and wanting to pay for private schools doesn’t have a lot of choices. Waitresses in high end restaurants make six figures. Where do you think people with family incomes of 850k live in NYC?

Wanting to pay for private school for 1 child has many choices, including post wars on Park Avenue. Two she’d have decent choices. Three is a stretch until you get to dumpster fires like Astoria.

A HHI of 850k can get you a decent 4BR on the UES, UWS, Sutton Place, and what are considered better parts of Brooklyn. Of course, the Redditor probably wasted a lot of money on frivolous expenses out of law school. If she had parked part of her paycheck in the S&P every two weeks (since she is a partner and has been working for some time) she’d have a very large downpayment. Instead she decided to pay for those waitresses incomes.

Since this is a DC forum I’ll translate for them. It’s like a financially stretched couple in Dupont looking to buy with a third on the way and she wants all three at Sidwell or St. Albans. You tell her Bloomingdale, Petworth, even Shaw aren’t that bad. This is after she has spent 15 years grinding in school and the corporate ladder. She’s not a starving artist, yet is encouraged to live in relative squalor compared to her similarly situated peers n

So what? I mean lots of us decided to stop at 1 or 2 kids and finances were certainly part of that discussion.

If your point is that this woman thinks the reqard for law school plus 10 years or work is she should be exempt from ever considering the financial impact of her decisions then all I can say is welcome to the real world.

Being limited to two children at 200k HHI is a very different discussion than being limited to three at 850k HHI because NYC is a uniquely bad deal in terms of cost for quality of life.

No one is saying she should be exempt. What we are saying is that many posters don’t realize an attorney parent in this situation isn’t moving to the ghetto for a 4BR and needs realistic, actionable advice. Telling some partner at Sullivan and Cromwell to move to Astoria is like telling a 5’2 man to dunk a basketball: it’s not going to happen

Who cares is my point. That is her problem and I have zero sympathy for her

Then why do you keep chiming in? Why not come out and say “I don’t care about people above X HHI” or be quiet instead of wasting everyone’s time.

Best of luck in the poor house

It’s not actually that she’s so rich I don’t care about her — it’s not like she’s a billionaire or something.

It’s that the problem is in her attitude— the entitlement, the desire to live beyond her means.

I’m not poor by any measure —I live in a great location, sent my kid to good schools and spend whatever I want—but I still live within my means.

Same lesson as in David Copperfield—

Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen nineteen and six, result happiness; Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just got back from NYC where I was helping my DD move in. We went grocery shopping and the bill came to $260, which is more than I usually spend for our family of 4 for a week! A pound of Starbucks coffee cost $22. Here it is $12.
This morning we went out for breakfast, bill came to $75 for 2 people, we each had eggs. She also had a lemonade.
My point is that absolutely everything in NYC is super expensive. I can totally see where she is coming from. But yes, don’t have 3 kids if you can’t afford to.

The only thing you've proven here is that neither you nor your daughter has any idea where to buy affordable groceries or which restaurants to frequent. I've lived in NYC for over twenty-five years, and my weekly grocery bill has never come anywhere near $260, nor have I ever gone to breakfast with another person and had the bill come to $75.

Not everyone eats low quality fried cheese at bodegas with cats urinating on the stove. Anything better will be PP’s costs.

You obviously know nothing about living in NYC or where to find great food (at grocery stores or in restaurants) for less in its boroughs. To take the Starbucks coffee as an example: I have no idea where the person who helped his/her adult child move to NYC went grocery shopping, but a 1 lb. bag of coffee is $13.95 at an actual Starbucks store.

Why would anyone leave Manhattan or the smell nice part of BK for “boroughs”? Let me take a ferry to buy cheaper groceries on SI….. not!

Have you been to NYC? Manhattan is a mixture of nice neighborhoods and rat/cockroach infested neighborhoods. Queens, Brooklyn specifically have some really nice neighborhoods and some hellholes just like Manhattan. It’s not like in the movies.

Queens does not have really nice neighborhoods. It has one okay place (LIC) that is largely made up of foreign or second generation professionals and is sterile. BK is okay from BK Heights through Carroll Gardens, Fort Greene and Park Slope are wildly overrated.

No one is disputing north of 96th in Manhattan sucks.

What is so nice about Long Island City? And unless you’re a real estate salesperson you don’t know anything about neighborhoods all over the city.

Most successful realtors specialize in 1-2 neighborhoods. If you are a cycler and adventurous you probably explored a lot of the city.

LIC has amenity rich high rises with incredible views of Manhattan and LI. It’s easy to get to midtown from there. You can’t say this about almost any other part of Queens which ranges from middle class suburban (Douglaston) to dumping ground of the world (Jackson heights). There’s lots of ugly brick (not brownstone…) and aluminum siding in the borough.

Realtors who specialize in 1-2 neighborhoods are a small percentage. Long Island City has a lot of brand new high rises that seem to be thrown up wherever there is a tiny space that can be filled. You will have constant loud construction for at least ten years. The nice high rises are surrounded by old warehouses. There are about 100 of the ugliest public housing buildings in LIC. LIC and Astoria are kind of blended. Some neighborhoods will use LIC, some will use Astoria for the same zip code.

Astoria doesn’t have classic brownstones but some sections have really nice row houses and townhomes. Astoria Park is a very calming place to walk around or do activities. Their outdoor pool is as big as a small pond. They also have great views of the skyline but you have choices of brand new buildings or older townhomes. I like that area a lot.

If you live on a decently high floor then noise isn’t an issue. A lot of areas have horrible NYCHA projects, it’s a net negative but we’re talking about Queens neighborhoods, not LIC v UES or Brooklyn Heights.

LIC and Astoria literally have their own addresses And are distinct. No one wants some public pool in Queens, that’s why you pay for a LIC condo with amenities. Please link a single nice Astoria townhouse that is on a street with other nice townhouses, doubtful.

Unless you live or know people who live in certain areas of Astoria you wouldn’t know. In certain neighborhoods people get mail labeled LIC or Astoria with the same zip code. I don’t think they have definitive lines drawn up yet.

I see Long Island City as a big jumbled mess. Projects are located on different areas of NYC but none compared to the LIC projects. It’s the largest in NYC taking up huge space. There’s massive industrial buildings that are not all that attractive.

I think it’s ok if you’re a young single or couple looking for high rise living. I wouldn’t suggest it for families.

I already wrote about Astoria Park. Look it up. Compare the open land on the water to LIC land on the water.

The city literally divides them with official addresses.

The parts of LIC professionals and families live in are far from the projects. Astoria is close to the Bronx, has a lot of aluminum siding, a lot of Greek “townies” who harass outsiders, and it is much more inconvenient to get to Manhattan.

This back and forth is rather pointless. No corporate attorney making 850k and sending 2-3 children to private school would ever consider Astoria. Never.

Discussing parts of NYC is not pointless as long as you know what you’re talking about. When mailing anything to parts of Astoria sometimes it comes out as LIC if you enter he zip code first. It can be confusing.

Someone making $850k and wanting to pay for private schools doesn’t have a lot of choices. Waitresses in high end restaurants make six figures. Where do you think people with family incomes of 850k live in NYC?

Wanting to pay for private school for 1 child has many choices, including post wars on Park Avenue. Two she’d have decent choices. Three is a stretch until you get to dumpster fires like Astoria.

A HHI of 850k can get you a decent 4BR on the UES, UWS, Sutton Place, and what are considered better parts of Brooklyn. Of course, the Redditor probably wasted a lot of money on frivolous expenses out of law school. If she had parked part of her paycheck in the S&P every two weeks (since she is a partner and has been working for some time) she’d have a very large downpayment. Instead she decided to pay for those waitresses incomes.

Since this is a DC forum I’ll translate for them. It’s like a financially stretched couple in Dupont looking to buy with a third on the way and she wants all three at Sidwell or St. Albans. You tell her Bloomingdale, Petworth, even Shaw aren’t that bad. This is after she has spent 15 years grinding in school and the corporate ladder. She’s not a starving artist, yet is encouraged to live in relative squalor compared to her similarly situated peers n

All she needs to say is she only wants White neighborhoods and she’ll live in a small ugly apartment to achieve that goal.

Where are you getting any of this? She can’t even reasonably afford a single family in Bed-Stuy. The market is crazy. And there are plenty of crappy white areas like Gerritsen Beach or Mill Basin where she could have a mansion, she doesn’t want those either.

I know she can’t afford much. It might not be her, it might be these posters who have claimed no lawyer would live in Astoria. Lawyers live where they can afford to live just like every other job.

Those locations you suggested are too far out if you work in Manhattan. Too many posters can only seem to suggest white neighborhoods, never mind that they are out of her price range.

Again, there are no expensive and prestigious areas of Manhattan that aren’t predominantly white, unlike say Miami which has rich Latinos. The poster would never live in poorer white areas like Marine Park or Middle Village . This has nothing to do with race.

The responses absolutely are racist and trying to be elitist on a NYC middle income. First, she’s not rich so she needs to rule out certain areas like the UES or Tribeca. There are neighborhoods in the LES or Washington Heights that would be affordable for her but no one mentions those. The fact that people are saying the diverse neighborhoods in Astoria or Bay Ridge in Brooklyn are simply not fitting for a lawyer can only be racism.

Bay ridge is a maga hub, it’s not bushwick. Go recommend white downscale areas and see what they say. It’s not racism. You fetishize minorities.

Where will the kids play on the LES? Will they have family dinner at Beuaty and Essex? How are the schools in the Heights (lol)? The UES isn’t that expensive east of Lexington. It’s actually full of recent grads.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just got back from NYC where I was helping my DD move in. We went grocery shopping and the bill came to $260, which is more than I usually spend for our family of 4 for a week! A pound of Starbucks coffee cost $22. Here it is $12.
This morning we went out for breakfast, bill came to $75 for 2 people, we each had eggs. She also had a lemonade.
My point is that absolutely everything in NYC is super expensive. I can totally see where she is coming from. But yes, don’t have 3 kids if you can’t afford to.

The only thing you've proven here is that neither you nor your daughter has any idea where to buy affordable groceries or which restaurants to frequent. I've lived in NYC for over twenty-five years, and my weekly grocery bill has never come anywhere near $260, nor have I ever gone to breakfast with another person and had the bill come to $75.

Not everyone eats low quality fried cheese at bodegas with cats urinating on the stove. Anything better will be PP’s costs.

You obviously know nothing about living in NYC or where to find great food (at grocery stores or in restaurants) for less in its boroughs. To take the Starbucks coffee as an example: I have no idea where the person who helped his/her adult child move to NYC went grocery shopping, but a 1 lb. bag of coffee is $13.95 at an actual Starbucks store.

Why would anyone leave Manhattan or the smell nice part of BK for “boroughs”? Let me take a ferry to buy cheaper groceries on SI….. not!

Have you been to NYC? Manhattan is a mixture of nice neighborhoods and rat/cockroach infested neighborhoods. Queens, Brooklyn specifically have some really nice neighborhoods and some hellholes just like Manhattan. It’s not like in the movies.

Queens does not have really nice neighborhoods. It has one okay place (LIC) that is largely made up of foreign or second generation professionals and is sterile. BK is okay from BK Heights through Carroll Gardens, Fort Greene and Park Slope are wildly overrated.

No one is disputing north of 96th in Manhattan sucks.

What is so nice about Long Island City? And unless you’re a real estate salesperson you don’t know anything about neighborhoods all over the city.

Most successful realtors specialize in 1-2 neighborhoods. If you are a cycler and adventurous you probably explored a lot of the city.

LIC has amenity rich high rises with incredible views of Manhattan and LI. It’s easy to get to midtown from there. You can’t say this about almost any other part of Queens which ranges from middle class suburban (Douglaston) to dumping ground of the world (Jackson heights). There’s lots of ugly brick (not brownstone…) and aluminum siding in the borough.

Realtors who specialize in 1-2 neighborhoods are a small percentage. Long Island City has a lot of brand new high rises that seem to be thrown up wherever there is a tiny space that can be filled. You will have constant loud construction for at least ten years. The nice high rises are surrounded by old warehouses. There are about 100 of the ugliest public housing buildings in LIC. LIC and Astoria are kind of blended. Some neighborhoods will use LIC, some will use Astoria for the same zip code.

Astoria doesn’t have classic brownstones but some sections have really nice row houses and townhomes. Astoria Park is a very calming place to walk around or do activities. Their outdoor pool is as big as a small pond. They also have great views of the skyline but you have choices of brand new buildings or older townhomes. I like that area a lot.

If you live on a decently high floor then noise isn’t an issue. A lot of areas have horrible NYCHA projects, it’s a net negative but we’re talking about Queens neighborhoods, not LIC v UES or Brooklyn Heights.

LIC and Astoria literally have their own addresses And are distinct. No one wants some public pool in Queens, that’s why you pay for a LIC condo with amenities. Please link a single nice Astoria townhouse that is on a street with other nice townhouses, doubtful.

Unless you live or know people who live in certain areas of Astoria you wouldn’t know. In certain neighborhoods people get mail labeled LIC or Astoria with the same zip code. I don’t think they have definitive lines drawn up yet.

I see Long Island City as a big jumbled mess. Projects are located on different areas of NYC but none compared to the LIC projects. It’s the largest in NYC taking up huge space. There’s massive industrial buildings that are not all that attractive.

I think it’s ok if you’re a young single or couple looking for high rise living. I wouldn’t suggest it for families.

I already wrote about Astoria Park. Look it up. Compare the open land on the water to LIC land on the water.

The city literally divides them with official addresses.

The parts of LIC professionals and families live in are far from the projects. Astoria is close to the Bronx, has a lot of aluminum siding, a lot of Greek “townies” who harass outsiders, and it is much more inconvenient to get to Manhattan.

This back and forth is rather pointless. No corporate attorney making 850k and sending 2-3 children to private school would ever consider Astoria. Never.

Discussing parts of NYC is not pointless as long as you know what you’re talking about. When mailing anything to parts of Astoria sometimes it comes out as LIC if you enter he zip code first. It can be confusing.

Someone making $850k and wanting to pay for private schools doesn’t have a lot of choices. Waitresses in high end restaurants make six figures. Where do you think people with family incomes of 850k live in NYC?

Wanting to pay for private school for 1 child has many choices, including post wars on Park Avenue. Two she’d have decent choices. Three is a stretch until you get to dumpster fires like Astoria.

A HHI of 850k can get you a decent 4BR on the UES, UWS, Sutton Place, and what are considered better parts of Brooklyn. Of course, the Redditor probably wasted a lot of money on frivolous expenses out of law school. If she had parked part of her paycheck in the S&P every two weeks (since she is a partner and has been working for some time) she’d have a very large downpayment. Instead she decided to pay for those waitresses incomes.

Since this is a DC forum I’ll translate for them. It’s like a financially stretched couple in Dupont looking to buy with a third on the way and she wants all three at Sidwell or St. Albans. You tell her Bloomingdale, Petworth, even Shaw aren’t that bad. This is after she has spent 15 years grinding in school and the corporate ladder. She’s not a starving artist, yet is encouraged to live in relative squalor compared to her similarly situated peers n

So what? I mean lots of us decided to stop at 1 or 2 kids and finances were certainly part of that discussion.

If your point is that this woman thinks the reqard for law school plus 10 years or work is she should be exempt from ever considering the financial impact of her decisions then all I can say is welcome to the real world.

Being limited to two children at 200k HHI is a very different discussion than being limited to three at 850k HHI because NYC is a uniquely bad deal in terms of cost for quality of life.

No one is saying she should be exempt. What we are saying is that many posters don’t realize an attorney parent in this situation isn’t moving to the ghetto for a 4BR and needs realistic, actionable advice. Telling some partner at Sullivan and Cromwell to move to Astoria is like telling a 5’2 man to dunk a basketball: it’s not going to happen

Who cares is my point. That is her problem and I have zero sympathy for her

Then why do you keep chiming in? Why not come out and say “I don’t care about people above X HHI” or be quiet instead of wasting everyone’s time.

Best of luck in the poor house

It’s not actually that she’s so rich I don’t care about her — it’s not like she’s a billionaire or something.

It’s that the problem is in her attitude— the entitlement, the desire to live beyond her means.

I’m not poor by any measure —I live in a great location, sent my kid to good schools and spend whatever I want—but I still live within my means.

Same lesson as in David Copperfield—

Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen nineteen and six, result happiness; Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery.

And what’s your income? Much more than 850k? How can you afford it and she cannot with what is a high income anywhere outside of nyc? Somehow I think you’re lying. Just like you didn’t know bay ridge was full of maga whites with some Arabs mixed in.