Wife dies and husband adopts their 1 year old out to the aunt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - a lot of women do this, too. I know two women who abandoned their children. One moved across the country but does have a relationship with her child (she sees her twice a year) and the other one flat out abandoned the child and even the dad has no idea what happened to her. So you ladies need to shut it about this being a man only thing. Absolutely not true.

Very very rare.

According to statistics 20.2% are considered absent dads in the U.S. Approximately 5% or less are absent mothers.

So neither is "very vary rare."

[Anonymous]

This is well known, "According to available data, statistically, men are more likely to abandon children than women; therefore, women who abandon children are considered relatively rare compared to men."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP is the horrible one in this situation. Yes, it's great that the child is growing up with someone who loves and cares for her. But it's still astonishing to hear that a fully capable human just abandoned his child. People keep bringing up situations of drug abuse, jail, mental health issues, apparently none of which apply here. He just... didnt want his child. That's definitely judgement worthy. I don't think I could be friends with someone like that. I'm glad he had a vasectomy and will not be abandoning any more children.

People are giving all kinds of examples that do not apply to this. He wasn't a teen with an unwanted pregnancy.

He was a man who decided to have a child with his wife. After a year she was killed in a car crash. He could have easily asked that aunt, anmd other family to help him. Instead, he wanted zero ties, legal, financial etc. Thus adopted her out. You are right, as a society we should look down on any parent who behaves that way.

Instead you can see that most people are looking down on you.

Do better.

NP. No way. This man is a piece of shit.

No, he's not. He did the right thing. The child has a new mom who loves her. I applaud him. All children should be raised by people who want them. The horror stories I hear from my sister who is a family therapist would keep you up at night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stories like this are radicalizing to me. The fact that a man can still do this, in this day and age, and not just be shunned by society, is grotesque.

I know of a woman who bailed on her kids, left them with their (wonderful) father to go "live her own life" and she was rightly shunned by the whole community, including her parents and siblings and her oldest friends.

That's misogyny at work right there. As long as men are allowed to just abandon their children when it suits them, it's a problem for society. And it's been like this forever. And our president elect has even done this! (With Tiffany).

So if someone- mother or father- knows they're not likely to a good parent, you'd rather they keep their child to avoid social ostracization than find a better home for their child?

If we were talking about people with severe mental illness or physical disabilities, sure.

People who have kids and then simply decide they don't like being a parent should be held accountable for that. We want to discourage people from having kids they don't want to care for. A true inability to care for children is a different situation.

There are some serious forced-birther vibes going on here. You should probably move to a red state.

The opposite actually-- if you don't want to be a parent, don't have kids and I for sure want you to have access to abortion. Having an unwanted child is an act of cruelty.

I think lack of abortion access leads to child neglect and abandonment.

There isn't a reason unless he had some health issue to abandon his child. A toddler no less, is beyond cruel. Especially after losing the mother.

[Anonymous]

I know men who try to care for the kid and just do a terrible job. My friend left her two kids with her husband while she took a high powered job traveling the world. The kids are just struggling in all the social, academic and mental ways possible.

Dad really can't handle it. The kids need their mom. She has to quit and come home to truly raise her kids.

[Anonymous]

He gave the child to a blood relative, so DC will be raised by loving family members. I would have no problem with that.

Now if he has a pattern of jerk behavior, and his mindset was to unload the child to the first taker, that's a different matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all you adoptive parents. Yes you are real parents and love your children and your children still love you. I'm sure you gave them
Their bio parents most likely had great reasons for not parenting.

However, none of that changes that your child may still feel abandoned or some kind of loss related to their bio parents.
This is a very real thing.

I’m an adoptive parent and I agree with you that kids who were adopted often have feelings of loss and abandonment. However, this is not because they were adopted, this is because their bio parents were unable or unwilling to parent them. My guess is that if this man had decided not to do the adoption, but still had the same issues that led him to wanting the adoption in the first place, he would have ended up being a somewhat absent (even if physically present) father, which leads to the same feelings of loss and abandonment.

What if the mother died when the child was in elementary school, or a teen? Would that be ok to place the child with the aunt? We excuse men who run out on their families all the time when it's inexcusable. Sure it sucks to be a single parent, but abandoning your child because your life will be easier isn't right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know men who try to care for the kid and just do a terrible job. My friend left her two kids with her husband while she took a high powered job traveling the world. The kids are just struggling in all the social, academic and mental ways possible.

Dad really can't handle it. The kids need their mom. She has to quit and come home to truly raise her kids.

Totally different. She married a shitty guy, another thread!

[Anonymous]

All those men that run out on their families then can have the same excuse according to some posters on here. Junior has mom and a lot of blood relatives. I'm outta here and free!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP is the horrible one in this situation. Yes, it's great that the child is growing up with someone who loves and cares for her. But it's still astonishing to hear that a fully capable human just abandoned his child. People keep bringing up situations of drug abuse, jail, mental health issues, apparently none of which apply here. He just... didnt want his child. That's definitely judgement worthy. I don't think I could be friends with someone like that. I'm glad he had a vasectomy and will not be abandoning any more children.

Then you are judging at least half of the black community, where more than 70 percent of children are born without a father in the home. They are not fighting for custody.

I think there's even a small difference between "not fighting for custody" for a child who has a mother, and completely abandoning them with no parent.

The OP didn't describe a situation where a child was left without a parent.

The mom died and the dad abandoned her.

The father didn't abandon her without a parent. She had an adoptive mother.



Or do adoptive parents not count as parents?

The father was very responsible and I admire him for his caring actions to place his child for adoption with a loving mom. There is no problem or controversy here. This is simply a "family adoption " -- actually, the most common kind of adoption there is. There was no "abandonment." Just how ignorant is the OP??

People on this board claim to be so intelligent and educated but as you can see, they clearly are not.

--social worker

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP is the horrible one in this situation. Yes, it's great that the child is growing up with someone who loves and cares for her. But it's still astonishing to hear that a fully capable human just abandoned his child. People keep bringing up situations of drug abuse, jail, mental health issues, apparently none of which apply here. He just... didnt want his child. That's definitely judgement worthy. I don't think I could be friends with someone like that. I'm glad he had a vasectomy and will not be abandoning any more children.

People are giving all kinds of examples that do not apply to this. He wasn't a teen with an unwanted pregnancy.

He was a man who decided to have a child with his wife. After a year she was killed in a car crash. He could have easily asked that aunt, anmd other family to help him. Instead, he wanted zero ties, legal, financial etc. Thus adopted her out. You are right, as a society we should look down on any parent who behaves that way.

Instead you can see that most people are looking down on you.

Do better.

NP. No way. This man is a piece of shit.

Sure, OP. Go back to your anti-choice protest.

Not OP. I have no idea why you’re conflating being anti-choice with being anti-abandoning your child after your wife dies. This couple made THE CHOICE to bring a child into the world. He should step up and care for his child. Honestly, people will forgive men such bad behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP is the horrible one in this situation. Yes, it's great that the child is growing up with someone who loves and cares for her. But it's still astonishing to hear that a fully capable human just abandoned his child. People keep bringing up situations of drug abuse, jail, mental health issues, apparently none of which apply here. He just... didnt want his child. That's definitely judgement worthy. I don't think I could be friends with someone like that. I'm glad he had a vasectomy and will not be abandoning any more children.

Then you are judging at least half of the black community, where more than 70 percent of children are born without a father in the home. They are not fighting for custody.

I think there's even a small difference between "not fighting for custody" for a child who has a mother, and completely abandoning them with no parent.

The OP didn't describe a situation where a child was left without a parent.

The mom died and the dad abandoned her.

The father didn't abandon her without a parent. She had an adoptive mother.



Or do adoptive parents not count as parents?

The father was very responsible and I admire him for his caring actions to place his child for adoption with a loving mom. There is no problem or controversy here. This is simply a "family adoption " -- actually, the most common kind of adoption there is. There was no "abandonment." Just how ignorant is the OP??

People on this board claim to be so intelligent and educated but as you can see, they clearly are not.

--social worker

I don't think the OP ever claimed to be educated or intelligent. And clearly she's neither.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For all you adoptive parents. Yes you are real parents and love your children and your children still love you. I'm sure you gave them
Their bio parents most likely had great reasons for not parenting.

However, none of that changes that your child may still feel abandoned or some kind of loss related to their bio parents.
This is a very real thing.

This person posts the same sh*t on every thread that mentions adoption. This is a an angry poster who watches too much TV.

I am adopted and there is no "loss." No pop-a-doodle psychology needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP is the horrible one in this situation. Yes, it's great that the child is growing up with someone who loves and cares for her. But it's still astonishing to hear that a fully capable human just abandoned his child. People keep bringing up situations of drug abuse, jail, mental health issues, apparently none of which apply here. He just... didnt want his child. That's definitely judgement worthy. I don't think I could be friends with someone like that. I'm glad he had a vasectomy and will not be abandoning any more children.

Then you are judging at least half of the black community, where more than 70 percent of children are born without a father in the home. They are not fighting for custody.

I think there's even a small difference between "not fighting for custody" for a child who has a mother, and completely abandoning them with no parent.

The OP didn't describe a situation where a child was left without a parent.

The mom died and the dad abandoned her.

The father didn't abandon her without a parent. She had an adoptive mother.



Or do adoptive parents not count as parents?

The father was very responsible and I admire him for his caring actions to place his child for adoption with a loving mom. There is no problem or controversy here. This is simply a "family adoption " -- actually, the most common kind of adoption there is. There was no "abandonment." Just how ignorant is the OP??

People on this board claim to be so intelligent and educated but as you can see, they clearly are not.

--social worker

I guess you're not so smart after all lol. He's no different than those men who abandon their families to chase the next woman minus the burden of having a child. You should have read the thread more closely. He had plenty of help from his own family, and her family without getting rid of the child altogether. The daughter stopped talking to him years ago because of all the resentment. It wasn't a simple family adoption. You clearly are NOT intelligent, I hope you are not a social worker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP is the horrible one in this situation. Yes, it's great that the child is growing up with someone who loves and cares for her. But it's still astonishing to hear that a fully capable human just abandoned his child. People keep bringing up situations of drug abuse, jail, mental health issues, apparently none of which apply here. He just... didnt want his child. That's definitely judgement worthy. I don't think I could be friends with someone like that. I'm glad he had a vasectomy and will not be abandoning any more children.

People are giving all kinds of examples that do not apply to this. He wasn't a teen with an unwanted pregnancy.

He was a man who decided to have a child with his wife. After a year she was killed in a car crash. He could have easily asked that aunt, anmd other family to help him. Instead, he wanted zero ties, legal, financial etc. Thus adopted her out. You are right, as a society we should look down on any parent who behaves that way.

Instead you can see that most people are looking down on you.

Do better.

NP. No way. This man is a piece of shit.

Sure, OP. Go back to your anti-choice protest.

Not OP. I have no idea why you’re conflating being anti-choice with being anti-abandoning your child after your wife dies. This couple made THE CHOICE to bring a child into the world. He should step up and care for his child. Honestly, people will forgive men such bad behavior.

That's *exactly* the argument the anti-choice people try to make. Exactly.