Just got yelled at for leaving my kid alone in in the car while I went to the pharmacy

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You can totally leave it running for the AC, leave the key fob with the kid and have them lock the door. Then when you get back, they unlock it for you. 7 is plenty old to do this.

I worry about a car jacker showing up with a gun and demanding that the car be unlocked.

You are worrying about a fantasy that will never happen.

Yeah. You tell ‘em.

Or…

https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/two-juveniles-sought-in-car-theft-with-child-inside-in-northwest-dc-police/3172083/

https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/4-month-old-girl-found-after-being-taken-in-georgetown-car-theft/3508529/

Those cars were not parked in parking lots with security guards-- they were parked on the street.

The kids in those cases were much younger. In the case of the infant, the carjacker likely did not even realize the baby was in the car for some time.

It's also not clear how long those cars were left idling. In the infant case the mom left the car to go into a perfume store (wtf). Are these cases of people running short errands nearby or are they cases of people using leaving kids in idling cars for 30 or 60 minutes?

The PP is envisioning a situation where a carjacker approaches a locked car with a 7 year old visible in the back seat, and in full view of the security guard and what I'm sure are security cameras outside the pharmacy, points a gun at the child and demands they unlock the car. In the 3-5 minutes the mom was inside the pharmacy.

This will not happen.

So the security guard was babysitting the child? Is that his job?

I actually do think it's his job. It was a few minutes and the mom was right inside. The child is 7, not 2.

The other day I was at the grocery store with my 8 yr old and it started pouring rain while we were in the store. DD was in flipflops (post swim class) and I decided to run and get the car and pick her up at the curb. I left her in the vestibule next to the door. I did consider this a reasonably safe option in part because there was a security guard posted near the door and the area is monitored by cameras.

Am I a derelict parent for leaving an elementary kid alone in public for a few minutes?

You alone think his job is childcare for lazy parents. Do you leave your children with strangers often without even checking with them letting them know they are in charge? Do you dump your 7 yr old at the pool for the day because the lifegaurds will take over? At the mall? Or anywhere with a security guard because it’s their job to watch kids?

DP but I don’t think it’s fair to equate this to childcare. The security guard has the purpose of deterring crime whether it’s for a 7 year old sitting in a car or a 70 year old sitting in a car. If the kid were 8 (or 10 or whatever age DCUM declares is ok) then it wouldn’t be babysitting, but at 7 it is?

OP’s error was leaving the car running. Also, I have my pharmacy at the grocery store so I can pick it up during routine shopping. There are also pharmacies with drive throughs. These may be better options for the future.

You’re putting your kid’s life in a security guard’s hands? The same security guard who is probably told to stand down and not pursue criminals? Hardened criminals won’t be deterred by a toothless rent a cop.

Okay but when I’m in that shopping center I’m also putting my own life in the hands of the rent a cop. I’m a 5’0 100 lb female who could not fight off a car jacker. Neither could most 75 year old ladies. Why is it ok for him to supposedly be there to protect adults but not kids?

np. Rent-a-cops won't protect you if there is a danger. Retail security guards aren't paid enough to put their own life in danger, nor does the store want to deal with potential assault claims.

The fact that a security guard could detain someone committing a crime will deter most people. The security guard is also, as pp stated, mostly there to stop theft.

Ok so the security guard is a red herring. Take the security guard out of the equation and assume he can’t stop a thing. He can’t stop a carjacking but he also can’t stop a car/pedestrian accident or mass shooting etc.

One might ask why he is even there then if he is pointless.

Probably just to be on the lookout for unusual activity and call the police as needed. It may possibly be a deterrent. But in all likelihood isn’t going to stop someone hellbent on committing a crime.

+1 That security guard worked out real well in Uvalde. I had no idea people put so much blind trust in a security guard.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You can totally leave it running for the AC, leave the key fob with the kid and have them lock the door. Then when you get back, they unlock it for you. 7 is plenty old to do this.

I worry about a car jacker showing up with a gun and demanding that the car be unlocked.

You are worrying about a fantasy that will never happen.

Yeah. You tell ‘em.

Or…

https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/two-juveniles-sought-in-car-theft-with-child-inside-in-northwest-dc-police/3172083/

https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/4-month-old-girl-found-after-being-taken-in-georgetown-car-theft/3508529/

Those cars were not parked in parking lots with security guards-- they were parked on the street.

The kids in those cases were much younger. In the case of the infant, the carjacker likely did not even realize the baby was in the car for some time.

It's also not clear how long those cars were left idling. In the infant case the mom left the car to go into a perfume store (wtf). Are these cases of people running short errands nearby or are they cases of people using leaving kids in idling cars for 30 or 60 minutes?

The PP is envisioning a situation where a carjacker approaches a locked car with a 7 year old visible in the back seat, and in full view of the security guard and what I'm sure are security cameras outside the pharmacy, points a gun at the child and demands they unlock the car. In the 3-5 minutes the mom was inside the pharmacy.

This will not happen.

So the security guard was babysitting the child? Is that his job?

I actually do think it's his job. It was a few minutes and the mom was right inside. The child is 7, not 2.

The other day I was at the grocery store with my 8 yr old and it started pouring rain while we were in the store. DD was in flipflops (post swim class) and I decided to run and get the car and pick her up at the curb. I left her in the vestibule next to the door. I did consider this a reasonably safe option in part because there was a security guard posted near the door and the area is monitored by cameras.

Am I a derelict parent for leaving an elementary kid alone in public for a few minutes?

It is your primary responsibility as a parent to keep your child safe. You make the guard’s job harder by handing over that job to the guard because you can’t turn off the car while you run into the store. So self-centered.

Again -- in a functional society no one considers a security guard keeping an eye on an older kid in a car for 10 minutes to be "baby-sitting." It's just being a person in society. But the US is not functional around families and children so we have this deranged idea that from birth until like 12 or 13 a parent must have eyes on their child at all times OR be paying a professional child minder to watch their kid. It is nonsensical and is actually BAD for kids in the long run.

The point is that a 7 year old is actually perfectly capable of handling themselves in a car for a few minutes. The security guard is not a baby-sitter (it's not a baby!) but is a layer of social protection against some of the rare and unlikely circumstances people are fretting about -- a carjacking or car accident. Those things are almost definitely not going to happen and the presence of a security guard makes them less likely.

This is how watching kids works in normal societies where kids are viewed as normal and necessary. People in other countries do not freak out when they see an unattended 7 year old in a public space where there are responsible adults present because why would they -- that kid is safe. It is only in the US where we have all been convinced that this is a dangerous situation thanks to the efforts of scare mongers who are mostly trying to rally hatred of working mothers and poor people (if it's illegal to leave any child alone for any length of time for any reason then I guess women have to stay home with kids for 18 years and poor people should not have kids at all right).

It’s not his job. If he’s busy watching the kid then he’s not doing his actual job. What a selfish viewpoint. It’s your job to keep an eye on your own kids and you’re neglecting it. Why aren’t you doing the job youself?

It’s not a job! It’s a child living their life in a public space. It’s perfectly safe.

But I won’t do it. Because of people like you. And it adds to the stress of parenting.

The birth rate will continue to decline. The high costs combined with the intense expectations are just unbearable.

I did my part. I had 3 kids. And I made them come with me to run errands and into the store and carried my tantrum prone daughter like a football to drop her older brother off in preschool because we weren’t allowed to leave them in the car. My daughter wanted to stay and play too, so dragging her in for drop off was a nightmare but i had no choice. Everyone gets through it. Luckily my kids are legit old enough to stay at home. I don’t leave them in the car because they will for sure fight. Mostly I just plan my errands for when the kids aren’t with me. Your 7 yr olds aren’t old enough yet but will be soon.

Every time you take a little kid through a busy parking lot you are putting them at greater risk of bodily harm than just leaving them in the car for a few minutes.

Idiots.

Point is, I don’t make the rules. I follow them and don’t ask for exceptions. I personally know a mom who had CPS visit her after leaving her kid in a car to pick up a pizza. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

In the example you give it sounds like CPS was stupid. What a waste of resources! The mom in your story did not "play stupid games" -- she picked up dinner for her kids and made a perfectly reasonable judgment call to leave her kid in the car while she ran inside. She also didn't "win stupid prizes" as I guarantee the "investigation" didn't go beyond a home visit that I'm sure CPS immediately felt resolved the case in favor of the mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, my kid is 7 years old. I left him inside the car with it running while I went to go pick up my medication from the pharmacy. He asked me to, since he didn’t want to come in with me. I tried to tempt him but he wasn’t into it, so I told him he could stay in the car. I come out and a security guard started yelling at me, questioning me about where I was and saying I can’t leave my kid alone in the car until he is a teenager. He also went to my car and questioned my child. My kid is responsible because he has a special needs brother. For example, he is responsible in the morning for making sure his brother gets to his classroom because we aren’t allowed in (the school suggested this to us). Thoughts? Is it really a crime to leave a 7 year old in the car for 10 minutes?

The real question is why didn't your kid listen and go into the store with you? It isn't that your kid isn't old enough the problem is with the car running we have had carjackings. So you kid could have been kidnapped.

I would punish for not listening/obeying you when you told him go into the store.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You can totally leave it running for the AC, leave the key fob with the kid and have them lock the door. Then when you get back, they unlock it for you. 7 is plenty old to do this.

I worry about a car jacker showing up with a gun and demanding that the car be unlocked.

You are worrying about a fantasy that will never happen.

Yeah. You tell ‘em.

Or…

https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/two-juveniles-sought-in-car-theft-with-child-inside-in-northwest-dc-police/3172083/

https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/4-month-old-girl-found-after-being-taken-in-georgetown-car-theft/3508529/

Those cars were not parked in parking lots with security guards-- they were parked on the street.

The kids in those cases were much younger. In the case of the infant, the carjacker likely did not even realize the baby was in the car for some time.

It's also not clear how long those cars were left idling. In the infant case the mom left the car to go into a perfume store (wtf). Are these cases of people running short errands nearby or are they cases of people using leaving kids in idling cars for 30 or 60 minutes?

The PP is envisioning a situation where a carjacker approaches a locked car with a 7 year old visible in the back seat, and in full view of the security guard and what I'm sure are security cameras outside the pharmacy, points a gun at the child and demands they unlock the car. In the 3-5 minutes the mom was inside the pharmacy.

This will not happen.

So the security guard was babysitting the child? Is that his job?

I actually do think it's his job. It was a few minutes and the mom was right inside. The child is 7, not 2.

The other day I was at the grocery store with my 8 yr old and it started pouring rain while we were in the store. DD was in flipflops (post swim class) and I decided to run and get the car and pick her up at the curb. I left her in the vestibule next to the door. I did consider this a reasonably safe option in part because there was a security guard posted near the door and the area is monitored by cameras.

Am I a derelict parent for leaving an elementary kid alone in public for a few minutes?

It is your primary responsibility as a parent to keep your child safe. You make the guard’s job harder by handing over that job to the guard because you can’t turn off the car while you run into the store. So self-centered.

Again -- in a functional society no one considers a security guard keeping an eye on an older kid in a car for 10 minutes to be "baby-sitting." It's just being a person in society. But the US is not functional around families and children so we have this deranged idea that from birth until like 12 or 13 a parent must have eyes on their child at all times OR be paying a professional child minder to watch their kid. It is nonsensical and is actually BAD for kids in the long run.

The point is that a 7 year old is actually perfectly capable of handling themselves in a car for a few minutes. The security guard is not a baby-sitter (it's not a baby!) but is a layer of social protection against some of the rare and unlikely circumstances people are fretting about -- a carjacking or car accident. Those things are almost definitely not going to happen and the presence of a security guard makes them less likely.

This is how watching kids works in normal societies where kids are viewed as normal and necessary. People in other countries do not freak out when they see an unattended 7 year old in a public space where there are responsible adults present because why would they -- that kid is safe. It is only in the US where we have all been convinced that this is a dangerous situation thanks to the efforts of scare mongers who are mostly trying to rally hatred of working mothers and poor people (if it's illegal to leave any child alone for any length of time for any reason then I guess women have to stay home with kids for 18 years and poor people should not have kids at all right).

It’s not his job. If he’s busy watching the kid then he’s not doing his actual job. What a selfish viewpoint. It’s your job to keep an eye on your own kids and you’re neglecting it. Why aren’t you doing the job youself?

It’s not a job! It’s a child living their life in a public space. It’s perfectly safe.

But I won’t do it. Because of people like you. And it adds to the stress of parenting.

The birth rate will continue to decline. The high costs combined with the intense expectations are just unbearable.

I did my part. I had 3 kids. And I made them come with me to run errands and into the store and carried my tantrum prone daughter like a football to drop her older brother off in preschool because we weren’t allowed to leave them in the car. My daughter wanted to stay and play too, so dragging her in for drop off was a nightmare but i had no choice. Everyone gets through it. Luckily my kids are legit old enough to stay at home. I don’t leave them in the car because they will for sure fight. Mostly I just plan my errands for when the kids aren’t with me. Your 7 yr olds aren’t old enough yet but will be soon.

Every time you take a little kid through a busy parking lot you are putting them at greater risk of bodily harm than just leaving them in the car for a few minutes.

Idiots.

Point is, I don’t make the rules. I follow them and don’t ask for exceptions. I personally know a mom who had CPS visit her after leaving her kid in a car to pick up a pizza. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

OP *did* follow the rules for her jurisdiction. And yet she got chastised by a judgy busybody security guard, which is honestly a much bigger risk than a carjacking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - last time. I won’t be leaving my kid in the car again. This was a safe neighborhood, not some crime ridden CVS in the hoods?!? of Nothern Virginia. There is a reason the security guard was there that doesn’t really have anything to do with crime. I’m not going to say why because I feel like that would give away more information than I am comfortable with.

People saying that I don’t parent are ridiculous, or that I am lazy. No, I think my son is responsible enough to be left in the car. He is risk averse and not the type of kid to try and drive the car; we’ve spoken about that. There was obviously a security guard there. Last night I had to have another conversation with him where I told him he did nothing wrong and I was wrong (I still don’t think what I did was wrong but obviously we live in a society so). The security guard scared him, because he questioned him and because he was correcting me. I mean, I just wonder about raising a kid in a society where he can’t be left alone for a second and we have to constantly be afraid of carjackers and kidnappers in the hood that is Northern Virginia. When I was his age, I could go outside and play with my friends with no adult supervision. Our society is so anti-family and so wrapped up in fear. Anyway whatever. I’ve been chastised. I’ll wait until he is 13? before I leave him alone again. The mom shamers have been vindicated.

You were wrong. Just turn off the engine. Not hard.

It really matters little whether this was illegal. It was stupid. People do legal but stupid things all the time.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:It's against the law where I am but I do it occasionally. My toddler was sick, fell asleep in the car, older siblings had an outdoor swim lesson. I double parked where I shouldn't have and kept checking on him for drop off/pick up. Sue me!

So you illegally parked and illegally left your child in the car? Wow parent of the year here

Should I have blown off the last swim lesson where I would have found out if they passed the level or should I have drug the sick toddler out of the car?

You seem awfully proud of what you did. Hope the yelling made your day. You deserved it.

I'm not OP. Nothing happened.

Now, would you please answer the question?

No. Don’t leave kids in the car. Or you get what you get. You’re not above the law.

I was above the law on Thursday!

I also speed and have overdue library books. Mwahahahahahaa

In Maryland that is no longer a fineable offense.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You can totally leave it running for the AC, leave the key fob with the kid and have them lock the door. Then when you get back, they unlock it for you. 7 is plenty old to do this.

I worry about a car jacker showing up with a gun and demanding that the car be unlocked.

You are worrying about a fantasy that will never happen.

Yeah. You tell ‘em.

Or…

https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/two-juveniles-sought-in-car-theft-with-child-inside-in-northwest-dc-police/3172083/

https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/4-month-old-girl-found-after-being-taken-in-georgetown-car-theft/3508529/

Those cars were not parked in parking lots with security guards-- they were parked on the street.

The kids in those cases were much younger. In the case of the infant, the carjacker likely did not even realize the baby was in the car for some time.

It's also not clear how long those cars were left idling. In the infant case the mom left the car to go into a perfume store (wtf). Are these cases of people running short errands nearby or are they cases of people using leaving kids in idling cars for 30 or 60 minutes?

The PP is envisioning a situation where a carjacker approaches a locked car with a 7 year old visible in the back seat, and in full view of the security guard and what I'm sure are security cameras outside the pharmacy, points a gun at the child and demands they unlock the car. In the 3-5 minutes the mom was inside the pharmacy.

This will not happen.

So the security guard was babysitting the child? Is that his job?

I actually do think it's his job. It was a few minutes and the mom was right inside. The child is 7, not 2.

The other day I was at the grocery store with my 8 yr old and it started pouring rain while we were in the store. DD was in flipflops (post swim class) and I decided to run and get the car and pick her up at the curb. I left her in the vestibule next to the door. I did consider this a reasonably safe option in part because there was a security guard posted near the door and the area is monitored by cameras.

Am I a derelict parent for leaving an elementary kid alone in public for a few minutes?

It is your primary responsibility as a parent to keep your child safe. You make the guard’s job harder by handing over that job to the guard because you can’t turn off the car while you run into the store. So self-centered.

Again -- in a functional society no one considers a security guard keeping an eye on an older kid in a car for 10 minutes to be "baby-sitting." It's just being a person in society. But the US is not functional around families and children so we have this deranged idea that from birth until like 12 or 13 a parent must have eyes on their child at all times OR be paying a professional child minder to watch their kid. It is nonsensical and is actually BAD for kids in the long run.

The point is that a 7 year old is actually perfectly capable of handling themselves in a car for a few minutes. The security guard is not a baby-sitter (it's not a baby!) but is a layer of social protection against some of the rare and unlikely circumstances people are fretting about -- a carjacking or car accident. Those things are almost definitely not going to happen and the presence of a security guard makes them less likely.

This is how watching kids works in normal societies where kids are viewed as normal and necessary. People in other countries do not freak out when they see an unattended 7 year old in a public space where there are responsible adults present because why would they -- that kid is safe. It is only in the US where we have all been convinced that this is a dangerous situation thanks to the efforts of scare mongers who are mostly trying to rally hatred of working mothers and poor people (if it's illegal to leave any child alone for any length of time for any reason then I guess women have to stay home with kids for 18 years and poor people should not have kids at all right).

It’s not his job. If he’s busy watching the kid then he’s not doing his actual job. What a selfish viewpoint. It’s your job to keep an eye on your own kids and you’re neglecting it. Why aren’t you doing the job youself?

It’s not a job! It’s a child living their life in a public space. It’s perfectly safe.

But I won’t do it. Because of people like you. And it adds to the stress of parenting.

The birth rate will continue to decline. The high costs combined with the intense expectations are just unbearable.

I did my part. I had 3 kids. And I made them come with me to run errands and into the store and carried my tantrum prone daughter like a football to drop her older brother off in preschool because we weren’t allowed to leave them in the car. My daughter wanted to stay and play too, so dragging her in for drop off was a nightmare but i had no choice. Everyone gets through it. Luckily my kids are legit old enough to stay at home. I don’t leave them in the car because they will for sure fight. Mostly I just plan my errands for when the kids aren’t with me. Your 7 yr olds aren’t old enough yet but will be soon.

Your tantruming kid could have slipped from your arms and ran in front of a car. Or fallen and hit her head.

Like you do realize there’s a small risk of something bad happening in either scenario. You’re not morally superior for dragging a screaming kid out of the car. Also I too have 3 kids (ages 10, 7, and 3) and none of my kids scream at having to run an errand. Soooo I can one up you there if you want to play that game.

Well, my tantrumming kid also has special needs, but yay you for not having that extra burden! She has a developmental disability, are we still playing the game?

Oooh I knew you were going to say that and I almost my mentioned in my prior post I have a kid with SNs (AuDHD). I know how to avoid taking him places when he may get dysregulated.

Cool, cool. Guess you don’t have to deal with leaving a kid in a car bc you never have to take your kids everywhere. So not sure what your issue is here? You have no experience. Also of course you knew i was gojng to say that because kids acting inappropriately usually have a reason why theh act that way. But you knew that, supposedly.

I was mimicking how asinine your “I had 3 kids so I did my part and I did it better than you” spiel was. You’re not a better parent just because you took your tantruming kid into a store. You assessed the risks and made a choice that was right for you. But there were still small risks of taking them into the store. Just like there are small risks of leaving a kid in the car. One isn’t necessarily morally superior than the other.

Ok. I didn’t “assess the risks” i had a toddler and it was against the rules to leave kids in the car. I didn’t decide the rule didn’t apply to me because I’m an uppity princess. You acting like people don’t have more kids because of leaving kids in cars rules is what is asinine.

DP. The example you gave was of a preschool that had a rule that you not leave kids in cars when you pick up your kids. I find that rule idiotic if the preschool has it's own parking lot and would have advocated for a more reasonable set up like maybe doing pick up outside where parents can stay within site of their cars or parents signing up as volunteer "parking lot monitors" to make it easier for parents to do drop off and pick up without having to bring in one or more other kids (who might be napping or tantrumming).

You think you're superior because you blindly followed a bad rule with bad outcomes. Who did it benefit for you to drag a screaming toddler across a parking lot to pick up your other kid. It didn't benefit you or your kid or the other kids or the other parents. It didn't even benefit the preschool! It was just a dumb rule.

And now you want to yell at other parents doing the perfectly reasonable thing you were prevented from doing because hey if you had to deal with stupid anti-family rules then so should everyone else. You just don't like the idea of other parents having it easier than you did. But I actually do like the idea of making the world more family friendly than it was when my kids were small! I want parents to have it easier and I want us to have sane and reasonable rules that make sense for families. Not least because if my own daughter has kids I don't want it to be as hard for her as it was for me for no good reason.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You can totally leave it running for the AC, leave the key fob with the kid and have them lock the door. Then when you get back, they unlock it for you. 7 is plenty old to do this.

I worry about a car jacker showing up with a gun and demanding that the car be unlocked.

You are worrying about a fantasy that will never happen.

Yeah. You tell ‘em.

Or…

https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/two-juveniles-sought-in-car-theft-with-child-inside-in-northwest-dc-police/3172083/

https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/4-month-old-girl-found-after-being-taken-in-georgetown-car-theft/3508529/

Those cars were not parked in parking lots with security guards-- they were parked on the street.

The kids in those cases were much younger. In the case of the infant, the carjacker likely did not even realize the baby was in the car for some time.

It's also not clear how long those cars were left idling. In the infant case the mom left the car to go into a perfume store (wtf). Are these cases of people running short errands nearby or are they cases of people using leaving kids in idling cars for 30 or 60 minutes?

The PP is envisioning a situation where a carjacker approaches a locked car with a 7 year old visible in the back seat, and in full view of the security guard and what I'm sure are security cameras outside the pharmacy, points a gun at the child and demands they unlock the car. In the 3-5 minutes the mom was inside the pharmacy.

This will not happen.

So the security guard was babysitting the child? Is that his job?

I actually do think it's his job. It was a few minutes and the mom was right inside. The child is 7, not 2.

The other day I was at the grocery store with my 8 yr old and it started pouring rain while we were in the store. DD was in flipflops (post swim class) and I decided to run and get the car and pick her up at the curb. I left her in the vestibule next to the door. I did consider this a reasonably safe option in part because there was a security guard posted near the door and the area is monitored by cameras.

Am I a derelict parent for leaving an elementary kid alone in public for a few minutes?

It is your primary responsibility as a parent to keep your child safe. You make the guard’s job harder by handing over that job to the guard because you can’t turn off the car while you run into the store. So self-centered.

Again -- in a functional society no one considers a security guard keeping an eye on an older kid in a car for 10 minutes to be "baby-sitting." It's just being a person in society. But the US is not functional around families and children so we have this deranged idea that from birth until like 12 or 13 a parent must have eyes on their child at all times OR be paying a professional child minder to watch their kid. It is nonsensical and is actually BAD for kids in the long run.

The point is that a 7 year old is actually perfectly capable of handling themselves in a car for a few minutes. The security guard is not a baby-sitter (it's not a baby!) but is a layer of social protection against some of the rare and unlikely circumstances people are fretting about -- a carjacking or car accident. Those things are almost definitely not going to happen and the presence of a security guard makes them less likely.

This is how watching kids works in normal societies where kids are viewed as normal and necessary. People in other countries do not freak out when they see an unattended 7 year old in a public space where there are responsible adults present because why would they -- that kid is safe. It is only in the US where we have all been convinced that this is a dangerous situation thanks to the efforts of scare mongers who are mostly trying to rally hatred of working mothers and poor people (if it's illegal to leave any child alone for any length of time for any reason then I guess women have to stay home with kids for 18 years and poor people should not have kids at all right).

It’s not his job. If he’s busy watching the kid then he’s not doing his actual job. What a selfish viewpoint. It’s your job to keep an eye on your own kids and you’re neglecting it. Why aren’t you doing the job youself?

It’s not a job! It’s a child living their life in a public space. It’s perfectly safe.

But I won’t do it. Because of people like you. And it adds to the stress of parenting.

The birth rate will continue to decline. The high costs combined with the intense expectations are just unbearable.

I did my part. I had 3 kids. And I made them come with me to run errands and into the store and carried my tantrum prone daughter like a football to drop her older brother off in preschool because we weren’t allowed to leave them in the car. My daughter wanted to stay and play too, so dragging her in for drop off was a nightmare but i had no choice. Everyone gets through it. Luckily my kids are legit old enough to stay at home. I don’t leave them in the car because they will for sure fight. Mostly I just plan my errands for when the kids aren’t with me. Your 7 yr olds aren’t old enough yet but will be soon.

Every time you take a little kid through a busy parking lot you are putting them at greater risk of bodily harm than just leaving them in the car for a few minutes.

Idiots.

Point is, I don’t make the rules. I follow them and don’t ask for exceptions. I personally know a mom who had CPS visit her after leaving her kid in a car to pick up a pizza. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

OP *did* follow the rules for her jurisdiction. And yet she got chastised by a judgy busybody security guard, which is honestly a much bigger risk than a carjacking.

So? Then she should have followed up with him and set him straight. Many of us don’t live in an area with the same rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can totally leave it running for the AC, leave the key fob with the kid and have them lock the door. Then when you get back, they unlock it for you. 7 is plenty old to do this.

I worry about a car jacker showing up with a gun and demanding that the car be unlocked.

You are worrying about a fantasy that will never happen.

Yeah. You tell ‘em.

Or…

https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/two-juveniles-sought-in-car-theft-with-child-inside-in-northwest-dc-police/3172083/

https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/4-month-old-girl-found-after-being-taken-in-georgetown-car-theft/3508529/

Those cars were not parked in parking lots with security guards-- they were parked on the street.

The kids in those cases were much younger. In the case of the infant, the carjacker likely did not even realize the baby was in the car for some time.

It's also not clear how long those cars were left idling. In the infant case the mom left the car to go into a perfume store (wtf). Are these cases of people running short errands nearby or are they cases of people using leaving kids in idling cars for 30 or 60 minutes?

The PP is envisioning a situation where a carjacker approaches a locked car with a 7 year old visible in the back seat, and in full view of the security guard and what I'm sure are security cameras outside the pharmacy, points a gun at the child and demands they unlock the car. In the 3-5 minutes the mom was inside the pharmacy.

This will not happen.

So the security guard was babysitting the child? Is that his job?

I actually do think it's his job. It was a few minutes and the mom was right inside. The child is 7, not 2.

The other day I was at the grocery store with my 8 yr old and it started pouring rain while we were in the store. DD was in flipflops (post swim class) and I decided to run and get the car and pick her up at the curb. I left her in the vestibule next to the door. I did consider this a reasonably safe option in part because there was a security guard posted near the door and the area is monitored by cameras.

Am I a derelict parent for leaving an elementary kid alone in public for a few minutes?

It is your primary responsibility as a parent to keep your child safe. You make the guard’s job harder by handing over that job to the guard because you can’t turn off the car while you run into the store. So self-centered.

Again -- in a functional society no one considers a security guard keeping an eye on an older kid in a car for 10 minutes to be "baby-sitting." It's just being a person in society. But the US is not functional around families and children so we have this deranged idea that from birth until like 12 or 13 a parent must have eyes on their child at all times OR be paying a professional child minder to watch their kid. It is nonsensical and is actually BAD for kids in the long run.

The point is that a 7 year old is actually perfectly capable of handling themselves in a car for a few minutes. The security guard is not a baby-sitter (it's not a baby!) but is a layer of social protection against some of the rare and unlikely circumstances people are fretting about -- a carjacking or car accident. Those things are almost definitely not going to happen and the presence of a security guard makes them less likely.

This is how watching kids works in normal societies where kids are viewed as normal and necessary. People in other countries do not freak out when they see an unattended 7 year old in a public space where there are responsible adults present because why would they -- that kid is safe. It is only in the US where we have all been convinced that this is a dangerous situation thanks to the efforts of scare mongers who are mostly trying to rally hatred of working mothers and poor people (if it's illegal to leave any child alone for any length of time for any reason then I guess women have to stay home with kids for 18 years and poor people should not have kids at all right).

It’s not his job. If he’s busy watching the kid then he’s not doing his actual job. What a selfish viewpoint. It’s your job to keep an eye on your own kids and you’re neglecting it. Why aren’t you doing the job youself?

It’s not a job! It’s a child living their life in a public space. It’s perfectly safe.

But I won’t do it. Because of people like you. And it adds to the stress of parenting.

The birth rate will continue to decline. The high costs combined with the intense expectations are just unbearable.

I did my part. I had 3 kids. And I made them come with me to run errands and into the store and carried my tantrum prone daughter like a football to drop her older brother off in preschool because we weren’t allowed to leave them in the car. My daughter wanted to stay and play too, so dragging her in for drop off was a nightmare but i had no choice. Everyone gets through it. Luckily my kids are legit old enough to stay at home. I don’t leave them in the car because they will for sure fight. Mostly I just plan my errands for when the kids aren’t with me. Your 7 yr olds aren’t old enough yet but will be soon.

Your tantruming kid could have slipped from your arms and ran in front of a car. Or fallen and hit her head.

Like you do realize there’s a small risk of something bad happening in either scenario. You’re not morally superior for dragging a screaming kid out of the car. Also I too have 3 kids (ages 10, 7, and 3) and none of my kids scream at having to run an errand. Soooo I can one up you there if you want to play that game.

Well, my tantrumming kid also has special needs, but yay you for not having that extra burden! She has a developmental disability, are we still playing the game?

Oooh I knew you were going to say that and I almost my mentioned in my prior post I have a kid with SNs (AuDHD). I know how to avoid taking him places when he may get dysregulated.

Cool, cool. Guess you don’t have to deal with leaving a kid in a car bc you never have to take your kids everywhere. So not sure what your issue is here? You have no experience. Also of course you knew i was gojng to say that because kids acting inappropriately usually have a reason why theh act that way. But you knew that, supposedly.

I was mimicking how asinine your “I had 3 kids so I did my part and I did it better than you” spiel was. You’re not a better parent just because you took your tantruming kid into a store. You assessed the risks and made a choice that was right for you. But there were still small risks of taking them into the store. Just like there are small risks of leaving a kid in the car. One isn’t necessarily morally superior than the other.

Ok. I didn’t “assess the risks” i had a toddler and it was against the rules to leave kids in the car. I didn’t decide the rule didn’t apply to me because I’m an uppity princess. You acting like people don’t have more kids because of leaving kids in cars rules is what is asinine.

Omg of course you took your toddler into the store. OP is talking about a 7 year old. And I was not the poster who said people don’t have more kids b/c they can’t leave them in the car although I do agree with the sentiment that we have made life unnecessarily difficult for families such as hall monitors trying to act like something is illegal even when it is clearly not illegal under VA law. We expect parents to helicopter and supervise their kids 24/7 in a way that is unhealthy and not aligned with many other cultures across the globe. The security guard lecturing OP is just a symptom of a bigger trend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can totally leave it running for the AC, leave the key fob with the kid and have them lock the door. Then when you get back, they unlock it for you. 7 is plenty old to do this.

I worry about a car jacker showing up with a gun and demanding that the car be unlocked.

You are worrying about a fantasy that will never happen.

Yeah. You tell ‘em.

Or…

https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/two-juveniles-sought-in-car-theft-with-child-inside-in-northwest-dc-police/3172083/

https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/4-month-old-girl-found-after-being-taken-in-georgetown-car-theft/3508529/

Those cars were not parked in parking lots with security guards-- they were parked on the street.

The kids in those cases were much younger. In the case of the infant, the carjacker likely did not even realize the baby was in the car for some time.

It's also not clear how long those cars were left idling. In the infant case the mom left the car to go into a perfume store (wtf). Are these cases of people running short errands nearby or are they cases of people using leaving kids in idling cars for 30 or 60 minutes?

The PP is envisioning a situation where a carjacker approaches a locked car with a 7 year old visible in the back seat, and in full view of the security guard and what I'm sure are security cameras outside the pharmacy, points a gun at the child and demands they unlock the car. In the 3-5 minutes the mom was inside the pharmacy.

This will not happen.

So the security guard was babysitting the child? Is that his job?

I actually do think it's his job. It was a few minutes and the mom was right inside. The child is 7, not 2.

The other day I was at the grocery store with my 8 yr old and it started pouring rain while we were in the store. DD was in flipflops (post swim class) and I decided to run and get the car and pick her up at the curb. I left her in the vestibule next to the door. I did consider this a reasonably safe option in part because there was a security guard posted near the door and the area is monitored by cameras.

Am I a derelict parent for leaving an elementary kid alone in public for a few minutes?

It is your primary responsibility as a parent to keep your child safe. You make the guard’s job harder by handing over that job to the guard because you can’t turn off the car while you run into the store. So self-centered.

Again -- in a functional society no one considers a security guard keeping an eye on an older kid in a car for 10 minutes to be "baby-sitting." It's just being a person in society. But the US is not functional around families and children so we have this deranged idea that from birth until like 12 or 13 a parent must have eyes on their child at all times OR be paying a professional child minder to watch their kid. It is nonsensical and is actually BAD for kids in the long run.

The point is that a 7 year old is actually perfectly capable of handling themselves in a car for a few minutes. The security guard is not a baby-sitter (it's not a baby!) but is a layer of social protection against some of the rare and unlikely circumstances people are fretting about -- a carjacking or car accident. Those things are almost definitely not going to happen and the presence of a security guard makes them less likely.

This is how watching kids works in normal societies where kids are viewed as normal and necessary. People in other countries do not freak out when they see an unattended 7 year old in a public space where there are responsible adults present because why would they -- that kid is safe. It is only in the US where we have all been convinced that this is a dangerous situation thanks to the efforts of scare mongers who are mostly trying to rally hatred of working mothers and poor people (if it's illegal to leave any child alone for any length of time for any reason then I guess women have to stay home with kids for 18 years and poor people should not have kids at all right).

It’s not his job. If he’s busy watching the kid then he’s not doing his actual job. What a selfish viewpoint. It’s your job to keep an eye on your own kids and you’re neglecting it. Why aren’t you doing the job youself?

It’s not a job! It’s a child living their life in a public space. It’s perfectly safe.

But I won’t do it. Because of people like you. And it adds to the stress of parenting.

The birth rate will continue to decline. The high costs combined with the intense expectations are just unbearable.

I did my part. I had 3 kids. And I made them come with me to run errands and into the store and carried my tantrum prone daughter like a football to drop her older brother off in preschool because we weren’t allowed to leave them in the car. My daughter wanted to stay and play too, so dragging her in for drop off was a nightmare but i had no choice. Everyone gets through it. Luckily my kids are legit old enough to stay at home. I don’t leave them in the car because they will for sure fight. Mostly I just plan my errands for when the kids aren’t with me. Your 7 yr olds aren’t old enough yet but will be soon.

Your tantruming kid could have slipped from your arms and ran in front of a car. Or fallen and hit her head.

Like you do realize there’s a small risk of something bad happening in either scenario. You’re not morally superior for dragging a screaming kid out of the car. Also I too have 3 kids (ages 10, 7, and 3) and none of my kids scream at having to run an errand. Soooo I can one up you there if you want to play that game.

Well, my tantrumming kid also has special needs, but yay you for not having that extra burden! She has a developmental disability, are we still playing the game?

Oooh I knew you were going to say that and I almost my mentioned in my prior post I have a kid with SNs (AuDHD). I know how to avoid taking him places when he may get dysregulated.

Cool, cool. Guess you don’t have to deal with leaving a kid in a car bc you never have to take your kids everywhere. So not sure what your issue is here? You have no experience. Also of course you knew i was gojng to say that because kids acting inappropriately usually have a reason why theh act that way. But you knew that, supposedly.

I was mimicking how asinine your “I had 3 kids so I did my part and I did it better than you” spiel was. You’re not a better parent just because you took your tantruming kid into a store. You assessed the risks and made a choice that was right for you. But there were still small risks of taking them into the store. Just like there are small risks of leaving a kid in the car. One isn’t necessarily morally superior than the other.

Ok. I didn’t “assess the risks” i had a toddler and it was against the rules to leave kids in the car. I didn’t decide the rule didn’t apply to me because I’m an uppity princess. You acting like people don’t have more kids because of leaving kids in cars rules is what is asinine.

DP. The example you gave was of a preschool that had a rule that you not leave kids in cars when you pick up your kids. I find that rule idiotic if the preschool has it's own parking lot and would have advocated for a more reasonable set up like maybe doing pick up outside where parents can stay within site of their cars or parents signing up as volunteer "parking lot monitors" to make it easier for parents to do drop off and pick up without having to bring in one or more other kids (who might be napping or tantrumming).

You think you're superior because you blindly followed a bad rule with bad outcomes. Who did it benefit for you to drag a screaming toddler across a parking lot to pick up your other kid. It didn't benefit you or your kid or the other kids or the other parents. It didn't even benefit the preschool! It was just a dumb rule.

And now you want to yell at other parents doing the perfectly reasonable thing you were prevented from doing because hey if you had to deal with stupid anti-family rules then so should everyone else. You just don't like the idea of other parents having it easier than you did. But I actually do like the idea of making the world more family friendly than it was when my kids were small! I want parents to have it easier and I want us to have sane and reasonable rules that make sense for families. Not least because if my own daughter has kids I don't want it to be as hard for her as it was for me for no good reason.

I think I’m superior? OK. Maybe I can just pick the hill to die on. It wasn’t worth it to me to fight the school on this particular rule. I couldn’t see the car for the duration of the drop off and pick up. My DD might have been screaming in the car distressing people who would walk by. Weighing all the pros and cons I came down on the side of I’ll just take her in. We walk fast and get in and get out. As an adult I’m well equipped to manage an 18 month old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can totally leave it running for the AC, leave the key fob with the kid and have them lock the door. Then when you get back, they unlock it for you. 7 is plenty old to do this.

I worry about a car jacker showing up with a gun and demanding that the car be unlocked.

You are worrying about a fantasy that will never happen.

Yeah. You tell ‘em.

Or…

https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/two-juveniles-sought-in-car-theft-with-child-inside-in-northwest-dc-police/3172083/

https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/4-month-old-girl-found-after-being-taken-in-georgetown-car-theft/3508529/

Those cars were not parked in parking lots with security guards-- they were parked on the street.

The kids in those cases were much younger. In the case of the infant, the carjacker likely did not even realize the baby was in the car for some time.

It's also not clear how long those cars were left idling. In the infant case the mom left the car to go into a perfume store (wtf). Are these cases of people running short errands nearby or are they cases of people using leaving kids in idling cars for 30 or 60 minutes?

The PP is envisioning a situation where a carjacker approaches a locked car with a 7 year old visible in the back seat, and in full view of the security guard and what I'm sure are security cameras outside the pharmacy, points a gun at the child and demands they unlock the car. In the 3-5 minutes the mom was inside the pharmacy.

This will not happen.

So the security guard was babysitting the child? Is that his job?

I actually do think it's his job. It was a few minutes and the mom was right inside. The child is 7, not 2.

The other day I was at the grocery store with my 8 yr old and it started pouring rain while we were in the store. DD was in flipflops (post swim class) and I decided to run and get the car and pick her up at the curb. I left her in the vestibule next to the door. I did consider this a reasonably safe option in part because there was a security guard posted near the door and the area is monitored by cameras.

Am I a derelict parent for leaving an elementary kid alone in public for a few minutes?

It is your primary responsibility as a parent to keep your child safe. You make the guard’s job harder by handing over that job to the guard because you can’t turn off the car while you run into the store. So self-centered.

Again -- in a functional society no one considers a security guard keeping an eye on an older kid in a car for 10 minutes to be "baby-sitting." It's just being a person in society. But the US is not functional around families and children so we have this deranged idea that from birth until like 12 or 13 a parent must have eyes on their child at all times OR be paying a professional child minder to watch their kid. It is nonsensical and is actually BAD for kids in the long run.

The point is that a 7 year old is actually perfectly capable of handling themselves in a car for a few minutes. The security guard is not a baby-sitter (it's not a baby!) but is a layer of social protection against some of the rare and unlikely circumstances people are fretting about -- a carjacking or car accident. Those things are almost definitely not going to happen and the presence of a security guard makes them less likely.

This is how watching kids works in normal societies where kids are viewed as normal and necessary. People in other countries do not freak out when they see an unattended 7 year old in a public space where there are responsible adults present because why would they -- that kid is safe. It is only in the US where we have all been convinced that this is a dangerous situation thanks to the efforts of scare mongers who are mostly trying to rally hatred of working mothers and poor people (if it's illegal to leave any child alone for any length of time for any reason then I guess women have to stay home with kids for 18 years and poor people should not have kids at all right).

It’s not his job. If he’s busy watching the kid then he’s not doing his actual job. What a selfish viewpoint. It’s your job to keep an eye on your own kids and you’re neglecting it. Why aren’t you doing the job youself?

It’s not a job! It’s a child living their life in a public space. It’s perfectly safe.

But I won’t do it. Because of people like you. And it adds to the stress of parenting.

The birth rate will continue to decline. The high costs combined with the intense expectations are just unbearable.

I did my part. I had 3 kids. And I made them come with me to run errands and into the store and carried my tantrum prone daughter like a football to drop her older brother off in preschool because we weren’t allowed to leave them in the car. My daughter wanted to stay and play too, so dragging her in for drop off was a nightmare but i had no choice. Everyone gets through it. Luckily my kids are legit old enough to stay at home. I don’t leave them in the car because they will for sure fight. Mostly I just plan my errands for when the kids aren’t with me. Your 7 yr olds aren’t old enough yet but will be soon.

Every time you take a little kid through a busy parking lot you are putting them at greater risk of bodily harm than just leaving them in the car for a few minutes.

Idiots.

Point is, I don’t make the rules. I follow them and don’t ask for exceptions. I personally know a mom who had CPS visit her after leaving her kid in a car to pick up a pizza. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

OP *did* follow the rules for her jurisdiction. And yet she got chastised by a judgy busybody security guard, which is honestly a much bigger risk than a carjacking.

So? Then she should have followed up with him and set him straight. Many of us don’t live in an area with the same rules.

Only 8 states consider it illegal to leave a 7 year old in a car under the circumstances OP describes. People are talking on this thread like it's illegal everywhere but actually it's legal almost everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can totally leave it running for the AC, leave the key fob with the kid and have them lock the door. Then when you get back, they unlock it for you. 7 is plenty old to do this.

I worry about a car jacker showing up with a gun and demanding that the car be unlocked.

You are worrying about a fantasy that will never happen.

Yeah. You tell ‘em.

Or…

https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/two-juveniles-sought-in-car-theft-with-child-inside-in-northwest-dc-police/3172083/

https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/4-month-old-girl-found-after-being-taken-in-georgetown-car-theft/3508529/

Those cars were not parked in parking lots with security guards-- they were parked on the street.

The kids in those cases were much younger. In the case of the infant, the carjacker likely did not even realize the baby was in the car for some time.

It's also not clear how long those cars were left idling. In the infant case the mom left the car to go into a perfume store (wtf). Are these cases of people running short errands nearby or are they cases of people using leaving kids in idling cars for 30 or 60 minutes?

The PP is envisioning a situation where a carjacker approaches a locked car with a 7 year old visible in the back seat, and in full view of the security guard and what I'm sure are security cameras outside the pharmacy, points a gun at the child and demands they unlock the car. In the 3-5 minutes the mom was inside the pharmacy.

This will not happen.

So the security guard was babysitting the child? Is that his job?

I actually do think it's his job. It was a few minutes and the mom was right inside. The child is 7, not 2.

The other day I was at the grocery store with my 8 yr old and it started pouring rain while we were in the store. DD was in flipflops (post swim class) and I decided to run and get the car and pick her up at the curb. I left her in the vestibule next to the door. I did consider this a reasonably safe option in part because there was a security guard posted near the door and the area is monitored by cameras.

Am I a derelict parent for leaving an elementary kid alone in public for a few minutes?

It is your primary responsibility as a parent to keep your child safe. You make the guard’s job harder by handing over that job to the guard because you can’t turn off the car while you run into the store. So self-centered.

Again -- in a functional society no one considers a security guard keeping an eye on an older kid in a car for 10 minutes to be "baby-sitting." It's just being a person in society. But the US is not functional around families and children so we have this deranged idea that from birth until like 12 or 13 a parent must have eyes on their child at all times OR be paying a professional child minder to watch their kid. It is nonsensical and is actually BAD for kids in the long run.

The point is that a 7 year old is actually perfectly capable of handling themselves in a car for a few minutes. The security guard is not a baby-sitter (it's not a baby!) but is a layer of social protection against some of the rare and unlikely circumstances people are fretting about -- a carjacking or car accident. Those things are almost definitely not going to happen and the presence of a security guard makes them less likely.

This is how watching kids works in normal societies where kids are viewed as normal and necessary. People in other countries do not freak out when they see an unattended 7 year old in a public space where there are responsible adults present because why would they -- that kid is safe. It is only in the US where we have all been convinced that this is a dangerous situation thanks to the efforts of scare mongers who are mostly trying to rally hatred of working mothers and poor people (if it's illegal to leave any child alone for any length of time for any reason then I guess women have to stay home with kids for 18 years and poor people should not have kids at all right).

It’s not his job. If he’s busy watching the kid then he’s not doing his actual job. What a selfish viewpoint. It’s your job to keep an eye on your own kids and you’re neglecting it. Why aren’t you doing the job youself?

It’s not a job! It’s a child living their life in a public space. It’s perfectly safe.

But I won’t do it. Because of people like you. And it adds to the stress of parenting.

The birth rate will continue to decline. The high costs combined with the intense expectations are just unbearable.

I did my part. I had 3 kids. And I made them come with me to run errands and into the store and carried my tantrum prone daughter like a football to drop her older brother off in preschool because we weren’t allowed to leave them in the car. My daughter wanted to stay and play too, so dragging her in for drop off was a nightmare but i had no choice. Everyone gets through it. Luckily my kids are legit old enough to stay at home. I don’t leave them in the car because they will for sure fight. Mostly I just plan my errands for when the kids aren’t with me. Your 7 yr olds aren’t old enough yet but will be soon.

Bootstraps and walking to school 3 miles uphill both ways in the snow.
Why do you want it to suck for your kids too just because you had to do it? It makes the kids more anxious to have to overparent like this. They learn they can’t be trusted.

Having also always taken my kids with me as a parent I understand the story to be an acknowledgement that taking kids into a place for a quick errand it challenging but one does it because it is the law.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - last time. I won’t be leaving my kid in the car again. This was a safe neighborhood, not some crime ridden CVS in the hoods?!? of Nothern Virginia. There is a reason the security guard was there that doesn’t really have anything to do with crime. I’m not going to say why because I feel like that would give away more information than I am comfortable with.

People saying that I don’t parent are ridiculous, or that I am lazy. No, I think my son is responsible enough to be left in the car. He is risk averse and not the type of kid to try and drive the car; we’ve spoken about that. There was obviously a security guard there. Last night I had to have another conversation with him where I told him he did nothing wrong and I was wrong (I still don’t think what I did was wrong but obviously we live in a society so). The security guard scared him, because he questioned him and because he was correcting me. I mean, I just wonder about raising a kid in a society where he can’t be left alone for a second and we have to constantly be afraid of carjackers and kidnappers in the hood that is Northern Virginia. When I was his age, I could go outside and play with my friends with no adult supervision. Our society is so anti-family and so wrapped up in fear. Anyway whatever. I’ve been chastised. I’ll wait until he is 13? before I leave him alone again. The mom shamers have been vindicated.

Honestly, op you are acting like the victim and we are 'shaming' you but we are not. You asked a question and it was answered. Next time, don't ask if you don't want a truthful response. Personally I would work on my 7 year old and get him to obey you more. If he had gone into the store than none of this would have happended.

Maybe you can get him to go into the store next time..but,telling him the security guard will get mommy in trouble if he doesn't!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You can totally leave it running for the AC, leave the key fob with the kid and have them lock the door. Then when you get back, they unlock it for you. 7 is plenty old to do this.

I worry about a car jacker showing up with a gun and demanding that the car be unlocked.

You are worrying about a fantasy that will never happen.

Yeah. You tell ‘em.

Or…

https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/two-juveniles-sought-in-car-theft-with-child-inside-in-northwest-dc-police/3172083/

https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/4-month-old-girl-found-after-being-taken-in-georgetown-car-theft/3508529/

Those cars were not parked in parking lots with security guards-- they were parked on the street.

The kids in those cases were much younger. In the case of the infant, the carjacker likely did not even realize the baby was in the car for some time.

It's also not clear how long those cars were left idling. In the infant case the mom left the car to go into a perfume store (wtf). Are these cases of people running short errands nearby or are they cases of people using leaving kids in idling cars for 30 or 60 minutes?

The PP is envisioning a situation where a carjacker approaches a locked car with a 7 year old visible in the back seat, and in full view of the security guard and what I'm sure are security cameras outside the pharmacy, points a gun at the child and demands they unlock the car. In the 3-5 minutes the mom was inside the pharmacy.

This will not happen.

So the security guard was babysitting the child? Is that his job?

I actually do think it's his job. It was a few minutes and the mom was right inside. The child is 7, not 2.

The other day I was at the grocery store with my 8 yr old and it started pouring rain while we were in the store. DD was in flipflops (post swim class) and I decided to run and get the car and pick her up at the curb. I left her in the vestibule next to the door. I did consider this a reasonably safe option in part because there was a security guard posted near the door and the area is monitored by cameras.

Am I a derelict parent for leaving an elementary kid alone in public for a few minutes?

It is your primary responsibility as a parent to keep your child safe. You make the guard’s job harder by handing over that job to the guard because you can’t turn off the car while you run into the store. So self-centered.

Again -- in a functional society no one considers a security guard keeping an eye on an older kid in a car for 10 minutes to be "baby-sitting." It's just being a person in society. But the US is not functional around families and children so we have this deranged idea that from birth until like 12 or 13 a parent must have eyes on their child at all times OR be paying a professional child minder to watch their kid. It is nonsensical and is actually BAD for kids in the long run.

The point is that a 7 year old is actually perfectly capable of handling themselves in a car for a few minutes. The security guard is not a baby-sitter (it's not a baby!) but is a layer of social protection against some of the rare and unlikely circumstances people are fretting about -- a carjacking or car accident. Those things are almost definitely not going to happen and the presence of a security guard makes them less likely.

This is how watching kids works in normal societies where kids are viewed as normal and necessary. People in other countries do not freak out when they see an unattended 7 year old in a public space where there are responsible adults present because why would they -- that kid is safe. It is only in the US where we have all been convinced that this is a dangerous situation thanks to the efforts of scare mongers who are mostly trying to rally hatred of working mothers and poor people (if it's illegal to leave any child alone for any length of time for any reason then I guess women have to stay home with kids for 18 years and poor people should not have kids at all right).

It’s not his job. If he’s busy watching the kid then he’s not doing his actual job. What a selfish viewpoint. It’s your job to keep an eye on your own kids and you’re neglecting it. Why aren’t you doing the job youself?

It’s not a job! It’s a child living their life in a public space. It’s perfectly safe.

But I won’t do it. Because of people like you. And it adds to the stress of parenting.

The birth rate will continue to decline. The high costs combined with the intense expectations are just unbearable.

I did my part. I had 3 kids. And I made them come with me to run errands and into the store and carried my tantrum prone daughter like a football to drop her older brother off in preschool because we weren’t allowed to leave them in the car. My daughter wanted to stay and play too, so dragging her in for drop off was a nightmare but i had no choice. Everyone gets through it. Luckily my kids are legit old enough to stay at home. I don’t leave them in the car because they will for sure fight. Mostly I just plan my errands for when the kids aren’t with me. Your 7 yr olds aren’t old enough yet but will be soon.

Every time you take a little kid through a busy parking lot you are putting them at greater risk of bodily harm than just leaving them in the car for a few minutes.

Idiots.

Point is, I don’t make the rules. I follow them and don’t ask for exceptions. I personally know a mom who had CPS visit her after leaving her kid in a car to pick up a pizza. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

OP *did* follow the rules for her jurisdiction. And yet she got chastised by a judgy busybody security guard, which is honestly a much bigger risk than a carjacking.

So? Then she should have followed up with him and set him straight. Many of us don’t live in an area with the same rules.

Only 8 states consider it illegal to leave a 7 year old in a car under the circumstances OP describes. People are talking on this thread like it's illegal everywhere but actually it's legal almost everywhere.

Even with the car running?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All you people saying a 7 year old would never be carjacked probably also thought at one point 7 year olds would never be murdered at their desk at school. The point is you never know. Obviously we can’t protect our kids from every possibility. But “get out we’re going in” isn’t so hard to do. Look at all the moms crying on TV when their kid is dead and tell me you can’t deal with a five minute tantrum.

This!