What is the worst issue confronting middle aged women in 2024

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:50 something here, still raising a high schooler, and my trigger is abortion bans and how they might impact my child. She's not sexually active but all it takes is one mistake..... or SA.

I agree with this We came so far with reproductive rights just to now have it reversed. How come young women aren't protesting in the streets? And young men too!

Because most feel like they can go to a neighboring state, get an abortion, and come back home.

Which they can.

Travel is getting cheaper every day. There are now $129 flights to Europe.

LOL. Guess you haven’t traveled recently.

You clearly DGAF about people who can’t travel to other states/countries for health care for various reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve had to yell at 3 doctors in the last two years for talking down to me.

One really did hear me, one was appalled I’d speak to him that way, refused to talk to me once the tests came back and I was right.

You sound unhinged.

Hi Dr. Ahole.

I’m not surprised by your comment. Women who stand up for themselves or anyone actually are gaslight and told they are crazy.

Your just acting out what you were socialized to do, like robot.

One situation.

In hospital with my mom. In walks Dr…

Dr: I think your mom has a UTI, this is Dr. newbie, I am training her
ME: it’s a stroke
Dr; it’s not a stroke
Me: yes it’s a stroke, it’s not a UTI
Dr: well if it was a stroke she’d has problems with one side
Me: no not necessarily, it’s a stroke.
Dr: turns to newbie. This is classic UTI, we will get samples and treat with antibiotics
Me; to newbie… this is classic dr not listening to patients advocate … my mom has a history of TIA’s she has had a massive stroke … so the lesson here is don’t be so quick to ignore you patients advocate and ask for some medical history.

2 hours late
Dr newbie: you were right no UTI, it’s probably a stroke and perhaps a seizure we will send you to get MRI and other tests.
Me: where is the other dr.

Dr newbie: yea he’s not coming back. She chuckles

Me: I guess you learned something tonight
Newbie: yes I did
Nurse: I knew it was a stroke too,

We laughed … of course she did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I think it’s the rise of misogyny as an overt political platform of both parties. Both parties are openly throwing themselves into misogyny as a winning electoral issue. It’s frankly terrifying.

What is the Dem misogyny?

The progressive wing of the party has leaned in hard on taking the side of using rape and sexual assault as a weapon of political terror. The refusal to unequivocally condemn the documented sexual violence from Hamas and the silence of progressive women’s organizations (which are all Democrat supporters) on the issue has been extremely demoralizing. I started 10/7 as someone who would have probably said that I am largely aligned with the Democratic progressives on issues related to Israel, but the horrific minimization from that wing of the party of the sexual torture endured by Israeli women and children has been profoundly shocking to me, and just part and parcel of the overall trend of using misogyny as a political platform.

The Democrats have also been leading the charge in eliminating sex-based protections and spaces for women and they seem to be openly pretending that women haven’t been terrorized for millennia because of their biology. This comes up in various contexts, including the self-ID laws that they’ve pushed, and the extreme misogynist reaction to women who point out safety issues for women’s prisons, women’s sports, and other hard-fought spaces of sanctuary for women. A lot of current gender ideology is rooted in extreme misogyny, and the Democrats have leaned in heavily on that.

My political allegiance for years has been to the party that supports women, because I believe that leads to better societies. But I have no home now. Obviously the Republicans are out. But now the Democrats are too. The Democrats seem to have seen how successful misogyny as a platform was for the Republicans and just adopted that approach.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never had trouble being taken seriously by medical professionals. I know it’s a problem for a lot of women. I’m not sure why I’ve been lucky in this regard.

You may be: rich, connected, beautiful/thin, or part of a community that gives you status.

I was surprised when it started happening to me. But the truth is that women start really losing social status once they start visibly aging past childbearing age. I started noticing people's eyes glazing over when I spoke, even for short periods of time, like they couldn't be bothered to listen or like they assumed I was being dramatic or attention seeking.

I'm in good shape and reasonably attractive but not beautiful, and look my age. I think it's even harder for women who gain weight (everything gets blamed on their weight, they are treated as inherently at fault for all medical issues) but I've seen a real shift in the last 5 years as I've entered my mid-to-late 40s.

This has also happened in other areas of life. I can feel people becoming less interested in me as a person. Not friends or family but neighbors, colleagues, service providers. It's so eye opening because it also changes how I think about how I was treated before. I thought that was just normal, like that was how everyone got treated -- reasonably polite, decent service, respectful. But now I realize I might have been getting deferent treatment because I was perceived as being higher status (thin, attractive, UMC young white woman) and maybe now I'm getting what is actually "average" treatment. I hope it's made me more self-aware -- I work hard not to treat other people as I now get treated because it's demeaning.

+1000

I had no idea what kind of attention/privilege/power I was carrying around with my beauty until I aged and gained weight -- how I am treated by virtually everyone I don't know well drastically changed.

You mean your white privilege?

Exactly. White privilege. Not a privilege to most women on the planet.

I suspect a beautiful brown woman gets a lot of special treatment. Unless maybe she is in the Deep South.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never had trouble being taken seriously by medical professionals. I know it’s a problem for a lot of women. I’m not sure why I’ve been lucky in this regard.

You may be: rich, connected, beautiful/thin, or part of a community that gives you status.

I was surprised when it started happening to me. But the truth is that women start really losing social status once they start visibly aging past childbearing age. I started noticing people's eyes glazing over when I spoke, even for short periods of time, like they couldn't be bothered to listen or like they assumed I was being dramatic or attention seeking.

I'm in good shape and reasonably attractive but not beautiful, and look my age. I think it's even harder for women who gain weight (everything gets blamed on their weight, they are treated as inherently at fault for all medical issues) but I've seen a real shift in the last 5 years as I've entered my mid-to-late 40s.

This has also happened in other areas of life. I can feel people becoming less interested in me as a person. Not friends or family but neighbors, colleagues, service providers. It's so eye opening because it also changes how I think about how I was treated before. I thought that was just normal, like that was how everyone got treated -- reasonably polite, decent service, respectful. But now I realize I might have been getting deferent treatment because I was perceived as being higher status (thin, attractive, UMC young white woman) and maybe now I'm getting what is actually "average" treatment. I hope it's made me more self-aware -- I work hard not to treat other people as I now get treated because it's demeaning.

+1000

I had no idea what kind of attention/privilege/power I was carrying around with my beauty until I aged and gained weight -- how I am treated by virtually everyone I don't know well drastically changed.

You mean your white privilege?

Exactly. White privilege. Not a privilege to most women on the planet.

I suspect a beautiful brown woman gets a lot of special treatment. Unless maybe she is in the Deep South.

Yep. Just ask my cute Hispanic wife.
Just last week she went out to shovel our driveway (while I was still inside putting my boots on)
And a guy in a snow plow drove by, stopped and said " Don't bother ill get that for you" and proceeded to plow our driveway..
If that was me out there he would have drove by laughing at me. Lol

It is LatinX, not “Latina.”

Do better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I think it’s the rise of misogyny as an overt political platform of both parties. Both parties are openly throwing themselves into misogyny as a winning electoral issue. It’s frankly terrifying.

What is the Dem misogyny?

The progressive wing of the party has leaned in hard on taking the side of using rape and sexual assault as a weapon of political terror. The refusal to unequivocally condemn the documented sexual violence from Hamas and the silence of progressive women’s organizations (which are all Democrat supporters) on the issue has been extremely demoralizing. I started 10/7 as someone who would have probably said that I am largely aligned with the Democratic progressives on issues related to Israel, but the horrific minimization from that wing of the party of the sexual torture endured by Israeli women and children has been profoundly shocking to me, and just part and parcel of the overall trend of using misogyny as a political platform.

The Democrats have also been leading the charge in eliminating sex-based protections and spaces for women and they seem to be openly pretending that women haven’t been terrorized for millennia because of their biology. This comes up in various contexts, including the self-ID laws that they’ve pushed, and the extreme misogynist reaction to women who point out safety issues for women’s prisons, women’s sports, and other hard-fought spaces of sanctuary for women. A lot of current gender ideology is rooted in extreme misogyny, and the Democrats have leaned in heavily on that.

My political allegiance for years has been to the party that supports women, because I believe that leads to better societies. But I have no home now. Obviously the Republicans are out. But now the Democrats are too. The Democrats seem to have seen how successful misogyny as a platform was for the Republicans and just adopted that approach.

This

You need to get off social media.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I think it’s the rise of misogyny as an overt political platform of both parties. Both parties are openly throwing themselves into misogyny as a winning electoral issue. It’s frankly terrifying.

What is the Dem misogyny?

The progressive wing of the party has leaned in hard on taking the side of using rape and sexual assault as a weapon of political terror. The refusal to unequivocally condemn the documented sexual violence from Hamas and the silence of progressive women’s organizations (which are all Democrat supporters) on the issue has been extremely demoralizing. I started 10/7 as someone who would have probably said that I am largely aligned with the Democratic progressives on issues related to Israel, but the horrific minimization from that wing of the party of the sexual torture endured by Israeli women and children has been profoundly shocking to me, and just part and parcel of the overall trend of using misogyny as a political platform.

The Democrats have also been leading the charge in eliminating sex-based protections and spaces for women and they seem to be openly pretending that women haven’t been terrorized for millennia because of their biology. This comes up in various contexts, including the self-ID laws that they’ve pushed, and the extreme misogynist reaction to women who point out safety issues for women’s prisons, women’s sports, and other hard-fought spaces of sanctuary for women. A lot of current gender ideology is rooted in extreme misogyny, and the Democrats have leaned in heavily on that.

My political allegiance for years has been to the party that supports women, because I believe that leads to better societies. But I have no home now. Obviously the Republicans are out. But now the Democrats are too. The Democrats seem to have seen how successful misogyny as a platform was for the Republicans and just adopted that approach.

The progressive’s extremism is paving the way for trump’s re-election in November.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve had to yell at 3 doctors in the last two years for talking down to me.

One really did hear me, one was appalled I’d speak to him that way, refused to talk to me once the tests came back and I was right.

You sound unhinged.

Hi Dr. Ahole.

I’m not surprised by your comment. Women who stand up for themselves or anyone actually are gaslight and told they are crazy.

Your just acting out what you were socialized to do, like robot.

One situation.

In hospital with my mom. In walks Dr…

Dr: I think your mom has a UTI, this is Dr. newbie, I am training her
ME: it’s a stroke
Dr; it’s not a stroke
Me: yes it’s a stroke, it’s not a UTI
Dr: well if it was a stroke she’d has problems with one side
Me: no not necessarily, it’s a stroke.
Dr: turns to newbie. This is classic UTI, we will get samples and treat with antibiotics
Me; to newbie… this is classic dr not listening to patients advocate … my mom has a history of TIA’s she has had a massive stroke … so the lesson here is don’t be so quick to ignore you patients advocate and ask for some medical history.

2 hours late
Dr newbie: you were right no UTI, it’s probably a stroke and perhaps a seizure we will send you to get MRI and other tests.
Me: where is the other dr.

Dr newbie: yea he’s not coming back. She chuckles

Me: I guess you learned something tonight
Newbie: yes I did
Nurse: I knew it was a stroke too,

We laughed … of course she did.

/thatreallyhappened. Did all clap at the end for you PP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never had trouble being taken seriously by medical professionals. I know it’s a problem for a lot of women. I’m not sure why I’ve been lucky in this regard.

You may be: rich, connected, beautiful/thin, or part of a community that gives you status.

I was surprised when it started happening to me. But the truth is that women start really losing social status once they start visibly aging past childbearing age. I started noticing people's eyes glazing over when I spoke, even for short periods of time, like they couldn't be bothered to listen or like they assumed I was being dramatic or attention seeking.

I'm in good shape and reasonably attractive but not beautiful, and look my age. I think it's even harder for women who gain weight (everything gets blamed on their weight, they are treated as inherently at fault for all medical issues) but I've seen a real shift in the last 5 years as I've entered my mid-to-late 40s.

This has also happened in other areas of life. I can feel people becoming less interested in me as a person. Not friends or family but neighbors, colleagues, service providers. It's so eye opening because it also changes how I think about how I was treated before. I thought that was just normal, like that was how everyone got treated -- reasonably polite, decent service, respectful. But now I realize I might have been getting deferent treatment because I was perceived as being higher status (thin, attractive, UMC young white woman) and maybe now I'm getting what is actually "average" treatment. I hope it's made me more self-aware -- I work hard not to treat other people as I now get treated because it's demeaning.

+1000

I had no idea what kind of attention/privilege/power I was carrying around with my beauty until I aged and gained weight -- how I am treated by virtually everyone I don't know well drastically changed.

This is so true!

My beauty helped me lead a charmed life. And believe that people were almost all friendly and helpful.

Now (I am in my 60s and overweight), when a man or young person is helpful or shows a genuine interest in what I am saying, they are saintly to me!

I am 48. This is the reason I always try to go to older female employees for help in any customer service situation that is more important than a general inquiry. I am talking dmv or any other govt service. Unfortunately it’s not always possible to choose your agent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I think it’s the rise of misogyny as an overt political platform of both parties. Both parties are openly throwing themselves into misogyny as a winning electoral issue. It’s frankly terrifying.

What is the Dem misogyny?

The progressive wing of the party has leaned in hard on taking the side of using rape and sexual assault as a weapon of political terror. The refusal to unequivocally condemn the documented sexual violence from Hamas and the silence of progressive women’s organizations (which are all Democrat supporters) on the issue has been extremely demoralizing. I started 10/7 as someone who would have probably said that I am largely aligned with the Democratic progressives on issues related to Israel, but the horrific minimization from that wing of the party of the sexual torture endured by Israeli women and children has been profoundly shocking to me, and just part and parcel of the overall trend of using misogyny as a political platform.

The Democrats have also been leading the charge in eliminating sex-based protections and spaces for women and they seem to be openly pretending that women haven’t been terrorized for millennia because of their biology. This comes up in various contexts, including the self-ID laws that they’ve pushed, and the extreme misogynist reaction to women who point out safety issues for women’s prisons, women’s sports, and other hard-fought spaces of sanctuary for women. A lot of current gender ideology is rooted in extreme misogyny, and the Democrats have leaned in heavily on that.

My political allegiance for years has been to the party that supports women, because I believe that leads to better societies. But I have no home now. Obviously the Republicans are out. But now the Democrats are too. The Democrats seem to have seen how successful misogyny as a platform was for the Republicans and just adopted that approach.

The progressive’s extremism is paving the way for trump’s re-election in November.

No that’s ignorance and depravity.

[Anonymous]

Serious question: what age is middle age?

[Anonymous]

White middle aged women are sandwiched in their family life between their children and their parents, but also in their professional life, between the patriarchy and DEI. We're everyone's caretaker, but also everyone's bad guy, and no matter how hard we work, in every aspect of our lives, we're never a priority for promotion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Becoming invisible.

And peri/menopause has been awful for me with the hot flashes and sleep disturbances. Five years after it started, I finally have a doctor helping me address it.

I love being invisible. My life is so peaceful. I feel like I just drift along in my own world oblivious to everyone's drama.

To a point. My mother is now dying of Stage iV cancer because all the doctors blew her off and said all of her issues and aches and pains were due to old aging. Or it was all arthritis. Or worst, just in her head. Being invisible and unheard will shorten her life.

How old was she when she first started her quest? And you as well. And your kids.
My friend had a situation like this. However looking back it was better for her to deal with her mom’s passing when she was relatively young than if it lasted 10 more years or hit when her kids were applying to colleges etc.
So it does sound cruel but it may have been for the best

[Anonymous]

I vote - parents whose quality of life is very bad but they just won’t let go

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Becoming invisible.

And peri/menopause has been awful for me with the hot flashes and sleep disturbances. Five years after it started, I finally have a doctor helping me address it.

I love being invisible. My life is so peaceful. I feel like I just drift along in my own world oblivious to everyone's drama.

To a point. My mother is now dying of Stage iV cancer because all the doctors blew her off and said all of her issues and aches and pains were due to old aging. Or it was all arthritis. Or worst, just in her head. Being invisible and unheard will shorten her life.

How old was she when she first started her quest? And you as well. And your kids.
My friend had a situation like this. However looking back it was better for her to deal with her mom’s passing when she was relatively young than if it lasted 10 more years or hit when her kids were applying to colleges etc.
So it does sound cruel but it may have been for the best

I'm in my 40s, kids are teen/tweens. The timing is never good. We were contemplating a cross country move for careers and that will be much harder to figure out now b/c we won't want to leave my dad on his own and he's not likely to want to move with us. It never occurred to me my dad would outlive my mom. So, no, it won't be for the best.

[Anonymous]

Middle-aged men.