Are yoga pants ok?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend is upset because I wore yoga pants around him. We went to a bookstore to grab a cup of coffee. He says yoga pants are for doing yoga, and that if he puts in real clothes to see me I should do the same.

Is he European? I would not be offended by this as I also view fitness clothes as appropriate for the gym only. It does not take more time to put on dressy pants than to put on yoga pants. I think it is great that he is able to communicate to you his values because it will let you to decide if this corresponds with your values and priorities. By the way, Antoine Arnault also expresses his opinion on his wife's outfits and I don't see this as a big deal.

[Anonymous]

If my wife had a tight butt I’d be fine with her wearing yoga pants to a coffee shop. But after three kids and being 52 it would not be her best look. However, I do love her butt and with the right clothes her butt looks very good. If you can pull it off all power to you but not many women can.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Some of these last comments are really disgusting. Just because someone has fat rolls or cellulite doesnt mean they cant wear whatever they want. News alert - a fat person wearing yoga pants or jeans is still fat. You will still see them, you will still notice how fat they are, and if youre one of the people above fat shaming, you'll still judge and degrade them.
Let people wear what they want, and stop ogling people in public if it makes you so uncomfortable!

Anyways OP. Your bf sounds like a red piller/incel. Some of that verbiage is straight up from their playbook. I would not date someone who tried to police my clothing.

A person can wear what they want. But, people around them have a right to their opinion and thought. It works both ways. If you're fat and want to wear tight clothes. Fine. But, it's also fine for people who see you to judge you and think it's gross.

It goes both ways.

I'd rather someone be comfortable and confident than throw shade. YMMV, and if it makes you feel better to degrade and make fun of someone else, that's your own issue.

And your issue is you want everyone to see you through the eyes of your mother and think you are beautiful just as you are. We aren’t mom and you’re not beautiful.

I'm not talking about myself, I'm talking about all women.

Sorry you are such a hateful negative person. I try to treat people with love and kindness instead of disdain and poison. It really costs nothing to be a nice person. It costs nothing to move your eyes away from someone you find so disgusting. Good luck.

NP, I don’t go around telling people they’re ugly, still I can’t help but judge a fat lady in yoga pants. Believe me, I’m not alone. It’s gross to let yourself go that far that you’re obese and it’s even grosser that you wear yoga pants to show it off. And everyone’s supposed to support you for some reason. Personally, I think people like that a huge narcissists are who think the world revolves around them. They have no interest in other people’s comfort or feelings. They are not nice people.

There's a lot to unpack in your post. You seem to think you're powerless and that judging isn't something you can control. You CAN control it. You should reflect on this ugly aspect of your character and work on it.

You are responsible for your own feelings. Your discomfort and emotional response to 'a fat lady in yoga pants' is a YOU issue. No one other than you is responsible for your feelings and reactions. This is another area you need to work on.

Being disgusted by out of shape people helps some people stay motivated to maintain a good figure/weight/bmi/healthy habits, lest they become a blob in yoga pants.

It's a shame that the motivation for those people is external and not internal. It's a shame their motivation is based in fear and insecurity and not because of the health benefits to themselves.

The more you write the more unbearable you sound. Now, you’re judging other people’s motivations? What right do you have to determine what should or shouldn’t motivate people? Good god you are awful! You are quite possibly the most judgmental, sanctimonious person I have ever encountered and yet there you are preaching at other people to work on themselves. Pot meet kettle!!!!

Are you the poster calling people retards? Because I think you're replying to multiple different people. You definitely do need to work on yourself though.

No, I’m a new poster who only wrote to the sanctimonious fatty who is telling strangers how they’re supposed to feel, perceive and find their personal motivation. She keeps parroting some groupspeak babble she probably got at some workshop on having to work on oneself while being the epitome of obtuseness and hypocrisy. Is that you?

I'm the one you're referring to, not the PP. You really sound triggered by getting called out for your ugly bias and attitude. You, absolutely, should not feel disgusted or uncomfortable around fat people any more than you should be disgusted or uncomfortable around black,disabled or old people. It's wrong. Working out because you fear that other people will be disgusted by your physical appearance and uncomfortable in your presence is a sign of disordered thinking.

Be outraged all you want. You have a lot of work to do on yourself.

PP definitely hates this.

I'm an NP, but I think it's nuts comparing fat people to blacks and elderly. People can and do lose weight. I've never seen anyone change race or get younger.

+1, it’s so racist to compare being a Black person to being overindulgent and having a food addiction. And the best part is the adding of “you have a lot of work to do on yourself” at the end. This poster is remarkably obtuse.

-1 Your thinking and the PP's thinking is outdated. It is more recognized now that obesity is not a character flaw but a complex disorder with impairments in metabolism and regulation. There are certainly characteristics of addiction associated with it for some. If it were as easy as 'just lose weight' or 'stop eating' or 'exercise more', it wouldn't be the problem that it is today. Instead of being judgmental about it and considering it a character flaw, you should do some self-education to learn more about it. Being discriminated for a weight issue that is beyond your control is no different than discriminating against someone because of color, age or disability.

I feel compelled to point out that skin color is not the characteristic associated with people of color. Ever hear of the 'resume test'? Ever hear a black person 'code switch'? Many people of color to present themselves differently depending on the environment. They know they are discriminated against for more than their skin color.

How much do you spend on anti-aging products? You cannot change your chronological age but there's a whole anti-aging industry geared towards looking younger.

If only people were judged on the content of their character rather than physical appearance.....

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Some of these last comments are really disgusting. Just because someone has fat rolls or cellulite doesnt mean they cant wear whatever they want. News alert - a fat person wearing yoga pants or jeans is still fat. You will still see them, you will still notice how fat they are, and if youre one of the people above fat shaming, you'll still judge and degrade them.
Let people wear what they want, and stop ogling people in public if it makes you so uncomfortable!

Anyways OP. Your bf sounds like a red piller/incel. Some of that verbiage is straight up from their playbook. I would not date someone who tried to police my clothing.

A person can wear what they want. But, people around them have a right to their opinion and thought. It works both ways. If you're fat and want to wear tight clothes. Fine. But, it's also fine for people who see you to judge you and think it's gross.

It goes both ways.

I'd rather someone be comfortable and confident than throw shade. YMMV, and if it makes you feel better to degrade and make fun of someone else, that's your own issue.

And your issue is you want everyone to see you through the eyes of your mother and think you are beautiful just as you are. We aren’t mom and you’re not beautiful.

I'm not talking about myself, I'm talking about all women.

Sorry you are such a hateful negative person. I try to treat people with love and kindness instead of disdain and poison. It really costs nothing to be a nice person. It costs nothing to move your eyes away from someone you find so disgusting. Good luck.

NP, I don’t go around telling people they’re ugly, still I can’t help but judge a fat lady in yoga pants. Believe me, I’m not alone. It’s gross to let yourself go that far that you’re obese and it’s even grosser that you wear yoga pants to show it off. And everyone’s supposed to support you for some reason. Personally, I think people like that a huge narcissists are who think the world revolves around them. They have no interest in other people’s comfort or feelings. They are not nice people.

There's a lot to unpack in your post. You seem to think you're powerless and that judging isn't something you can control. You CAN control it. You should reflect on this ugly aspect of your character and work on it.

You are responsible for your own feelings. Your discomfort and emotional response to 'a fat lady in yoga pants' is a YOU issue. No one other than you is responsible for your feelings and reactions. This is another area you need to work on.

Being disgusted by out of shape people helps some people stay motivated to maintain a good figure/weight/bmi/healthy habits, lest they become a blob in yoga pants.

It's a shame that the motivation for those people is external and not internal. It's a shame their motivation is based in fear and insecurity and not because of the health benefits to themselves.

The more you write the more unbearable you sound. Now, you’re judging other people’s motivations? What right do you have to determine what should or shouldn’t motivate people? Good god you are awful! You are quite possibly the most judgmental, sanctimonious person I have ever encountered and yet there you are preaching at other people to work on themselves. Pot meet kettle!!!!

Are you the poster calling people retards? Because I think you're replying to multiple different people. You definitely do need to work on yourself though.

No, I’m a new poster who only wrote to the sanctimonious fatty who is telling strangers how they’re supposed to feel, perceive and find their personal motivation. She keeps parroting some groupspeak babble she probably got at some workshop on having to work on oneself while being the epitome of obtuseness and hypocrisy. Is that you?

I'm the one you're referring to, not the PP. You really sound triggered by getting called out for your ugly bias and attitude. You, absolutely, should not feel disgusted or uncomfortable around fat people any more than you should be disgusted or uncomfortable around black,disabled or old people. It's wrong. Working out because you fear that other people will be disgusted by your physical appearance and uncomfortable in your presence is a sign of disordered thinking.

Be outraged all you want. You have a lot of work to do on yourself.

PP definitely hates this.

I'm an NP, but I think it's nuts comparing fat people to blacks and elderly. People can and do lose weight. I've never seen anyone change race or get younger.

+1, it’s so racist to compare being a Black person to being overindulgent and having a food addiction. And the best part is the adding of “you have a lot of work to do on yourself” at the end. This poster is remarkably obtuse.

-1 Your thinking and the PP's thinking is outdated. It is more recognized now that obesity is not a character flaw but a complex disorder with impairments in metabolism and regulation. There are certainly characteristics of addiction associated with it for some. If it were as easy as 'just lose weight' or 'stop eating' or 'exercise more', it wouldn't be the problem that it is today. Instead of being judgmental about it and considering it a character flaw, you should do some self-education to learn more about it. Being discriminated for a weight issue that is beyond your control is no different than discriminating against someone because of color, age or disability.

I feel compelled to point out that skin color is not the characteristic associated with people of color. Ever hear of the 'resume test'? Ever hear a black person 'code switch'? Many people of color to present themselves differently depending on the environment. They know they are discriminated against for more than their skin color.

How much do you spend on anti-aging products? You cannot change your chronological age but there's a whole anti-aging industry geared towards looking younger.

If only people were judged on the content of their character rather than physical appearance.....

As a kid, teachers gave us well-intentioned lessons about not discriminating. But I remember being thrown by them saying something like "the only difference between black and white people is the color of their skin." Even in grade school, I recognized that wasn't true. Why could I tell someone was probably black over the phone or on the radio if only skin color was different?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Some of these last comments are really disgusting. Just because someone has fat rolls or cellulite doesnt mean they cant wear whatever they want. News alert - a fat person wearing yoga pants or jeans is still fat. You will still see them, you will still notice how fat they are, and if youre one of the people above fat shaming, you'll still judge and degrade them.
Let people wear what they want, and stop ogling people in public if it makes you so uncomfortable!

Anyways OP. Your bf sounds like a red piller/incel. Some of that verbiage is straight up from their playbook. I would not date someone who tried to police my clothing.

A person can wear what they want. But, people around them have a right to their opinion and thought. It works both ways. If you're fat and want to wear tight clothes. Fine. But, it's also fine for people who see you to judge you and think it's gross.

It goes both ways.

I'd rather someone be comfortable and confident than throw shade. YMMV, and if it makes you feel better to degrade and make fun of someone else, that's your own issue.

And your issue is you want everyone to see you through the eyes of your mother and think you are beautiful just as you are. We aren’t mom and you’re not beautiful.

I'm not talking about myself, I'm talking about all women.

Sorry you are such a hateful negative person. I try to treat people with love and kindness instead of disdain and poison. It really costs nothing to be a nice person. It costs nothing to move your eyes away from someone you find so disgusting. Good luck.

NP, I don’t go around telling people they’re ugly, still I can’t help but judge a fat lady in yoga pants. Believe me, I’m not alone. It’s gross to let yourself go that far that you’re obese and it’s even grosser that you wear yoga pants to show it off. And everyone’s supposed to support you for some reason. Personally, I think people like that a huge narcissists are who think the world revolves around them. They have no interest in other people’s comfort or feelings. They are not nice people.

There's a lot to unpack in your post. You seem to think you're powerless and that judging isn't something you can control. You CAN control it. You should reflect on this ugly aspect of your character and work on it.

You are responsible for your own feelings. Your discomfort and emotional response to 'a fat lady in yoga pants' is a YOU issue. No one other than you is responsible for your feelings and reactions. This is another area you need to work on.

Being disgusted by out of shape people helps some people stay motivated to maintain a good figure/weight/bmi/healthy habits, lest they become a blob in yoga pants.

It's a shame that the motivation for those people is external and not internal. It's a shame their motivation is based in fear and insecurity and not because of the health benefits to themselves.

The more you write the more unbearable you sound. Now, you’re judging other people’s motivations? What right do you have to determine what should or shouldn’t motivate people? Good god you are awful! You are quite possibly the most judgmental, sanctimonious person I have ever encountered and yet there you are preaching at other people to work on themselves. Pot meet kettle!!!!

Are you the poster calling people retards? Because I think you're replying to multiple different people. You definitely do need to work on yourself though.

No, I’m a new poster who only wrote to the sanctimonious fatty who is telling strangers how they’re supposed to feel, perceive and find their personal motivation. She keeps parroting some groupspeak babble she probably got at some workshop on having to work on oneself while being the epitome of obtuseness and hypocrisy. Is that you?

I'm the one you're referring to, not the PP. You really sound triggered by getting called out for your ugly bias and attitude. You, absolutely, should not feel disgusted or uncomfortable around fat people any more than you should be disgusted or uncomfortable around black,disabled or old people. It's wrong. Working out because you fear that other people will be disgusted by your physical appearance and uncomfortable in your presence is a sign of disordered thinking.

Be outraged all you want. You have a lot of work to do on yourself.

PP definitely hates this.

I'm an NP, but I think it's nuts comparing fat people to blacks and elderly. People can and do lose weight. I've never seen anyone change race or get younger.

+1, it’s so racist to compare being a Black person to being overindulgent and having a food addiction. And the best part is the adding of “you have a lot of work to do on yourself” at the end. This poster is remarkably obtuse.

-1 Your thinking and the PP's thinking is outdated. It is more recognized now that obesity is not a character flaw but a complex disorder with impairments in metabolism and regulation. There are certainly characteristics of addiction associated with it for some. If it were as easy as 'just lose weight' or 'stop eating' or 'exercise more', it wouldn't be the problem that it is today. Instead of being judgmental about it and considering it a character flaw, you should do some self-education to learn more about it. Being discriminated for a weight issue that is beyond your control is no different than discriminating against someone because of color, age or disability.

I feel compelled to point out that skin color is not the characteristic associated with people of color. Ever hear of the 'resume test'? Ever hear a black person 'code switch'? Many people of color to present themselves differently depending on the environment. They know they are discriminated against for more than their skin color.

How much do you spend on anti-aging products? You cannot change your chronological age but there's a whole anti-aging industry geared towards looking younger.

If only people were judged on the content of their character rather than physical appearance.....

Lol, you must be one helluva dawg!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Look like this in yoga pants and you can wear there anywhere. No man will complain - none

A classy man would complain. Those outfits are wholly inappropriate for the bookstore. Also, the lady in the blue’s behind is much too big to keep uncovered like that.

Uh, ok

[Anonymous]

Wow, so many trolls have taken over these forums they just aren't very useful anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you be upset if he wore sweatpants or joggers for your date?

Bc it's the same thing.

If not, then you guys just aren't compatible.

But if that would bother you, then you should hold yourself to the same standard

+1
If your bf showed up in sweats, would you be flattered that he was so comfortable around you? If yes, it's okay for you to wear the same. If not, and you think he should make more of an effort, then he has a point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend is upset because I wore yoga pants around him. We went to a bookstore to grab a cup of coffee. He says yoga pants are for doing yoga, and that if he puts in real clothes to see me I should do the same.

Is he European? I would not be offended by this as I also view fitness clothes as appropriate for the gym only. It does not take more time to put on dressy pants than to put on yoga pants. I think it is great that he is able to communicate to you his values because it will let you to decide if this corresponds with your values and priorities. By the way, Antoine Arnault also expresses his opinion on his wife's outfits and I don't see this as a big deal.

Ok Eurotrash. Some of us don’t actually think “dressy pants” are appropriate for a Saturday bookstore visit. And why would I care what some French businessman thinks?

The fact is, a man who thinks he has oversigh over his parter’s outfits has control issues in other areas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend is upset because I wore yoga pants around him. We went to a bookstore and to grab a cup of coffee. He says yoga pants are for doing yoga, and that if he puts in real clothes to see me I should do the same.

Most boyfriends don’t even know wtf yoga pants are. And DC isn’t a dressy place in the winter or summer, or ever.

Troll

[Anonymous]

Bring back things and those see through stretch lululemons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you be upset if he wore sweatpants or joggers for your date?

Bc it's the same thing.

If not, then you guys just aren't compatible.

But if that would bother you, then you should hold yourself to the same standard

+1
If your bf showed up in sweats, would you be flattered that he was so comfortable around you? If yes, it's okay for you to wear the same. If not, and you think he should make more of an effort, then he has a point.

The male equivalent is more like khakis or cargo pants. But I wouldn’t mind any sort of athleisure as long as it fit and was clean and not too worn. I am very active on the weekends and wouldn’t wear my “dressy pants” to the bookstore, lol, because I would have walked or biked there, and may in fact be headed to yoga or the gym after.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend is upset because I wore yoga pants around him. We went to a bookstore and to grab a cup of coffee. He says yoga pants are for doing yoga, and that if he puts in real clothes to see me I should do the same.

Well, I read all 13 pages and this thread went in several directions. Speaking as a guy, I'd be interested in exactly how upset he was or how snotty his words were. On the surface this sounds bad but I'll be honest and open myself up to the slings and arrows on this board. My wife never wears these outside of the house, but I'll admit I wouldn't be comfortable with her wearing them out in public all the time, and absolutely because I don't like the idea of her goods being shown off to other men.

Now, before the the women here start firing away. My wife and I have a great marriage and among other things, we're open and communicate very well. If the above situation occurred, I'd simply tell her I'm not comfortable and this is why. I have no problem being vulnerable. Also to be clear, I'm not demanding she change her behavior, it's her choice after the conversation happens.

if your boyfriend was angrier than that during the conversation, folks here are probably right that you need to think about moving on. But if he was simply explaining his preference and did so without anger...well, men can have preferences too, it doesn't always have to be about narcissism and control, and I'm not sure why that conclusion is jumped to so frequently. No matter how good someone looks in those pants, some of them are so thin and stretched that in the right light, they're basically see through, and your boyfriend may not be comfortable with that. Again, it can be as simple as preferences. Men might prefer to not date a woman whose fashion choices are practically an OnlyFans website. Without having heard the conversation, I have no idea what the tone was, but it might be a lot less malicious than people here are making it out to be.

Having lurked here long enough, let me just head off the inevitable.

- Yes, I make a lot of money, about twice as much as my wife. No, I do not care and don't use this as a control thing, she also has a great career and we're equal partners.
- Yes, I am over six feet tall.
- Yes, I help with the housework.
- Yes, I help with our kids. In fact, due to my flexible schedule, I actually do significantly more of the child related activities than she does.
- Yes, I am in reasonably good shape. No, I am not a hypocrite, I don't dress to attract female attention while expecting different of her.
- Yes, everything works. We have sex probably four times a week on average and I'm pretty giving, making sure she's taken care of.

I probably missed one but that seems to be the list of ways men get attacked here. While all of the the above is true, it was mostly tongue in cheek so please don't get your blood pressure up responding to me.

TL;DR - men can also have opinions/preferences if shared respectfully, it isn't always abusive behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend is upset because I wore yoga pants around him. We went to a bookstore and to grab a cup of coffee. He says yoga pants are for doing yoga, and that if he puts in real clothes to see me I should do the same.

if your boyfriend was angrier than that during the conversation, folks here are probably right that you need to think about moving on. But if he was simply explaining his preference and did so without anger...well, men can have preferences too, it doesn't always have to be about narcissism and control, and I'm not sure why that conclusion is jumped to so frequently. No matter how good someone looks in those pants, some of them are so thin and stretched that in the right light, they're basically see through, and your boyfriend may not be comfortable with that. Again, it can be as simple as preferences. Men might prefer to not date a woman whose fashion choices are practically an OnlyFans website. Without having heard the conversation, I have no idea what the tone was, but it might be a lot less malicious than people here are making it out to be.

And that is totally fine! Just dont wear them if they make you feel uncomfortable No need to dictate another fully grown humans clothing choices.

[Anonymous]

This is another reason why men are preferring foreign women

Foreign women, rich or poor, don’t wear athleisure 24/7

Euro, Asian, Latin American, African — it’s just not done