NP. I agree we should all exercise a bit of common empathy, but OP's post wasn't exactly looking for friends. And THAT is the problem with America. You can't find two people who can agree to compromise on anything. Rather than being willing to come to the middle and acknowledge that given how common peanut allergies are we probably shouldn't let our kids eat PB&J sandwiches while playing on the playground equipment, we have the two sides of "my kid has an allergy so you need to alter your entire life to accommodate them" and "I don't give a flying fig about anyone's kids but my own so if you kid dies because they're allergic to my kid's favorite snack then, well, survival of the fittest." It's the same issue with anything - gun control, abortion, you name it. People say things that are inflammatory and/or obnoxious and it just drives people to their separate sides instead of promoting compromise. OP could have posted asking for people's ideas about how to handle the situation. She could have acknowledged that her kid isn't any more important than anyone else's kid (I'm not saying the desire to eat a PB&J outweighs the risk of death to a kid, but you have the mom of the autistic kid saying that's all her son eats, which we all knew was coming...). But she didn't. Instead she posted with a judgmental tone about kids eating some sort of high-end sounding food (I've never heard of these products before so maybe I'm just not cool enough) and she assumed that whoever let their kid do that was overtly flouting the safety of OP's kid, instead of acknowledging that parents who don't have kids with allergies spend little to no time thinking about allergens on a regular basis. So I'm not dismissing OP's concerns for her child. That genuinely sounds like a very difficult way to live, and I'm sad OP and her child have to deal with that. And I'm not dismissing some PP's points that the onus is on OP, not others, to shelter her kid. But rather than running to opposite sides of the spectrum, why can't everyone, starting with the OP, find a way to be more reasonable and compromise? |
I’ll start. OP should begin by going to her town council and requesting signs at the playground: “no food allowed on equipment.” |
What is "NK"???
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No thanks. You do you. I'll eat my sandwich at the playground picnic table. |
OP didn’t have a problem with that, just asked for hands to be washed. |
This is such a reasonable comment. Also, I find it interesting that you can find comments on this thread saying “Only in America are parents so selfish they won’t accommodate a kid with a deadly allergy” and “only in America can you find parents so entitled they think they can force everyone to change to accommodate one kid.” Both are exaggerations, and there’s also a kernel of truth in both. We live in a highly individualistic culture the creates conflicts like this by always putting one individual’s needs against another’s, instead of looking for common sense solutions that serve the vast majority of needs. It’s also very American to assume the only solution to this problem is the yell at individual parents to fix it themselves. In many other cultures, the obvious answer to this would be: - make sure playgrounds have designated eating areas away from equipment - provide a sanitation station so kids and adults can wash hands after eating - post informative signs to make people aware of the importance of washing hands before and after eating In other countries, the well-being of children is viewed as a common good and instead of expecting individual parents to solve everything themselves, there is an assumption that society plays a collective role that can relieve burdens on families. |
This. First, I always find these threads so crazy. I have a really picky kid who gets a lot of her protein from nuts and nut butters and we always managed to not take those foods in public because OBVIOUSLY we don't want to be the cause of some kid's anaphylactic reaction. I am surprised at how heartless people are. But also, we never brought food to the playground when my kids were little unless it was a picnic lunch and then we sat down ate, and cleaned hands after eating. And we did not bring nuts. |
NP So you really think it’s appropriate to ask a mom who clearly has her hands full dealing with her own family to remember to actively change her behavior concerning nuts because they might possibly come into contact with someone who has a severe nut allergy? I know you’ll never admit it, but that is not a reasonable ask. At all. |
Ironically Bambas is an Israeli food that has been shown in studies to reduce the incidence of peanut allergies when consumed regularly by babies/toddlers So the parent giving their kid Bambas may be doing do to reduce the chances of their kid getting peanut allergies. I had never heard of it either until a nurse recommended it to me and the it was basically the main snack food I gave my kid when she was a baby. It’s a great way to introduce kids to peanuts. In any case I agree with you. ![]() |
+1 this is the right answer. Even if kids didn’t rub around with snacks, there could still be residue anywhere on that playground. Not a chance I’d be willing to take with my kid if they had life threatening allergies to residues. |
Agree, I think OP's only hope is to try to get peanuts banned completely. She should lobby the federal government. Only a total ban will ensure that no one ever leaves their home with peanut residue on their body. |
Wouldn't this be assault ? I would pay to see you tearing a PN&J sandwich from a child and the child screaming and the mother attacking you. It is your responsibility to keep your child safe and if it's a food allergy, you teach them extreme safety measures. You cannot realistically expect children at a playground to not eat peanuts or derivative thereof. |
Wow what a thread. I am NP and another mom of a child with ARFID who eats a lot of nut butters and nut fortified products. I am happy to take this post as a reminder to make sure my kids wipe their hands after eating at a park/playground. My oldest was in a class years ago with a child with a severe nut allergy and we didn’t let our DC eat peanut butter before school because I just didn’t trust them to not get it on their clothes. But in the absence of a known allergy sometimes we don’t always have these things at the forefront of our brain. It’s a hard balance and we do need to eat at the park sometimes (sibling has multiple games on the attached soccer field, schedule changed and kids are hungry. I honestly don’t see kids walking around with snacks on the playground aside from little toddlers with cups of milk, so it’s hard to really picture what you are talking about. Mine might come and sit down and go back to playing with out cleaning their hands but I can work on that.
When the friend with a nut allergy also was allergic to eggs so when he came to my DC birthday party, I did want to get my kid their favorite dessert (they would not enjoy most treats) but offered a egg free alternative for the other child. The mom said she would rather bring him her own dessert that she knew was safe and tasted ok. I fully respect that and to be honest was thinking about her when I was reading this thread. It’s probably so frustrating to see people doing things that feel dangerous to your child. I can totally understand that but many of us are thinking about other things every day and we aren’t able to consider every allergy every moment even if we can try to do a bit better. BUT I have to imagine you know at the end of the day you are going to have to be vigilant and for that you have my sympathy. |
I read Jeff's comment on this thread as I wasn't necessarily interested in reading this whole thing. But, he noted that some of the negative posters live outside the area and attributed that to their unwillingness to accommodate the possibility of a peanut allergy. Hmm..interesting idea.
I live outside the DMV. My kids are not allergic to peanuts. I rarely bring any peanut products to a public place and, if I thought about it for a minute, I wouldn't have them at a playground at all. I don't always thinks about it, though. With peanut allergies on the rise, I'm willing to keep the peanut products at home for the sake of other children. Thanks for the reminder. |
If you are being realistic then you would acknowledge that there will all be contrarians at the park, like the "over my dead body" poster so there won't be a peanut free environment. What then? I think that's what some of us want to know because insisting everyone wash their hands and be snack free is a fool's errand. |