Please don’t let your children eat common allergens while playing on public playground equipment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait until your child gets to elementary school, high school, college and the work world. Are you going to tell your child’s roommates they can’t eat almonds?

Actually yes. We only will be able to send her to peanut free schools. In college she will have to request a peanut free roommate unless she grows out of it. And we’re working on it.

These don’t exist. Maybe preschools.

Good luck.

NP. Our kids attend a private K-12 school in NYC and it is definitely nut free. Our kids don’t have any allergies, thankfully, but we are always mindful not to bring nuts as a snack to the playground. At home, it is one of our favorite snack foods (not peanuts, but all the other nuts).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't get past people's apparent need to have their children eating 24/7.

I was taught never to eat in front of other children, when I was a child, and I don't let my kids do so. They haven't withered away from starvation yet.

np Ok miss judgy pants. Just because you eat at the park does not mean you eat 24/7. I go to the park with my kids and sometimes it is over lunch time so yes I bring snacks and the dreaded "peanut butter and jelly sandwich" because my ds has Autism and that is what he enjoys eating.

So,you are free to do whatever YOU want but, if I want to take my kid to the playground and if he is hungry than we will eat at the picnic tables..( ever wonder what they are for?) than you and op will have to deal with it.

Sorry not sorry.

PS We are not eating on the playground equipment and we wash our hands. I would never smear peanut butter in your kids' face

“Sorry not sorry” is for 12-year-olds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. You have to learn to be ruthless. As you can see, these people don’t care about your kid. They don’t care or she lives or dies. They only care about their child and their comfort.

So what do I do? Grab the snack and throw it out. I don’t care if I make an enemy out of every parent and nanny in the park. You will have to learn to aggressively put your child first because everyone around them won’t ever.

Let them be angry. My child’s right to life is more important than your kids snack.

That’s assault against a child. Hope you have a lot of money for legal bills.

“Grabbing a snack” is not “assault against a child.” How asinine. And you’re the people claiming OP is dramatic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here, and I have not read much of the thread. But as the parent of a kid in kindergarten, this is something I've thought a lot about.

I understand OP's request and why she would make it. If my child had a serious allergy, I'd of course worry about this too, and do whatever I could to protect my kid. That's what good parents do. I get it, I really do.

But here is the problem. I have a kid with ARFID who relies on nut butters and nuts to get enough protein. I expend a ton of energy worrying about my kid's diet. And what you are asking me to do is worry that some of the very few foods my kids will eat might leave a residue on her fingers that could be transferred to a piece of playground equipment and then harm your child.

I'm sorry, that's too much. It's too much! I have to worry about my own kid. Is the risk from a peanut residue actually that dangerous to your kid? If so, I think that like me, you need to take the responsibility for your child's unique situation on yourself -- wipe down equipment if you are concerned, have your kid wear gloves, even be ready to let other families at the playground know the situation so that they can make reasonable choices in the moment.

But to ask me to simply refrain from allowing my kid to eat one of a very small number of foods she will eat at the playground, especially when these foods are already not allowed at her school, is too much. I can't. I'd like to help you, but I can't. Just like you can't help me.

Good luck to you.

Oh, for God’s sake. Your kid doesn’t NEED to eat on the playground. Eat the sandwich at home, wash hands, go to playground. Simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here, and I have not read much of the thread. But as the parent of a kid in kindergarten, this is something I've thought a lot about.

I understand OP's request and why she would make it. If my child had a serious allergy, I'd of course worry about this too, and do whatever I could to protect my kid. That's what good parents do. I get it, I really do.

But here is the problem. I have a kid with ARFID who relies on nut butters and nuts to get enough protein. I expend a ton of energy worrying about my kid's diet. And what you are asking me to do is worry that some of the very few foods my kids will eat might leave a residue on her fingers that could be transferred to a piece of playground equipment and then harm your child.

I'm sorry, that's too much. It's too much! I have to worry about my own kid. Is the risk from a peanut residue actually that dangerous to your kid? If so, I think that like me, you need to take the responsibility for your child's unique situation on yourself -- wipe down equipment if you are concerned, have your kid wear gloves, even be ready to let other families at the playground know the situation so that they can make reasonable choices in the moment.

But to ask me to simply refrain from allowing my kid to eat one of a very small number of foods she will eat at the playground, especially when these foods are already not allowed at her school, is too much. I can't. I'd like to help you, but I can't. Just like you can't help me.

Good luck to you.

NP. Of course you child should eat what she needs to eat.

And then, if you're on or going to a playground, you can wash or wipe down her hands.

There! Your child gets the nutrition she needs and does not spread substances that potentially can make someone else's child ill. But nowhere in your otherwise supposedly reasonable post did you ever mention YOUR "taking the responsibility for your child's unique situation on YOURself" by wiping her hands.

You do realize, PP, it is easier for a parent to wipe or wash ONE child's two little hands than for the OP to have to go all over a playground wiping down every rung on every ladder, every slide, every pole--? Oh, you cannot take a few moments to wipe your child's hands but OP should "wipe down equipment if you are concerned," as if that is an effort equivalent to your just wiping your kid's hands. I'm betting you'll come back to huff and puff and say of course you wash or wipe your kid's hands. Eh, if you do, why bother to post at length about how this is really all on OP, then?

There have been nasty knee-jerk name-calling posts on here by trollish little creeps. Yet somehow your rational, reasonable, "I've got a kid with seriousl issues too, it's so hard!" post is even worse to me. You do not possess the empathy you might think you do, PP.

PP here. Of course my kid washes or sanitizes her hands at the playground after eating. And just in general. Of course we do this. But that is actually not what OP is asking.

She is asking me to be vigilant about it, as though to assume that any child at the playground could have a severe allergy that could kill them if my child's food somehow got onto playground equipment. She is asking me to avoid bringing these foods to the playground at all, or if I do, to be very careful about only consuming them away from the equipment and then making sure that my child has no residue on her hands before playing. She is asking for a level of care and vigilance that I am simply not capable.

I sometimes forget to have my kid use a wipe or sanitizer after she eats. Usually I remember, sometimes I don't. Kids are all over the place. In many cases, I've just spent the previous 15-20 minutes going through a routine we learned from our OT for her ARFID that is supposed to help her relax around foods and try a new food or an old food in a new way. I am expending a lot of my focus on that and sometimes I might forget to get the sanitizer or hand her a wipe.

Also, she's 6, so she wipes her hands at varying levels of competence. Sometimes I supervise and will note that she didn't get it all, but I miss things. I am an imperfect person with my hands full. And my own child does not have a nut allergy, she has a different but seriously difficult issue with eating and I am focused on dealing with that. Also, maybe something gets on her clothes an I miss that. I miss things, I am flawed, I am at the playground not in an operating theater.

If another parent approached me at the playground and said "Hi, my son has a serious peanut allergy and I would love if you could make sure to eat any tree nuts in another part of the play area and also to make sure your child washes her hands thoroughly before getting on the equipment?" I'd say "oh, of course, happy to" and then I would be extra vigilant that day and make sure my DD knows that we need to be careful around this kid because of the allergy. The same way I never send anything with peanuts to school because of allergies there.

But I cannot be that vigilant all the time. It's too hard and I have too much other stuff on my plate. I'm sorry. I really am.

You made OP's kid's situation all about you and the stuff on your plate. We get it, life is hard with a kid who has a condition. I think OP knows a lot about that too. But you aren't seeing that if OP has to stop and ask ask ask ask every parent on a playground please to wipe kids' hands etc., well, her kid's playtime is over by the time she's approached everyone individually. She's not aiming this just at YOU. She's saying she sees multiple kids eating on equipment very frequently, so her plea is a broader one to parents in general to stop that. I"m sure all those parents will say "I cannot be that vigilant all the time" and like you will be nice if asked, but you don't see that the constant asking is as wearing for a parent like OP as focusing on your kid's issues is wearing on you.

No, you're not getting it.

I know OP's problems aren't about me, anymore than my problems are about her. My point is: we all have problems, and what OP is asking is for me to prioritize her problems. And I'm not even saying I don't want to. I'm saying I can't. I am at capacity. I am not capable of taking the level of care OP is requesting in order to ensure that her child is safe. It is beyond me, not because I don't care, but because I am incapable of caring to the degree that she needs me to, because I have my hands full taking care of my own problems.

She is asking the impossible.

Yes, you are. You really are. It’s a very simple, small ask. It’s not that you “can’t.” You’re just refusing, like a toddler.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you all keep dissing kids who are eating at the park? DH works late one night a week, so my kids and I have a tradition of packing sandwiches (yes often PBJ) and eating dinner at the playground. I see lots of kids eating lunches and dinners there.

So eat your sandwich at home, wash your hands and go to the park. A “tradition?” GTFOH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here, and I have not read much of the thread. But as the parent of a kid in kindergarten, this is something I've thought a lot about.

I understand OP's request and why she would make it. If my child had a serious allergy, I'd of course worry about this too, and do whatever I could to protect my kid. That's what good parents do. I get it, I really do.

But here is the problem. I have a kid with ARFID who relies on nut butters and nuts to get enough protein. I expend a ton of energy worrying about my kid's diet. And what you are asking me to do is worry that some of the very few foods my kids will eat might leave a residue on her fingers that could be transferred to a piece of playground equipment and then harm your child.

I'm sorry, that's too much. It's too much! I have to worry about my own kid. Is the risk from a peanut residue actually that dangerous to your kid? If so, I think that like me, you need to take the responsibility for your child's unique situation on yourself -- wipe down equipment if you are concerned, have your kid wear gloves, even be ready to let other families at the playground know the situation so that they can make reasonable choices in the moment.

But to ask me to simply refrain from allowing my kid to eat one of a very small number of foods she will eat at the playground, especially when these foods are already not allowed at her school, is too much. I can't. I'd like to help you, but I can't. Just like you can't help me.

Good luck to you.

NP. Of course you child should eat what she needs to eat.

And then, if you're on or going to a playground, you can wash or wipe down her hands.

There! Your child gets the nutrition she needs and does not spread substances that potentially can make someone else's child ill. But nowhere in your otherwise supposedly reasonable post did you ever mention YOUR "taking the responsibility for your child's unique situation on YOURself" by wiping her hands.

You do realize, PP, it is easier for a parent to wipe or wash ONE child's two little hands than for the OP to have to go all over a playground wiping down every rung on every ladder, every slide, every pole--? Oh, you cannot take a few moments to wipe your child's hands but OP should "wipe down equipment if you are concerned," as if that is an effort equivalent to your just wiping your kid's hands. I'm betting you'll come back to huff and puff and say of course you wash or wipe your kid's hands. Eh, if you do, why bother to post at length about how this is really all on OP, then?

There have been nasty knee-jerk name-calling posts on here by trollish little creeps. Yet somehow your rational, reasonable, "I've got a kid with seriousl issues too, it's so hard!" post is even worse to me. You do not possess the empathy you might think you do, PP.

PP here. Of course my kid washes or sanitizes her hands at the playground after eating. And just in general. Of course we do this. But that is actually not what OP is asking.

She is asking me to be vigilant about it, as though to assume that any child at the playground could have a severe allergy that could kill them if my child's food somehow got onto playground equipment. She is asking me to avoid bringing these foods to the playground at all, or if I do, to be very careful about only consuming them away from the equipment and then making sure that my child has no residue on her hands before playing. She is asking for a level of care and vigilance that I am simply not capable.

I sometimes forget to have my kid use a wipe or sanitizer after she eats. Usually I remember, sometimes I don't. Kids are all over the place. In many cases, I've just spent the previous 15-20 minutes going through a routine we learned from our OT for her ARFID that is supposed to help her relax around foods and try a new food or an old food in a new way. I am expending a lot of my focus on that and sometimes I might forget to get the sanitizer or hand her a wipe.

Also, she's 6, so she wipes her hands at varying levels of competence. Sometimes I supervise and will note that she didn't get it all, but I miss things. I am an imperfect person with my hands full. And my own child does not have a nut allergy, she has a different but seriously difficult issue with eating and I am focused on dealing with that. Also, maybe something gets on her clothes an I miss that. I miss things, I am flawed, I am at the playground not in an operating theater.

If another parent approached me at the playground and said "Hi, my son has a serious peanut allergy and I would love if you could make sure to eat any tree nuts in another part of the play area and also to make sure your child washes her hands thoroughly before getting on the equipment?" I'd say "oh, of course, happy to" and then I would be extra vigilant that day and make sure my DD knows that we need to be careful around this kid because of the allergy. The same way I never send anything with peanuts to school because of allergies there.

But I cannot be that vigilant all the time. It's too hard and I have too much other stuff on my plate. I'm sorry. I really am.

That sounds difficult, but she won't DIE if she doesn't have peanut butter at the park. Sorry...she just won't. It's not a fair comparison at all.

It's not a comparison. It's an explanation as to why other parents may simply not have the bandwidth and focus to think about how their choices around feeding their kids will impact your kid in a place like a playground or public park. No one is saying "my kid's access to peanut butter trumps your kid's life." No one.

You have to set achievable goals and when you make requests of other people, you need them to be realistic. What OP is asking is not realistic.

The thing is, even if I could assure you right now that I would never bring an allergen to the playground and that I would ensure that my child's hands were totally cleaned of allergens before getting on playground equipment, it wouldn't help you. Because sometimes my DH takes my kid to the playground. My DH is a lovely person who is often forgetful and oblivious. He also struggles even more than I do with our kid's eating issues. My DH is absolutely the kind of parent who would let our kid wander around a playground with a container of Bombas, and it would not even occur to him that this was a problem. Even if I told him explicitly "hey those are an allergen, please don't take them to the park." He'd forget.

Same with my mom, who sometimes takes DD to the park. Sitters we've hired in the past.

Like even if I decided "ok, I'm going to make protection of kids with allergies a high priority and do everything I can to keep them safe," I'd only be able to help you about half the time my kid is at the park. And the truth is that while I might be better about this stuff than my DH, mom, or our sitters (I do manage to keep all traces of nuts out of my kid's lunches and snacks), I'm still not 100% and I"m going to slip up some time because I just have too much on my mind and since my kid doesn't have this allergy, I will not be able to remember this every second of every day.

There's pretty much always about a 20% likelihood my child, who eats nut-based foods about 5x a day, will have nut residue somewhere on her body or clothes at any given time, and the only way I know who to bring that number down to zero while still feeding my kid is to make it my full time job, and I already have one of those.

I'm sorry.

Yes, they are. And especially you, presuming by your writing style and word choices that you’re the ARFID mom writing the multiple melodramatic screeds about how she simply CAN’T not feed her kid peanut butter IN THE PARK and she will simply perish at how overwhelmed she is by even being asked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here, and I have not read much of the thread. But as the parent of a kid in kindergarten, this is something I've thought a lot about.

I understand OP's request and why she would make it. If my child had a serious allergy, I'd of course worry about this too, and do whatever I could to protect my kid. That's what good parents do. I get it, I really do.

But here is the problem. I have a kid with ARFID who relies on nut butters and nuts to get enough protein. I expend a ton of energy worrying about my kid's diet. And what you are asking me to do is worry that some of the very few foods my kids will eat might leave a residue on her fingers that could be transferred to a piece of playground equipment and then harm your child.

I'm sorry, that's too much. It's too much! I have to worry about my own kid. Is the risk from a peanut residue actually that dangerous to your kid? If so, I think that like me, you need to take the responsibility for your child's unique situation on yourself -- wipe down equipment if you are concerned, have your kid wear gloves, even be ready to let other families at the playground know the situation so that they can make reasonable choices in the moment.

But to ask me to simply refrain from allowing my kid to eat one of a very small number of foods she will eat at the playground, especially when these foods are already not allowed at her school, is too much. I can't. I'd like to help you, but I can't. Just like you can't help me.

Good luck to you.

NP. Of course you child should eat what she needs to eat.

And then, if you're on or going to a playground, you can wash or wipe down her hands.

There! Your child gets the nutrition she needs and does not spread substances that potentially can make someone else's child ill. But nowhere in your otherwise supposedly reasonable post did you ever mention YOUR "taking the responsibility for your child's unique situation on YOURself" by wiping her hands.

You do realize, PP, it is easier for a parent to wipe or wash ONE child's two little hands than for the OP to have to go all over a playground wiping down every rung on every ladder, every slide, every pole--? Oh, you cannot take a few moments to wipe your child's hands but OP should "wipe down equipment if you are concerned," as if that is an effort equivalent to your just wiping your kid's hands. I'm betting you'll come back to huff and puff and say of course you wash or wipe your kid's hands. Eh, if you do, why bother to post at length about how this is really all on OP, then?

There have been nasty knee-jerk name-calling posts on here by trollish little creeps. Yet somehow your rational, reasonable, "I've got a kid with seriousl issues too, it's so hard!" post is even worse to me. You do not possess the empathy you might think you do, PP.

PP here. Of course my kid washes or sanitizes her hands at the playground after eating. And just in general. Of course we do this. But that is actually not what OP is asking.

She is asking me to be vigilant about it, as though to assume that any child at the playground could have a severe allergy that could kill them if my child's food somehow got onto playground equipment. She is asking me to avoid bringing these foods to the playground at all, or if I do, to be very careful about only consuming them away from the equipment and then making sure that my child has no residue on her hands before playing. She is asking for a level of care and vigilance that I am simply not capable.

I sometimes forget to have my kid use a wipe or sanitizer after she eats. Usually I remember, sometimes I don't. Kids are all over the place. In many cases, I've just spent the previous 15-20 minutes going through a routine we learned from our OT for her ARFID that is supposed to help her relax around foods and try a new food or an old food in a new way. I am expending a lot of my focus on that and sometimes I might forget to get the sanitizer or hand her a wipe.

Also, she's 6, so she wipes her hands at varying levels of competence. Sometimes I supervise and will note that she didn't get it all, but I miss things. I am an imperfect person with my hands full. And my own child does not have a nut allergy, she has a different but seriously difficult issue with eating and I am focused on dealing with that. Also, maybe something gets on her clothes an I miss that. I miss things, I am flawed, I am at the playground not in an operating theater.

If another parent approached me at the playground and said "Hi, my son has a serious peanut allergy and I would love if you could make sure to eat any tree nuts in another part of the play area and also to make sure your child washes her hands thoroughly before getting on the equipment?" I'd say "oh, of course, happy to" and then I would be extra vigilant that day and make sure my DD knows that we need to be careful around this kid because of the allergy. The same way I never send anything with peanuts to school because of allergies there.

But I cannot be that vigilant all the time. It's too hard and I have too much other stuff on my plate. I'm sorry. I really am.

You made OP's kid's situation all about you and the stuff on your plate. We get it, life is hard with a kid who has a condition. I think OP knows a lot about that too. But you aren't seeing that if OP has to stop and ask ask ask ask every parent on a playground please to wipe kids' hands etc., well, her kid's playtime is over by the time she's approached everyone individually. She's not aiming this just at YOU. She's saying she sees multiple kids eating on equipment very frequently, so her plea is a broader one to parents in general to stop that. I"m sure all those parents will say "I cannot be that vigilant all the time" and like you will be nice if asked, but you don't see that the constant asking is as wearing for a parent like OP as focusing on your kid's issues is wearing on you.

No, you're not getting it.

I know OP's problems aren't about me, anymore than my problems are about her. My point is: we all have problems, and what OP is asking is for me to prioritize her problems. And I'm not even saying I don't want to. I'm saying I can't. I am at capacity. I am not capable of taking the level of care OP is requesting in order to ensure that her child is safe. It is beyond me, not because I don't care, but because I am incapable of caring to the degree that she needs me to, because I have my hands full taking care of my own problems.

She is asking the impossible.

Yes, you are. You really are. It’s a very simple, small ask. It’s not that you “can’t.” You’re just refusing, like a toddler.

Are you really surprised? Of course this request was never going to get buy in. So, what now? Back to square one. What will
OP do differently?

[Anonymous]

I went a high school with 1600 kids where there were only three lunch periods/day. So 500+ kids eating lunch at once in an open-concept cafeteria. Do you seriously think it is in any way possible to monitor what students are bringing for lunch? Of course not! It would be dystopian to do so.

[Anonymous]

My kids are going to eat what we decide they’ll eat, thank you very much. Also, they won’t be calling you “Ms.____” either, unless you’re their teacher.

[Anonymous]

Even if everyone here agreed to what you’re asking, OP, as long as peanut products exist in the world you would still have to be just as diligent because you would never know if someone forgot to wash their hands after eating a peanut product. Even with the best of intentions, people make mistakes sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Doesn't the assumption have to be that someone there has eaten peanuts. Honestly thats why I don't think much about it, because I'm assuming that you as a parent have to operate as if there are peanuts so whether or not my kid is eating a bar with peanuts in it doesn't really matter.

Totally agree. Whether or not I eat a nut product at the playground, you as the parent have to assume that peanuts have contaminated the play space.

If you ask me, I will put away the peanuts although personally as a parent I wouldn’t understand (if I were you, I would immediately be leaving the playground with my child assuming the damage has been done). And I will not bring them to any peanut free school or facility, nor will I eat them on a plane where there is no escape in the event of a reaction (however, I have been served them by the airline, which surprised me).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t take your kid to a public park.

Would you say that to a child in a wheelchair?

If the child could die from touching playground equipment, yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here, and I have not read much of the thread. But as the parent of a kid in kindergarten, this is something I've thought a lot about.

I understand OP's request and why she would make it. If my child had a serious allergy, I'd of course worry about this too, and do whatever I could to protect my kid. That's what good parents do. I get it, I really do.

But here is the problem. I have a kid with ARFID who relies on nut butters and nuts to get enough protein. I expend a ton of energy worrying about my kid's diet. And what you are asking me to do is worry that some of the very few foods my kids will eat might leave a residue on her fingers that could be transferred to a piece of playground equipment and then harm your child.

I'm sorry, that's too much. It's too much! I have to worry about my own kid. Is the risk from a peanut residue actually that dangerous to your kid? If so, I think that like me, you need to take the responsibility for your child's unique situation on yourself -- wipe down equipment if you are concerned, have your kid wear gloves, even be ready to let other families at the playground know the situation so that they can make reasonable choices in the moment.

But to ask me to simply refrain from allowing my kid to eat one of a very small number of foods she will eat at the playground, especially when these foods are already not allowed at her school, is too much. I can't. I'd like to help you, but I can't. Just like you can't help me.

Good luck to you.

NP. Of course you child should eat what she needs to eat.

And then, if you're on or going to a playground, you can wash or wipe down her hands.

There! Your child gets the nutrition she needs and does not spread substances that potentially can make someone else's child ill. But nowhere in your otherwise supposedly reasonable post did you ever mention YOUR "taking the responsibility for your child's unique situation on YOURself" by wiping her hands.

You do realize, PP, it is easier for a parent to wipe or wash ONE child's two little hands than for the OP to have to go all over a playground wiping down every rung on every ladder, every slide, every pole--? Oh, you cannot take a few moments to wipe your child's hands but OP should "wipe down equipment if you are concerned," as if that is an effort equivalent to your just wiping your kid's hands. I'm betting you'll come back to huff and puff and say of course you wash or wipe your kid's hands. Eh, if you do, why bother to post at length about how this is really all on OP, then?

There have been nasty knee-jerk name-calling posts on here by trollish little creeps. Yet somehow your rational, reasonable, "I've got a kid with seriousl issues too, it's so hard!" post is even worse to me. You do not possess the empathy you might think you do, PP.

PP here. Of course my kid washes or sanitizes her hands at the playground after eating. And just in general. Of course we do this. But that is actually not what OP is asking.

She is asking me to be vigilant about it, as though to assume that any child at the playground could have a severe allergy that could kill them if my child's food somehow got onto playground equipment. She is asking me to avoid bringing these foods to the playground at all, or if I do, to be very careful about only consuming them away from the equipment and then making sure that my child has no residue on her hands before playing. She is asking for a level of care and vigilance that I am simply not capable.

I sometimes forget to have my kid use a wipe or sanitizer after she eats. Usually I remember, sometimes I don't. Kids are all over the place. In many cases, I've just spent the previous 15-20 minutes going through a routine we learned from our OT for her ARFID that is supposed to help her relax around foods and try a new food or an old food in a new way. I am expending a lot of my focus on that and sometimes I might forget to get the sanitizer or hand her a wipe.

Also, she's 6, so she wipes her hands at varying levels of competence. Sometimes I supervise and will note that she didn't get it all, but I miss things. I am an imperfect person with my hands full. And my own child does not have a nut allergy, she has a different but seriously difficult issue with eating and I am focused on dealing with that. Also, maybe something gets on her clothes an I miss that. I miss things, I am flawed, I am at the playground not in an operating theater.

If another parent approached me at the playground and said "Hi, my son has a serious peanut allergy and I would love if you could make sure to eat any tree nuts in another part of the play area and also to make sure your child washes her hands thoroughly before getting on the equipment?" I'd say "oh, of course, happy to" and then I would be extra vigilant that day and make sure my DD knows that we need to be careful around this kid because of the allergy. The same way I never send anything with peanuts to school because of allergies there.

But I cannot be that vigilant all the time. It's too hard and I have too much other stuff on my plate. I'm sorry. I really am.

That sounds difficult, but she won't DIE if she doesn't have peanut butter at the park. Sorry...she just won't. It's not a fair comparison at all.

There are nuts in a lot of foods that we don’t realize. Someone who is raising an allergy-free child is unlikely to keep track of those ingredients in all snack foods in a way that would keep a child like OP’s safe.

And lets remember, peanuts aren’t the only common food allergies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a death sentence for my NK. There is already so much she has to miss out on in life due to a severe anaphylactic allergy to peanuts.

I’m not saying your kid can’t go to the park and eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for a picnic. Wash their hands, etc. But having your kid run around on the equipment with a bag of Bamba’s leaving peanut oil residue on every surface means we can no longer play.

And I do understand we live in a “I, me and mine” society where it’s ok if not encouraged to get yours and do what you want because how your actions effect others isn’t your problem. I understand. I’m sad, that’s not how I’m raising my kids but I get that’s a key American value especially in dog eat dog D.C. but can we just try to have a little concern for others?

Take heart - in getting some peanut exposure you’re actually helping to build up her immunity.