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Lost child in NY asks the wrong person for help
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Anonymous
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I thought that we were supposed to tell our kids to ask a "lady" stranger for help when lost.
This Brooklyn boy (Leiby Kletzky) approached a man, or the man approached him. I tell my kids to avoid men at all costs when in need. YES it IS sexist, but I want my kids to survive. |
Anonymous
| I read the story yesterday and apart from how shocking his death was, I was wondering if the boy knew the safety rules in case he got lost. |
Anonymous
| it was an orthodox jewish community. so it's very possible that there are different standards of safety there. likely parents/children feel safer. i am not saying it's right, i am just saying that that could have played a part. |
Anonymous
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I think the issue is that Lieby was probably taught to listen to adults without question, especially within that community. I have a feeling he was never taught to not go with strangers, and the fact that the guy who took him was a part of the community probably gave the poor kid a false sense of trust.
I'd tell kids if they are lost to stay put, not go anywhere with anyone, and find someone in a uniform or a mom to call me. Have your kids know your number, and you can also write it down and put it in their pocket. I wouldn't do the "don't talk to strangers" talk because sometimes it's fine to talk to strangers and if you need help you may need to ask a stranger. You also run into strangers out in public all the time, policemen are strangers, firemen are strangers, etc. And you can go with a stranger without talking to them. The rule is don't go with strangers, not don't talk to them. I think it's also important to teach kids to stay in a public area, and not be afraid to ask for help and create a scene if needed. If someone tries to convince them to go with them, they should feel free to say no and if the stranger persists or threatens they should feel free to yell and make a scene so that someone will intervene. A simple "No I won't go with you. I don't know you" should be enough to alert those around them that the adult is not a relative or someone who knows the child. Regardless - what happened to Lieby is a horrific tragedy and I don't think we should be criticizing his parents. I'm sure they are doing enough of that on their own. |
Anonymous
| I tell my 4 year old if he gets separated from us to find another mommy with a baby. I figure a mom is most likely to help a lost child and it's easy for him to spot another baby or child. I agree it's sexist but I tell him not to go to a man if he gets lost unless it's a policeman or a security guard. |
Anonymous
| Why not a man with a baby? Incredibly sexist |
Anonymous
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I think that we underestimate the level of pathology in ANY society. Orthodox Jews have nuts too (and I have met some), and those parents should have told the boy to trust no one.
The religious garb is just what they were raised with it does not tell them how to behave. How am I supposed to assume that someone dressed like an Amish person or Orthodox Jew is safe? The rules apply everywhere since sociopath genes occur randomly. |
Anonymous
But, I agree. I tell my children to find a woman with kids or a woman w/o kids, but no men. |
Anonymous
Wrong. Just statistically wrong. Get over it. |
Anonymous
| dd got separated from us years ago when she was six. She did as I said, and asked a stranger lady for help. That woman took her to the police, and the police called us. I never got her name, I wanted to thank her. |
Anonymous
| does the killer's story sound weird to you? I don't think the guy actually panicked and killed him after seeing the news about him. I think he took him, probably sexually abused him and killed him and is trying to make it seem less "intentional." Either way, the story makes me so sad. I've helped a bunch of lost kids find their moms, both before and after I had a kid. I'm always really glad they feel they can "ask a lady" for help. |
Anonymous
| I've been told you are safer if you ask someone for help rather than waiting for someone to offer to help. You are less likely to pick a "bad" person at random. I do think predators look for children who look lost or like they need help. Some kids may need to practice this skill. My DS is shy and we have role played asking for help. We also role play calling 911 -- even when I say "This is 911 state the nature of the emergency" (or somethign like that) my son freezes. I hope practice helps. |
Anonymous
Maybe sexist, but the stats overwhelmingly favor safety with a woman. Sorry. |
Anonymous
This is the reality. Not some generalized sexist mindset. |
Anonymous
I heard on Good Morning America this morning that the killer took the boy to a wedding that night, which is just awful for the poor boy. To be surrounded by people and not be able to ask for help for whatever reason. The whole story is so horrific. I have a 6 year old and 4 year old, both of whom keep wanting independence, and stories like this make me feel like I want to walk them to school, up to and through college. I grew up in Queens and walked to school with my sister every day, but by the time I was in 3rd grade and she had moved on to jr. high, I either walked myself or with friends, and never thought a thing of it. I am just weeping for that poor boy and his family. 
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