AITA: Wife Bought Expensive Furniture W/O My Consent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a guy, I would rather drive an ice pick through my eye than be in a relationship where my spouse needed to come to me for “authorization” for spending on stuff we can afford.

I’m a woman, but I agree. My husband and I both have access to our bank account, have the ability to do basic math, and don’t want to go into debt.
I also wouldn’t want him buying new furniture for the house because he is super utilitarian about furniture. But if he wants an $800 scope for his rifle, and we can afford it, then go for it.

The only reason I can think of to have a rule like this is if one person really has a spending problem and you are actually going into debt. Otherwise, there is no need to criticize what your spouse sees as important and wants to spend money on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NTA. If you have agreed to the $500 limit and used it in your marriage successfully both ways, this was sneaky and inappropriate of her. I’m sorry, OP.

FWIW our rule is similar (though $100) and it’s never been an issue at any point to run child expenses by each other before spending. Kid is a tween now and it just requires a 5 minute conversation.

Your spouse was selfish. (And also kind of dumb to spend $6600 on furniture that will only be used a few years, even if you can afford it). Alas, what’s done is done. Better to sit down and discuss how to adjust things for future decisions so you are both satisfied.

This works only if your spouse generally says yes unless they have a reason to say no.
OP said that he would have told her not to buy it even though he doesn’t know or care about baby furniture, they could afford the expense, and he has no other plans for the money.

[Anonymous]

Now I'm side-eyeing my broke-ass IKEA sofa. WIll I spend 6K to replace it? no. Will i ask DH for his opinion on it? Yes, of course. The dude has to look at it daily and sit on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Now I'm side-eyeing my broke-ass IKEA sofa. WIll I spend 6K to replace it? no. Will i ask DH for his opinion on it? Yes, of course. The dude has to look at it daily and sit on it.

If you are a grown adult with money in retirement and emergency savings, all your bills paid, and extra money the bank that you have no plans for, then buy a decent couch!

[Anonymous]

Nesting instinct. Mothers-to-be and new mother's go hormonally crazy about the nursery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a troll and advertising for Larkin.

I spend much more on nursery for my kids.

Congrats on being rich?

This thread is amazing. Not that OP is getting roasted, but that people are just shrugging off the wife making major purchases because of “pregnancy hormones”. I’m sorry, that doesn’t just give you a pass to do whatever you want.

Same reason we allow men to be horndogs.
Hormones = no responsibility.

[Anonymous]

You gotta let it ago, and treat yourself to something when you're ready for a turn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"She didn’t get any authorization from me first"

WHAT?

How much was the total troll?

+1

I'd be ok of OP said "She didn’t give me a heads up first" since they have an agreement to discuss large purchases but AUTHORIZATION?!

Read the entire post and put it in context. OP was very clear that they BOTH provide authorization for purchases above $500. Wife is out of line here and he absolutely has the right to be pissed. Also it’s nuts to spend that much on “nursery furniture”.

[Anonymous]

OP, are you originally from country?

[Anonymous]

Data point:

I would never do this nor would my wife. 29 years of dating or marriage and every purchase over a few hundred has been discussed and never an argument. Including through three pregnancies.

I don’t understand the hormone thing. That’s for like wanting ice cream in the moment not deliberately spending thousands of dollars. It’s a post hoc rationalization.

She’s an adult and responsible for her behavior. She should apologize (then you should let it drop once she does).

[Anonymous]

Well baby 2 can use it too. But nursery furniture is for small people-isnt used for long. So there's that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"She didn’t get any authorization from me first"

WHAT?

How much was the total troll?

His wording is off but most people take their spouse's input before making a big financial decision.

That being said, you can't reason with a first time prego and live happily so let it go but rationally discuss importance of making bug decisions together, as being parents y'all have to be more responsible and will face more issues worth a mutual brainstorming.

OP here. I don’t think my wording was off. It may come across as harsh but is isn’t. We both are free to spend whatever we want, but bigger purchases over $500 are always given a heads up and authorization by each other. This allows us to keep our budget under control and not overspend.

Saying your wording was off is a kindler way of saying it was poorly written with lots of grammatical errors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much over?

Technically if each individual piece was within the limit, she did nothing wrong.

OP here. It was $6600. Most of the items were exceeding the $500. I’m just annoyed she did not let me know about a purchase this large.

That is A LOT for baby furniture, did she get everything she needs or is there still stuff missing? Did she buy qualify or cheap stuff with an expensive label?

And also a waste of money, probably.

[Anonymous]

Sounds kinda high for nursery furniture but not crazy high. Hopefully she got the crib to bed conversion kit that’s lasts awhile and a big dresser that will last. So you’re good for a few years. Just move on. It’s not like you didn’t need the furniture. I never consult my dh just send him his percentage of the bills (we do a 60/40 split on bills).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now I'm side-eyeing my broke-ass IKEA sofa. WIll I spend 6K to replace it? no. Will i ask DH for his opinion on it? Yes, of course. The dude has to look at it daily and sit on it.

If you are a grown adult with money in retirement and emergency savings, all your bills paid, and extra money the bank that you have no plans for, then buy a decent couch!

Seriously. But I hate shopping.