Forum Index
»
Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers
Playground incident
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
Something happened on the playground this weekend that I just can't stop thinking about.
Some friends from out of town were visiting and we all went to our local playground. In total, it was 5 adults and 5 kids between the ages of 4 and 6. The kids had met each other before, but only a few times. When we arrived, the playground was empty and the kids had it to themselves for about 45 minutes They were all at the top of a slide structure playing some pretend game fairly quietly, and every so often one of them would come down the slide and then run back up again. The adults were standing a few yards away, with a partial view of the kids (the only way to have had an unobstructed view is to be on the top of the structure with them.) So a while into their game, a man and his son arrived at the playground. The boy looked to be about 4 or 5yrs. The dad sat on the bench and proceeded to text on his Iphone. The boy went up to where the rest of the group was, and I heard some 'hi's' exchanged. All was well for about 10 minutes or so, and the kids were playing (no loud yelling, shrieking, not loud enough for me to clearly hear what was going on). All of the sudden, the 'other' boy comes down the slide looking upset, and goes to his father. The dad leans over to the boy, then yells to us "Keep your g** da** kids from mauling my son" then gets up an leaves. BTW, his view of where the kids were playing was equally obstructed, but from a different angle. So, we quickly call our kids and before even asking what happened, told them to run after the boy and say sorry that they upset him. The kids ran after the dad/son and yelled 'sorry', but they didn't acknowledge them. When we asked 'our' kids what went on, all we could gather is that they were playing 'good guys/bad guys' and they made the other kid the bad guy- and I guess he got upset. Now I realize this wasn't nice, but I would hardly call it 'mauling'. Plus, these are not very 'physical' kids, and I can't see any of them touching a kid they didn't know, far less 'mauling' him. I know one of 'our' 4 kids was particularly upset by this incident. I'm not sure how I feel about this- on one hand, if my child did 'maul' another child, or even touched or poked him, I want to know about it and nip that behavior in the bud. On the other hand, the I feel like that dad was kind of an ass. Not that I can put my finger on why I feel like that, but I just think that he should have maybe had a conversation with us about what happened. I've been taking my kids to that playground for years and don't think I've ever seen this kid before, so I don't know if I'll see him again to ask what happened. What would you think about this? How would you handle it if you ran into that family again? |
Anonymous
|
I think this was probably 98% about the relationship between that dad and his kid. And not your (collective) kids at all.
The father sounds like a bully, to say the least. His way of handling the situation wasn't constructive, and it appears it was damaging. I would tell the child in your group who was particularly upset that different people handle conflict in different ways, and what does "he" think would be a good way of handling what happened. Let him role play it out with a more positive spin. Ask him how they might prevent making the other child upset with their playing, but if he says they really didn't do anything bad, believe and respect that. As far as the other father coming back, the chances are slim at best I would say. I'd just ignore it unless something happens again. |
Anonymous
|
I think it's mean for a group of kids to make the "new" kid the "bad guy. It would have been nice if one of the parents was within earshot enough to hear what was going on.
The dad handled it terribly. No winners here. |
Anonymous
| Agree with pp. It sounds like your kids were bullying at the top of the slide and that even if they did not touch him, they probably do not understand how scary it can be to face a "mob" if you are the only "bad guy". Agree that the father did not handle it well, but if I felt my kid was being targeted by a group of others, I would be pretty pi$$ed too. |
Anonymous
|
We had something similar happen to our DD at the playground of one of our local national park lodges. Little shits at the top of the play structure terrorizing her when she tried to go up to the slide, saying "Only 5 year olds can come up here," and pushing another little kid as he tried to come up the ladder. OBLIVIOUS red neck parents sat there doing nothing.
Your kids are bullies. |
Anonymous
|
Even "angels" become "bullies" in a mob menality, e.g,. 4 against 1 outsider. You sound like you can't even imagine the possiblity that perhaps your group of kids weren't being so nice.
I do agree the other father handled it horribly...and it taught his son nothing. As a mom--if my kid came over crying I would have calmly and friendly walked over and find out what happened and at the age been a go between. I would not assume anything---one way or another. If it turned out the 4 were being 'mean' and making him the bad guy and butt of bad behavior then I would have explained how that is not nice and perhaps suggest something else to play. I always teach my kids to stand up for themselves and have self-worth and I believe in accountability for bad behavior. |
Anonymous
Are parents of kid bullies red necks? |
Anonymous
Oh---and if the kids were still being sh*ts after this and you still hadn't come over to see what was happening...I would teach my son that those kids were not nice and that is not the way to treat anyone else. |
Anonymous
| Oh God. Can we please stop throwing around the buzzword of the year, aka Bullying? Not everything is bullying, and not every child that has an unkind moment is a bully. |
cuzimawesome
Member Offline
Member Offline
Cuz you were there, right? You actually saw OPs kids being brats. I mean, because how would you know otherwise? That's weird that you were there. Such a coincidence. |
Anonymous
|
Nice of the charming father to swear in front of his kid.
Also the PP. |
Anonymous
| Meant 17:38. |
Anonymous
|
I would have thought, "What a crazy father." Then not thought about it again.
If I was the parent of the child I would have said, "Don't play with them if they are being mean." Then not thought about it again. Not everything needs to be analyzed. |
Anonymous
I agree. But- my kids know I do not tolerate them ganging up on other kids. This is the way my parents raised me and my siblings. If it were my kids and their friends at the top of the slide being mean to one kid they would have heard it from me! The father on the other hand--may have been a wacko or just maybe your kids were worse than you think. I have had this problem at my 5-year old's preschool. There is a group of 6 boys that picks a kid to pick on each day. It is not the same kid always on the outs--but they are relentless. My son came home happy one day because he said 'Nobody was mean to me" and I said "Oh?" and he said "Yeah- they were all being mean to "Joe". I had a long discussion how that is NOT okay. How would he feel if it were him instead of "Joe". I also told him "Joe is one of your friends and you always stick up for your friends". Usually the kids that are the meanest are the ones with the lowest self-worth. I am beginning early to teach my boys that you don't go along with the crowd and be mean to others just to make the crowd like your or to fit in. That is totally unacceptable. |
Anonymous
So if the word bullying is off limits, what do you call it when 5 kids gang up on a littler kid at the playground by himself? |