Forum Index
»
Expectant and Postpartum Moms
Is it inappropriate to have a shower for a 3rd kid?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| Story: Friend, newlywed. had 2 kids from first marraige youngest is about 8. Invited me to a shower for this 3rd kid. I'm guessing the stuff from the first 2 kids is gone but how many showers before you say this is absurd? Or is this ok? |
Anonymous
| Do.what.you.want. to do. |
Anonymous
| Often times it's not the pregnant woman suggesting a shower rather a friend who is just excited. I think if she is registering and pretneding lik it's her first is completely different than if it's just a small brunch honoring the mom. |
Anonymous
| totally registered etc... |
Anonymous
| Why does it matter if she is having a 3rd shower? I honestly don't understand why people think this is so rude. If you think it's rude, politely decline the invitation and move on with your life. Otherwise, what is the harm? A baby is a baby and all should be celebrated. |
Anonymous
| search the archives |
Anonymous
| I'm torn on this one. Was going to tell you to refer to the other active thread on here RE: 2nd shower, but then I got to thinking. I am seven years older than my youngest sibling. I definitely remember my mom's work friends throwing her a shower (this was in the late 80's) for said sibling. I don't think people registered in that day and age, so does that make it better or worse? Her friends wanted to do something nice for her. I remember she got a new stroller and a ton of baby clothes. Nothing crazy like people register for nowadays. |
Anonymous
| I'm sure that all of her baby gear and clothing from the first 2 kids is long gone. If someone wants to throw her a shower to help her with this, why question it? |
sybersus
Member Offline
Member Offline
| I don't understand the aversion to showers for women having their second/third/etc. child. I have been to several such showers and am always happy to attend. But if you don't want to attend, I agree with the PP -- just politely decline, no need to send a gift. |
Anonymous
| Yes, it's inappropriate but you don't have to boycott going just because of that. I wouldn't tell you to suggest throwing it but since that ship has sailed, go and give as long as you're not doing it begrudgingly. And in this situation, I might not mind giving a gift. |
Anonymous
|
I used to be on the showers are only for the first baby train, but sometimes people just want to celebrate and it's not about the gifts.
Now this may upset some people, but I don't care. I don't do showers for unwed mothers. I think your family and friends should buy you what you need privately. |
Anonymous
|
ABSURD. it is a blatant gift grab. (never mind the fact that people don't properly throw showers for themselves.)
although I would say it is fine if it is going to be more like a "no gifts" ladies tea or something, so she can bask in the fun of celebrating the arrival of #3. No gifts though at this party. |
Anonymous
| I don't mind going to these and giving a gift, but I would never dream of throwing one or approving of someone to throw one for me. I actually think all showers are kind of tacky and a mostly socially acceptable way for people to beg for presents. But I do realize they are socially acceptable and have even thrown one for a person or two when I knew it would be the expected thing for me to do. I've actually never had a shower for anything -- baby, wedding, etc. -- but I also think registering for gifts is kind of rude. Maybe it's a cultural thing, since this sort of thing is not done in my culture at all. |
Anonymous
It's gauche and your friend should have told whoever is having the shower that it is inappropriate. |
Anonymous
a baby shower where you register isn't about celebrating a baby, it's about getting everyone you know to buy as much stuff as possible for you so that you don't have to. It's tacky, and you're just looking for things. Spare me the "celebrate baby" nonsense--if that were the case, you'd do it without registering and after the baby is born. |