Families who can afford private but go public, why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a great public school and our kids don’t have any special needs

They’re doing well in school and we’re saving a huge amount of money. We’ll definitely be able to send them to whatever college and grad school they want. Plus probably give them down payment money. Why fix what isn’t broke?

We can do that and private. But, I agree, it’s better to stay public if college savings are impacted.

So can we. We make around 850k and don’t have any debt.

But again, it just seems OTT for what they charge. We have GS 10 schools, kids are doing well, smallish class sizes (under 24) and they have highly involved, educated patents at home. Lots of books, games, limited tv and screens, etc. We take the money we’d spend on that and splurge on travel. We easily spend 60-70k and don’t feel guilty because of where we save in our areas of the budget.

Just seems like a waste of $$$ to us.

would you mind telling us which school this is?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a great public school and our kids don’t have any special needs

They’re doing well in school and we’re saving a huge amount of money. We’ll definitely be able to send them to whatever college and grad school they want. Plus probably give them down payment money. Why fix what isn’t broke?

We can do that and private. But, I agree, it’s better to stay public if college savings are impacted.

So can we. We make around 850k and don’t have any debt.

But again, it just seems OTT for what they charge. We have GS 10 schools, kids are doing well, smallish class sizes (under 24) and they have highly involved, educated patents at home. Lots of books, games, limited tv and screens, etc. We take the money we’d spend on that and splurge on travel. We easily spend 60-70k and don’t feel guilty because of where we save in our areas of the budget.

Just seems like a waste of $$$ to us.

Are your kids in HS yet? That’s when we switched out of our GS 10 school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We bought a house in one of the best school districts for a reason. We have been very happy with DS' education so far. The money we save on sending him to public can be used for other things. DH and I just saw no need to dish out for private when our public is a great option. FWIW DH went to private school and I went to a top rated public.

Either way, you paid for it. You either pay more for a house in “one of the best” school districts or you pay for tuition, or, if you don’t have those options, you send your kid to a school you’d rather not. There’s no free lunch.

DP. It's not that simple. First, in terms of the premium to buy in a better school zone, it is nowhere near the cost of private school, particularly if you are there for many years and/or have multiple kids. Second, you are likely to get that premium back when you ultimately sell your home. That's not the case with tuition. Third, there are many, many people who do both. Most of the top privates are in expensive areas and many people who attend those schools live relatively nearby. Those people are paying for tuition and the expensive real estate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We bought a house in one of the best school districts for a reason. We have been very happy with DS' education so far. The money we save on sending him to public can be used for other things. DH and I just saw no need to dish out for private when our public is a great option. FWIW DH went to private school and I went to a top rated public.

Either way, you paid for it. You either pay more for a house in “one of the best” school districts or you pay for tuition, or, if you don’t have those options, you send your kid to a school you’d rather not. There’s no free lunch.

DP. It's not that simple. First, in terms of the premium to buy in a better school zone, it is nowhere near the cost of private school, particularly if you are there for many years and/or have multiple kids. Second, you are likely to get that premium back when you ultimately sell your home. That's not the case with tuition. Third, there are many, many people who do both. Most of the top privates are in expensive areas and many people who attend those schools live relatively nearby. Those people are paying for tuition and the expensive real estate.

Hey, I’m not saying buying an expensive home in “the best” school district isn’t a good value compared to Winklevoss Country Day or wherever, especially if you have a lot of kids. I’m just saying, there’s an admission price for that too, and it ain’t cheap. Again, no free lunch.

[Anonymous]

Because I am finally after 8 years no longer paying 20-40K a year for daycare and I need a break!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It makes people feel bad that they can’t give their children the best. That’s why they lash out.
Whatever. Most kids are fine in public.

This is the attitude that is repugnant and may be why you experiencing "lashing out"--the idea that there is a universal "best" in these options. And this thread is about people who can afford private but don't choose to, so obviously it's not about the case of whether they can give their kids a private school education, but rather whether they think it's the better option. We came to a view that public is "the best" for us--not on the basis of finances-- but wouldn't impose that view on others.

And some people value education above all else. Some think it’s a waste of money.
Everyone is different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It makes people feel bad that they can’t give their children the best. That’s why they lash out.
Whatever. Most kids are fine in public.

This is the attitude that is repugnant and may be why you experiencing "lashing out"--the idea that there is a universal "best" in these options. And this thread is about people who can afford private but don't choose to, so obviously it's not about the case of whether they can give their kids a private school education, but rather whether they think it's the better option. We came to a view that public is "the best" for us--not on the basis of finances-- but wouldn't impose that view on others.

And some people value education above all else. Some think it’s a waste of money.
Everyone is different.

And some don’t agree that valuing education = private school. Including many of us who went to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It makes people feel bad that they can’t give their children the best. That’s why they lash out.
Whatever. Most kids are fine in public.

This is the attitude that is repugnant and may be why you experiencing "lashing out"--the idea that there is a universal "best" in these options. And this thread is about people who can afford private but don't choose to, so obviously it's not about the case of whether they can give their kids a private school education, but rather whether they think it's the better option. We came to a view that public is "the best" for us--not on the basis of finances-- but wouldn't impose that view on others.

And some people value education above all else. Some think it’s a waste of money.
Everyone is different.

And some don’t agree that valuing education = private school. Including many of us who went to them.

So don’t send your kid to your old school. I suppose you don’t paint everything with the same brush?
Look, I think public school can be great, but let’s not pretend this isn’t about a tit for tat amongst the 1%.
It’s more than a little rich to read posts smugly mentioning their GS10 school zone, and all the travel and enrichment they can provide. Nothing irks those posters more than the neighbors that also bought in the same (or nicer) neighborhood, do all of the travel and enrichment, AND easily throw down another 40k for private school.
Ya gotta spend your money on something. Some people can just spend on everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It makes people feel bad that they can’t give their children the best. That’s why they lash out.
Whatever. Most kids are fine in public.

This is the attitude that is repugnant and may be why you experiencing "lashing out"--the idea that there is a universal "best" in these options. And this thread is about people who can afford private but don't choose to, so obviously it's not about the case of whether they can give their kids a private school education, but rather whether they think it's the better option. We came to a view that public is "the best" for us--not on the basis of finances-- but wouldn't impose that view on others.

And some people value education above all else. Some think it’s a waste of money.
Everyone is different.

And some don’t agree that valuing education = private school. Including many of us who went to them.

So don’t send your kid to your old school. I suppose you don’t paint everything with the same brush?
Look, I think public school can be great, but let’s not pretend this isn’t about a tit for tat amongst the 1%.
It’s more than a little rich to read posts smugly mentioning their GS10 school zone, and all the travel and enrichment they can provide. Nothing irks those posters more than the neighbors that also bought in the same (or nicer) neighborhood, do all of the travel and enrichment, AND easily throw down another 40k for private school.
Ya gotta spend your money on something. Some people can just spend on everything.

DP. This thread is about the people who CAN afford to send them wherever they want, and still choose public. Money is not a variable in this discussion.

[Anonymous]

Some people think public school IS best. They are glad they are giving their children "the best".

[Anonymous]

Basically if you're throwing down 30-40k on private school there's major dissonance reduction to be done. Hence the private evangelizing. This was the case when I was in private school. We were constantly told by my parents and friends' parents how much better off we were. It created some arguments and bad blood between kids in our neighborhood (and by extension parents) for no good reason.

The same is true of public school folks who spend an extra 33% to live in a slightly better school district. Out minimizing dissonance by evangelizing everyone on why their district is soooo much better.

Or, organic farm-to-fork food. We're all dying if we're eating factory farm food.

Some people don't need organic family farms, some people don't need the best public schools, and some people don't need private school.

It's not about income... I drive a very very fast luxury car that was quite expensive because it gets my blood pumping. I have colleagues at work who make the same money and drive toyota camry. I would never think they are below me or made a worse decision. THey simply made the decision that was right for them and/or their family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It makes people feel bad that they can’t give their children the best. That’s why they lash out.
Whatever. Most kids are fine in public.

This is the attitude that is repugnant and may be why you experiencing "lashing out"--the idea that there is a universal "best" in these options. And this thread is about people who can afford private but don't choose to, so obviously it's not about the case of whether they can give their kids a private school education, but rather whether they think it's the better option. We came to a view that public is "the best" for us--not on the basis of finances-- but wouldn't impose that view on others.

And some people value education above all else. Some think it’s a waste of money.
Everyone is different.

And some don’t agree that valuing education = private school. Including many of us who went to them.

So don’t send your kid to your old school. I suppose you don’t paint everything with the same brush?
Look, I think public school can be great, but let’s not pretend this isn’t about a tit for tat amongst the 1%.
It’s more than a little rich to read posts smugly mentioning their GS10 school zone, and all the travel and enrichment they can provide. Nothing irks those posters more than the neighbors that also bought in the same (or nicer) neighborhood, do all of the travel and enrichment, AND easily throw down another 40k for private school.
Ya gotta spend your money on something. Some people can just spend on everything.

DP. This thread is about the people who CAN afford to send them wherever they want, and still choose public. Money is not a variable in this discussion.

Except it is. Upthread a poster is talking about choosing between travel and private. It just seems to never really boil down to being able to easily do it and choosing not.
Those that truly don’t have to make any sort of sacrifice, don’t seem to choose public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It makes people feel bad that they can’t give their children the best. That’s why they lash out.
Whatever. Most kids are fine in public.

This is the attitude that is repugnant and may be why you experiencing "lashing out"--the idea that there is a universal "best" in these options. And this thread is about people who can afford private but don't choose to, so obviously it's not about the case of whether they can give their kids a private school education, but rather whether they think it's the better option. We came to a view that public is "the best" for us--not on the basis of finances-- but wouldn't impose that view on others.

And some people value education above all else. Some think it’s a waste of money.
Everyone is different.

And some don’t agree that valuing education = private school. Including many of us who went to them.

So don’t send your kid to your old school. I suppose you don’t paint everything with the same brush?
Look, I think public school can be great, but let’s not pretend this isn’t about a tit for tat amongst the 1%.
It’s more than a little rich to read posts smugly mentioning their GS10 school zone, and all the travel and enrichment they can provide. Nothing irks those posters more than the neighbors that also bought in the same (or nicer) neighborhood, do all of the travel and enrichment, AND easily throw down another 40k for private school.
Ya gotta spend your money on something. Some people can just spend on everything.

DP. This thread is about the people who CAN afford to send them wherever they want, and still choose public. Money is not a variable in this discussion.

Except it is. Upthread a poster is talking about choosing between travel and private. It just seems to never really boil down to being able to easily do it and choosing not.
Those that truly don’t have to make any sort of sacrifice, don’t seem to choose public.

You can take this to the limit on everything. If there's no tradeoff, then why isn't every single male who sends his kids to private school driving a lambo? Why doesn't every single family in private school have a private chef, butler, full-time groundskeeper? lol! THere is ALWAYS a trade off at some point. Someone couldn't logically choose to not send their kids to private school and still have plenty of money. As for me, my bank accounts just keep growing and growing. What will I do with it? No idea. But I just don't see the value in private school.

[Anonymous]

I am glad that there are some level-headed, thoughtful posts in this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It makes people feel bad that they can’t give their children the best. That’s why they lash out.
Whatever. Most kids are fine in public.

This is the attitude that is repugnant and may be why you experiencing "lashing out"--the idea that there is a universal "best" in these options. And this thread is about people who can afford private but don't choose to, so obviously it's not about the case of whether they can give their kids a private school education, but rather whether they think it's the better option. We came to a view that public is "the best" for us--not on the basis of finances-- but wouldn't impose that view on others.

And some people value education above all else. Some think it’s a waste of money.
Everyone is different.

And some don’t agree that valuing education = private school. Including many of us who went to them.

So don’t send your kid to your old school. I suppose you don’t paint everything with the same brush?
Look, I think public school can be great, but let’s not pretend this isn’t about a tit for tat amongst the 1%.
It’s more than a little rich to read posts smugly mentioning their GS10 school zone, and all the travel and enrichment they can provide. Nothing irks those posters more than the neighbors that also bought in the same (or nicer) neighborhood, do all of the travel and enrichment, AND easily throw down another 40k for private school.
Ya gotta spend your money on something. Some people can just spend on everything.

DP. This thread is about the people who CAN afford to send them wherever they want, and still choose public. Money is not a variable in this discussion.

The answer to it seems to be, “because we can afford the best public school district, and we think it’s superior to any private.” It is about money. No one has said, “we can afford Sidwell but figured, nah, let’s send the kids to a 60% FRL high school.”