Bad, Bizarre, or Baffling Gifts share your stories

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My mother does something similar to this. She keeps getting very babyish board books for my 3yo and to make it worse we already own most of them (e.g., Boynton's The Going to Bed Book, Goodnight Moon, etc.)

Your kid is 3, not 13, and these are books for children. This is such a small thing. Regift them or donate them to families not lucky enough to get duplicates of high-quality children's books.

[Anonymous]

My mother (with whom I have not spoken for over a decade) found a BMW key chain on the sidewalk while walking with my son and told him to hand it it to me upon his return adding "I know she drives a Toyota but I remember that she LOVED this brand as a child".

[Anonymous]

My good friend gave me a sephora 500 point gift set for a gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My good friend gave me a sephora 500 point gift set for a gift.

That's exactly what "splurger" sister would do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom lost about 60 pounds, while I gained 50. For Xmas she wrapped up her old fat pants and gave them to me. My sister in law got beautiful gifts.

I had no problem telling my mom what I thought of her gift and she’s never done that again. She said they were expensive, nice brands. But yeah, no. The next year I got a Marc Jacobs handbag so she has redeemed herself.

OH My God.

[Anonymous]

These are all so funny. I can’t believe any of this is real.

My aunt is always shopping at Tuesday Morning and gives me absolute junk. But nothing compares to these

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My good friend gave me a sephora 500 point gift set for a gift.

Oooomg. Wow.

[Anonymous]

This story is just my family being weird: When my brother was around 11 or 12 my mum got him a playboy puzzle. She later admitted she thought it would be a sexy shot, not a completely naked spread cooter shot (she knew what playboy was but the outside of the box had only her shoulders/neck so she assumed that was all in the photo).

We were aghast/titillated but being rabid puzzle doers (For example, my brother always stole a piece from puzzles others were working on so he could have the satisfaction of completing it by running over with the last piece when you were hunting all over for it). We all worked on it all christmas day on the dining table, eventually hurrying to finish it to set the table.

My grandparents, parents and sisters (we were 10 and 14) completed it but her vulva was missing. We all stared glumly and rather confused until my Scots grandmum shrieked "Bloody hell- where's her twat???"... we began to hunt around looking on chairs, under the table....until my brother pulled it out of his pocket and ran over, saying 'last piece!' We died laughing.

My dh loves this story and to this day will find a time every christmas to shout out "Bloody hell- where's her twat???" usually when he's stuffing a turkey or cornish game hen.

[Anonymous]

Lol!!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My good friend gave me a sephora 500 point gift set for a gift.

The first Christmas with my (now former) SIL she gave me a bunch of little freebies (e.g., orange peeler/starter, cake tester) from Pampered Chef. She was a rep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This story is just my family being weird: When my brother was around 11 or 12 my mum got him a playboy puzzle. She later admitted she thought it would be a sexy shot, not a completely naked spread cooter shot (she knew what playboy was but the outside of the box had only her shoulders/neck so she assumed that was all in the photo).

We were aghast/titillated but being rabid puzzle doers (For example, my brother always stole a piece from puzzles others were working on so he could have the satisfaction of completing it by running over with the last piece when you were hunting all over for it). We all worked on it all christmas day on the dining table, eventually hurrying to finish it to set the table.

My grandparents, parents and sisters (we were 10 and 14) completed it but her vulva was missing. We all stared glumly and rather confused until my Scots grandmum shrieked "Bloody hell- where's her twat???"... we began to hunt around looking on chairs, under the table....until my brother pulled it out of his pocket and ran over, saying 'last piece!' We died laughing.

My dh loves this story and to this day will find a time every christmas to shout out "Bloody hell- where's her twat???" usually when he's stuffing a turkey or cornish game hen.

Can your family adopt me please? You all sound awesome

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At work one year we did secret Santa gifts at our holiday party - the kind where you pick the name of a person out of a hat. This was a smallish/ medium size office that had 3 principles. The socially awkward coworker in the office gave one of the principles a viagra paperweight. It was the most bizarre gift and such a strange choice of a gift for a boss.

I had a former boss give me a Zoloft business card holder as a gift.

We weren't doctors and we have nothing to do with drug reps. But she's like OH I THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE THIS! I MEAN, IT'S FOR ZOLOFT!

[Anonymous]

My FIL is notorious for giving bad gifts. One Christmas he bought DH’s stepbrother a used computer monitor that caught on fire after a few hours. However, the two that top it are from Christmases a few years ago. One Christmas he gave my husband hangers. Not a new pack from to store, but ones he collected over the year from his dry cleaning. The next year, he gave DH the book that we had given him the year before. Not a new copy, but the actual copy of the book we gave him. He has gotten a bit better in recent years, especially with DD, but DH and I still look back on those years with amusement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This story is just my family being weird: When my brother was around 11 or 12 my mum got him a playboy puzzle. She later admitted she thought it would be a sexy shot, not a completely naked spread cooter shot (she knew what playboy was but the outside of the box had only her shoulders/neck so she assumed that was all in the photo).

We were aghast/titillated but being rabid puzzle doers (For example, my brother always stole a piece from puzzles others were working on so he could have the satisfaction of completing it by running over with the last piece when you were hunting all over for it). We all worked on it all christmas day on the dining table, eventually hurrying to finish it to set the table.

My grandparents, parents and sisters (we were 10 and 14) completed it but her vulva was missing. We all stared glumly and rather confused until my Scots grandmum shrieked "Bloody hell- where's her twat???"... we began to hunt around looking on chairs, under the table....until my brother pulled it out of his pocket and ran over, saying 'last piece!' We died laughing.

My dh loves this story and to this day will find a time every christmas to shout out "Bloody hell- where's her twat???" usually when he's stuffing a turkey or cornish game hen.

Can your family adopt me please? You all sound awesome

Me too, please!!!

[Anonymous]

My MIL goes to the hairdresser at least weekly. For gift occasions, she buys me things from their gift area. A lot of it is accessories that are targeted toward older women trying to look hip. Think lots of animal prints and statement bracelets. In her mind my style is like the Mike Myers "Linda Richman" character on SNL, I'm over 60, and and I shop at Chico's, while in reality I'm 40-some and more the classic/preppy type.

Before the hairdresser, there was this older women's clothing shop she went to constantly, similar aesthetic, and all my gifts came from there. My DH agrees they were pretty bad. A couple years ago, he was on the phone with her and she told him that store had closed, and he immediately rushed to tell me the good news. For a couple years I got store gift cards and it was great. But then she found this hairdresser.

What is odd is that supposedly I am the favorite DIL, but she has always given my SILs gift cards to nice stores rather than fake-fur earmuffs and snakeskin-print bags from the hairdresser's. I do appreciate that she puts a lot more thought and effort into my gifts than she does into theirs, and try to see as much humor in it as I can.

She is also someone who grew up in the Depression and she and my FIL literally never threw anything out. They weren't hoarders, but they packed up (with lots of mothballs) and kept lots of things that should have been donated or sold long ago. Now she is in this phase of rooting through the house and unloading random stuff. Every time DH goes over there, he comes back with a pile of read magazines and at least one item she unearthed out of the basement. Old toys, old clothing, cutesy knickknacks from her former gift business, random piles of mismatched dinner plates. A couple of years ago, she gave my tween daughter her old bright green ski overalls from the 1970s and a pair of big wool mittens of the same era, all reeking of mothballs. Another time it was a bag of old Christmas lights. Last week DH came home with this creepy Christmas decoration with a Santa doll riding a bike, which is now in our front hall giving us the willies, but it has to stay there bc she comes here for Xmas. Again, she does not do this to my SILs. Their houses look like Pottery Barn catalogs. Mine looks more and more like a cluttered resale shop.