Bad, Bizarre, or Baffling Gifts share your stories

[Anonymous]

My mom has thinning hair and got very into wearing wigs. For 3 straight years she got is all wigs. It was so bizarre.
We only got out of it because now she just donates to PBS in our name.
Thank goodness!!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:This story is just my family being weird: When my brother was around 11 or 12 my mum got him a playboy puzzle. She later admitted she thought it would be a sexy shot, not a completely naked spread cooter shot (she knew what playboy was but the outside of the box had only her shoulders/neck so she assumed that was all in the photo).

We were aghast/titillated but being rabid puzzle doers (For example, my brother always stole a piece from puzzles others were working on so he could have the satisfaction of completing it by running over with the last piece when you were hunting all over for it). We all worked on it all christmas day on the dining table, eventually hurrying to finish it to set the table.

My grandparents, parents and sisters (we were 10 and 14) completed it but her vulva was missing. We all stared glumly and rather confused until my Scots grandmum shrieked "Bloody hell- where's her twat???"... we began to hunt around looking on chairs, under the table....until my brother pulled it out of his pocket and ran over, saying 'last piece!' We died laughing.

My dh loves this story and to this day will find a time every christmas to shout out "Bloody hell- where's her twat???" usually when he's stuffing a turkey or cornish game hen.

Same, and same.

PP, I love your family!!



Can your family adopt me please? You all sound awesome

Me too, please!!!

Yes, this is a family I want to be part of too! (my parents had what sounds like a similar "Playmates" puzzle in a can, which they stupidly stored in a cupboard in the playroom - they were NOT happy when their elementary-age kids and friends found it and started to assemble it)

I hope you have submitted this story to one of Carolyn Hax's annual Christmas season hootenany chats. If not, submit it next year!!

Nothing will every top this. I clicked on the last page to start reading this thread, and I refuse to go back and read any of the other submissions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This story is just my family being weird: When my brother was around 11 or 12 my mum got him a playboy puzzle. She later admitted she thought it would be a sexy shot, not a completely naked spread cooter shot (she knew what playboy was but the outside of the box had only her shoulders/neck so she assumed that was all in the photo).

We were aghast/titillated but being rabid puzzle doers (For example, my brother always stole a piece from puzzles others were working on so he could have the satisfaction of completing it by running over with the last piece when you were hunting all over for it). We all worked on it all christmas day on the dining table, eventually hurrying to finish it to set the table.

My grandparents, parents and sisters (we were 10 and 14) completed it but her vulva was missing. We all stared glumly and rather confused until my Scots grandmum shrieked "Bloody hell- where's her twat???"... we began to hunt around looking on chairs, under the table....until my brother pulled it out of his pocket and ran over, saying 'last piece!' We died laughing.

My dh loves this story and to this day will find a time every christmas to shout out "Bloody hell- where's her twat???" usually when he's stuffing a turkey or cornish game hen.

Can your family adopt me please? You all sound awesome

Me too, please!!!

Yes, this is a family I want to be part of too! (my parents had what sounds like a similar "Playmates" puzzle in a can, which they stupidly stored in a cupboard in the playroom - they were NOT happy when their elementary-age kids and friends found it and started to assemble it)

I hope you have submitted this story to one of Carolyn Hax's annual Christmas season hootenany chats. If not, submit it next year!!

Nothing will every top this. I clicked on the last page to start reading this thread, and I refuse to go back and read any of the other submissions.

Same, and same.

PP, I love your family!!

[Anonymous]

I’m a nanny. One year the family I worked for at the time got me a huge framed photo of their kids. It was like 2 feet wide, matted and in a frame that was professionally sealed so it’s not even really reusable. I was on my late twenties, sharing a small apartment with a roommate. It was by far the largest decorative item I owned and much bigger than any photo I had of my own family members. It was such a sweet thought and probably pretty expensive but also not at all in keeping with my lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

I have posted about this on other threads. A coworker got me a clearly re-gifted cheap silver frame with 'just the two of us' or some other romantic saying on it. I was recently single and new to the DC area to boot (it was a very small company, so people knew...) I drove it right to goodwill.

[Anonymous]

We have a famous one in our family. My dad is a HUGE guy—6’2”, football, wrestling in high school then went into the military. At no point after age 15 would he have fit in anything smaller than an XL.

When my parents were newlyweds, my maternal grandmother brought them a box of yard sale “finds” for Christmas. The best was a set of bright red long johns—complete with butt flap—in a size large. It would have been a pretty crazy gift even if it had remotely fit. My dad gamely squeezed into them and we still have a photo to prove that they were clearly way too tight/short as well as being inherantly ridiculous. At any rate, grandma took them home with her.

2 years later, grandma apparently forgot and gave them to him again!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My in laws gave me a literal elf costume one year, when they got all of their kids and themselves, and the grandkids, matching christmas pjs. Mine had a hat, and bells, and lit up. I dont even celebrate christmas.

I’d dont celebrate Christmas either, but I’ll take it. That’s effing funny.

[Anonymous]

One Xmas when I was in college my crazy aunt gifted me a pair of edible underwear. The holiday that I brought my new boyfriend with me. I was mortified.

She was also the aunt that gifted me a vibrater the night of my bachelorette party and proceeded to announce it was for those nights when my husband couldn't get it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother in law got me 6 months of nutrisystem. This is not a DCUM brag when I say this but I am thin. I was probably a size 4/6 when she gifted this to me (in 2002, who a 4/6 was pretty thin). I remember thinking "omg what a bitch" and "wow this shit is expensive, this is a really nice gift" at the same time. I did eat the main entree food as my packed lunch for work but the snack food and desserts were really bad.

Size 4/6 is “pretty thin” in 2018 also.

Depends on the brand & also on how tall you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The strangest (or hazardous ) gifts I ever received were from the friend of mine. Food. Lots of expired food.
I never knew that individually wrapped chocolate bites (like Ghirardelly) could be covered in white hue (I could't see the color of the actual choc), hard as wood chips and smell like a stale vegetable oil.
Bottles of juice with artificial ingredients. Liquid separated to almost colorless water and some flaky crap on the bottom of the bottles, butter spread in a yellowed plastic tub - out of unhealthy curiosity I removed a lead and a membrane, and there was this awful smelling green goo inside, ugh.

It has been going on for years and than stopped. Later I learned that she food poisoned neighborhood kids at Halloween, and angry parents confronted her.
She did not give the same whatevers to her own kid. She knew, I am sure she knew what she was doing.
It's great that her own child did not any of her special treats, but feeding someone else's kids garbage is a crappy thing to do.
She began to send me junk from a dollar store and finally I very nicely talked to her about holiday gifts, and we both agreed that we are not kids anymore and a phone call or holiday card will be just fine.
Thank God.

Sounds like she was a dumpster diver...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been with DH for 8 years, married for 5. Since our first Christmas together (and for most birthdays thereafter), MIL has given me some glass orb or orb-adjacent thing (a small spherical oil lamp, once). I absolutely HATE knickknacks, have nothing similar on display, have never once indicated any interest in starting a collection of decorative glass objects. Yet, here we are, 8+ glass orbs later...

My paternal grandmother once gave my mom a hideous orange corduroy outfit from Lane Bryant. My mom was not/is not plus-sized. I think I was 9 or 10 and I still remember what a mean gift that was.

My best friend’s husband gave her a red velvet three piece suit for Christmas about 20 years ago. He thought it was beautiful. We still laugh about it today. Not all bad gifts are meant to be hurtful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve told this story before, but one of my DH’s aunts gave us a humidifier for our wedding. Lame, but practical we thought. Fast forward a couple of years and I have a terrible cold, remember the humidifier and hunt down the box in our basement. I open it up and discover a beautiful crystal serving bowl.

At first I was really disappointed because I was hoping for relief from my congestion. I quickly became mortified when I realized we sent them a thank you note for the humidifier. His aunt must have been amused, but never let on about our mistake. I called her up and we all laughed about it, which probably was better medicine in the end.

Love this...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH’s dad and stepmom have gotten me some pretty interesting gifts over the years.
They lived abroad when we got married so stepmom didn’t attend my bridal shower. The day before the wedding they insisted on presenting me with a bridal shower gift and made a big deal on how DH and I needed to come to their room and open the gift in front of them. It was negligee. I’ve never been so creeped out and embarrassed in my life. Since they lived abroad I had only met them once before and was now opening skimpy negligee in front of my future in-laws. So weird. I thanked them and then returned it post-wedding. No way I could wear something sexy that my FIL had seen and bought!

Why not? That’s weird you couldn’t wear it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My good friend gave me a sephora 500 point gift set for a gift.

What was in it?

I received a great free sample makeup kit, and added it to my DD’s gifts. She loved it.

[Anonymous]

Piano teacher here. One family (multimillion dollar house, always vacationing, vacation houses elsewhere) gave me a sample hand and foot cream— the little ones you pick up at A doctor’s office. It was not from the children because the mom handed the really nice gift bag addressed to me.