Current 8th graders at NCS, applying out for 9th?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To 10:42, I don't think membership at a particular country club divides the classes. I bet the play date was set up so she could ask the parents to write letters of recommendation for the parents in the process of joining, not a sign of future regular playdates for members of a certain club, have never seen that over the years. Also, when the kids go to a club they usually have guests with them and kids who aren't members are sometimes there as much as other kids who are members but don't use it much.

Membership in the club obviously does not divide the class. However, if you have parents in certain grades that only want to socialize with people in the club and in that social class and make an effort to set up play dates and golf outings and what not with only the girls that belong to that club, then that is a problem.

[Anonymous]

Has not been our experience, but I guess each class is different.
Not creepy at all to ask friends to write letters for other friends and to get them together by hosting them along with their children, not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has not been our experience, but I guess each class is different.
Not creepy at all to ask friends to write letters for other friends and to get them together by hosting them along with their children, not a big deal.

Seems odd to forge friendships based on belonging to same club. Yuck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has not been our experience, but I guess each class is different.
Not creepy at all to ask friends to write letters for other friends and to get them together by hosting them along with their children, not a big deal.

If the girls aren't friends and they're being clumped together because they belong to an exclusive country club – that seems odd to me as well and the fact that you think that's normal may be part of the problem…

[Anonymous]

Kids make friends with other kids for a variety of reasons. Meeting at an "exclusive" club because they are on swim team or because their parents are friends at the club is not much different than meeting at a neighborhood pool or becoming friends With kids who attend the same church. I have never been part of a club, but I do not begrudge those who are. Really, it is just another place to meet people who might have common interests (golf, swim team...). If you are not into golf, then you (and probably your kids) are not missing out on anything.

According to this thread, It sounds like a some middle school girls and their parents are unhappy. Sounds like a lot of lower school and upper school kids are very happy. Sounds like some of the unhappy middle school kids left, some unhappy middle schoolers decided the grass was not greener elsewhere and stayed, and a few unhappy middle school girls were not accepted to other schools and remain unhappy. To the last set, I hope they choose to have a better attitude, work in a positive way for changes they want, or leave and attend public. Our daughter will be joining NCS for 9 grade and she is thrilled! We look forward to meeting the girls who chose to stay!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids make friends with other kids for a variety of reasons. Meeting at an "exclusive" club because they are on swim team or because their parents are friends at the club is not much different than meeting at a neighborhood pool or becoming friends With kids who attend the same church. I have never been part of a club, but I do not begrudge those who are. Really, it is just another place to meet people who might have common interests (golf, swim team...). If you are not into golf, then you (and probably your kids) are not missing out on anything.

According to this thread, It sounds like a some middle school girls and their parents are unhappy. Sounds like a lot of lower school and upper school kids are very happy. Sounds like some of the unhappy middle school kids left, some unhappy middle schoolers decided the grass was not greener elsewhere and stayed, and a few unhappy middle school girls were not accepted to other schools and remain unhappy. To the last set, I hope they choose to have a better attitude, work in a positive way for changes they want, or leave and attend public. Our daughter will be joining NCS for 9 grade and she is thrilled! We look forward to meeting the girls who chose to stay!

Thank you for such a rationale and reasonable response. My daughter is currently in the 8th grade at NCS - she has a great group of friends and is really thriving there. We look forward to welcoming your daughter and your family to NCS in the fall!

[Anonymous]

Meant rational ...

[Anonymous]

Parents continuing to control the social environment of their children creates so many unnecessary problems at all schools. Schools could do more to combat it, not just at NCS but Holton, Visi, etc. And certainly at the parish schools.

[Anonymous]

I've heard from.many parents that the way club membership shapes children socializing is a problem at many schools. Perhaps parents who are members simply need to be more mindful of making concerted efforts to be inclusive in this regard? Making sure invitations flown to a wide variety of non member children etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've heard from.many parents that the way club membership shapes children socializing is a problem at many schools. Perhaps parents who are members simply need to be more mindful of making concerted efforts to be inclusive in this regard? Making sure invitations flown to a wide variety of non member children etc.

Agree that it causes problems and sometimes it's the parents intentionally doing it and other times it just happens because they are on the swim team together as mentioned above. The issue with including non member children is that a member would need to pay for everything and coordinate having the guests and it's much easier to just drop off your child and have them meet up with people who might already be there. For the child on the outside it's hard because they can't suggest meeting at the club of course and sometimes it doesn't occur to the kids that they're leaving someone out when there is a readymade group already hanging out at the pool.

It's a reason my daughter changed friend groups at a catholic girls school - too much "meet me at Chevy" planning for her old group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've heard from.many parents that the way club membership shapes children socializing is a problem at many schools. Perhaps parents who are members simply need to be more mindful of making concerted efforts to be inclusive in this regard? Making sure invitations flown to a wide variety of non member children etc.

Agree that it causes problems and sometimes it's the parents intentionally doing it and other times it just happens because they are on the swim team together as mentioned above. The issue with including non member children is that a member would need to pay for everything and coordinate having the guests and it's much easier to just drop off your child and have them meet up with people who might already be there. For the child on the outside it's hard because they can't suggest meeting at the club of course and sometimes it doesn't occur to the kids that they're leaving someone out when there is a readymade group already hanging out at the pool.

It's a reason my daughter changed friend groups at a catholic girls school - too much "meet me at Chevy" planning for her old group.

Interesting post. I have seen this at NCS and STA but only with Chevy parents. Never feel this way or see this behavior with families or kids that belong to Congressional, Kenwood, or Columbia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've heard from.many parents that the way club membership shapes children socializing is a problem at many schools. Perhaps parents who are members simply need to be more mindful of making concerted efforts to be inclusive in this regard? Making sure invitations flown to a wide variety of non member children etc.

Agree that it causes problems and sometimes it's the parents intentionally doing it and other times it just happens because they are on the swim team together as mentioned above. The issue with including non member children is that a member would need to pay for everything and coordinate having the guests and it's much easier to just drop off your child and have them meet up with people who might already be there. For the child on the outside it's hard because they can't suggest meeting at the club of course and sometimes it doesn't occur to the kids that they're leaving someone out when there is a readymade group already hanging out at the pool.

It's a reason my daughter changed friend groups at a catholic girls school - too much "meet me at Chevy" planning for her old group.

Interesting post. I have seen this at NCS and STA but only with Chevy parents. Never feel this way or see this behavior with families or kids that belong to Congressional, Kenwood, or Columbia.

[Anonymous]

It's so disheartening to read all the posts and threads about NCS - We are coming this September and we are so concerned about our DD's experience there since we are out of state and not in the top 50% of HHI of the student body either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's so disheartening to read all the posts and threads about NCS - We are coming this September and we are so concerned about our DD's experience there since we are out of state and not in the top 50% of HHI of the student body either.

We love it! Don't be disheartened. My daughter and all of friends love the school. I was one that posted about noticing the club stuff but honestly that is only a handful of parents.

[Anonymous]

Don't worry, NCS is a great school for a confident girl and I'm sure she'll do well. I think it's really helpful to find an activity she loves. She will find her tribe. Everything does not revolve around clubs here.

-- not an NCS mom