My STBX inherited money in 2004, invested it, and is claiming it is all his

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the H of OP. Went back and since people seem to be curious as to what happened, it has been a most interesting week.

My (now) Ex decided NOT to take the house. Instead she packed up her stuff and moved to be with her lover. We have an agreement in principle, but it needs to be formalized and signed, and it is in my favor.

I buy her out of the house. DD stays with me. I pay her alimony (28% of my gross, or 48K/yr for 10 years. She gets 1/2 the 401K (I could have separated the premarital value and subsequent growth, but it would not be that much). Oh, and she has to pay me child support. (700/mo, so I will pay her 3300 instead of 4K/mo).

The big change was the one condition I put on her living in/getting the house: I did not want her AP to be in the house when DD was present. And, I printed the thread and showed it to my Lawyer. She (my Lawyer) showed it to W's lawyer who then dropped all demands.

We sign the paperwork after thanksgiving.

BTW, DD is horrified by her mother's behavior.

THREE CHEERS FOR H of OP!! You kicked ass!

Because paying someone who cheated on you 28% of your gross income is winning.

No, this sucks, but at least he's done with it. Now he just has to live with watching his money pay for his ex's vacations with man lover.

If you read his old thread he did describe himself as 'emotionally distant'.
Also, your DD is old enough to read this stuff - I'd tone down the gloating

[Anonymous]

Maybe he was "emotionally distant," but she cheated, gave him an STD (which came from the AP), and then tried to accuse *him* of cheating in order to deflect blame, and then cynically tried to take money to which she was not legally entitled.

[Anonymous]

Holy sh*t. I cannot believe this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a successful life and a good portion of money that I will leave to my son. I just printed this thread so I can show him...never get married. I mean, the guy made out better than I thought, but she cheats, wants his money. So typical of the DC woman.

This is exactly why my money from my parents was put in an irrevocable trust (while they were living) and the trust mandated a prenup even though the trust was a premarital asset. You can get married ~ inheritance laws are very, very clear on this. Don't pass your relationship damage along to your kids.

[Anonymous]

Op. Why are you divorcing him. If he is rich some other woman will figure out how to put up with him

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op. Why are you divorcing him. If he is rich some other woman will figure out how to put up with him

Read the thread before you post, idiot.

[Anonymous]

What a creep OP. If I ended up with 4 mil. I would pay off some of our debt at a minimum.

Another alternative is to start banking your money and let him pay the bills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a creep OP. If I ended up with 4 mil. I would pay off some of our debt at a minimum.

Another alternative is to start banking your money and let him pay the bills.

Another idiot who didn't read the thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe inheritances should be shared. DH and I are a team!! We share,

Spoken like someone who has never inherited anything. My spouse and I are happily marrried, and I share my annual distributions but my trust is protected in the event of dovorce. The idea of him cheating on me then assuming that he has the right to the money that my Mom slaved away to amass and protect makes me sick.

NP here - Don't assume that those who want to share have never inherited anything. I shared my inheritance. I handle all of our finances, and I definitely agree with the sentiment that DH and I are a team and we share.

I think that most married people think they are a team and share. However it's just a fact that a large percentage of marriages fail. No way in hell is anyone who cheated on me taking the money that was entrusted to me.

It's the law. Inheritances which are not commingled are separate property, not marital assets. If you left money for your children, would you want the divorced son or daughter-in-law to get half of everything you worked for? They have their own parents to leave them an inheritance, should they be so fortunate.

Is this directed at me (the person you quoted)?

I know it's the law. We agree with one another. And no- I wouldn't want my kids ex taking half of their trusts. That is why the trusts require a pre nup.

So, you decided your child in law will need to sign a prenup? Wow.

I would too. No pre-nup, no inheritance.

[Anonymous]

Why was this old thread revived?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe inheritances should be shared. DH and I are a team!! We share,

Spoken like someone who has never inherited anything. My spouse and I are happily marrried, and I share my annual distributions but my trust is protected in the event of dovorce. The idea of him cheating on me then assuming that he has the right to the money that my Mom slaved away to amass and protect makes me sick.

NP here - Don't assume that those who want to share have never inherited anything. I shared my inheritance. I handle all of our finances, and I definitely agree with the sentiment that DH and I are a team and we share.

I think that most married people think they are a team and share. However it's just a fact that a large percentage of marriages fail. No way in hell is anyone who cheated on me taking the money that was entrusted to me.

It's the law. Inheritances which are not commingled are separate property, not marital assets. If you left money for your children, would you want the divorced son or daughter-in-law to get half of everything you worked for? They have their own parents to leave them an inheritance, should they be so fortunate.

Is this directed at me (the person you quoted)?

I know it's the law. We agree with one another. And no- I wouldn't want my kids ex taking half of their trusts. That is why the trusts require a pre nup.

So, you decided your child in law will need to sign a prenup? Wow.

I would too. No pre-nup, no inheritance.

NP here. If you have a trust, why would one need a pre-nup on top of that? I thought an trust was a good protection in and of itself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe inheritances should be shared. DH and I are a team!! We share,

Spoken like someone who has never inherited anything. My spouse and I are happily marrried, and I share my annual distributions but my trust is protected in the event of dovorce. The idea of him cheating on me then assuming that he has the right to the money that my Mom slaved away to amass and protect makes me sick.

NP here - Don't assume that those who want to share have never inherited anything. I shared my inheritance. I handle all of our finances, and I definitely agree with the sentiment that DH and I are a team and we share.

I think that most married people think they are a team and share. However it's just a fact that a large percentage of marriages fail. No way in hell is anyone who cheated on me taking the money that was entrusted to me.

It's the law. Inheritances which are not commingled are separate property, not marital assets. If you left money for your children, would you want the divorced son or daughter-in-law to get half of everything you worked for? They have their own parents to leave them an inheritance, should they be so fortunate.

Is this directed at me (the person you quoted)?

I know it's the law. We agree with one another. And no- I wouldn't want my kids ex taking half of their trusts. That is why the trusts require a pre nup.

So, you decided your child in law will need to sign a prenup? Wow.

I would too. No pre-nup, no inheritance.

NP here. If you have a trust, why would one need a pre-nup on top of that? I thought an trust was a good protection in and of itself?

PP you're responding to. I don't know. I don't have a trust, I was just saying what I would do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why was this old thread revived?

Because it was noted in this thread:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/15/633277.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe inheritances should be shared. DH and I are a team!! We share,

Spoken like someone who has never inherited anything. My spouse and I are happily marrried, and I share my annual distributions but my trust is protected in the event of dovorce. The idea of him cheating on me then assuming that he has the right to the money that my Mom slaved away to amass and protect makes me sick.

NP here - Don't assume that those who want to share have never inherited anything. I shared my inheritance. I handle all of our finances, and I definitely agree with the sentiment that DH and I are a team and we share.

I think that most married people think they are a team and share. However it's just a fact that a large percentage of marriages fail. No way in hell is anyone who cheated on me taking the money that was entrusted to me.

It's the law. Inheritances which are not commingled are separate property, not marital assets. If you left money for your children, would you want the divorced son or daughter-in-law to get half of everything you worked for? They have their own parents to leave them an inheritance, should they be so fortunate.

Is this directed at me (the person you quoted)?

I know it's the law. We agree with one another. And no- I wouldn't want my kids ex taking half of their trusts. That is why the trusts require a pre nup.

So, you decided your child in law will need to sign a prenup? Wow.

I would too. No pre-nup, no inheritance.

NP here. If you have a trust, why would one need a pre-nup on top of that? I thought an trust was a good protection in and of itself?

PP you're responding to. I don't know. I don't have a trust, I was just saying what I would do.

Oh, haha got it.

I was under the impression that trusts are a better protection, because they are much more iron clad than pre-nups, which can be challenged in court out the wazoo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have been married for 18 years, but I decided I had enough of it.

Everything was going fine until it came to the inheritance. He inherited 60K from his Aunt in 2004, and invested it (in AAPL). He sold it a few years ago and made a huge profit. He says since the money has never been joint, it is treated as his alone.

The amount earned on it was about 4 million, so it is real money.

He is saying I am entitled to 1/2 his 401k, and half the marital assets. However, he agreed to give me the house and pay of the mortgage. That tells me he is trying to buy me off, because he does not want to loose half the 4 million. My lawyer says he is being generous.

FWIW, I wanted to use his inheritance to fix up the kitchen, but he said no -- he said it is for long term security.

No, it's not yours and if it's not comingled you have no claim.
Some peoples attitude is just amazing - my ex included