My STBX inherited money in 2004, invested it, and is claiming it is all his

[Anonymous]

It's not your money. It's not money he earned with you. It's a gift from his dead relatives. You don't get to decide what to do with it. Not even a little bit.

[Anonymous]

Follow the advice of your lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Soon to be x-husband

Above posters are correct. It's his. Take what he's offering and end it. And by the way, make it easy on your kids when they have to split up their holidays to see both of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have been married for 18 years, but I decided I had enough of it.

Everything was going fine until it came to the inheritance. He inherited 60K from his Aunt in 2004, and invested it (in AAPL). He sold it a few years ago and made a huge profit. He says since the money has never been joint, it is treated as his alone.

The amount earned on it was about 4 million, so it is real money.

He is saying I am entitled to 1/2 his 401k, and half the marital assets. However, he agreed to give me the house and pay of the mortgage. That tells me he is trying to buy me off, because he does not want to loose half the 4 million. My lawyer says he is being generous.

FWIW, I wanted to use his inheritance to fix up the kitchen, but he said no -- he said it is for long term security.

I believe that many, MANY things should be joint, but not an inheritance. Sorry. I love my DH, but if we break up, no, he cannot have any of the money my parents worked for 30+ years to earn, and I feel the same way about the money his parents/family earned.

[Anonymous]

Can someone explain why the spouse is entitled to half the 401k?

If I go into the marriage in 1990 with $100,000.
We're married from 1995 - 2005 in which I accrued another $400,000

should I only have to split the $400,000 from which the time we were married?

Also is this with every retirement accounts (including ROTH and SEP) or just 401Ks?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can someone explain why the spouse is entitled to half the 401k?

If I go into the marriage in 1990 with $100,000.
We're married from 1995 - 2005 in which I accrued another $400,000

should I only have to split the $400,000 from which the time we were married?

Also is this with every retirement accounts (including ROTH and SEP) or just 401Ks?

I'm assuming that she didn't work. REtirement assets were only put aside by him, and fall under joint marital property.

This is why I have a prenup.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the feedback. This might be the only time I have seen DCUM unified (unfortunately against my hopes).

I am instructing my lawyer to accept his terms. He will be paying me 60K/yr in alimony for 10 years (I am SAHM), plus another 14 K/yr in child support (for 3 1/2 more years).

It is upsetting that he was always stingy, and now he is buying luxury.

[Anonymous]

Get a job, OP.

[Anonymous]

He's not buying luxury. It's his money which he very wisely invested well. You say you initiated the divorce. What else do you want? 74k per year with no mortgage? Get a JOB and you will be living well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the feedback. This might be the only time I have seen DCUM unified (unfortunately against my hopes).

I am instructing my lawyer to accept his terms. He will be paying me 60K/yr in alimony for 10 years (I am SAHM), plus another 14 K/yr in child support (for 3 1/2 more years).

It is upsetting that he was always stingy, and now he is buying luxury.

Make sure you get an agreement about paying for college tuition. Having such significant assets will likely make it difficult for your child to qualify for financial aid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can someone explain why the spouse is entitled to half the 401k?

If I go into the marriage in 1990 with $100,000.
We're married from 1995 - 2005 in which I accrued another $400,000

should I only have to split the $400,000 from which the time we were married?

Also is this with every retirement accounts (including ROTH and SEP) or just 401Ks?

I'm assuming that she didn't work. REtirement assets were only put aside by him, and fall under joint marital property.

This is why I have a prenup.

It's the assets earned during the marriage, not before for the 401k. Many people negotiate paying from prior earnings to help buy the other spouse out of the house, not liquidate other assets, negotiate on cash alimony payments, etc.

[Anonymous]

Paying you 60k/year for TEN years is stingy? If you got a job yourself in addition, which you should, I'd call that a pretty luxurious income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can someone explain why the spouse is entitled to half the 401k?

If I go into the marriage in 1990 with $100,000.
We're married from 1995 - 2005 in which I accrued another $400,000

should I only have to split the $400,000 from which the time we were married?

Also is this with every retirement accounts (including ROTH and SEP) or just 401Ks?

the 100K is yours, everything earned during 1995-2005 you share.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can someone explain why the spouse is entitled to half the 401k?

If I go into the marriage in 1990 with $100,000.
We're married from 1995 - 2005 in which I accrued another $400,000

should I only have to split the $400,000 from which the time we were married?

Also is this with every retirement accounts (including ROTH and SEP) or just 401Ks?

I'm assuming that she didn't work. REtirement assets were only put aside by him, and fall under joint marital property.

This is why I have a prenup.

It's the assets earned during the marriage, not before for the 401k. Many people negotiate paying from prior earnings to help buy the other spouse out of the house, not liquidate other assets, negotiate on cash alimony payments, etc.

Thanks everyone! That's helpful, disturbing but helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can someone explain why the spouse is entitled to half the 401k?

If I go into the marriage in 1990 with $100,000.
We're married from 1995 - 2005 in which I accrued another $400,000

should I only have to split the $400,000 from which the time we were married?

Also is this with every retirement accounts (including ROTH and SEP) or just 401Ks?

the 100K is yours, everything earned during 1995-2005 you share.

OP here. In our case, he had very little in the 401K when married, something like 30K.