Uncomfortable religious situations you were forced into

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's sad is that all the rest of us with stories got buried under the arguing. This thread had promise and was ruined by bickering.

Yeah, the angry evangelicals got a little bit defensive.

And here you go getting your little swipe in. You're definitely part of the problem.

[Anonymous]

OP, if your mom made plans for you stay with another family, for that block of time you are a <last name of other family> and your mom should have asked if it was OK if you join in whatever they are doing and should have talked to you about going along with that.

They didn't make you promise to join their church. You were a guest.

As adults, it is awkward to have plans as a family (religious or not) and then to have an extra kid and have to come up with customized plan to meet their needs.

[Anonymous]

This is so bizarre. It's basically a thread for non-religious people to bash Christians. Why bother?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is so bizarre. It's basically a thread for non-religious people to bash Christians. Why bother?

Because that's not what it is. It's simply your opinion of what's happening here. please consider that OP is raising a legitimate point that you don't understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so bizarre. It's basically a thread for non-religious people to bash Christians. Why bother?

Because that's not what it is. It's simply your opinion of what's happening here. please consider that OP is raising a legitimate point that you don't understand.

Seriously.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Just checking in to clear up a couple things.
1. My mom had an idea the family was religious, but definitely did not know the extent. But to be quite honest I don't think she would have cared. She often put me in uncomfortable situations so yeah I don't think this would have been an issue for her anyway. It was an issue for me and I was upset that I was given any other choice (like to sit out the service or bible study since I was uncomfortable). I think its a little weird not to even ask if a 14-15 year old is ok attending service with you.
2. I was respectful the whole time to this family.
And I am certainly not bashing Christians. My point was for people to share the own experiences with whatever religion that happened to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Just checking in to clear up a couple things.
1. My mom had an idea the family was religious, but definitely did not know the extent. But to be quite honest I don't think she would have cared. She often put me in uncomfortable situations so yeah I don't think this would have been an issue for her anyway. It was an issue for me and I was upset that I was given any other choice (like to sit out the service or bible study since I was uncomfortable). I think its a little weird not to even ask if a 14-15 year old is ok attending service with you.
2. I was respectful the whole time to this family.
And I am certainly not bashing Christians. My point was for people to share the own experiences with whatever religion that happened to be.

OP, I think it's a little weird that a 14-15 year old that felt uncomfortable did not herself politely ask to sit outside and read a book or something. A 14-15 year old should have that level of maturity in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Just checking in to clear up a couple things.
1. My mom had an idea the family was religious, but definitely did not know the extent. But to be quite honest I don't think she would have cared. She often put me in uncomfortable situations so yeah I don't think this would have been an issue for her anyway. It was an issue for me and I was upset that I was given any other choice (like to sit out the service or bible study since I was uncomfortable). I think its a little weird not to even ask if a 14-15 year old is ok attending service with you.
2. I was respectful the whole time to this family.
And I am certainly not bashing Christians. My point was for people to share the own experiences with whatever religion that happened to be.

OP, I think it's a little weird that a 14-15 year old that felt uncomfortable did not herself politely ask to sit outside and read a book or something. A 14-15 year old should have that level of maturity in my opinion.

Not OP. I think you're in deep denial of the stubborn evangelical in the mirror.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Just checking in to clear up a couple things.
1. My mom had an idea the family was religious, but definitely did not know the extent. But to be quite honest I don't think she would have cared. She often put me in uncomfortable situations so yeah I don't think this would have been an issue for her anyway. It was an issue for me and I was upset that I was given any other choice (like to sit out the service or bible study since I was uncomfortable). I think its a little weird not to even ask if a 14-15 year old is ok attending service with you.
2. I was respectful the whole time to this family.
And I am certainly not bashing Christians. My point was for people to share the own experiences with whatever religion that happened to be.

OP, I think it's a little weird that a 14-15 year old that felt uncomfortable did not herself politely ask to sit outside and read a book or something. A 14-15 year old should have that level of maturity in my opinion.

Not OP. I think you're in deep denial of the stubborn evangelical in the mirror.

I'm the person you're responding to. I'm an atheist. Sorry to disappoint you and mess up your preconceived notions about other people. And I'll stand by what I said. If you have a reasoned response to my post, why don't you try that instead of your lame you-must-be-an-evangelical attempt at an insult?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Just checking in to clear up a couple things.
1. My mom had an idea the family was religious, but definitely did not know the extent. But to be quite honest I don't think she would have cared. She often put me in uncomfortable situations so yeah I don't think this would have been an issue for her anyway. It was an issue for me and I was upset that I was given any other choice (like to sit out the service or bible study since I was uncomfortable). I think its a little weird not to even ask if a 14-15 year old is ok attending service with you.
2. I was respectful the whole time to this family.
And I am certainly not bashing Christians. My point was for people to share the own experiences with whatever religion that happened to be.

OP, I think it's a little weird that a 14-15 year old that felt uncomfortable did not herself politely ask to sit outside and read a book or something. A 14-15 year old should have that level of maturity in my opinion.

OP here. I stated that I told the family I was uncomfortable in my original post. They disregarded my feelings and made me go a second day. I was actually a very mature teenager. I made my feelings clear, very respectfully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Just checking in to clear up a couple things.
1. My mom had an idea the family was religious, but definitely did not know the extent. But to be quite honest I don't think she would have cared. She often put me in uncomfortable situations so yeah I don't think this would have been an issue for her anyway. It was an issue for me and I was upset that I was given any other choice (like to sit out the service or bible study since I was uncomfortable). I think its a little weird not to even ask if a 14-15 year old is ok attending service with you.
2. I was respectful the whole time to this family.
And I am certainly not bashing Christians. My point was for people to share the own experiences with whatever religion that happened to be.

OP, I think it's a little weird that a 14-15 year old that felt uncomfortable did not herself politely ask to sit outside and read a book or something. A 14-15 year old should have that level of maturity in my opinion.

OP here. I stated that I told the family I was uncomfortable in my original post. They disregarded my feelings and made me go a second day. I was actually a very mature teenager. I made my feelings clear, very respectfully.

Did you actually ask to sit outside the Bible study room? Did they actually say NO in response to that request?

Being "uncomfortable" in a cultural situation that is different than your own is normal. Again, I'm an atheist. I'm sick and tired of people from both sides of the fence -- religious and not -- acting like the other side is some weird species whose traditions and thinking they can't possibly respect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Just checking in to clear up a couple things.
1. My mom had an idea the family was religious, but definitely did not know the extent. But to be quite honest I don't think she would have cared. She often put me in uncomfortable situations so yeah I don't think this would have been an issue for her anyway. It was an issue for me and I was upset that I was given any other choice (like to sit out the service or bible study since I was uncomfortable). I think its a little weird not to even ask if a 14-15 year old is ok attending service with you.
2. I was respectful the whole time to this family.
And I am certainly not bashing Christians. My point was for people to share the own experiences with whatever religion that happened to be.

OP, I think it's a little weird that a 14-15 year old that felt uncomfortable did not herself politely ask to sit outside and read a book or something. A 14-15 year old should have that level of maturity in my opinion.

OP here. I stated that I told the family I was uncomfortable in my original post. They disregarded my feelings and made me go a second day. I was actually a very mature teenager. I made my feelings clear, very respectfully.

Did you actually ask to sit outside the Bible study room? Did they actually say NO in response to that request?

Being "uncomfortable" in a cultural situation that is different than your own is normal. Again, I'm an atheist. I'm sick and tired of people from both sides of the fence -- religious and not -- acting like the other side is some weird species whose traditions and thinking they can't possibly respect.

No, I didn't "explicitly" ask them if I could sit out. But my point was that I shouldn't have had to when I made my feelings known but even before that they should have asked me if I was comfortable with it and if I would like to stay home or sit out. If it was just the service it would have been no big deal. It was everything that came after.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Just checking in to clear up a couple things.
1. My mom had an idea the family was religious, but definitely did not know the extent. But to be quite honest I don't think she would have cared. She often put me in uncomfortable situations so yeah I don't think this would have been an issue for her anyway. It was an issue for me and I was upset that I was given any other choice (like to sit out the service or bible study since I was uncomfortable). I think its a little weird not to even ask if a 14-15 year old is ok attending service with you.
2. I was respectful the whole time to this family.
And I am certainly not bashing Christians. My point was for people to share the own experiences with whatever religion that happened to be.

OP, I think it's a little weird that a 14-15 year old that felt uncomfortable did not herself politely ask to sit outside and read a book or something. A 14-15 year old should have that level of maturity in my opinion.

OP here. I stated that I told the family I was uncomfortable in my original post. They disregarded my feelings and made me go a second day. I was actually a very mature teenager. I made my feelings clear, very respectfully.

Did you actually ask to sit outside the Bible study room? Did they actually say NO in response to that request?

Being "uncomfortable" in a cultural situation that is different than your own is normal. Again, I'm an atheist. I'm sick and tired of people from both sides of the fence -- religious and not -- acting like the other side is some weird species whose traditions and thinking they can't possibly respect.

No, I didn't "explicitly" ask them if I could sit out. But my point was that I shouldn't have had to when I made my feelings known but even before that they should have asked me if I was comfortable with it and if I would like to stay home or sit out. If it was just the service it would have been no big deal. It was everything that came after.

OP, I don't know what to tell you. You clearly feel you were wronged and are very attached to this narrative for some reason. I find this "I shouldn't have had to tell them" story very troubling. It's a familiar strain in our messed up divisive society. People expect that other people are like them and can read their minds. When people don't do things as THEY would do them (YOU apparently would have asked your guest whether they would have liked to come with you; THEY preferred to go about their business as normal and brought you along), it's somehow jarring and a wrong.

OP, I'm asking you to reframe this memory in your mind. I would have cherished this experience as an opportunity to observe and to participate in a ritual that is meaningful and, dare I say, interesting to a family whose child I claim to have been friends with. I'm not sure what they were teaching in this church that disturbed you so. I'm pro-choice, for marriage equality, support non-traditional gender roles. But there are lots and lots of people in this country who do not support these things and they are not evil. And they are not going away. I personally think understanding them better -- and the opportunity you had to go to church and bible study with them should have helped you understand them more as people -- would help me, if not persuade them of my views eventually, then just learn more about how to live with them in a productive society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Just checking in to clear up a couple things.
1. My mom had an idea the family was religious, but definitely did not know the extent. But to be quite honest I don't think she would have cared. She often put me in uncomfortable situations so yeah I don't think this would have been an issue for her anyway. It was an issue for me and I was upset that I was given any other choice (like to sit out the service or bible study since I was uncomfortable). I think its a little weird not to even ask if a 14-15 year old is ok attending service with you.
2. I was respectful the whole time to this family.
And I am certainly not bashing Christians. My point was for people to share the own experiences with whatever religion that happened to be.

OP, I think it's a little weird that a 14-15 year old that felt uncomfortable did not herself politely ask to sit outside and read a book or something. A 14-15 year old should have that level of maturity in my opinion.

OP here. I stated that I told the family I was uncomfortable in my original post. They disregarded my feelings and made me go a second day. I was actually a very mature teenager. I made my feelings clear, very respectfully.

Did you actually ask to sit outside the Bible study room? Did they actually say NO in response to that request?

Being "uncomfortable" in a cultural situation that is different than your own is normal. Again, I'm an atheist. I'm sick and tired of people from both sides of the fence -- religious and not -- acting like the other side is some weird species whose traditions and thinking they can't possibly respect.

No, I didn't "explicitly" ask them if I could sit out. But my point was that I shouldn't have had to when I made my feelings known but even before that they should have asked me if I was comfortable with it and if I would like to stay home or sit out. If it was just the service it would have been no big deal. It was everything that came after.

OP, I don't know what to tell you. You clearly feel you were wronged and are very attached to this narrative for some reason. I find this "I shouldn't have had to tell them" story very troubling. It's a familiar strain in our messed up divisive society. People expect that other people are like them and can read their minds. When people don't do things as THEY would do them (YOU apparently would have asked your guest whether they would have liked to come with you; THEY preferred to go about their business as normal and brought you along), it's somehow jarring and a wrong.

OP, I'm asking you to reframe this memory in your mind. I would have cherished this experience as an opportunity to observe and to participate in a ritual that is meaningful and, dare I say, interesting to a family whose child I claim to have been friends with. I'm not sure what they were teaching in this church that disturbed you so. I'm pro-choice, for marriage equality, support non-traditional gender roles. But there are lots and lots of people in this country who do not support these things and they are not evil. And they are not going away. I personally think understanding them better -- and the opportunity you had to go to church and bible study with them should have helped you understand them more as people -- would help me, if not persuade them of my views eventually, then just learn more about how to live with them in a productive society.

I do see what you are saying but I think you are looking at this from an adult perspective. This happened when I was a young teenager. It's not my job as a teenager to "persuade" others of my views if I disagree. Also if you read the previous posts I never once mentioned that this was a "friend" I said it was a family from my soccer team. The other girl and I were aquaintances at best. I do think it might have felt different if she were actually a friend. The whole thing was just uncomfortable. I think it's very valuable to experience other religions and cultures. But I also think those experiences should be experienced on one's own terms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Just checking in to clear up a couple things.
1. My mom had an idea the family was religious, but definitely did not know the extent. But to be quite honest I don't think she would have cared. She often put me in uncomfortable situations so yeah I don't think this would have been an issue for her anyway. It was an issue for me and I was upset that I was given any other choice (like to sit out the service or bible study since I was uncomfortable). I think its a little weird not to even ask if a 14-15 year old is ok attending service with you.
2. I was respectful the whole time to this family.
And I am certainly not bashing Christians. My point was for people to share the own experiences with whatever religion that happened to be.

OP, I think it's a little weird that a 14-15 year old that felt uncomfortable did not herself politely ask to sit outside and read a book or something. A 14-15 year old should have that level of maturity in my opinion.

OP here. I stated that I told the family I was uncomfortable in my original post. They disregarded my feelings and made me go a second day. I was actually a very mature teenager. I made my feelings clear, very respectfully.

Did you actually ask to sit outside the Bible study room? Did they actually say NO in response to that request?

Being "uncomfortable" in a cultural situation that is different than your own is normal. Again, I'm an atheist. I'm sick and tired of people from both sides of the fence -- religious and not -- acting like the other side is some weird species whose traditions and thinking they can't possibly respect.

No, I didn't "explicitly" ask them if I could sit out. But my point was that I shouldn't have had to when I made my feelings known but even before that they should have asked me if I was comfortable with it and if I would like to stay home or sit out. If it was just the service it would have been no big deal. It was everything that came after.

OP, I don't know what to tell you. You clearly feel you were wronged and are very attached to this narrative for some reason. I find this "I shouldn't have had to tell them" story very troubling. It's a familiar strain in our messed up divisive society. People expect that other people are like them and can read their minds. When people don't do things as THEY would do them (YOU apparently would have asked your guest whether they would have liked to come with you; THEY preferred to go about their business as normal and brought you along), it's somehow jarring and a wrong.

OP, I'm asking you to reframe this memory in your mind. I would have cherished this experience as an opportunity to observe and to participate in a ritual that is meaningful and, dare I say, interesting to a family whose child I claim to have been friends with. I'm not sure what they were teaching in this church that disturbed you so. I'm pro-choice, for marriage equality, support non-traditional gender roles. But there are lots and lots of people in this country who do not support these things and they are not evil. And they are not going away. I personally think understanding them better -- and the opportunity you had to go to church and bible study with them should have helped you understand them more as people -- would help me, if not persuade them of my views eventually, then just learn more about how to live with them in a productive society.

I do see what you are saying but I think you are looking at this from an adult perspective. This happened when I was a young teenager. It's not my job as a teenager to "persuade" others of my views if I disagree. Also if you read the previous posts I never once mentioned that this was a "friend" I said it was a family from my soccer team. The other girl and I were aquaintances at best. I do think it might have felt different if she were actually a friend. The whole thing was just uncomfortable. I think it's very valuable to experience other religions and cultures. But I also think those experiences should be experienced on one's own terms.

Well, you're an adult now so reframe and see the bright side. You don't have to continue thinking about an experience the same way you thought about it at 14. I often reflect on experiences that were challenging to me at the time and learn a lot as an adult. Try it. You also implied she was a friend by your OP's musing about how you would never do the same thing to your child's friend. Frankly, I'm thinking even better of this family that "forced" you into church -- they were hosting a person who didn't even consider herself a "friend" of their daughter.