HS Party with Alcohol... Death

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Sweet Jesus. How old are your kids? Because my son is 17. He has a job. He drives himself to sports- for example Legion baseball doesn't have buses, kids carpool and travel together, sometimes up to an hour away. He takes his girlfriend out on dates. He's going shopping today to buy her an gift- kinda tough when both parents work.

Listen- my kid is moving out of our house in about 14 months. If you honestly think you can foster independence by keeping him in bubble wrap until he's 18, I will strongly disagree. Driving a car has very little to do with being the "cool kid".

Does fostering independence require a driver's license? You can't have an independent kid unless the kid has a driver's license and access to a car?

I think it adds to it. Are you seriously going to drive your kid to and from a job? Drive him on dates? Take him to his friends' houses?

How old are your kids and when did YOU start driving? I'm genuinely curious.

Not the PP you're responding to but NO, i won't, because we bought in the city where he can get his own ass to school, friends houses, dates, etc without ever needing to get behind the wheel. My kids' safety and independence was more important to us than 5 bedrooms and a big yard.

But I live in an area with no public transportation. It is literally impossible to get to a job, go on a date, or go to friends' houses without walking, riding a bike, or driving a car. And driving a car is safer than riding a bike 10 miles on a county road to a friends house on Saturday night.

Here's a newsflash- not everybody lives the life YOU live.

You failed to answer part of my question- how old are your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Your kid is one in a thousand if he hasn't already "experienced" alcohol. Kudos to you! If he's really made it this far, I doubt he'll have a problem in college... just as long as you're not getting duped here.

One in a thousand? You're exaggerating the stats. It is generally reported that between 20-40% of high school kids drink alcohol. That means that 60-80% don't drink. My son is top 5 in his class and very focused on athletics and his health. His friends are generally the same. My wife is a teacher. We are friends with several teachers in the school. We communicate with his friends parents. And we live in a small town/small school so kids aren't lost in a mass of students.

I'm well aware that he may have drank, I just feel confident that he's making good choices. And he has earned a lot of trust from us over the last few years. He's not perfect. We're not perfect. But I wonder why you don't trust your kids at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The goal is to get them to stop, or never start. Jail doesn't always do that. But if they have an intractable problem, sometimes jail is the only way to keep others safe.

The goal should be to raise them right to obey
(yes, I actually said the dirty word)
OBEY their parents.
This needs to start early.

If your kid doesn't obey you,
why in the hell are you giving him car keys??

Personally, I'm not into making my kid obedient. I'm into making him think and act smart.

100% with you on that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Your kid is one in a thousand if he hasn't already "experienced" alcohol. Kudos to you! If he's really made it this far, I doubt he'll have a problem in college... just as long as you're not getting duped here.

One in a thousand? You're exaggerating the stats. It is generally reported that between 20-40% of high school kids drink alcohol. That means that 60-80% don't drink. My son is top 5 in his class and very focused on athletics and his health. His friends are generally the same. My wife is a teacher. We are friends with several teachers in the school. We communicate with his friends parents. And we live in a small town/small school so kids aren't lost in a mass of students.

I'm well aware that he may have drank, I just feel confident that he's making good choices. And he has earned a lot of trust from us over the last few years. He's not perfect. We're not perfect. But I wonder why you don't trust your kids at all.

I thought that about my teen, then I found the pot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The goal is to get them to stop, or never start. Jail doesn't always do that. But if they have an intractable problem, sometimes jail is the only way to keep others safe.

The goal should be to raise them right to obey
(yes, I actually said the dirty word)
OBEY their parents.
This needs to start early.

If your kid doesn't obey you,
why in the hell are you giving him car keys??

This is the worst view of parenting I have ever read. Really bad.

Yes, just let him bum a ride from every kid that does drive. Personally, I trust my kid driving himself far more than I trust other kids driving him around.

[Anonymous]

http://www.sadd.org/stats.htm

The stat is 70% drank underage, 30% in the last month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Sweet Jesus. How old are your kids? Because my son is 17. He has a job. He drives himself to sports- for example Legion baseball doesn't have buses, kids carpool and travel together, sometimes up to an hour away. He takes his girlfriend out on dates. He's going shopping today to buy her an gift- kinda tough when both parents work.

Listen- my kid is moving out of our house in about 14 months. If you honestly think you can foster independence by keeping him in bubble wrap until he's 18, I will strongly disagree. Driving a car has very little to do with being the "cool kid".

Does fostering independence require a driver's license? You can't have an independent kid unless the kid has a driver's license and access to a car?

I think it adds to it. Are you seriously going to drive your kid to and from a job? Drive him on dates? Take him to his friends' houses?

How old are your kids and when did YOU start driving? I'm genuinely curious.

Not the PP you're responding to but NO, i won't, because we bought in the city where he can get his own ass to school, friends houses, dates, etc without ever needing to get behind the wheel. My kids' safety and independence was more important to us than 5 bedrooms and a big yard.

But I live in an area with no public transportation. It is literally impossible to get to a job, go on a date, or go to friends' houses without walking, riding a bike, or driving a car. And driving a car is safer than riding a bike 10 miles on a county road to a friends house on Saturday night.

Here's a newsflash- not everybody lives the life YOU live.

You failed to answer part of my question- how old are your kids?

Too bad you chose a big house and yard over your kids safety, guess you don't love them as much as I love mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My kid is 12. I started driving when I was 21 and bought a car. Before then, I got around on foot, on a bike, on the bus, and in other people's cars. My niece is about to turn 18, she doesn't have a driver's license, and she gets around on a bike, on the bus, and on the Metro, as well as being driven by her parents.

Just over half of teenagers have a driver's license at 18 these days, compared to two-thirds 20 years ago.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/trafficandcommuting/fewer-teens-get-drivers-licenses/2013/07/31/60a32aae-f9c7-11e2-a369-d1954abcb7e3_story.html

Exactly. The smarter kids are successfully building their lives WITHOUT a car.

I'm the PP you're responding to. I didn't say anything about "smarter" kids. Kids who are able to get around without a car, do. Kids who aren't, don't.

The "smarter kids" are indeed just my opinion.
Now, that's *real* independence! Again, my opinion.

Your argument is going off the rails here. Only people in dense urban environs with public transit options will ever gain *real* independence? That seems very narrow to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Sweet Jesus. How old are your kids? Because my son is 17. He has a job. He drives himself to sports- for example Legion baseball doesn't have buses, kids carpool and travel together, sometimes up to an hour away. He takes his girlfriend out on dates. He's going shopping today to buy her an gift- kinda tough when both parents work.

Listen- my kid is moving out of our house in about 14 months. If you honestly think you can foster independence by keeping him in bubble wrap until he's 18, I will strongly disagree. Driving a car has very little to do with being the "cool kid".

Does fostering independence require a driver's license? You can't have an independent kid unless the kid has a driver's license and access to a car?

I think it adds to it. Are you seriously going to drive your kid to and from a job? Drive him on dates? Take him to his friends' houses?

How old are your kids and when did YOU start driving? I'm genuinely curious.

Not the PP you're responding to but NO, i won't, because we bought in the city where he can get his own ass to school, friends houses, dates, etc without ever needing to get behind the wheel. My kids' safety and independence was more important to us than 5 bedrooms and a big yard.

But I live in an area with no public transportation. It is literally impossible to get to a job, go on a date, or go to friends' houses without walking, riding a bike, or driving a car. And driving a car is safer than riding a bike 10 miles on a county road to a friends house on Saturday night.

Here's a newsflash- not everybody lives the life YOU live.

You failed to answer part of my question- how old are your kids?

Too bad you chose a big house and yard over your kids safety, guess you don't love them as much as I love mine.

So kids who drive cars are unloved and dumb. How exactly does this further the discussion of teens driving to drinking parties and the car accidents that follow?

[Anonymous]

I say 95% of high students aren't prepared for the responsibility of getting behind the wheel of a car.

But just how do you *make* responsible for the task?

[Anonymous]

I'm from the Midwest so I got my DL really young - age 14 (the law exists to accommodate farm kids that need to drive farm equipment).

By 16, I was an incredibly reckless driver. I stayed that way until at least 25. My problem wasn't drinking and driving, but speed. Teens feel invincible.

It is possible that this tragedy could have occurred even without alcohol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I say 95% of high students aren't prepared for the responsibility of getting behind the wheel of a car.

But just how do you *make* responsible for the task?

*make THEM...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say 95% of high students aren't prepared for the responsibility of getting behind the wheel of a car.

But just how do you *make* responsible for the task?

*make THEM...

My above statement rings even more true after 13:53's comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say 95% of high students aren't prepared for the responsibility of getting behind the wheel of a car.

But just how do you *make* responsible for the task?

*make THEM...

My above statement rings even more true after 13:53's comment.

Know your kid. Adjust accordingly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I say 95% of high students aren't prepared for the responsibility of getting behind the wheel of a car.

But just how do you *make* responsible for the task?

How about a minimum age of 18, a mandatory public 50-hour driver's education course, and a paper test and a road test with high failure rates? Also I think that, to pass the road test, you should have to be able to drive a car with a manual transmission and you should be able to parallel park without power steering.

http://www.army.mil/article/71233/New_drivers_ed_program_in_Germany_gives_students__parents_options/