Upper class habits?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They do talk about money. Just not how much they have, but will speculate about others' situations or how someone lost it all in the tech bubble. (No schedenfruade, however.) They believe in budgets and will inculcate their children into that. Very important not to dip into capital. Thrift is a very common attribute.

Do not like talk of personal medical problems except with the very closest family, which often does not include in laws. Ok of course to talk about the ebola epidemic.

Religion is discussed but not in the sense of what you or they believe, more at the periphery, and they are often on a first name basis with their priest (skip the "Father" part.)

In the UK they swear like longshoremen, but that doesn't seem to be the US way.

For God's sake, don't spend your principal!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They do talk about money. Just not how much they have, but will speculate about others' situations or how someone lost it all in the tech bubble. (No schedenfruade, however.) They believe in budgets and will inculcate their children into that. Very important not to dip into capital. Thrift is a very common attribute.

Do not like talk of personal medical problems except with the very closest family, which often does not include in laws. Ok of course to talk about the ebola epidemic.

Religion is discussed but not in the sense of what you or they believe, more at the periphery, and they are often on a first name basis with their priest (skip the "Father" part.)

In the UK they swear like longshoremen, but that doesn't seem to be the US way.

For God's sake, don't spend your principal!

And some second cousin or great aunt is a Buddhist. While the rest are Episcopalian or Quaker, maybe lapsed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Several generations attend the same boarding schools. College buildings or libraries named after some great great grandparent. Summer place off the coast of Maine, on the Vineyard, or on the Cape, that's been in the family for generations. Knows what a first cousin once removed is. Social register. Green Book. Wedding announcement ( or maybe just parents and grandparents wedding announcements) in the New York Times. Foreign travel - especially Europe. Foreign languages. Emphasis on education and the arts. Fondness for alcohol. Mental illness or eccentricity in the extended family. Certain club and board memberships. Field hockey. Lacrosse. Squash. Tennis. Skiing. Golf. Sailing. Crew. Horses. Ice hockey. Good table manners. Stiff upper lip. High expectations. Quiet confidence. security. May very well wear old clothes and drive old cars and wear little jewelry. Little conspicuous consumption. Treat others with respect. Grace.

Nailed it.

Yes, I'd agree with this too.

Being gracious is huge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They do talk about money. Just not how much they have, but will speculate about others' situations or how someone lost it all in the tech bubble. (No schedenfruade, however.) They believe in budgets and will inculcate their children into that. Very important not to dip into capital. Thrift is a very common attribute.

Do not like talk of personal medical problems except with the very closest family, which often does not include in laws. Ok of course to talk about the ebola epidemic.

Religion is discussed but not in the sense of what you or they believe, more at the periphery, and they are often on a first name basis with their priest (skip the "Father" part.)

In the UK they swear like longshoremen, but that doesn't seem to be the US way.

HUGE class distinction to not talk about health and health problems. Can't stand hearing about others', either, unless you are dying - literally, on your death bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The people I know who are really ridiculously rich make a big deal over small things (eg kids costumes in a play) and trivialize big deals (million dollar renovations of their home).

I have noticed the opposite. But money is never discussed. They don't care about your financial situation, and you better not try to count their pennies, because you will be way off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Several generations attend the same boarding schools. College buildings or libraries named after some great great grandparent. Summer place off the coast of Maine, on the Vineyard, or on the Cape, that's been in the family for generations. Knows what a first cousin once removed is. Social register. Green Book. Wedding announcement ( or maybe just parents and grandparents wedding announcements) in the New York Times. Foreign travel - especially Europe. Foreign languages. Emphasis on education and the arts. Fondness for alcohol. Mental illness or eccentricity in the extended family. Certain club and board memberships. Field hockey. Lacrosse. Squash. Tennis. Skiing. Golf. Sailing. Crew. Horses. Ice hockey. Good table manners. Stiff upper lip. High expectations. Quiet confidence. security. May very well wear old clothes and drive old cars and wear little jewelry. Little conspicuous consumption. Treat others with respect. Grace.

Nailed it.

+10000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They do talk about money. Just not how much they have, but will speculate about others' situations or how someone lost it all in the tech bubble. (No schedenfruade, however.) They believe in budgets and will inculcate their children into that. Very important not to dip into capital. Thrift is a very common attribute.

Do not like talk of personal medical problems except with the very closest family, which often does not include in laws. Ok of course to talk about the ebola epidemic.

Religion is discussed but not in the sense of what you or they believe, more at the periphery, and they are often on a first name basis with their priest (skip the "Father" part.)

In the UK they swear like longshoremen, but that doesn't seem to be the US way.

HUGE class distinction to not talk about health and health problems. Can't stand hearing about others', either, unless you are dying - literally, on your death bed.

Hah! Never thought of it that way. My parents absolutely never complain about their health and always tell me about problems after the fact. I sort of joke that one day my dad will tell me my mom had cancer, after she dies.
MIL, on the other hand, gets a cold and can talk about nothing but. And don't even get her started on her knees/reflux/arthritis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They do talk about money. Just not how much they have, but will speculate about others' situations or how someone lost it all in the tech bubble. (No schedenfruade, however.) They believe in budgets and will inculcate their children into that. Very important not to dip into capital. Thrift is a very common attribute.

Do not like talk of personal medical problems except with the very closest family, which often does not include in laws. Ok of course to talk about the ebola epidemic.

Religion is discussed but not in the sense of what you or they believe, more at the periphery, and they are often on a first name basis with their priest (skip the "Father" part.)

In the UK they swear like longshoremen, but that doesn't seem to be the US way.

HUGE class distinction to not talk about health and health problems. Can't stand hearing about others', either, unless you are dying - literally, on your death bed.

Hah! Never thought of it that way. My parents absolutely never complain about their health and always tell me about problems after the fact. I sort of joke that one day my dad will tell me my mom had cancer, after she dies.

I must know why this is? Why do you suppose the very wealthy don't discuss health issues?
MIL, on the other hand, gets a cold and can talk about nothing but. And don't even get her started on her knees/reflux/arthritis.

[Anonymous]

Whoops. To PPs, why is this? Why don't the very wealthy complain about health issues? I personally can't stand the over sharing and complaining that I hear. Ha! Perhaps this could be attributed to my class!

Truly and genuinely interested in the reasons.

[Anonymous]

Being cheap. Some of the wealthiest people I've known are annoyingly cheap in social situations; less likely to be generous tippers, always looking to save a buck/DIY projects, unlikely to give lavish gifts.

Also, there's always an obvious black sheep in the family; one relative you don't hear much about or maybe even see. Typically this family member is explained as "living alone and doing well and quietly persuing his/her hobby."

Paul McCartney's stepdaughter is one. My SIL has a sibling like this and I had a cousin who lived in a sprawling country home where he worked on "his art." He was jobless drunk who sometimes sketched portraits.

[Anonymous]

Having a secret second family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Several generations attend the same boarding schools. College buildings or libraries named after some great great grandparent. Summer place off the coast of Maine, on the Vineyard, or on the Cape, that's been in the family for generations. Knows what a first cousin once removed is. Social register. Green Book. Wedding announcement ( or maybe just parents and grandparents wedding announcements) in the New York Times. Foreign travel - especially Europe. Foreign languages. Emphasis on education and the arts. Fondness for alcohol. Mental illness or eccentricity in the extended family. Certain club and board memberships. Field hockey. Lacrosse. Squash. Tennis. Skiing. Golf. Sailing. Crew. Horses. Ice hockey. Good table manners. Stiff upper lip. High expectations. Quiet confidence. security. May very well wear old clothes and drive old cars and wear little jewelry. Little conspicuous consumption. Treat others with respect. Grace.

Nailed it.

+ keep their cool no matter what. A calm reserved slightly upbeat persona.

[Anonymous]

Saying "excuse me" or "pardon me," never the ultra-trashy "excuse you" phrase pretty much most of DC thinks is acceptable, as long as you are mumbling and not making eye contact.

[Anonymous]

Truly and genuinely interested in the reasons

Re: discussing health issues

A much more highly developed public persona vs a private persona (in touch w/emotions) Hard to show or dislike showing vulnerability.

[Anonymous]

Read a book called "Cheerful.Money-the dying days of wasp splendor". Its funny, a little.poignant and describes about half of moneyed Washington on up to coast to Maine.