Do you think that its rude for neither parent to stay home to hand out candy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate the overused snowflake put down, but come on, PP, this is especially bad. You are the one who is arguing for a situation that requires effort from others so that your child can have the perfect night. The other side is saying that we should all contribute so that everyone can benefit.

And not that it matters, but my husband doesn't make it home for dinner either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think rude is the word. But it is definitely self-centered. Parents count on each other to make Halloween fun for the kids. A lot of parents don't take kids to houses of people they don't know so if other parents don't stay home, Halloween doesn't work.

What is self-centered is expecting that every house will have someone home to cater to your child's candy needs. So, how do you explain why you won't go knock on the door of an elderly lady versus another family's door? You expect that every house regardless of who lives there will be open to trick or treating? Your child can learn that people have other commitments and not to expect that every house is going to be available for them to get candy from. My husband and I rarely get to do things together with my son in the evenings because of our busy schedules. So, I'm supposed to explain to my son that we both won't go out trick or treating with him because one of us needs to stay home to give a snicker's bar to your kid? Come on...

Um, not that unreasonable. Plenty of us parents of 3-year old split the duties. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that *most* of us actually do, at least in neighborhoods where we know one another and don't want to be the assholes.

How many days a week do you get to have dinner together as a family? Spend time together in the evenings as a family? My husband doesn't walk in the door from work until 8pm. So, zero days a week for us. Special "kid" occasions like Halloween are the rare evening times that my son looks forward to us both being there with him. We plan it and it is important family time for us. We split a lot of duties. I'm not splitting up our family time for the sake of your snowflake.

Well hopefully your nieghbors don't feel the same way otherwise you, DH, and your snowflake will have no where to go trick or treat. Most families split up the duties to enable trick or treating to take place otherwise it would be a nieghborhood of darkened homes.

[Anonymous]

The biggest factor here is where you live. I'd say only about a fourth of the families in our neighborhood have small kids, so there are plenty of single folks/empty nesters/ parents with teens who can stay home to distribute candy. It's a given in our neighborhood that the families with small kids are out trick-or-treating and not home giving out candy. It works well for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The biggest factor here is where you live. I'd say only about a fourth of the families in our neighborhood have small kids, so there are plenty of single folks/empty nesters/ parents with teens who can stay home to distribute candy. It's a given in our neighborhood that the families with small kids are out trick-or-treating and not home giving out candy. It works well for us.

The most overused statement on DCUM (alternatives include "It works for our family.") Meaning: We don't care that it's rude, we do it anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think rude is the word. But it is definitely self-centered. Parents count on each other to make Halloween fun for the kids. A lot of parents don't take kids to houses of people they don't know so if other parents don't stay home, Halloween doesn't work.

What is self-centered is expecting that every house will have someone home to cater to your child's candy needs. So, how do you explain why you won't go knock on the door of an elderly lady versus another family's door? You expect that every house regardless of who lives there will be open to trick or treating? Your child can learn that people have other commitments and not to expect that every house is going to be available for them to get candy from. My husband and I rarely get to do things together with my son in the evenings because of our busy schedules. So, I'm supposed to explain to my son that we both won't go out trick or treating with him because one of us needs to stay home to give a snicker's bar to your kid? Come on...

Um, not that unreasonable. Plenty of us parents of 3-year old split the duties. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that *most* of us actually do, at least in neighborhoods where we know one another and don't want to be the assholes.

How many days a week do you get to have dinner together as a family? Spend time together in the evenings as a family? My husband doesn't walk in the door from work until 8pm. So, zero days a week for us. Special "kid" occasions like Halloween are the rare evening times that my son looks forward to us both being there with him. We plan it and it is important family time for us. We split a lot of duties. I'm not splitting up our family time for the sake of your snowflake.

Well hopefully your nieghbors don't feel the same way otherwise you, DH, and your snowflake will have no where to go trick or treat. Most families split up the duties to enable trick or treating to take place otherwise it would be a nieghborhood of darkened homes.

NP here. What kind of neighborhoods do you all live in?? I live in AU Park, and while there are many children, not everyone's kids are the same age. There are also plenty of empty nesters. My kid is still too small to trick or treat (so I'm only handing out candy now, not collecting any), but when the time comes, I'm pretty sure we'll go together, at least the first couple of years. All these types of comments are predicated on the idea that everyone in the neighborhood has kids around the same age, and I don't see that in my neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Agree pp. not every home has two kids under five. Enough with the dramatic picture you're painting here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think rude is the word. But it is definitely self-centered. Parents count on each other to make Halloween fun for the kids. A lot of parents don't take kids to houses of people they don't know so if other parents don't stay home, Halloween doesn't work.

What is self-centered is expecting that every house will have someone home to cater to your child's candy needs. So, how do you explain why you won't go knock on the door of an elderly lady versus another family's door? You expect that every house regardless of who lives there will be open to trick or treating? Your child can learn that people have other commitments and not to expect that every house is going to be available for them to get candy from. My husband and I rarely get to do things together with my son in the evenings because of our busy schedules. So, I'm supposed to explain to my son that we both won't go out trick or treating with him because one of us needs to stay home to give a snicker's bar to your kid? Come on...

Um, not that unreasonable. Plenty of us parents of 3-year old split the duties. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that *most* of us actually do, at least in neighborhoods where we know one another and don't want to be the assholes.

How many days a week do you get to have dinner together as a family? Spend time together in the evenings as a family? My husband doesn't walk in the door from work until 8pm. So, zero days a week for us. Special "kid" occasions like Halloween are the rare evening times that my son looks forward to us both being there with him. We plan it and it is important family time for us. We split a lot of duties. I'm not splitting up our family time for the sake of your snowflake.

Well hopefully your nieghbors don't feel the same way otherwise you, DH, and your snowflake will have no where to go trick or treat. Most families split up the duties to enable trick or treating to take place otherwise it would be a nieghborhood of darkened homes.

+1000 and my DH never makes it home for dinner. We eat together about one night a week, on the weekends. So don't come crying to me about never having dinner together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The biggest factor here is where you live. I'd say only about a fourth of the families in our neighborhood have small kids, so there are plenty of single folks/empty nesters/ parents with teens who can stay home to distribute candy. It's a given in our neighborhood that the families with small kids are out trick-or-treating and not home giving out candy. It works well for us.

The most overused statement on DCUM (alternatives include "It works for our family.") Meaning: We don't care that it's rude, we do it anyway.

+1

[Anonymous]

Lol at the jackasses bitching at OP. No one gives a shit about staying home if they don't want to you broads.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The biggest factor here is where you live. I'd say only about a fourth of the families in our neighborhood have small kids, so there are plenty of single folks/empty nesters/ parents with teens who can stay home to distribute candy. It's a given in our neighborhood that the families with small kids are out trick-or-treating and not home giving out candy. It works well for us.

The most overused statement on DCUM (alternatives include "It works for our family.") Meaning: We don't care that it's rude, we do it anyway.

+1

OK, so you really feel that it is critical for EVERY SINGLE HOUSE on a block to be giving out candy? That it is terrible if your kid has to skip every 4th house?

When I say it works for "us" I mean that this is the way our neighborhood has operated for as long as we lived here, including the years when we had no kids. It just balances out and there has never been an issue with Halloween being "ruined" for kids because *gasp* they don't get candy at every house on the block.

[Anonymous]

People are craaaaaaaaaaaaazy.

If your neighbors are going to be mad that your house is dark for an hour, you live in a mean neighborhood. Move somewhere normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think rude is the word. But it is definitely self-centered. Parents count on each other to make Halloween fun for the kids. A lot of parents don't take kids to houses of people they don't know so if other parents don't stay home, Halloween doesn't work.

What is self-centered is expecting that every house will have someone home to cater to your child's candy needs. So, how do you explain why you won't go knock on the door of an elderly lady versus another family's door? You expect that every house regardless of who lives there will be open to trick or treating? Your child can learn that people have other commitments and not to expect that every house is going to be available for them to get candy from. My husband and I rarely get to do things together with my son in the evenings because of our busy schedules. So, I'm supposed to explain to my son that we both won't go out trick or treating with him because one of us needs to stay home to give a snicker's bar to your kid? Come on...

Um, not that unreasonable. Plenty of us parents of 3-year old split the duties. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that *most* of us actually do, at least in neighborhoods where we know one another and don't want to be the assholes.

How many days a week do you get to have dinner together as a family? Spend time together in the evenings as a family? My husband doesn't walk in the door from work until 8pm. So, zero days a week for us. Special "kid" occasions like Halloween are the rare evening times that my son looks forward to us both being there with him. We plan it and it is important family time for us. We split a lot of duties. I'm not splitting up our family time for the sake of your snowflake.

Well hopefully your nieghbors don't feel the same way otherwise you, DH, and your snowflake will have no where to go trick or treat. Most families split up the duties to enable trick or treating to take place otherwise it would be a nieghborhood of darkened homes.

NP here. What kind of neighborhoods do you all live in?? I live in AU Park, and while there are many children, not everyone's kids are the same age. There are also plenty of empty nesters. My kid is still too small to trick or treat (so I'm only handing out candy now, not collecting any), but when the time comes, I'm pretty sure we'll go together, at least the first couple of years. All these types of comments are predicated on the idea that everyone in the neighborhood has kids around the same age, and I don't see that in my neighborhood.

Exactly. These things just work out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People are craaaaaaaaaaaaazy.

If your neighbors are going to be mad that your house is dark for an hour, you live in a mean neighborhood. Move somewhere normal.

Yep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The biggest factor here is where you live. I'd say only about a fourth of the families in our neighborhood have small kids, so there are plenty of single folks/empty nesters/ parents with teens who can stay home to distribute candy. It's a given in our neighborhood that the families with small kids are out trick-or-treating and not home giving out candy. It works well for us.

The most overused statement on DCUM (alternatives include "It works for our family.") Meaning: We don't care that it's rude, we do it anyway.

Well put, PP. This is the classic case of people getting on DCUM and trying to rationalize their inconsiderate behavior, instead of acknowledging that they are acting selfishly when it's pointed out to them.

[Anonymous]

Look, I am usually all about the "what if everyone did it?" argument, but in this case it just doesn't hold water unless the vast majority of families on your block have kids under 8 or so. Most neighborhoods have enough of a balance that this isn't relevant. And if there really are that many families with small kids on a block, then yes, you should probably take turns handing out candy. But otherwise you're just being a martyr.