Feedback from uptown all girls for K?

[Anonymous]

If you want to be able say you send your daughter to Brearley, send her to Brearley. If you want her to be able to critically think or know her multiplication tables, maybe have a long, hard think about which is more important because right now it’s a choice.

(it’s not en vogue to teach math in ways we know works, it’s why everyone does Russian or Kumon because those ways actually do work. i figured out my kid did math facts on a computer which is why she didn’t reach fluency, i looked into and supplemented it on my own. all that homework, all those tutoring hours to fill out worksheets about how you feel about your friends rather than learning to do arithmetic in their head. no wonder they are cranky).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly your experience is a great argument for eschewing private schools - which are to varying degrees all like this - altogether and going public instead; nobody policing parent speech there.

Don’t disagree, but the NYC DOE is its own can of worms filled with complications.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you want to be able say you send your daughter to Brearley, send her to Brearley. If you want her to be able to critically think or know her multiplication tables, maybe have a long, hard think about which is more important because right now it’s a choice.

(it’s not en vogue to teach math in ways we know works, it’s why everyone does Russian or Kumon because those ways actually do work. i figured out my kid did math facts on a computer which is why she didn’t reach fluency, i looked into and supplemented it on my own. all that homework, all those tutoring hours to fill out worksheets about how you feel about your friends rather than learning to do arithmetic in their head. no wonder they are cranky).

So which is the school that you’re moving your child to that does everything the traditional way? I’m curious because all the private schools do the same thing. Brearley at least does Singapore Math, which is more traditional than Bridges and the like.

[Anonymous]

Singapore Math is great for kids who struggle with math, but it is a giant annoying time sink for kids who grasp concepts quickly without going through all of the tedious business of peeling away layers of abstraction.

[Anonymous]

There is no perfect school. There are some that teach better material, have better teachers who have been there for decades, don’t suddenly push out long term employees and don’t chase every newfangled trend, notice that their math whizzes have slowed down because they can’t do arithmetic in their head, don’t overload the children with busywork at a stupidly young age and also don’t punish children if their parents complain. If you’re going to load kids down with so much work they don’t have time to read on their own, they should get something out of it.


quote=Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you want to be able say you send your daughter to Brearley, send her to Brearley. If you want her to be able to critically think or know her multiplication tables, maybe have a long, hard think about which is more important because right now it’s a choice.

(it’s not en vogue to teach math in ways we know works, it’s why everyone does Russian or Kumon because those ways actually do work. i figured out my kid did math facts on a computer which is why she didn’t reach fluency, i looked into and supplemented it on my own. all that homework, all those tutoring hours to fill out worksheets about how you feel about your friends rather than learning to do arithmetic in their head. no wonder they are cranky).

So which is the school that you’re moving your child to that does everything the traditional way? I’m curious because all the private schools do the same thing. Brearley at least does Singapore Math, which is more traditional than Bridges and the like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Singapore Math is great for kids who struggle with math, but it is a giant annoying time sink for kids who grasp concepts quickly without going through all of the tedious business of peeling away layers of abstraction.

It’s fine as a component, but the kids who do only it, even the ones who are whizzes, never reach number fluency, never become whizzes, which slows them down when it comes to algebra and makes math less fun. Most of us are not Pythagoras, smart enough to discover the rules of math, but most of us got through calculus.

[Anonymous]

Do you think Brearley has a ton of kids that struggle at math? It makes no
sense for their population. It’s just another example of their lack of thoughtfulness. I’m not a competitive person so I didn’t supplement and had to figure out on my own why these super smart girls didn’t seem to be as good at math as I, who went to a middling public school in middle America for elementary was at their age.


quote=Anonymous]Singapore Math is great for kids who struggle with math, but it is a giant annoying time sink for kids who grasp concepts quickly without going through all of the tedious business of peeling away layers of abstraction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no perfect school. There are some that teach better material, have better teachers who have been there for decades, don’t suddenly push out long term employees and don’t chase every newfangled trend, notice that their math whizzes have slowed down because they can’t do arithmetic in their head, don’t overload the children with busywork at a stupidly young age and also don’t punish children if their parents complain. If you’re going to load kids down with so much work they don’t have time to read on their own, they should get something out of it.


quote=Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you want to be able say you send your daughter to Brearley, send her to Brearley. If you want her to be able to critically think or know her multiplication tables, maybe have a long, hard think about which is more important because right now it’s a choice.

(it’s not en vogue to teach math in ways we know works, it’s why everyone does Russian or Kumon because those ways actually do work. i figured out my kid did math facts on a computer which is why she didn’t reach fluency, i looked into and supplemented it on my own. all that homework, all those tutoring hours to fill out worksheets about how you feel about your friends rather than learning to do arithmetic in their head. no wonder they are cranky).

So which is the school that you’re moving your child to that does everything the traditional way? I’m curious because all the private schools do the same thing. Brearley at least does Singapore Math, which is more traditional than Bridges and the like.

I don’t see a better option for a gifted, hard-working girl than Brearley. To the poster who is upset with changes at the school, I don’t understand where you would move your child that would be better in terms of curriculum/peers. If you want a politically conservative school, there’s CGPS, but that school is not for us at all. I don’t mind an ever-evolving English curriculum. At one point, Jane Austen probably ruffled a lot of male feathers. Math is a different story. I agree that the new methods leave advanced learners behind. Beast Academy/Aops and RSM seem to be the best options but no school in the city is using those. As to suburban public school math, I was bored out of my mind in elementary—although yes, we went faster in than these days. The problem with that system is that when I got to middle school, I had no idea how to learn math — only how to memorize. So I see what they are doing with systems like Bridges. But yes, the slow pace drives me nuts…

[Anonymous]

How are the sciences at Brearley upper school? Biology, Physics, Chemistry? Those don’t seem to be much discussed or emphasized. Are there research opportunities, advanced topic classes, lab/mentor relationships?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the one with the patience to get the person telling me I am racist, lack humility and nickle dime my details to get them to remember a very well loved English class.
I am that parent — the one who cares enough about books and the girls themselves to not just accept what the school tells me, who complains about taking out books by Great Black authors and foundational texts of Civilization. If you want this conversation, don’t expect to have it with parents at brearley. They care too much about keeping up with the other parents, too much about not putting a toe over the line, to making sure their kid is in the right enrichment class or invited to the party to sit around reading a book. Those that aren’t are too scared of the school to have this conversation where someone might hear it.

I am leaving because I am so unhappy with the way they are teaching literature and so tired of trying to fight for the kind education I thought I was getting. I would have this conversation all day every day if I at all thought it wouldn’t end with me being screamed at or my kid being picked on for not falling into line.

If they knew I was having this conversation, daring to besmirch its reputation, they would expel my family. They wrote the contacts so they can do it. They have done it to elementary school students families whose parents dared to say such things in parent meetings. Yes, this type of rhetoric gets you flagged. Part of the reason we won’t be revealing to my daughter’s so called friends is because we know she will be bullied for not “being smart enough” and not as good as them. These are her friends. They are spoiled, overindulged not as bright as they have been told they are ill-informed not very nice girls but also the best she could do. Years and years of watching these once bright little girls — ugh, spare yourself.

I would like to send my kid to the Brearley you have in your head (I once had it, too). I’ll let you know if I find it. One place it is not is on 83rd and East End.

Are you the same poster who said you trust boarding schools even less than B? Where are you planning on sending your daughter? Does she want to leave, as well?

[Anonymous]

My issue with the curriculum is that they pile on work I don’t think is very valuable. My daughter asked me why her cousin gets to look at maps at school and why he gets to study history when she has to fill out so many worksheets about her feelings. He is at a boys school and she freaked out when she visited and saw them playing math games and studying maps. “Why don’t I get to do that? I have to read lady books about dress designers and those boys get to read about bloody battles and how countries came together!”

I think the core of what they have read so far at least in her years is from a xerox copy of the Howard Zinn recommended list from Pollyanna, especially in history. My daughter loves history and once she saw what it was like at another school, she was like I want to go to a real school, not a school for ladies (her word). The stuff they read stinks of contemporary politics since 2020, which will be over and done with before she’s an adult, while the Bible will still be relevant. I also don’t pay for independent schools to have the same curriculum I can download from a consultant website.

Austen was a revolutionary, advocating for women to marry who they want.
It is probably the most feminist act she could have done. I don’t want my daughter to roll her eyes and dismiss it because she’s only ever been taught to think no one born before 1968 knew anything or that questions of rights and responsibilities have ever been easy or obvious. Austen endures because she questioned the status quo, all my daughter reads in school reinforces a particular take. It’s always the “correct” one and is often very superficial and not well written.

Our leaving was prompted by her spending time at a boys school with a cousin and seeing for herself what they were learning vs what she was studying in class. I am not (or maybe I am?) conservative, but I don’t think anyone at her school feels comfortable expressing a different POV than whatever they know is the thing they are supposed to say. I am a Oh God, I have to vote for Cuomo voter and I don’t raise my hand in meetings. The funny part is half that room is probably secret trump voters who vote their taxes. I don’t think you
should teach kids it’s important to go along to get along, especially girls.

Whatever the politics, it’s the silencing of dissent I see happening within my kid and it’s the opposite of what I want from a girls school. So what if she goes to Harvard if she can’t formulate an argument once she’s there?

They aren’t learning basic civics but can mumble the difference between equity and equality but also aren’t allowed to question if maybe at a school with an admission procedure, merit is an okay thing to believe in. Some committee somewhere decides it’s all land acknowledgements, no national anthem.
It’s not even them not having it, it’s that both girls and parents are treated as problematic for having an opinion on it when we are paying an enormous amount of money. They only care about the families who have tens of millions of dollars to give them, and I hate that my daughter knows that.

Just because you work hard doesn’t mean you are working smart, and if you are going to demand that kids work that hard, I think it has to be for stuff that is worth it. I have heard constantly from my daughter and her friends how worried they are about offending people. About 2022, they added unintended harm as an offense in the discipline code and the mean girls cry to the teachers and turn in girls they don’t like. The end result is they all walk around crying I am sorry, I am sorry all the time.

[Anonymous]

The research shows that the boring way we were taught math, and the new way leads to 30 percent of kids showing up at college not knowing Algebra. We have a lot of ideas about interesting ways to rethink learning but being bored in elementary meant you reached fluency and were much better than you would have otherwise been.

[Anonymous]

Boring way we were taught worked. This way doesnt. It’s why everyone supplements. If I have to do that, I’d rather do it at a place that isn’t loading her with busywork. It’s just rewarding kids for sitting.


Science I always liked and music is top notch.

[Anonymous]

They redshirt so many girls that the younger nerdy ones who didn’t take an extra year to be academically ready at the right age are socially non-entities. My daughter has no social problems in any other group of smart kids, buzzes around like a happy bee, except at Brearley where she spends all day reading because the older girls only want to talk about skin care and stanleys. She figures it’s better to be quiet than bullied.

[Anonymous]

My oldest takes dance classes with a bunch of Brearley girls and she reports that while they're clearly well trained their answers to questions tend to be stiff and rote; even "how did you feel about such-and-such today" produces a little spoken introduction+evidence+conclusion paragraph.