Men seem eager to be remarried!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They want someone to take care of their home, them, and kids?

Bingo

Seriously, if my husband asks me what's for dinner one more time..

I cook all the meals in my house. What should I do if my wife asks me what’s for dinner one more time? Do tell.

Do you do the cooking because you want to or because neither of you want to, but the task is ascribed to you because of your gender?

I don’t want to. I do it because she will not, in general. And when she does, she makes a terrible mess which I then have to clean. It is, as you might say, weaponized incompetence.

She does all this and then she has the nerve to ask you what’s for dinner?
It’s one thing for a man to do this, but finding a woman who does is pretty unique. You really picked poorly, man. Where did you even find her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They want someone to take care of their home, them, and kids?

Bingo

Seriously, if my husband asks me what's for dinner one more time..

I cook all the meals in my house. What should I do if my wife asks me what’s for dinner one more time? Do tell.

Do you do the cooking because you want to or because neither of you want to, but the task is ascribed to you because of your gender?

I don’t want to. I do it because she will not, in general. And when she does, she makes a terrible mess which I then have to clean. It is, as you might say, weaponized incompetence.

That is interesting.
I am the handywoman poster who's ex cooked all the meals while I dealt with demolishing the leaky shower while pregnant and was completely in charge of the kids and worked.
Ex made a huge mess in the kitchen every night. Could not clean as he went along in the cooking. I cleaned up as that was my portion of the nightly chores in exchange for him making the family dinner.
I never thought of it as weaponized incompetence but I guess a man would want to see it that way.
Someone is cooking for you. What kind of ingrate thinks that way?

[Anonymous]

I’m curious what % of married fathers read and process (ID, discuss, process/handle) their wife’s emails or the emails from the school, coaches, camps, invites, Etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious what % of married fathers read and process (ID, discuss, process/handle) their wife’s emails or the emails from the school, coaches, camps, invites, Etc.

After my wife died, I read and processed those emails I deemed important, and ignored the rest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious what % of married fathers read and process (ID, discuss, process/handle) their wife’s emails or the emails from the school, coaches, camps, invites, Etc.

The percentage is 0 in my home. I am surprised if my DH knows a teacher’s name or the days that school is even in session. But I definitely notice that I am communicating with a few dads these days, not more than other moms, but there are some dads who seem to be running the household.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious what % of married fathers read and process (ID, discuss, process/handle) their wife’s emails or the emails from the school, coaches, camps, invites, Etc.

The percentage is 0 in my home. I am surprised if my DH knows a teacher’s name or the days that school is even in session. But I definitely notice that I am communicating with a few dads these days, not more than other moms, but there are some dads who seem to be running the household.

my ex-H was very involved when we were together and even more now. He has a busy job, own side businesses, date and handles 50/50 custody very well. He is also at almost all of kids events and help them do HW etc so there are a few like that. he is actually more involved after the divorce. We couldn't work out due to incompatibility but his attention towards kids is not a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They just want a bang-nanny. Don’t fall for it!

why not? A lot of women want that so what's the issue?

A lot of women want to care for a mans children with other women and be an on-demand sex doll? Some sure, but hardly "a lot".

Men are so delusional.

That's her choice and some women have understood and accepted the exchange they would get in this situation and ok with it because the alternative is even worse in which they don't have money and continue to work, work for nothing. Now, some of them still make good money and are more willing to adjust than the others. It is quite common actually.

I can see that. I met a few never married, childfree women who are in their 50s who would probably go for this arrangement. They are a bit weirdish though.

I have seen them and I have also seen a lot of single mothers who are just tired of working, struggling with finances and never getting a break. They need someone who can handle finances, and be their support and they are ok with this arrangement. For a lot of them it works really well and they are less stressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They just want a bang-nanny. Don’t fall for it!

why not? A lot of women want that so what's the issue?

A lot of women want to care for a mans children with other women and be an on-demand sex doll? Some sure, but hardly "a lot".

Men are so delusional.

That's her choice and some women have understood and accepted the exchange they would get in this situation and ok with it because the alternative is even worse in which they don't have money and continue to work, work for nothing. Now, some of them still make good money and are more willing to adjust than the others. It is quite common actually.

I can see that. I met a few never married, childfree women who are in their 50s who would probably go for this arrangement. They are a bit weirdish though.

I have seen them and I have also seen a lot of single mothers who are just tired of working, struggling with finances and never getting a break. They need someone who can handle finances, and be their support and they are ok with this arrangement. For a lot of them it works really well and they are less stressed.

By "handle finances," do you mean give up control over finances? These women need to learn how to manage their own money. They have kids. Turning it all over their financial security to an unrelated man is negligent parenting.

[Anonymous]

I’m just broken from my ex. After a rough first marriage that will continue to take the bulk of my finances for 5 more years, I am not even interested in dating. I just want peace, but if I do date again marriage is not on the table.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious what % of married fathers read and process (ID, discuss, process/handle) their wife’s emails or the emails from the school, coaches, camps, invites, Etc.

After my wife died, I read and processed those emails I deemed important, and ignored the rest.

Yep, I think this here is why men and women argue about this kind of issue. Men are much more selective with texts or emails they deem need an actual response. Not every communication needs a response. Not every weekend needs to be planned. Not everything needs to be scheduled out 2 months in advance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious what % of married fathers read and process (ID, discuss, process/handle) their wife’s emails or the emails from the school, coaches, camps, invites, Etc.

0%. I am in the middle of a divorce and I know whenever my STbX is going to meet with attorneys or people involved in our custody dispute because he runs around in a panic trying to find schedules and dates and asking the kids about school and activity communications. Anything to avoid admitting to me or legal people that he didn’t read emails, never signed up for emails, or doesn’t even know what activities exist so he can’t even call the activity begging for the emails.

He had a decade to sign up for all of this and I used to forward everything to him, yet he still has no idea what’s going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious what % of married fathers read and process (ID, discuss, process/handle) their wife’s emails or the emails from the school, coaches, camps, invites, Etc.

After my wife died, I read and processed those emails I deemed important, and ignored the rest.

What’s you do when your wife was alive and in the house with you and these emails came in to both of you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious what % of married fathers read and process (ID, discuss, process/handle) their wife’s emails or the emails from the school, coaches, camps, invites, Etc.

After my wife died, I read and processed those emails I deemed important, and ignored the rest.

Most adults skim and prioritize their emails daily and process important ones.

The problem is when an adult with kids doesnt. and forces others to for them or for anything to get done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious what % of married fathers read and process (ID, discuss, process/handle) their wife’s emails or the emails from the school, coaches, camps, invites, Etc.

After my wife died, I read and processed those emails I deemed important, and ignored the rest.

Yep, I think this here is why men and women argue about this kind of issue. Men are much more selective with texts or emails they deem need an actual response. Not every communication needs a response. Not every weekend needs to be planned. Not everything needs to be scheduled out 2 months in advance.

Prioritizing emails is not the question.

The question is if one parent is forced to play prioritizer & handler secretary for ALL COMMs and INFO b/c the other is totally checked out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious what % of married fathers read and process (ID, discuss, process/handle) their wife’s emails or the emails from the school, coaches, camps, invites, Etc.

0%. I am in the middle of a divorce and I know whenever my STbX is going to meet with attorneys or people involved in our custody dispute because he runs around in a panic trying to find schedules and dates and asking the kids about school and activity communications. Anything to avoid admitting to me or legal people that he didn’t read emails, never signed up for emails, or doesn’t even know what activities exist so he can’t even call the activity begging for the emails.

He had a decade to sign up for all of this and I used to forward everything to him, yet he still has no idea what’s going on.

+1

My loser white collared exec Ex dos the same.

Emails and asks females daily what to do or what the schedule is- teachers, daughters, other moms.

Coparenting with someone who Opts Out continues to be painful for the children. I stopped caring, the sooner the kids know he’s unreliable and inconsistent, the better for them. The need to set boundaries with him forever. I don’t any more.